Title: Remember When It Rained
Author: Anna
Rating: PG (yes, I changed the rating somewhat as I've had some thoughts about upcoming scenes...I've edited the post for the first part to match this rating)
And on to Part 2...
Getting dressed the following morning, Lois reflected on the conversation she’d had with Clark. She hadn’t been entirely honest with him, saying that she’d keep his secret solely for the sake of Martha and Jonathan. The truth was that she wouldn’t tell a soul even if his parents didn’t exist. She just wanted him to feel a little of the pain she felt. Because while her anger appeared to be dissipating, the hurt still remained. For some reason she seemed to be feeling more…more…. More what? Lois shook her head as she pulled on a shoe. Well, just more than she’d felt before. But what on earth did that mean?
As she drove to work, her mind was still puzzling through how her feelings could possibly have an added intensity to what they’d had in the past; the last time she’d felt betrayed by a man. Claude. It was only as she turned into a parking space at the Planet that she became conscious of the reason, of the ‘how’. Clark. Clark just meant…more. More than Claude, more than any other man had ever meant before. The list of other men wasn’t exactly a long one, given the distrust of men instilled in her by her father. But Clark… Well, Clark was just different to all of them. Unlike the others, he’d firmly inserted himself into her life, first as her partner and then as a friend. As a friend he’d become incredibly important; a central figure in her life and seemingly vital to her continued sanity. Now, as a man – the only man really – that she could envision a future with, he was infinitely more precious. However scary that was.
This revelation caused Lois to walk into the bull pit of the newsroom with a frown fixed securely upon her face. Her heart jumped in her chest at the sight of Clark, before she noticed that he was with Diana Harwood. The young blonde was beaming at him, her chair pulled as close as it could get to his while they worked on a story. Frankly, Clark looked a little uncomfortable with her proximity, but he wasn’t putting extra distance between them. Lois’ grimace became more pronounced.
Giving every indication that she was ignoring Clark and Diana, Lois swiftly crossed the newsroom floor to her desk and started thumbing through her Rolodex. When a hand landed on her shoulder, she jumped, startled at the interruption. Turning, she was ready and willing to give whoever had surprised her like that a piece of her mind.
“Sorry, Lois,” Dougal got in first, his usual slick smile firmly in place. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Disconcerted, Lois wasn’t sure what to say. Instead she sat down in her chair and turned on her computer. “We’ve got a lot of work to do today,” was what she finally managed to get out. A sigh escaped her lips. “Did you get a chance to go over those dates of supposed Cost Mart shipments last night?”
“Yes, I-”
“Well? Did any of them match up with our other information regarding Intergang?”
Dougal’s smile wavered. For some reason, this morning Lois Lane seemed immune to his natural charms. “Not really. That’s why I’d like to talk to you about-”
“They didn’t?” Lois pulled a face. “How can that be? I was so sure…”
“Sometimes these things just don’t work out, Lois,” Dougal said soothingly, placing his hand on her shoulder in what Lois was sure was supposed to be a reassuring manner. “Sometimes you just need to give up and move on to something else.”
Irritated at his words and at his presuming touch, Lois shifted pointedly in her chair, jostling his hand free of her shoulder. She was about to inform him that Lois Lane did not give up, when something – later, she wouldn’t be able to say quite what it was – caught her attention about her partner and stopped her. Her instincts told her that something was wrong in this situation. That ‘something’ was either the words being said, or the actions, or simply the person. She glanced at Dougal: what was it that had made her wary enough to bite back her retort? That was something else that Lois Lane didn’t do. Not usually, anyway. Something wasn’t right here…
“So, what did you have in mind? To, uh, move on to, that is?” Lois said flashing Dougal what she knew was an overly bright smile. Dougal didn’t appear to notice her rapid shift to excessive cheerfulness. He was too busy touching her again. Lois stifled the urge to thump him and quietly decided to do some investigating later on her own.
Across the room, Clark had been watching the exchange with a growing feeling of animosity towards the Irish man. He wouldn’t go so far as to say that he’d like to hurt Dougal, because Superman, not to mention Clark Kent, did not intentionally harm people. But to be completely honest, he was close to changing his mind. Just a little bit: just enough to allow him to throw one punch Dougal’s way.
Then, just as suddenly as he’d started touching Lois, Dougal stopped. Clark watched for a moment or two more, but no further handling of his partner ensued. So he made himself listen to what Diana was saying.
“-and then the mayor’s assistant said that she’d left the office at eight fifteen, right? So I checked the mayor’s statements and he said she left no later than six thirty. There’s a whole hour and a three quarters difference! So I asked around, and those sources who watch city hall closely report that the mayor’s assistant did in fact leave at around six thirty, and, I quote, ‘She looked fine’.”
Clark grinned at the young woman. “Good work, Di. Looks like you’re becoming almost as tenacious as Mad Dog Lane.”
