Hello all! Well I said Friday or Sunday, right? I picked Friday. <g> Andreia was threatening with chainsaws so I thought I'd oblige.
I need to stop here and give a shout of thanks again to my betas. Sue has been so wonderful to keep beta reading for me even in the middle of all the stuff she's been dealing with <hugs> And I have a new beta reader on board, Laramoon graciously volunteered to beta for me <poor thing> and she's done a bang up job so far. I'm so grateful to them both - you have no idea how indispensable you guys are. Really... you make me look good. <g>
Okay, and now on with part 7:
Table of Contents From Part 6:
Lois stood there still gaping at him. Then she quietly walked over to him and promptly slapped him in the face. Clark reeled from the pain in even that small action – both physically and emotionally.
“How dare you,” she said, her voice low and steady, but brimming with emotion. “I did what I did to help you, you dim-witted, thick-sculled... Kryp...” Lois wasn’t sure what the term for his people would be, but she tried again anyway, “Kryp..tonian! Because I... care about you.”
She walked away from him and went up the stairs towards his front door. “Goodbye, Clark,” she said quietly. “I hope you get better in Kansas.”
And before Clark could even think of what to say, she had slammed his door shut behind her. “Wait, Lois!” he called out. Why had he been so harsh? He made his way slowly up to the door, cringing with each step that he climbed. He opened the door wide and shouted after her, “Lois!”
But she didn’t answer and she didn’t come back. He shut his door and leaned his forehead against it, taking a couple of deep breaths to stave off the pain in his side. His heart stung with her words and what she had called him.
How far her hero had fallen in her eyes.
**********
PART SEVEN
**********
After meandering aimlessly the sidewalks between Clark’s apartment and hers, Lois finally made her way home. She wanted to just fling herself onto her bed and have a good cry. The problem was that she didn’t have a bed. She didn’t even have a couch. So she did the next best thing. She opened her freezer to look for some ice cream.
The empty freezer mocked her and she slammed the door. Why had she thrown out that last carton of ice cream?
Because you thought you were moving, she reminded herself. And actually she was moving, whether she wanted to or not. That thought threatened to set loose the impending deluge of tears and Lois began to hunt frantically for a piece of chocolate to calm her nerves. After checking every drawer and cabinet – already knowing that she wasn’t going to find any – she hunted through her purse. She managed to find a couple of those little after-dinner mints that she had gotten at a restaurant – the kind dipped in chocolate.
She unwrapped one of the delicacies and slipped it into her mouth. She let it melt slowly against her tongue, permeating her senses with the sweet chocolate and fresh mint. It gave her the small endorphin rush she had been looking for and she managed to hold back the tears that had been threatening. She had cried too many tears too often over the past couple of days. It was time to get herself under control and get her life back.
Lois crinkled the wrapper into a tiny ball and went to throw it away in the kitchen. As she walked past her answering machine, she noticed that the light was blinking. She stopped and considered it for a moment. She knew it was probably Clark and part of her just wanted to unplug the thing and throw it in the trash. But she didn’t. She pressed the button.
“You have... three... new messages,” the synthetic voice told her. “Message one:”
“Lois? It’s Clark. I...” She could hear his audible sigh. “We need to talk. Give me a call back.”
“Fat chance,” she answered him.
“Message two:”
“I went ahead and booked a flight to Kansas.” It was Clark’s voice again. “We’re flying out tomorrow morning. The flight leaves at nine-fifty. Lois, I don’t want to leave with things like this. Please, call me.”
He was leaving tomorrow? He said he wasn’t leaving for a couple of days – obviously he had changed his mind. How could he even think of flying in his condition? Oh, wait, she forgot, he was Superman – powers or not. She rolled her eyes and then glanced down at her watch. It had been a little over an hour ago that she had left Clark’s apartment. Would all three messages be from him?
