Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Honeymoon in... Vegas (2/6) or... Is it getting a little hot in here?

love this beginning--steamy, witty, intriguing A-plot...all the elements that will keep me tuned in for Sue-updates. Thanks again for sharing your talent!

Student:

MY VACATION

Mom woke me up at six thirty. Me and my sister were really sleepy. I was so sleepy that I fell asleep all over again. Mom had to wake me up again. Then when I wanted to go to the bathroom, my sister was there and she wouldn't get out. I had to yell and scream at her. Then after twenty minutes she finally got out. I needed to go to the bathroom so badly, I had to sit down and cross my legs while I waited. Mom yelled at me that I should finish packing. Or that I should come down and have breakfast. But I couldn't do anything before I could go to the bathroom. Then my sister got out and I could get in there. I did the stuff I had to do and then I had a shower and then I dried myself and then I fixed my hair and my makeup and then I went out and started packing. I hadn't packed a lot, but I guess you don't need much when you are going to Hawaii. You aren't going to wear much, I mean. So I packed four more swimsuits and two more towels. And two more pairs of flipflops. And two more pairs of sunglasses. Then Mom said I had to come down and have breakfast, so I did. Well, first I got dressed. I put on a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Then I went to the kitchen for breakfast. I had some toast with peanut butter and jelly and a glass of juice. Dad told us we'd better hurry up, or we'd miss the plane. So we started loading our suitcases into the trunk of our Ford. Then we got into the car. Well, Dad had to check all the doors to see if they were locked and if the burglar alarms were on. He almost set one off, too. Then we all got into the car, Mom, Dad, me and my sister. And our dog. We had to drive to my aunt and leave the dog with her before we could go to Hawaii. So we did. My aunt doesn't live too far away. We stopped at her house and Mom took our dog and got out of the car. My aunt had been waiting for us, so she came out to greet Mom. But she was a bit angry when she found out that we hadn't walked the dog before we brought him over. So my aunt had to do that right away. Then Mom came back to the car and we started driving to the airport. It was a rather long drive. I got sleepy. I thought I'd be able to sleep, but then my sister started playing some awful music, so we had a fight and I couldn't sleep. Then Dad told us that if we couldn't behave we'd have to stay home...

Teacher: Interesting... how about if you try to tell us less about your preparations and more about your actual vacation in Hawaii?

Student: No, first I have to write about how we got to the airport, and where we parked the car, and how we checked in, and how walked around and waited for our flight, and how we bought some clothes in a store at the airport, and how there was a cute guy at the airport who was going to Brazil, and how I wanted to talk to him but then his gate was called and he left, and how we had some snacks, and how they told us to go to our gate, and how we were waiting to get on board, and how we could not sit together, and how my sister got a better seat than me, and how the lady sitting next to me was really fat and smelly, and how the take-off was a bit scary, and... I'm not sure I'm going to have time to write anything about Hawaii.

(Sorry, DJ. I have had too many essays like this one handed in to me by students. Of course, this boring rambling has nothing whatsoever in common with Sue's story, except that, maybe, neither of these stories may be getting to Hawaii.)

And I know I'm being stupid here. Sorry. And a great writer can write a masterpiece about the preparations you have to make before going to Hawaii, and Sue is a great writer. So, Sue, if you actually bring us to Hawaii, and not just drive us to the airport (and what a memorable ride that is going to be!!!) then the time you are giving us in Hawaii will be a wonderful bonus.

Ann

Jen! Sorry - you posted while I was still composing yesterday! I'm glad I could entertain you. Someone has to take up the slack for your former roommates.

Terry, I'm glad you laughed! That was *meant* to be funny. Sometimes it's hard to tell if anyone gets the little things I put in to amuse myself. I'm greatly heartened when someone else gets me.

Thanks to Sheila and Jackie - I will get back as soon as possible. Because I went and said "six" parts, I keep having to futz around with the chapter breaks (for maximum dramatic effect or a cliffhanger). This means that parts three and four have become longer, but I doubt anyone is really going to complain about that. She might. But maybe Clark actually gives her something to be upset over. I did. It depressed the hell out of me. I thought it was beautifully written, but man, it left me sad and miserable. So much so that, ten years later, when I finally visited Ireland, I had this foreboding feeling the entire time we were in Shannon. Which is horrible, because it's a very lovely place and the people could not have been nicer. Frank McCourt is a wonderful writer but when I read I want to be transported to a happier existence than my sometimes hellish life. That's why I love fanfic. Bad things might happen, but (at least in my stories) it's all going to turn out okay in the end. Except maybe in this story. There is. I've read nfic stories that were nothing more than a mechanical explanation of Tab A and Slot B. I've read PG stories that were so sensual that my heart raced and I was happily left to imagine what might have happened next (Caroline's fabulous If I Were You being a prime example). Sometimes I'd rather leave it up to my imagination to know what happened next (but then, you all know what a dirty mind I have). Like I said earlier in this thread, sometimes it's more fun to come right up to the line and nudge it with your toes than to actually cross it. In general, I find sexual tension far more sexy than plain old sex. Heh, thanks! It's one of my favorite flaws for Clark - he's a typical male when it comes to Lois. Thanks, Joy! I'm glad you're along for the ride.

