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#43041 05/25/07 07:51 PM
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Yay, Larafic!

I'll be back tomorrow (well, technically later today) to give you better feedback when I can keep my eyes open for more than five seconds. But I couldn't miss starting the thread and telling you how great you are! As always, your dialogue is superb, and your writing is just the right mix of humor and waff and general wonderfulness.

You rock!


"Lois Lane is Clark Kent's Superman." - Brian Miller
#43042 05/25/07 09:30 PM
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Lois shot Clark a dirty look when she realized he was staring at her. Again. It seemed as though every time she looked up, he was glancing in her direction. At first, she'd found it somewhat flattering, but now... now she was getting tired of whatever little game it was that he was playing. Lois wished he'd just come up and say it - whatever he had on his mind.
Hmmmm, yes - reminds me of all those years when he'd show her that he was interested, only to show her that he wasn't interested.... frown

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Knowing that no amount of wishful thinking could change Clark Kent into someone more like... oh, say Superman... Lois went back to work on her article.
wink

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"Lois Lane," she said into the receiver, sounding slightly annoyed.
I like this, how we so easily take out our bad mood on others.

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"Please... Call me Bruce. And the pleasure is all mine, Lois."

Lois blushed, though she wasn't sure why.
I don't want Lois to fall for Bruce, of course, but I can't help it - I like it that she blushes!

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"How about over dinner? I'm staying at the former Lexor Hotel – the penthouse suite. If you're free tonight, of course?"

Lois blushed even more and shot yet another glance in Clark's direction.
Welcome to my suite - oy! No wonder that she blushes. Of course, I'd send a few rotten cyber tomatoes your way if you'd let her - well, you know what I mean, Lara.... razz

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"Tonight is fine. I'm free tonight," she said, finally. She stopped just short of adding that she was free every night and probably would be until the end of time.
So funny! So sad!

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What had he really hoped to find in there anyway, he wondered? A rule that said "Thou shalt not make a move on Superman's love interest" – honestly? Nevertheless, it would be a cold day in hell before he let this billionaire run away with his girl.
goofy

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"Look, I don't know what's gotten into you," she told them, "but I'm not a prize to be won. I'm flattered by the attention, but trust me, this isn't the sort of attention I want to be getting. Honestly! Have you any idea how it looked? You don't have to worry, though, your secret is safe with me. As long as you promise never to put on a display like that again."
Go, Lois!

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"And you," she said, turning her attention to Bruce. "You owe me that interview. And I won't let you off the hook about that, you can be certain of it. This said, you can forget about dinner. Tonight or any other night, for that matter. I wasn't into that whole rich playboy thing you've got going, but add that to the whole 'dark and disturbed' and, well... I'm sorry, but you're definitely not my type, Bruce."
Ow! She's blunt, isn't she?

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"Oh no, you don't," she told Clark. "He's leaving. I'm not nearly done with you, buster!"
Hehe...

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"You should keep an eye out for trouble," Lois told him in a low voice, making sure no one in the newsroom could hear, "because Superman's going to be otherwise occupied for a while."
HAHAHAHA!!!

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"I never lied to you, Lois," he said, carefully. "I just made up certain facts to keep you from finding out about... certain other facts."
Razz to the power of razz!!!

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Lois raised an eyebrow. "People on this planet call that lying."
That's telling him!!!!

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But part of her knew that he wouldn't have lied to her unless there was absolutely no other way around it – he just wasn't like that and she knew it.
Oh yes, there was a way around it! He was just being a coward. But then, nobody's perfect.

Quote
And another part of her just wished he would finally ask her out. He'd gotten all bent out of shape at the thought of someone else going out with her and that could only mean one thing.
Now you're beginning to see the light, girl!

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I'm not mad."

"You're... not?" He looked at her with an air of disbelief. "I was kind of expecting you'd want to chop me up into little pieces... Very little pieces."

"That wouldn't be my first choice, no. Besides, it would make it pretty hard to go out with you, then," Lois told him, hoping that he'd get a clue, once and for all.
Love this bit of dialogue!

