From Last Time:
He looked back up at Enza. His lawyer and young friend smiled sadly at them. "I'm sorry it's been so long since last time." Clark hadn't visited in weeks. A few days after she'd first woken up, he'd come by to see her, but since then, he'd made excuses. It was harder to feel sorry for himself when he was confronted by what she'd suffered and what she'd lost.
"I know you're busy, sir," Enza replied.
Clark shook his head. "That's no excuse. How are you feeling?"
"Much better, sir," she said. "Tao Scion thinks I should be up and about soon."
He smiled. "That's wonderful news." And just as Enza's wedding had made him feel hopeful for the first time in ages, her spirit, her determination to pull her life back together, reminded him that sometimes strength could be a deceptively simple thing.
********
New Stuff:
"You're not going back already, are you?"
"I am," she replied as she started packing her bag. Gosem, the younger of her nephews came running into the room, his older brother Tyvos following closely behind. The boys giggled and yelled as they raced around the room.
"All right, that's enough," Serick declared as he hoisted Tyvos up in his arms. "Your sister is trying to sleep."
"Raya's always sleeping, that's all she ever does," Gosem complained as he hid behind his aunt. "She's boring."
"Speaking of sleeping, I think you both need a nap," Serick replied. He hoisted up Gosem and carried both boys out of the room.
"But I'm not tired!" Tyvos protested.
"Nap time," Serick insisted.
Talan shook her head and continued packing. Her brother returned a few minutes later, apparently having succeeded in putting the boys down for a nap.
"Why don't you stay a few more days? You have no idea how much Ama likes having you here."
"I have work to do," Talan replied simply.
Her brother frowned. "Is everything all right?"
"Fine," she replied diffidently.
"Really? The First Minister is leaving in just a few days, isn't he? And you haven't said a word about it."
"We had an argument," she confessed, fully expecting her brother to prod her into telling him what about. But instead, Serick simply frowned thoughtfully.
"Then maybe it's better you stay. Maybe this way it'll be easier."
"I have to do my job. And whatever my personal feelings, I'm not going to use them as an excuse to run away." She knew how stubborn she sounded, but she also knew that she wasn't wrong.
********
Lok Sim looked up at the panel, musing how unusual it was for him to have to look up to see anyone. He swallowed roughly, his throat constricted and raw. The chairman of the inquest frowned studiously as he looked down at his folded hands. After a long moment, he looked up at Lok Sim, his expression stern. "Lieutenant Lok Sim, it is the finding of this panel that you discharged your duties with competence and professionalism. Moreover, during the course of the attack, you conducted yourself with heroism and gallantry in the finest tradition of the service. Your commanders have testified that your actions saved the lives of Corporal Tyrg and Lieutenant Commander Enza. We are confirming Commander Talan's recommendation that you be cited for valor and awarded the Order of the Guardians. The inquest thanks you for your testimony and your assistance, Lieutenant."
He blinked a few times, not certain he heard them correctly. He was being cited for valor? It was the one thing he wasn't prepared to hear. His head swam with strange sounding words like gallantry and heroism. Chewing his lip, he nodded slowly. "Thank you," he managed. Fighting to keep his hands from trembling, he saluted and the officers on the panel returned his salute. Turning neatly on his heel, he walked out of the room, listening to the sound of his footsteps on the solid metal ground.
Outside the chamber, he leaned against the corridor wall and closed his eyes. Relief crashed over him in waves, but his heart still pounded against his chest. He could hear it echoing in his ears. Swallowing around the lump lodged in his throat, he opened his eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. His day wasn't quite done just yet. There was still something he needed to do.
Pushing off the wall, he continued down the corridor. Enlisted personnel saluted as he walked by. Familiar faces nodded hello as they passed him in the halls. It was almost like life was ordinary again. He made his way through the administrative compound and through the security checkpoints. A lone guard arrived to escort him the remainder of the way. Disarming the door to the waiting room, the young guard turned toward him, a nervous expression on his face. "Sir, I need your sidearm," he finally managed.
"Right," Lok Sim replied, unholstering his weapon. Given the circumstances, it wasn't hard to see why they wouldn't let anyone in there armed. He turned over the gun to the guard and opened the door. Once inside, he sat down at one of the two chairs at the plain table in the middle of the otherwise empty room. Lok Sim drummed his knuckles on the table's metal surface as he waited. A few minutes passed before the second door opened and another guard entered, escorting the prisoner. The guard waited by the door, but Sur Ahn turned toward him. "It's all right," she said. Apparently the prisoner was the only one who knew that Lok Sim hadn't come there seeking revenge.