Diana blushed and looked up at him from under her long eyelashes. “I’ll take that as a compliment, Clark,” she giggled. Then she became more serious. “Look, I have something I’d like to ask you. You can say no, but I hope you won’t. You’ll remember that the Kerth ceremony is coming up in just over a week, and I was wondering – hoping – that’d you’d go with me.”
Clark glanced down at where her hand had landed, laced with his and holding on with a pleading grip. All of a sudden his chest felt constricted and he nervously began to fiddle with his tie. “Oh…um, well you know I usually, um, go with…” He paused here, somehow afraid of saying Lois’ name.
“With Lois,” Diana finished for him. “I know. But I was just thinking that maybe, since we’re partners this time round that you might forgo tradition in favour of…friendship?”
From over at the coffee pot, Lois rolled her eyes at the flagrant flirting that Diana was engaging in. After watching the exchange between Clark and his partner she’d wandered closer to them, pretending all the while to be filling her coffee mug. But her real objective was of course to listen in on the conversation: the urge to investigate just what Diana Harwood meant by clasping Clark’s hand and looking at him in that overly amorous manner couldn’t be ignored. The poor naïve farm boy was going to get himself roped into doing something that she’d–um, he’d regret.
Meanwhile, Clark was debating the situation internally. Taking Diana to the Kerths would certainly make Lois jealous; Clark wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. On the other hand, did he really want to go with Diana? Would he enjoy himself with her? He’d have a better time with Lois it was true, but that was simply because she was Lois and he loved her. However, in her present state of mind and with all the anger she was directing towards him, realistically it wouldn’t be the same; she’d probably spend the entire night yelling at him for lying to her, if he could even get her to go with him in the first place. Clark stifled a loud sigh: in spite of everything, he’d still rather go with Lois Lane.
That settled it. He had to say no to Diana. He had to stop her flirting – because that’s what it obviously was; even he, the naïve farm boy, could see that – and let her down easily. She was young: she’d bounce back quickly. Maybe he could even set her up with Jimmy at some later date.
‘You just have to say, ‘Diana, I’m sorry; I can’t go with you to the Kerths. It wouldn’t be right.’ It’s easy, you can do it,’ Clark told himself. But the words that came out of his mouth did not seem to match those swirling round inside his head. “Uh, do you mind if I think about it and get back to you, Di?” Instantly he berated himself for this response, but nevertheless he couldn’t seem to get his mouth to form the right words: the harder words. Because he didn’t want to hurt Diana, but it would be inevitable, eventually. He couldn’t lead her on – but he was! Clark pictured himself pounding his head against a brick wall in penance for his stupidity. Done mentally it didn’t hurt him either; he supposed wryly that that meant the Man of Steel had a steel brain as well.
Still listening with the coffee pot in her hand, Lois was shocked to hear Clark’s response to Diana’s question. She had thought that he would reject her outright. It’d undoubtedly be done in his usual polite, gentlemanly manner but even so, he would reject her. So absorbed was Lois in her eavesdropping, that she didn’t realise her hand had tipped ever so slightly, tilting the open coffee pot towards the floor and her feet. Clark, however, was on full Lois alert as always. He moved at a speed that was almost too fast for a normal man, coming to rest at Lois’ side. Rapidly reaching out, he seized the hot coffee pot and carefully set it down upon the table.
“Careful, Lois,” he said quietly, throwing her a small smile. “Wouldn’t want you to get burnt.”
“I, uh… T-thanks, Clark,” Lois stuttered, grateful to him at that time, despite her mixed feelings towards him in general. At that moment she became aware of their close proximity to one another and felt her heart begin to hammer against her chest in that old familiar way. She looked down. Her face felt warm: she could imagine the crimson countenance she must now be presenting to those close by. Attempting to collect herself, Lois counted to ten under her breath and then glanced up, directly into the deep brown eyes of the man she’d been trying so hard to avoid. Her heartbeat seemed to quicken again and she found her breathing hard to control. She had to get away from him; he was dangerous, even now, even when she was mad at him. He was chocolate and she was the dieter. But those eyes – a careful balance between an intense untapped passion and Clark’s own extraordinary tenderness and compassion… No! It had to be done, while she still retained enough control over her body to move. “E-excuse me,” she stuttered once more, edging away from him and back towards her desk. She almost stumbled along the way, catching herself at the last moment and trying to make it look as if she’d meant to lean against Ralph’s desk. ‘How does he do that to me?’ she asked herself, sitting back down at her desk. ‘How does he manage to make me so incredibly weak in the knees every time I’m near him?’ The answer, Lois discovered, was simple: it was because despite everything, she was in love with him.
*****
Later in Smallville Superman paced the floor, his agitated state apparent in his creased forehead and clenched fists.
“I understand why she’s mad, Mom. What I don’t understand is why she’s asked Perry to partner her with Dougal instead of with me! I mean, surely the entire situation would be easier on both of us if we just talked it over? Right?”