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"Go out..." he repeated, his voice trailing off as he considered what she'd just said. He cleared his throat and went on, "You mean there's a chance you'd say yes if I asked you out?"
Wow!!!! He figured it out! Dense molecular structure of the brain, I know, I know....

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"Does that mean you'd go out with him?"

"Definitely. As a matter of fact, it so happens I'm free tonight."
Yes, because she just cancelled her appointment with Batman!

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"Not anymore," he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her.
And he finally got it!

Wow, what a funny story, Lara! Egad, when I'm thinking of Superman and Batman, fighting it out over Lois like two super stags live on national television... and then resuming the same fight as Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne in the newsroom of the Daily Planet... You know what? There are some peacocks in the Pildammsparken (the Willow Pond Park) very close to where I live, and in spring the males get excited and make bellowing sounds to try to impress their females. On the other side of Pildammsparken there is a football stadium, and once I heard two slightly drunk young guys on their way through Pildammsparken to a match, laughing and shouting and making all kinds of testosterone-heavy sounds as they looked forward with glee to the game. Guess what? One peacock heard the sounds the guys were making and identified them as challenges issued by other males. So the peacock answered, bellowing back at them! And not only that, but the guys recognized what the peacock was doing, and they roared and bellowed back at him! And the guys and the peacock kept it up for several minutes, showing each other which of them had the biggest balls, I suppose!

Haha! So funny, Lara!

Ann

#43043 05/25/07 10:48 PM
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puuurrrrrfect
beautiful dialogue the whole way through, I do not think I can pinpoint places, because it was all soo good


ummm,,
loved LL's character, the whole take charge, and never let go... really epitomised the real LL in my mind

great job


You can't have MANSLAUGHTER without LAUGHTER

The Neuroscientist: Eating glass makes you smart...do you want to see what you can learn?
#43044 05/26/07 12:02 AM
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Such a funny story at such point's I just coudn't stop laughing!! The dialogue was just super!!
Quote
Thou shalt not make a move on Superman's love interest" ā€“ honestly
goofy
Batman and Superman fighting over Lois never thought that day would come!!


"I have no regrets. If you regret things, then you're sort of stepping backwards.
I'm a believer in going forwards." ~Kate Winslet
#43045 05/26/07 01:03 AM
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Lara, this is a lovely story, funny and sweet.

Quote
Clark opened his drawer and looked into the secret compartment for his Justice League Handbook. He read through it at super speed then shoved it back into the drawer, angrily. What had he really hoped to find in there anyway, he wondered? A rule that said "Thou shalt not make a move on Superman's love interest" ā€“ honestly?
rotflol

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There was no other way to interpret the fact that Superman had just accused Batman of "not being man enough to even consider dating Lois Lane" to which the Dark Knight had replied that he, at least, wasn't an alien.
OMG, OMG! I'm half laughing and half in shock!

That's a great Angry!Lois. You tell 'em, girl!

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Maybe they all had PMS or something.
*snort*

I like the revelation. I like that they are so swept up in the moment that they don't notice or care that they are being very obvious. The power of Lois Lane...

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"Oh no, you don't," she told Clark. "He's leaving. I'm not nearly done with you, buster!"
I like this because it shows again so clearly how much Clark means to her and how much Bruce doesn't. She loves Clark enough to spend a lot of extra time yelling at him!

Great work. smile


lisa in the sky with diamonds
#43046 05/26/07 03:14 AM
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lol! Ahh Lara that was simply perfect. I loved how Clark and Bruce were acting so childish... and then properly chided by Lois. The thought of that petite woman ordering both superheroes around just makes me laugh. smile Though I shouldn't be surprised, since Lois has ordered Clark around from day one... anyway, I also loved how Lois flat out told Batman she didn't go for "dark and disturbed." rotflol That made my day.

Loved it!

Laura


Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon. smile
#43047 05/26/07 05:48 AM
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Oooh! I didn't expect to find so much feedback this "morning". (I posted past 3AM, so morning to me is 1PM. LOL!) Thank you so much! I'm more than a little blown away by your FDK.