“Message three:”
“It’s me again. Obviously you aren’t going to talk to me. I just wanted to call back to tell you goodbye. And to tell you that you’re still welcome to use my apartment while I’m gone. It’s going to be sitting empty and there’s no reason for you to waste money on a hotel. I’ll leave a key for you under the mat. I wish... I’m...” There was a sigh and then, “Goodbye, Lois.”
She suddenly wished there were four messages. Obviously he didn’t mean to call back after that last one. Lois fidgeted a little and looked up at her front door. She didn’t really want him to leave like this. She didn’t want him to leave period.
But this was his fault. He had overreacted. It wasn’t like people didn’t know about Kryptonite. After their run-in with Trask they had written an article about it for heaven’s sake. She hadn’t believed Kryptonite was actually real, and that’s the slant she had put on the article. She had told Perry and Clark that she wasn’t sure whether or not the mysterious rock even existed anywhere except in Trask’s mind.
But it was real. It was a genuine threat. And not just to Superman but, as it turned out, also to her friend and partner. She looked back down at the answering machine. Had she been wrong to contact Klein?
No.
She probably should have talked to Clark about it first... okay, she definitely should have talked to him first, but she stood behind her decision. What good would it have done to just destroy that chunk when there was still some out there and the possibility that more could be manufactured?
But Clark didn’t know that...
In her anger, Lois had forgotten to tell Clark about the experiments and the other samples in the lab. How could he possibly have understood the validity of what she had done? He didn’t even really know why she had done it.
She massaged her forehead with one hand. How many times would she keep messing things up? She might be hurt and angry with Clark for what he had said to her, but the truth was, he was still ahead of her if anyone was keeping score. She didn’t even want to think about how awful she had treated him over the past year. Not to mention the day that he poured his feelings out to her and she had dismissed him so flippantly...
Lois grabbed her purse, dropping the forgotten candy wrapper on her desk next to the answering machine. She picked up the Series K file she had taken from Lex’s office off of the counter and headed out the door.
She owed him a better goodbye than what she had given him.
**********
Clark felt horrible - and not just physically. His side was aching something awful. He had painkillers that the nurse had sent home with him, but the ones they’d given him at the hospital had knocked him completely out. So he was a little afraid to try any meds again since he wasn’t quite sure how they would react with his...
His mind flashed back to what Lois had said --
‘Kryptonian’... his *alien* biology.
Even if he never regained his powers and ended up being just like every other man – he wouldn’t ever be ‘normal’.
<If you had no powers, if you were just an ordinary man leading an ordinary life, I’d love you just the same. Can’t you believe that?>
Clark wanted to cry at the irony. Lois would have never said that she loved him if she had known the ordinary man inside him was Clark.
A noise outside brought him out of his thoughts and he glanced up at the door. Maybe his parents were back. They had wanted to give him plenty of time with Lois – little had they known her visit would be short.
When the door didn’t open, he tried to reach out with his hearing to see if he could pick up any noises outside.
Nothing. He wasn’t sure if he really couldn’t hear anything or if there just wasn’t anything to hear. He pulled his glasses down and concentrated on the door. He caught just a fraction of a glimpse of his front porch but then he was staring at the inside of his front door again.
His powers were there, but they definitely hadn’t come back yet.
Feeling like he was going to go a little stir crazy waiting for his parents to come back, Clark decided to get up from the couch and at least go outside on his balcony to get some fresh air.
After a few seconds of painful exertion, he was standing. He wondered how long it would be before he could stand up without feeling like someone was stabbing him in the side. Truthfully, he wasn’t really supposed to be up and around yet. The doctor hadn’t agreed with Clark checking out of the hospital so soon and he had told Clark that he should stick to bed rest for several days.
But the doctor didn’t realize that was like asking Superman not to fly. Clark had already lost his powers and was grounded. He couldn’t stand the thought of being confined to a bed for several days on top of that. Although if he didn’t slow down, he’d probably end up overdoing it. Then he’d feel even worse... if that were possible.