“Uh, Clark…”
“I mean, talking about a difficult situation helps to work out the problems and to solve them! Talking soothes hurt feelings. If I don’t get to talk to her, how am I ever going to convince her that I’m sorry and get her to see that I had to keep this,” gesturing at the Superman suit, “from her? And Lois likes to talk: she likes to babble. I love that about her. So why won’t she talk to me now? I want to talk: she doesn’t want to talk. Doesn’t that seem like a complete paradox to you? I-”
“Clark Jerome Kent! Stop!” Martha Kent stood in front of her son, her eyes behind their glasses firm. “You’re babbling just as much as Lois does. Now calm down, take a deep breath and stop pacing! You’re making me dizzy.”
Properly chastened, Clark did as his mother told him and once he was seated, spoke again. “Sorry, Mom.”
“That’s alright, Clark. But you know, just because Lois isn’t talking doesn’t mean she isn’t thinking. She’ll talk to you when she’s ready. She probably just needs some time to process everything!”
Clark looked at his mother thoughtfully. “You know, you’re probably right. And I haven’t been allowing her to do that. How did you get so wise?”
“I’m not particularly wise, Clark,” Martha said, trying to hide a grin. “I just know how women think.”
“That makes you wiser than me,” Clark chuckled, but his face quickly became serious once more. “I’ve been pushing Lois to talk to me since this happened. And every time I do, she just succeeds in yelling at me some more. I guess I handled it wrong. I’m just so frustrated about the whole situation!”
“We understand that son,” Jonathan Kent spoke for the first time, moving over to sit beside Clark and place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “but Lois, from what we’ve seen and heard of her, is a very independent young woman. Independent and-”
“Headstrong,” Clark finished with a sad smile. “One of the things I love about her the most.”
“Then let her get her head around the situation, honey,” Martha interjected. “Let her realise how much you mean to her. Because Lois loves you; I’m certain of it.”
“How can you be so sure, Mom?”
“Because I’ve seen it in her eyes.” Martha smiled gently at her son and there was a moment of silence between the family members. Clark was the first to break it.
“Waiting is going to be hard, but I know it’ll be worth it in the end.”
*****
“And he-he just drives me nuts! You know? One minute we’re enjoying dates with one another, the next I find out about this secret of his and it changes everything. I’m not even sure if he’s the same guy I-” Lois paused mid-sentence, looking uncertainly at her therapist, Dr. Friskin.
“Yes, Lois? What was it? Come on, it’s not that difficult to say, is it?”
Lois shook her head and backtracked a little before continuing. “-the same guy I fell in love with.”
“What makes you think that he may not be the same man, Lois?” Dr. Friskin asked calmly.
There it was, the question she’d been expecting from the doctor. She’d been anticipating it, but yet she had no idea how to answer it. How on earth was she supposed to explain that the reason her boyfriend didn’t seem like the same man to her was that he was also, well…Superman? Lois thought fast; she knew Dr. Friskin was waiting.
“I’ve…seen another side of him,” she finally said, giving a slightly apologetic smile at how weak her explanation sounded. She was usually so good under pressure…
“Another side?” Dr. Friskin nodded. “I see. And this ‘other side’, does it appear often?”
“Almost everyday,” answered Lois with a sigh.
“Is there any situations that bring out that side more?”
“Um…life and death situations, usually,” she said truthfully. “He feels like he needs to lend a hand.”
“Ahh… We call that the ‘Superman Complex’,” Dr. Friskin nodded for a second time. “Go on.”
“He’s more…aloof; more reserved in that guise. He doesn’t have as much time for me.”
“But does he help people at all, Lois? Or does he merely hinder them?”
“Oh no…he helps. He’s actually pretty good at it. He’s helped me a number of times. In fact, he’s saved my life.” Lois smiled, remembering the times that Clark had saved her without the Suit. In particular, the times when he hadn’t even used his super powers, unless of course you counted his incredible compassion and tenderness as powers…
“So, if he’s helping, why do you feel that you can’t love that side of him also?” Dr. Friskin’s voice broke into her thoughts and her words made Lois think. Why couldn’t she love the super side of Clark? Didn’t she love that side of him anyway?
“I guess it’s not that I can’t love that side of him, it’s more the fact that I’m feeling hurt over him hiding that side from me for so long. I was angry as well, but I think that that feeling’s gone now.”
“So now it’s just the pain that’s left.” The doctor wrote something down, and Lois suddenly registered that she’d been writing throughout the session. That she, an investigative reporter, had missed such a small detail made her realise how much she was concentrating on her fight with Clark.
“Um, Dr. Friskin?” she said hesitantly.
“Yes, Lois?” The elder woman glanced up.
“Do you think I’ll ever be able to forgive him?”
“I think that that’s entirely up to you, Lois,” said the doctor. “But I do know that in the past month or so I’ve seen a real willingness in you to make positive, life altering decisions where before you were too scared. Perhaps forgiving this man might fall into that category.”
“Yes…” mused Lois. “Perhaps it might.”
********************
To be continued...