With her hands shackled in front of her she managed to pull out the other chair and sit down. "What are you doing here, Lieutenant?"
"I want to know why," he began. "Why didn't you say anything in your defense?"
"That's odd. I thought you were going to ask why I did it," she replied with a humorless smile. She looked pale and thin. He doubted she'd eaten in days.
"I already know why you did it," he said, folding his arms uncomfortably across his broad chest.
"No you don't," she said. Sur Ahn shook her head sadly. "My Leov was a good man. If he'd known what I was doing, he would have begged me to stop. He would have rather died. But this stopped being about Leov's pain at some point and became about mine. I would have done anything to spare his life, even if it would have made him hate me. It doesn't matter now, though. I knew the consequences of my actions. I'm ready to bear them." Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears.
He shook his head. "But exile…you'll never see your family again…"
"I don't want them to see me like this. I've done something unspeakable. I let myself become a monster. It's better that this world just forget me."
"The outerlands are dangerous. Please, let me testify on your behalf…"
"You are a good man and I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I wish you could have stopped me."
Lok Sim bit his lip and nodded grimly. "So do I."
"I know what you're thinking, Lieutenant. I didn't make any mistakes. I left no trail. I had four long, empty years to do nothing but plan this. There was nothing you could have done."
********
He opened the door and walked into his wife's room. Thia was sitting beside her aunt on the hospital bed. She looked up from her homework as he stepped inside. "Hello," he said with a smile. Lok Sim gave his niece a kiss as he helped her off the bed. He leaned down to kiss Enza. She took his hand and smiled up at him.
"How did it go with the inquest?" she asked.
"Really well," he said.
She closed her eyes and smiled as she squeezed his hand a little tighter. "I'm so glad."
He pulled Thia closer to him. "I love you both so much," he said. Nothing else mattered to him. Nothing else was truer.
Thia wrapped her arms around him. "I love you, too, Lok Sim."
"We both do," Enza replied.
********
Perry held the door to his office open for her. "How was the meeting with your editor?" he asked. Turning over the very last chapters of her book had been a relief, but not the cathartic release she'd hoped it would be. Perhaps it was because there was still so much editing to be done. She was certain she'd feel differently when the galley proofs were finally finished and the book was on its way to the printer.
She sat down on the old couch. "I don't like her as much as I like you," Lois said simply. "It bugs me when she edits my work."
"Well, that is her job," Perry replied with something approaching patience.
"The only people I could ever stand to have edit my copy were you and Clark," she said. Her voice began to break and she drew in a shaky breath. God, she really wanted him there with her. Every time she got stuck on a sentence that refused to write itself or had to relate the experiences in Kinwara that were still raw, she couldn't help but think how much easier it would be if Clark were there. Every time she read a story with Jon, she thought about all of the things he'd been missing. And every night when she went to sleep, she missed him even more. "Perry, I can't do this any more. I'm running on empty and I don't even know where the finish line is. I work better to a deadline, you know?" She was choking back a sob now. Lois wiped at the tears with both hands, feeling Perry's arm come around her shoulder as he sat down beside her.
"Come here, darlin'," he said.
"Just tell me how much longer I have to do this. Another year, five years, I'll wait as long as it takes. I just need to know how much longer it's going to be. I need to know he's coming home." Her body shook as she wept, not sure where this tidal wave of emotions had come from.
Perry held her tightly. "It's okay, honey. Everything's going to be all right."
"Tell me he's coming home," she whispered.
"He is. I know he is. Because that boy loves you more than anything and there is nothing that can keep him away from you. He crossed the universe once to be with you. He'll do it again."
Lois wiped away the last of the tears and looked up at her mentor and surrogate father figure. "I'm sorry," she said somewhat sheepishly. "I don't know why I'm so damn fragile these days."
"You've nothing to be sorry for," he insisted. "And you're not fragile. You're stronger than you know. I wish I could help you more. I wish I knew when he was coming back, but he is coming back, I'm sure of it."
Nodding silently, she leaned back against the couch, sinking into the cushions, thinking she might be swallowed up and just disappear.
********
"One more day," he whispered as he slipped his arms around her waist. Zara turned to look over her shoulder at him and smiled. He took the opportunity to kiss her, remembering the very first time he'd kissed her.
"I love you," she murmured, her lips inches from his.
"And I you," he replied. "We have been through so much to get to this moment."