Thanks to everyone who's replied - I'm soooo motivated. I may just slack away the afternoon and write instead of work.

ETA: Ann posted while I was posting, so I'll just tack this on. I've lived in Nevada (pronounced with a FLAT A like "cat" and not like people from the East Coast or Hollywood pronounce it where the a's suddenly rhyme with "cod". You say it like that to a true Nevadan and it's like pronouncing the "S" in Illinois or making it "Ore-gone" instead of "Ore-gun", but I digress). Nevada is nowhere near Hawaii. I don't foresee them ending up there. :p

Here's my take on the build-up vs. action question. Years ago my husband and I spent nearly the entire summer apart because his job had taken him to the other side of the country. We talked to each other every few days. After about a month our conversations would inevitably end with us discussing just what exactly we were going to do when he got home.

As the summer went on our chatter got steamier and steamier. I still blush when I think about some of the things he (or I) said. It became this fun kind of contest, to see who could out-do the other on fantastical ideas (some of them so NOT possible), but anyway... When he finally did come home, it was fun and we had a great time, but it wasn't nearly as fun as just talking about it had been (for me, anyway).

Sometimes the daydream is more fun. But not always.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

That last line, though - that was beyond perfection. Sheer genius, Sue. It was funny and sad, all at the same time. Loved it.

Yvonne

I agree with everyone. It was wonderful. I hadn't seen the first part, so when I saw this FDK I went back and read both the first and second part. This story put a smile on my face. Thanks for that.

Laura

snoooort.

You think you can stack up to Lindsey's demonstrations on how to save your pot by smoking out in an empty V8 jug in the kitchen sink?


JD

Pardon me if someone already mentioned this, I kind of buzzed through the comments.

Lois isn't going to have any fingernails left, is she.

doublel

Wow -- great story.
The two timelines really ramp up the suspense.

I can't wait for more.

This line just makes me laugh. I'm loving this story!

Thanks Yvonne! I have to give credit for that last line to DJ. Originally I just had that she was in need of a manicure and she had an emery board. It was DJ who made it funny and sad at the same time.

Laura - I'm glad you're enjoying the story and that it made you smile. That's what I was after.

Jen - I'd have to take up smoking to do anything really wicked with a V8 jug, but if it meant I got to be your roommate, I'd certainly give it a shot.

Linda - Ha! Lois will have fingernails left, but just barely.

Allie - Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying the double timeline. I don't think it will be too hard to keep them separate. At least, I hope not.

Angie - You also picked one of my favorite lines to quote. Thank you so much for that.

I'm giving part three one last read-through and then I'll be posting. Thanks to everyone for the encouragement!

I did? Really? Awwww! Thanks Sue! <<<hugs>>>

Now hurry up and get 3 posted! <g>

-- DJ

I remember now why I didn't leave fdk for this part when I read it... *looks away in pure embarrassment* I was working on Blizzard - the first few pages, the ones dripping with N - and I read this and thought... OMG... this is brilliant and it's hot and she doesn't even need to cross the border into N. How the hell does she do that? ...and it got me depressed and... erm, I shouldn't have said that.

Anyway... FDK!

First off, the few little moments with Martha and Jonathan are wonderful! The dialog is absolutely perfect and you can totally feel the apprehension - just wonderful and perfect.

Oooh! Toes curling. *dreamy sigh* Her head is where her heart is - trouble is that they don't speak the same language and don't understand each other very well. Shame, really.

more dreamy sighs... Possessive!Clark

*melts* I just die when he promises her "always" - I'm sure you could tell, seeing as how I used it so many times in Blizzard. *sigh*

*giggles* just too darned funny

That was such a great part... *sighs some more* My brain isn't able to form rational thoughts after reading this, you realize... and I'm just really green with envy. :-/

Ok, Elisabeth is reading this to me on a nightly basis. (She is so much better reading out loud and I enjoy listening to her voice, anyway.)

Part 1 comments.

I thought I would die laughing as she read this one. Too funny.

Part 2 comments.
Yes, that is exactly what a shotgun marriage is. LOL!

Oh, this was a nice little hormonal rollercoaster. It was well written.

Now I'm going to log off and crawl in bed next to my legal, lawfully wedded and well loved wife.

James

LOL! This is just getting better and better, and yeah it was awesome sexy toward the end there, whew poor Clark...poor Lois! anyway I liked it for the funny too, especially right here!
LOL! That's just perfectly what Perry would have demanded! Why weren't you writing for this show??? Where the heck were you?? We coulda had 10 more years of LNC if you'd been head writer.