He slowly and carefully made his way to the balcony door. When he reached out to pull on the heavy door, a sharp pain in his side brought him to his knees. He clenched his eyes shut against the pain and a muffled cry escaped his lips before he sank down to sit on the floor. He leaned his head back against the door’s cool metal surface and took a few shallow breaths.
Clark opened his eyes when he heard a knock at the front door. Probably his parents. “Come in,” he tried to yell, but it came out as more of a strangled moan.
“Clark?”
It was Lois! Clark immediately began trying to pick himself up from the floor when she swung the front door open and came inside. Her eyes went wide when she saw him on the floor on his hands and knees.
“Clark! What happened?” She rushed down the stairs - dropping something on his couch as she passed it - and knelt down beside him.
“I had a little mishap,” he said lamely.
“What were you even doing up?” she scolded him, putting her arms awkwardly around him and trying to help him up.
“I wanted to get some fresh air,” he answered once he was standing again. He let out a surprised gasp when Lois lifted the edge of his shirt and carefully peeled back his bandage, exposing his stitches. “Lois, what are you doing?”
She ignored him and he could feel her soft fingertips gently probing the skin around his wound. “I’m checking to make sure you haven’t popped any stitches.”
Clark pulled away from her. “I’m fine.”
He was sulking and Lois had to bite her tongue so she didn’t say something she’d regret later. “You’re not fine, Clark. I came in and found you on the floor, holding your side in pain. Now let me look.”
She laid one hand against his stomach to steady herself as she leaned in to take a better look. Clark’s skin seemed to come to life at her touch. He could feel the warmth of her palm where it lay pressed against his skin and it was sweet torture. Then her thumb pulled against the skin next to his stitches and it *was* torture.
“Ouch,” he complained.
She lowered his shirt back down and hid a grimace. The bruises around his stitches were a deep purple and looked mean. A pang of sympathy flowed through her.
This was your fault, her mind rebuked her. Her heart twinged with guilt and she kept her eyes on his side, unable to look him in the face. “Everything looks okay but I should probably wipe it with some peroxide or alcohol just in case I had any germs on my hands. Do you think you could get sick from a human germ?”
What she had said had been innocent enough, but it hurt an already open wound in his heart. “I’m not human, remember?” He sighed. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
“But I do worry about you, Clark,” she laid one hand on his arm. “You’ve got to be more careful. You don’t want to have to go back to the hospital because you’re bleeding from trying to do too much. Who knows what problems that would cause?”
“Don’t worry, Lois. I won’t be your problem after today,” he said sullenly, turning away from her.
She hadn’t come here to fight but she couldn’t stand his petulant attitude, as if he didn’t think she cared. “But you *are* my problem, Clark. This was my fault.”
Clark turned to look at her and was surprised to see the emotion in her face. It softened him and he sighed quietly, “No, it wasn’t.”
“Yes, it was.” Her voice was tinged with guilt. “If I hadn’t been fooled by Lex and had seen him for who he really was this never would have happened. I’m sorry, Clark. I really am. I told you in the hospital while you were still out that you needed to wake up so you could hear me say that I had been wrong. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, you know.” She gave him a small grin as she reached up and touched his cheek softly with one hand. “I am sorry. I was wrong. About a lot of things.”
Clark was completely speechless as he watched Lois close the distance between them and wrap her arms around him. She hugged him gently and whispered in his ear, “And I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Before Clark could recover and have the opportunity to hug her in return, she pulled away from him. He almost reminded her that he wasn’t okay. But he knew what she meant. Things could have been so much worse. He was fortunate that he hadn’t died inside that Kryptonite cage.
Lois walked back to his couch, wiping under her eyes, and picked up what she had laid there – it was a folder. “I brought something with me that I wanted to show you. It might help explain why I did what I did.”
**********
Lois and Clark sat quietly on his couch while he thought about everything she had said and flipped through the contents of the folder she had handed him. After a few moments, he finally spoke, “Would you do something for me?” he asked, closing the folder.