She suddenly stilled in his arms. "Ching, you don't think all the tension and the danger and the obstacles…you don't think they've been what's kept our relationship interesting, do you?"
He laughed as he lowered his head to kiss her shoulder. "Being with you has been nothing if not eventful," he replied. "But it isn't why I love you. If we could have a quiet life together, nothing would make me happier. Whatever need for adventure I might have had as a younger man, believe me, I have outgrown it. But fortune has never intended to allow you a quiet life. All I've ever wanted is to be with you, it doesn't matter how."
"Tomorrow," she whispered. "It won't do for someone to notice if you spend the night in the First Ministers' compound."
"Technicality," he replied quietly as his lips wandered along her neck and up to her ear. "Tomorrow night it'll be my home, too."
Zara sighed softly and it was nearly his undoing. Fifteen years after he'd first fallen in love with her, she could still take his breath away. "It's a big day for everyone," she replied.
"Clark is finally getting to go home," Ching said.
"I never thought he would be here this long," she responded.
"He has given up so much for us. I just hope that he'll finally be free of this."
She turned around in his arms. "So do I."
********
He'd left Tao Scion's apartment hours earlier, but saw no reason to go back to the First Ministers' compound just yet. His one small bag had been packed. His last duties as First Minister had been discharged. Tomorrow morning he would abdicate, Zara and Ching would be married and he would go home. The High Council had already arranged some elaborate ceremony to mark his departure and there was no way around it. The people wanted to express their appreciation, everyone had told him.
Clark paced in the empty Council chamber. He'd sat through so many debates in this room – so many arguments about war and the potential for peace. Tomorrow, he would leave this planet and all of the responsibilities he'd borne. The war was over. The threat was gone. What the Kryptonians did to rebuild their lives and their society was now their task and theirs alone.
And he had to find a way to rebuild his own life. He had to figure out how to move past this place, and he couldn't yet. Not with the things still hanging over his head. It might have been too late, but he still had to try. He left the chambers at a walk, but soon, was running through the compound.
It was far too late for a social call, but he didn't care. He had exactly one chance to make this right. Breathless, he knocked on the door. He didn't have to wait long. Talan pulled the door open only seconds later. "Good evening, sir," she said guardedly. "Come in."
********
Talan walked back into her apartment, knowing the First Minister was following. "I wasn't sure you'd be here," Kal El said.
"I have a medal ceremony to preside over tomorrow," she said coolly. She sounded calmer than she actually was. In truth, she wanted to know why he was there because she didn't have the emotional wherewithal for another fight. It just wasn't in her.
"I am so sorry," he began. Talan turned to look at him and he looked up from the ground to make eye contact.
"Sir…"
He held up his hand, seemingly pleading with her to let him finish. "The things I said, they were unforgivable and they weren't true." She could hear a waver in his voice as he spoke.
"All is forgotten, sir," she replied softly.
He shook his head with a sad smile. "You always say that. You don't just forgive, you forget. You've been one of the greatest friends I've ever had. You were with me in every fight; you've saved my life I don't know how many times."
She looked into his dark brown eyes, glimmering with tears he would never let fall. And all she could see was the man in the wreckage of Silban, in the cold, dark pit of a collapsed building, holding a little boy in his arms, comforting a crying child. He would always be that man to her. A man who'd risked his life time and again for others, who had risked his life to save hers. "It's what friends do," she demurred.
"I'm going to miss you," he whispered harshly.
She closed her eyes as she pulled him into a fierce embrace. He hugged her back just as tightly. "I'm going to miss you, too," she whispered. How did you say goodbye to the man who'd saved your soul?
"You were right, you know," he said softly. "I lost sight of who I was. I'm not the man I should be."
Talan bit her lip. "That's not true and I shouldn't have said it."
"I needed to hear it," he replied. "I would have become a monster if it hadn't been for you. I would have killed him a long time ago if you hadn't stopped me."
She stepped back and took his hands in hers, ignoring the pang that sliced through her from the gesture. "I didn't stop you," she said. "You stopped yourself."
"No," he replied stridently, shaking his head. "You stopped me, you pulled me back, I would have killed him."
She gave him a tight lipped smile and watched as the hard expression on his face softened. "Sir, I might be tall, but you're a lot bigger and stronger than I am. I wouldn't have been able to stop you if you'd really wanted to do it."