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Yay, Larafic!
LOL! Since when am I worthy of that sort of expression? blush

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Hmmmm, yes - reminds me of all those years when he'd show her that he was interested, only to show her that he wasn't interested....
*Exactly*! The big lunkhead! wink

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And don't forget to turn off your cheese and take it to the dentist for a haircut while you're at it!
rotflol OMG, Ann, you totally killed me with that one!!

And, yes, of course, Clark was being a coward, making up lies and stories... but she gets that he was protecting a secret; that the goal was this and that he wasn't just making up things for the heck of it. That's what I meant. smile

You really got a laugh out of me with that peacock story. smile Very funny!!

I'm absolutely tickled pink that you guys think the dialog was so good. I try real hard to make it work and not too OOC - so to read comments like these, saying I've done a good job of it, is just absolutely priceless!

Quote
I like this because it shows again so clearly how much Clark means to her and how much Bruce doesn't. She loves Clark enough to spend a lot of extra time yelling at him!
Ya know, in light of everything, I think he got off real easy... *lol* But then, you should see how easily she let him off the hook in the comics - they'd been engaged for a few months before she found out and she barely even had a fit!!! (Even though it took 50 years before he told her. *lol* Luckily comic-book time is weird)

Thank you all for the wonderful comments. You guys totally make it worth staying up until dawn working on stories. sloppy


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#43048 05/26/07 10:08 AM
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Lara,

Having just logged on to see what's new I saw this lovely story.Well Done!!! dance

Well, Bats in the Belfry is a very good title.

Of cause you could have called it "Beware of the Bat from ... (thanks to Meatloaf's song)

or:

"Who's minding the cape tonight?"

or:

Super Kindergarden Kids"

But above all you could have called it..

LOVE CONQUERS ALL


Looking forward to reading many more stories, especially as we all love it when the Good Guy gets his girl.

Regards,

Stuart

#43049 05/26/07 11:07 AM
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Hmm, have I ever mentioned I love superhero-crossovers? Especially with members of the JLA? *g*

Quote
Annoyed, Clark opened his drawer and looked into the secret compartment for his Justice League Handbook. He read through it at super speed then shoved it back into the drawer, angrily. What had he really hoped to find in there anyway, he wondered? A rule that said "Thou shalt not make a move on Superman's love interest" ā€“ honestly?
This so reminde me of 'Bureaucracy'! And the fact that Clark is looking for a rather ridiculous rule... smile1

Quote
"It's a little too late to start apologizing!" she spat. "Your little display's being broadcast live on national TV. I bet it won't take long before the rest of the known universe finds out what you've been fighting about, too."

They looked around themselves quickly and realized that they were surrounded by a large crowd which included a growing number of reporters and TV cameras. They cringed, realizing what this meant and how far this childish little argument had escalated.
Naa-nannaa-na-naa-na! Gotcha! Both their reputations are ruined, for sure! huh


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light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
#43050 05/26/07 11:15 AM
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Lara, this was wonderful! I had a big smile on my face the whole time I was reading, and I laughed out loud at Clark looking through the Justice League Handbook for assistance and at Lois calling Batman "dark and disturbed". So much fun!

Thanks for a delightful read smile .

C.

#43051 05/26/07 02:25 PM
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Adorable! laura


Clark: ā€œIf we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why canā€™t we fall in love in an instant?ā€

Caroline's "Stardust"
#43052 05/26/07 02:40 PM
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What had he really hoped to find in there anyway, he wondered? A rule that said "Thou shalt not make a move on Superman's love interest" ā€“ honestly?
rotflol

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Was there something in the water, maybe? Because it seemed to her like, everywhere she went, men were engaged in shouting matches with one another. Maybe they all had PMS or something.
rotflol

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"Oh no, you don't," she told Clark. "He's leaving. I'm not nearly done with you, buster!"
Can't you just smell the wrath coming... <g>

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"I never lied to you, Lois," he said, carefully. "I just made up certain facts to keep you from finding out about... certain other facts."
Okay, this is brilliant dialogue...but it's the worst explanation ever, Clark! You can't get away with saying that LOL!

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Besides, it would make it pretty hard to go out with you, then," Lois told him, hoping that he'd get a clue, once and for all.
Now that's throwing your cards down on the table!