“Anything.” Lois held her breath hoping that he would tell her he was willing to give Dr. Klein a blood sample. What he said instead caught her off guard.
“Hold on to this file for me and don’t say anything about it to my parents.” He held the file out to her.
Lois raised an eyebrow as she took it from him. “Clark, why? Why wouldn’t you want to tell...”
“Because it will just upset them,” he said, looking tired. “They were hoping that when you went to LexCorp you were able to destroy that last piece of Kryptonite. They were still worried that there might be more of it out there somewhere, undiscovered, but to tell them that Lex had been experimenting on it...” He shook his head. “No, I don’t want them to have to worry like that.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want,” she said, unable to hide the doubt in her voice. “But somehow I don’t think your parents will feel that ignorance is bliss. I think they would want to know.”
“You’re probably right, but it’s my choice and I’d rather they had peace of mind. They’re already concerned enough that my powers haven’t come back yet.” He reached up and ran one hand through his hair in an exasperated motion.
“Still nothing?” she asked softly.
He shook his head.
“Well that’s why I think you should meet with Dr. Klein. Give him that blood sample while you’re still vulnerable. He could work on a way to fight the Kryptonite, and maybe he could determine how fast your powers...”
“No, Lois,” Clark’s voice was firm and resolute – it was his ‘Superman voice’. “I don’t want to be experimented on like some kind of lab rat. I understand why you did what you did, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.”
“But it wouldn’t be like that!” she protested. “Dr. Klein is trying to help you...”
“Yeah, and in the process he stands to help himself quite a bit. The first physician to study Superman’s biology.” He scowled and turned away from her, a far off look in his eyes. “The way they buy and sell Superman on every street corner, I don’t even want to think about what would be for sale if I whore myself out to some doctor for research.”
“But...”
“No, I said! Don’t ask me again.” Clark was flabbergasted by her insistence. Was it so hard to understand that he didn’t want to be dissected like some frog? That he didn’t want to be tested and experimented on? That he didn’t want yet another reminder of how different he was?
Lois was startled by his reaction and it halted any further protests that were forming in her mind. He wasn’t going to do this – end of discussion, negotiations closed. It made her angry. Why did all men have to be so ridiculous when it came to doctors? Every man she had ever known, it was like pulling teeth to get them to visit a doctor. She sighed in frustration... but not in failure. She’d talk to him about it again, but she had pushed him as far as she could for now – at least without making him mad. And she didn’t want this goodbye to be like the last one.
Assuming he was still going to say goodbye.
“So you’re really going to Kansas?” she asked softly.
“Yes, it will put my parents’ minds at ease, and it’s so quiet and peaceful on the farm...” He gave her a small smile. “It will be the perfect place for me to rest and take it easy while I recuperate. With the Daily Planet gone and me out of work, there’s nothing to keep me here right now.” Nothing but you, he added silently.
Lois’s breath caught in her chest. There was nothing to keep him here. Not even her. She didn’t let him see how his words had affected her and instead chose to redirect her feelings in a different way. She’d argue with him. “But Perry is working on getting the Planet rebuilt. He’s going to need our help.”
“The Chief doesn’t need my help. If anyone can restore the Daily Planet, it’s Perry.” He leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on top of his clasped hands.
Lois was about to argue when she realized he had a pained look on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He sat back up, wincing.
She crossed her arms and fixed him with a stare. “Nothing? Come on, Clark. Is something hurting?”
He sighed. “It’s my back.” He gave her a sheepish grin. “I guess I’m still new to this whole pain thing.”
“It’s no fun, is it?” She patted his arm with one hand. “Here, turn sideways and I’ll rub it for you. Clark looked like he wanted to protest, but then he obediently turned to give her access.
“Thank you, Lois, but you don’t have to do...” He broke off as her hands began kneading into the muscles of his shoulders, working the tightness out of them. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced – it felt so good. He’d never hurt like this before and the relief her hands and fingers were providing was amazing. “God, that feels good.”