Kal El closed his eyes and gave her a slight nod, but she didn't think he was convinced. "You're a good man, Clark," she said, finding the sound of his Earth name so odd to her ears, but he smiled so genuinely when she said it. "The best man I've ever known." She tried to ignore how much it hurt, but she was saying goodbye to him. She would never see him again and her only consolation was that she only needed to get through one more day of talking with him and being near him and pretending she wasn't in love with him.
********
Ching picked up the silver pin, shaped like the four pointed star of the House of Ra, inscribed within the circular shield of his own family's crest. He'd had the two combined; the Ra family was as responsible for the man he was as his own family had been. He placed the pin in the Mandarin collar of his black tunic. Ching picked up his silver-lined greatcoat and pulled it on. He took the two worn, thin envelopes from the table and tucked them into the coat's inner pocket. He'd carried these two letters around for nearly four years. One to Lois. One to the Kents. Tonight, once Clark was safely on his way home, he and Zara would both burn their copies—never opened, never read—and thank the fates that they'd never had to deliver them. There was a soft knock at his door. "Enter," he called out.
He turned around to see his soon to be mother-in-law enter the room. Mieren smiled at him. "Your mother and father would be so proud of you," she said. "We all are."
"It means so much to me that I have your blessings," he replied.
"You make Zara so happy and we are so glad that the two of you can finally be together. She has loved you for a very long time."
"As long as I've loved her." He frowned, deep in thought. "There has been so much tragedy, so many wounds that have not yet healed. Is it wrong that I'm so happy today?"
Mieren smiled and shook her head. "No, my boy, it isn't. Especially in a world as harsh as this one, we must find happiness wherever we can."
Ching smiled. Mieren used to call him 'my boy,' when he was younger. It didn't matter to her that he was a grown man and about to become leader of the world. She'd known him ever since he was a frightened young boy, lost in a confusing and terrifying world. She and Tek Ra had taken care of him, had shown him how to be a good man. "Thank you," he said softly.
"Come now, you don't want to be late to your own wedding," she said cheerfully. He offered Mieren his arm and they walked out of his quarters.
********
Clark watched the ceremony, solemn and dignified but for the grin Ching couldn't help but wear as he looked at his beloved. The Chief Jurist repeated the same rites he'd performed four years earlier when Clark and Zara had stood before him. Their divorce had been finalized but a few hours ago, in a process even simpler than this one. He looked at the gathered group, at Zara's proud family. Her mother and father watched together with her two brothers in their full military dress. Dek Ra stood beside his twin brother, their faces no longer identical. The scars on the one brother's face would never fully heal and they would never again be able to fool the unknowing by pretending to be each other.
In another quiet ceremony elsewhere in the administrative compound, Talan was bestowing the Order of the Guardians onto the heroes of the last battle. The past was being honored so the people of New Krypton could find their way forward. The last words were being written on the last page of these chapters of his life. By tonight, he'd be in a capsule, asleep and racing back to Earth.
The ceremony ended and Zara and Ching couldn't seem to stop smiling. They walked arm in arm out of the room, the guests following not far behind.
********
The largest assembly room on all of New Krypton was packed full of people – Councilors, jurists, representatives of all of the guilds in their formal robes, soldiers in full dress uniforms, and ordinary people all gathered to see their First Minister off. As one, they all stood when Clark walked alone into the hall. The room was whisper quiet, no one so much as breathed as he walked the aisle toward the front of the room. Toward the front of the hall, Lok Sim stood at the aisle, Enza sat in the wheelchair beside him, their dress uniforms decorated with citations for heroism and bravery. They both smiled at him as he walked past. In the very first row, Talan stood at attention, her expression serious except for a glimmer of softness in her gray eyes.
At the front of the assembly, Zara and Ching stood waiting for him. Zara gave him the slightest smile as she stepped forward. She bowed slightly and he did the same.
"Kal El, for your extraordinary courage and service to the people of New Krypton, we present to you the Order of the Guardians. You have sacrificed so much and given so much to our people. We cannot begin to express to you our eternal gratitude. You have our respect, our admiration, and our love. May fortune be with you." She placed the medal around his neck before he stood up straight. He smiled slightly at her as he clasped his hands in front of himself. "Thank you, Clark," she whispered.
"You have led with such extraordinary wisdom, with courage, and most especially, with grace," Ching said. "We have been blessed to have your guidance and your leadership and I am humbled to succeed you. If I can show one tenth the compassion and strength you have demonstrated, I will consider my administration a success. Kal El, you bring honor to the Houses of Lo and El, and to the Houses of Clark and Kent." Clark looked at him questioningly, but Ching only gave him an enigmatic half smile. "Last son of Krypton, favorite son of Earth, beloved leader of New Krypton, you are our servant no longer, but our brother forever."