Great story. Really, it's been a hell of a horrible day working in production, and this whole story just puts on a smile. smile

JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#43053 05/26/07 03:18 PM
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ooooh! More feedback? *squee*!!

Stuart - thanks for the title suggestions. *lol* This one took me hours to find and it's not the brightest thing I ever came up with - I may ask you for help next time. hehehe!

Mellie, I love crossovers too. I'm sure I didn't need to mention. *g* And I know the end is a little too waffy too soon. I know... It's not the way I would have ended it, but the request said the end should be waffy, so... eh. I should have gone with my gut instinct, huh?

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"I never lied to you, Lois," he said, carefully. "I just made up certain facts to keep you from finding out about... certain other facts."
------------
Okay, this is brilliant dialogue...but it's the worst explanation ever, Clark! You can't get away with saying that LOL!
Yeah, this is a brilliant little bit of dialog. I'm almost sorry to have to say that this comes straight out of Tempus Fugitive. I know that whole exchange by heart. blush It's right when they've rented a car in 1966 - just before this great tirade: "You should run for president. Oh but you can't, you weren't born here. Then again, you could just lie. Look at you right now, renting a car, that's a big fat lie! What do you need a car for? You're Superman!" and I can actually hear Lois's voice in my head saying the words as I type them. *lol*

And now for a bit of good news... I got a few private comments on this and I'm going to be posting a "sort of" sequel for this story. Actually, it's going to be "The Deleted Scenes" and it should explain a few things that aren't completely obvious here. Just give me a day or so to get that done and you'll find out exactly what went on that Lois never got to see and hear. wink

ETA: Ooooh! 1500 posts! I'm a bit sad to lose my Top Banana level, though. I liked being Top Banana. hehehe! But YAY for Merriwether!


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#43054 05/26/07 06:02 PM
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Originally posted by LaraMoon:
I'm going to be posting a "sort of" sequel for this story.
Maybe you could have all the bad guys from Gotham keep dropping into town to kidnap Lane for use against Batman.....


Framework4
#43055 06/03/07 02:03 PM
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I think this is my favorite among your stories. Well, maybe this one and the one where Lucy "figures it out." I know it was an A story, but I can't remember the name.

Elisabeth
who was slightly disturbed that no one cleaned up all of that broken glass. What if someone had run through there barefooted? What if a toddler had put broken glass in their mouth (not likely to happen at the Daily Planet, certainly, but it certainly could happen here)? What if someone got a runner in their tights? Or pantyhose?

#43056 06/03/07 02:57 PM
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I must have missed this when it was first posted frown , but I just went back and found it and laughed my behind off laugh . Great work! I'm definately interested in the "deleted scenes."


From Pheremone, My Lovely:

Clark: Lois! Please! Get a grip!
Lois: Believe me, Iā€™d love to!
#43057 06/03/07 04:09 PM
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The one where Lucy 'figures it out' is called "A Sister Would Know" smile

I'm not sure what you mean about the broken glass, Elizabeth... I must have missed something. Which, considering the amount of meds I've been taking, wouldn't be that surprising.

I'll have the deleted scenes ready sometime this week. I've got some serious back problems right now and while I can find a way to sit and use my laptop, the pain and the meds aren't letting me concentrate enough to write. But as soon as I'm able, I'll post that. (Jessi's seen some of it, seemed to think it was funny, too. hehe!)

Thanks again for the feedback, everyone. smile


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#43058 06/04/07 12:14 PM
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Lois runs off to get a vase for the flowers Bruce gives her. When she figures it out, she drops the vase. In my house when something drops, it breaks. Of course, in DJ's (MetroRhode's) house, you can drop crystal candlesticks and there's not a scratch on them.

Elisabeth

#43059 06/04/07 12:33 PM
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oh boy... yeah, you can tell my brain was really mushy from the meds, I didn't even remember the vase. Ooops!

But then... there's an easy answer to your question: Jimmy cleaned it up. It's his job, isn't it? *lol*


Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
#43060 08/26/07 07:00 AM
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I've read it at the archive today. Great story. Don't know how I could have missed it while it was on the boards. Sorry for that.

It made me laugh and smile and I like the end with Lois not being angry.

Great story.

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