Lois smiled, pleased with herself. She moved her hands lower, kneading the flesh through his shirt as she went. It would be more effective if he didn’t have a shirt on, but she was too embarrassed to ask him to take it off.
Clark wished he could get away with taking his shirt off. If her ministrations felt this good fully clothed, he couldn’t imagine how it would feel skin on skin. His mind flashed back to her fingertips on his stomach and swallowed unconsciously. No, that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she answered, enjoying the way his body was responding to her efforts. “That’s what you do when you care for someone. You help them. You try to make things better.”
Clark didn’t miss the underlying meaning in her words. “Is that why you’re doing this? Because you care for me?”
Her hands stopped and she turned and leaned forward so she could look into his face. “You know I do,” she said earnestly.
“Do I? You told me just a few short weeks ago that you didn’t share my feelings. Then you told Superman that you’d love him even if he was an ordinary guy – but you didn’t love the ‘ordinary guy’.” He looked away from her sadly and glanced down at his lap. “You already told him that you didn’t.”
“Clark, you don’t understand, I...”
“No, Lois,” he interrupted, his voice heavy. “I understand perfectly. You were in love with your hero, with Superman. It’s just that I don’t want that kind of love. Superman isn’t who I am. He’s a big part of me, but he’s just the disguise I use so I can help people and still have a semi-normal life... still be Clark. But you aren’t in love with Clark,” he finished sadly.
“Clark, I know what I said, but...” She was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Clark?” It was Martha’s voice.
“Come on in,” Clark answered.
Lois grimaced. What bad timing. She guessed she’d just have to save pouring her feelings out to him for another day. But when? He was leaving for Kansas tomorrow.
Martha came through the door and her eyebrows went up in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry. We didn’t think you’d still be here, Lois.”
“You were waiting for me to leave? Oh, Martha, you shouldn’t have done that!” Lois protested.
“Nonsense. Clark didn’t have any food in his fridge and Jonathan and I needed to grab something to eat,” Martha explained as Jonathan came through the door behind her.
Lois pulled her attention from the door and looked back into Clark’s face. He was watching her, and she was amazed by the emotion she saw in his face. “We’re not done yet,” she told him softly. “We need to talk.”
He nodded at her. “We will,” he promised, his voice low and quiet. “As soon as I get back. I think right now what both of us need is just a little time to think and figure things out.”
Lois wanted to shout that she didn’t need time to think, but while she was prone to outbursts around Clark, she was more reserved around his parents. So she simply nodded sadly. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“It is,” he assured her. “And I also want you to stay here while I’m gone. I mean it. You don’t have anywhere to go and there’s no reason you should waste your money staying in a hotel until your apartment opens up.”
“I don’t know...”
“Please? I would feel better knowing you were here.” And that was true. He wasn’t sure why, but the thought of her staying here, at his apartment... it just made him feel better about leaving.
Lois fidgeted. She had taken advantage of Clark enough in the past; she wasn’t about to do it again. She searched his face looking for the truth, but the truth was staring her in the face. He wasn’t just being nice – although Clark was probably one of the nicest persons she had ever met - he really did want her to stay here. “Okay.” She nodded.
He looked relieved and gave her a small smile. “Just no late night parties, okay?”
Lois couldn’t help herself and she laughed softly. “I don’t think I can live under such harsh rules. I was planning to talk to Jimmy about hosting an all night rave next week.”
Clark chuckled. “That reminds me, I don’t know how to contact Jimmy or Jack. Or Perry for that matter. They were staying here before the...” He broke off not wanting to remind her about the wedding. “Anyway, they weren’t here when I got home...”
“Perry didn’t want the three of them hanging around when you got back from the hospital, so he checked them into a hotel for now – until he gets things sorted out with the Planet.” She paused, realizing what Clark wanted. “I can tell them goodbye for you. I’ll get a phone number for Perry. I’ll be keeping in touch with you, and I’ll get the number to you, okay?”