He turned around to face the enormous crowd, still standing silently. His eye caught Talan's. She bowed, but did not stop there, falling to one knee, she genuflected deeply, her eyes lowered. The rest of the assembly, too, fell to its knees. He turned and looked over his shoulder; even Zara and Ching were kneeling. The most ordinary and the most powerful of Kryptonians knelt, side by side, all around him. He hadn't expected this. He'd expected just about anything but this. Clark stood there, surrounded by a sea of grateful people, unsure what to say or do. Taken aback by the outpouring of support, he was struck dumb. "Please, stand up," he said too softly. "Stand up, please," he repeated a little more loudly. "Thank you, all of you," he said as the crowd slowly rose to their feet. "Your appreciation and your kindness mean a lot to me. We've accomplished what we set out to do and it's time for me to go home. This world has every reason to be hopeful. It could ask for no better leaders than Zara and Ching. And I leave knowing that you will be able to build a better future and that the next generation of Kryptonians may know only peace."
********
A much smaller group assembled in the docking bay to see him off. Tao Scion finished checking the life support systems on the capsule and placed Clark's single, small bag in the ship. "It looks like everything is all set, young man," he announced.
"Thank you," Clark replied.
Tao Scion gave him a wavering smile, his blue eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "Safe travels, my friend," he whispered hoarsely. "Jor El and Lara would be so proud of you."
Clark blinked back stinging tears as he nodded. "May fortune be with you," Clark said as he hugged his old friend. He stepped back and looked at his lawyer and her family.
"I don't want you to go," Thia said plaintively.
"I know," he replied. "And I'm going to miss you so much."
"I'm going to miss you, too."
"I have something for you," he told Thia. She looked at him somewhat skeptically. He presented her with a globe. "It's a copy of the one from the library," he explained. "The one with my planet on it."
Thia took the softly glowing globe with both hands. "Thank you," she said with a voice so small he barely heard her.
Clark placed a hand on her shoulder as he dropped to one knee. "Can I have a hug?" he asked.
She hesitated for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. Clark closed his eyes and held the little girl tightly. "Be good and study hard," he whispered.
"All right," she replied quietly.
"That's my girl," he said with a sad smile as he stepped back.
Enza looked up at him from the wheelchair. "Safe journey, sir."
"Thank you, Commander," he replied as he took her uninjured hand. "For your counsel and your friendship."
"It's been an honor to serve, sir," she said with a solemn nod.
Clark looked at her husband and clapped his shoulder. "Take care of each other," he said, glancing from the young man to his wife.
"Of course," Lok Sim replied.
"And when you spar with Ching, don't pull your punches."
"I won't, sir," the younger man said with a smile.
Ching and Zara stepped toward him, holding hands. "Goodbye, Clark," Ching said. "And thank you, my friend. For everything."
"Yes, Clark, thank you for everything," Zara repeated. Her hand slipped from Ching's as she hugged Clark. "Thank Lois for us," she whispered. "And may fortune be with you."
Clark turned to kiss her cheek and smiled at the woman he loved like a sister. "Thank you." He glanced at Ching. "Be good to her," he said.
"I will, sir," Ching replied good naturedly.
"You can drop the 'sir,' now, Ching."
"As far as I'm concerned, you will always be the First Minister, sir," Ching responded.
"That goes for me as well," Talan added.
Clark turned to look at her. "Commander," he started, not sure what it was he wanted to say. He didn't know if there were words that could make sense of what it was he wanted her to know.
She gave him a tremulous smile. "May you know great joy and may all your burdens be easily borne. And may fortune be with you all the days of your life, sir." Talan closed her sharp gray eyes and bowed deeply.
"Thank you," he said quietly, feeling tears prick at his eyes. "It's not enough; I just don't know what else to say."
"I know exactly what you mean, sir."
"Goodbye, everyone," he said with a tight-lipped smile. Tao Scion led him to the capsule. Clark climbed into the passenger compartment.
The old physician injected something into his arm. "You'll sleep the entire way," Tao Scion said kindly. A pair of mechanics sealed the hatch to the passenger compartment. He was already starting to feel dizzy and drowsy. Before the metal plated cover was placed over the hatch, his eyes were already closed. This was it. When he woke, he'd be home. He just had to drift to sleep and dream of Lois until he woke up. He could feel the ship start to rumble, but he barely noticed it.
'I'm coming home,' he thought, just before he drifted to sleep.