“Thanks, Lois, I appreciate it.”
“Sure.” Lois shifted uncomfortably, realizing that it was probably time for her to go but not wanting to. How could Clark leave and go to Kansas? She had worked with him every day for almost a year. The past few weeks without seeing him had been awful.
She sighed and looked over in the direction of the balcony. Martha and Jonathan had long since slipped quietly from the living room and out the door to the balcony. Lois decided to go say goodbye to them first and she stood up from the couch.
“Where are you going?” Clark asked, not looking like he was thrilled about the thought of getting up to follow her.
“Just stay put,” she said, gesturing for him to remain sitting. “I’m going to say goodbye to your parents. I’ll be right back.” She walked over to the balcony door and opened it. Martha and Jonathan were standing next to the railing, looking down on the street below.
“Um... hi,” she said, feeling awkward.
They both turned to look at her and smiled.
“I’m going to leave so Clark can get some rest,” she continued. “I guess you guys have a busy day tomorrow.”
“Busy day?” Martha asked, frowning.
Lois realized that since Martha and Jonathan had been gone all afternoon, they didn’t know yet. “Yeah, Clark booked your flights back to Kansas for tomorrow morning.”
“Oh? We thought he wanted to stay a couple of days...”
“Yeah. Me too.” Lois felt her voice trying to waver and she fought to control it. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you both goodbye.”
Martha walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you for what you’ve done for Clark. He’s fortunate to have a friend like you.”
Lois cringed guiltily as she returned Martha’s hug, wondering if Martha would feel that way if she knew what Lois had done. But Clark had asked Lois not to mention it, so he obviously wasn’t going to say anything either. “That’s how I feel about him. I know you’ll take good care of him, but don’t let him forget to call me and let me know how he’s doing.”
Martha nodded. “I will.”
Jonathan stepped up and gave her a hug of his own. “You really need to come back and visit us again soon. I promise I won’t wear a dress while you’re there.”
Lois giggled. “I’m never gonna live that one down.”
They all shared a laugh and Lois told them goodbye before she walked back inside the house. Clark was still sitting on the couch – watching the door expectantly. As Lois came towards him, he stood up with some difficulty.
“No, Clark, you don’t need to get up,” she protested.
“Yes, I do.” When she got close enough he enclosed her in his arms. “Otherwise I couldn’t do this.”
“Oh.” She tentatively slid her arms around him and held him for a moment. “Don’t stay gone too long, okay?” The longer she held him, the more she wanted to continue holding him. Why did he have to leave?
“Don’t worry. You won’t even miss me,” he teased her. “You’ll be too busy moving.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’ll miss you. I could have roped you into helping me,” she joked back. Standing there with his arms wrapped around her, she wished the moment wouldn’t end. His embrace was so strong and sure, yet so tender and caring. She wished she could ask him to stay but that wouldn’t be fair, and she wasn’t entirely sure he’d stay even if she asked him to. And she didn’t want to risk having to face rejection. “Call me tomorrow when you get to Smallville, okay?” she asked instead, pulling away to look up at him.
Clark didn’t want to let her go. She felt so right in his arms. Her body was so soft and yielding, pressed against him. He could sense the strength inside of her but could also feel her fragility and uncertainty. For just a moment he had been able to pretend that she felt more for him, for Clark, than just friendship. “I will,” he promised.
She nodded and released him from her arms, stepping back out of his. “I guess I should get going so you can pack.”
“Lois...”
“I’ll be waiting for your call tomorrow,” she said as she walked up the steps to his front door.
“Lois...”
“Please, Clark, I can’t do long goodbyes. I’ll talk to you soon.” She opened his door. “Goodbye.”
And then she was gone.
“Goodbye,” Clark whispered after her and then wondered again why he had decided to go to Kansas.
**********
To Be Continued...
