Acknowledgements: More beta thanks to the very wonderful Sara Kraft! smile Also, I did some pilfering in this part – you’ll know it when you see it – from Season 3’s “Big Girls Don’t Fly,” written by Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner.

From Part 2:

But there had been a moment there in that restroom when he had thought about how many times he had spun in and out of that suit. How many places he had ducked into as Clark Kent and dashed out of as Superman, and vice versa. For just a moment, he felt a whisper of... something. It wasn’t quite regret. He wasn’t sure what it was. But it hit him as he spun out of that suit that he’d just set something in motion – something momentous that would change his life, and Lois’s, and perhaps even the course of history. He had thought of all that before, of course – had stayed up half the night thinking about it – but it hadn’t seemed real until he’d spun out of that red and blue suit and realized that he might only do that a few more times, and then never again. It didn’t feel like a death – not in the same way that packing up Clark Kent had – but it felt like an ending.

But it was a beginning, too, he reminded himself, as he exited the building and turned toward the Daily Planet. Not only was he beginning something with Lois, but he had just taken the first steps toward forming a foundation that would continue Superman’s work long after he was gone. His life would be different without the suit, but it would be a change for the better. The world would be different without Superman in the skies and on the streets, but it had gotten along without Superman before, and it could do it again. In the meantime, Clark Kent would help where he could – surreptitiously with his powers, sometimes, and always with his pen and his partner.

It would be enough, he told himself firmly, and then he turned his attention to his date with Lois that night.

Part 3:

Walking into the Daily Planet that day had an exhilarating first-day-of-the-rest-of-his-life feel to it. He and Lois were taking the next step. They had an understanding. They hadn’t spelled it out in so many words, but everything felt more settled now, and he knew the days of wondering if she would ever be his were over. Granted, for two more days, he’d have to juggle Clark Kent and Superman, but as of Friday, he’d be completely free. Just thinking about it filled him with a nervous excitement, like the feeling he’d had when he graduated from college and set out to see the world. In leaving Superman behind, he was embarking on a new life filled with new possibilities.

As always, he looked for Lois as he stepped off the elevator, and he found her at her desk. She was frowning into her computer screen, little lines creasing her forehead, and she so captivated him that the rest of the busy newsroom seemed like nothing more than an elaborate backdrop. Without trying – without even noticing him – she seemed to draw him straight to her side.

“Morning,” he greeted her, making an effort to sound just as he always did. His face was giving him away, however, and he knew it. The feelings he’d kept hidden in his heart for nearly two years were finally out in the open and acknowledged, and he felt like he had “Clark Kent loves Lois Lane” tattooed on his forehead for the entire office to see.

“Morning,” Lois answered, turning away from her computer, and though it was obvious that she, too, was trying to keep things professional at the office, the little creases in her forehead were smoothed away at the sight of him, and there was a softness in her voice and a sparkle in her eyes as she greeted him that told him she was feeling the same way he did. “Where’ve you been?”

For once, he was able to manage a truthful answer to that question. Or at least a half-truthful answer, which was still considerably better than his usual efforts. “I had an appointment with Constance Hunter. I had a couple of questions for her about the copycat lawsuits against Superman. She seems to think that most of them will be dismissed.”

“Well they’d better be! Every last one of them is ridiculous.”

He smiled. Now that he knew Clark was her choice, he found her vehement defense of Superman heartening, rather than threatening. “You won’t get any argument from me,” he told her, leaning against her desk. “So what else have we got on for today?”

“Not too much. They got an indictment against Middleton, and I thought I’d follow up on that.”

“Doesn’t sound like a two-person job.”

“Not really,” she said, sounding sorry.

“I’m meeting Mom and Dad for lunch, but they’re flying back this afternoon. Can we have dinner tonight?” It occurred to him that he’d assumed they would see one another that night, but he hadn’t actually asked.

She gave him a coy look. “Like a date?”

He chuckled. “I certainly hope so.”

“With wine?” She batted her eyes at him.

“Absolutely.”

“And dancing?” Her lips curved in a secret smile.

“If you want to.”

“And kissing?” She lifted her face to his invitingly.

He leaned toward her, enchanted with this little bit of office flirtation, enchanted with her. “Definitely kissing,” he murmured.

She pretended to think it over. “Nah,” she said finally, pulling away from him. “I’m kinda busy.”

He tsked and shook his head. “Well, I had my heart set on some kissing. Guess I’ll just have to find someone else. Let’s see…” He craned his neck, pretending to look around the newsroom.

She grabbed his tie and tugged him closer, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t even think about it, Farmboy.”

He grinned at her. “Does the fact that you’re choking me to death mean that your schedule is opening up?”

“I might be able to rearrange some things,” she said grudgingly, releasing his tie and smoothing it into place with one hand.

“I’m glad.” He leaned in and let his lips brush over hers. “Because you’re the only woman I have any intention of kissing.”

She looked pleased and slid one hand behind his neck to draw him back down for another quick kiss. “Good,” she murmured. “What time are you picking me up?”

“Actually...why don’t you come to my place? I’ll cook for you.”

“Mmm. I like the sound of that. But what about the dancing?”

“Leave it to me,” he promised, his heart racing at the thought of dancing with Lois in the privacy of his apartment. He imagined them moving together by candlelight, trading slow kisses to soft music, and for a moment their eyes met and desire leapt like a flame between them. Oh, yes, he thought. There would definitely be dancing.

“What do you two think you’re doin’?” Perry bellowed suddenly, making them both jump. “Does this look like the balcony of a movie theater?” He stood in front of them, hands on his hips – a portrait of editorial crankiness.

“Sorry, Chief,” Clark said, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. His eyes slid to Lois’s, and she smiled back, looking every bit as unrepentant as he did.

“Let’s just try to keep it professional around here,” Perry said gruffly. When that didn’t succeed in wiping the smiles from their faces, he rolled his eyes and gave up. “Clark, what are you working on today?”

“Not a thing so far. Got something for me?”

“Maybe. Come into my office. I’ve got a couple of features that could use your touch.”

“Sure, Chief.” He glanced at Lois and saw that she was making a face at the word ‘features.’ He laughed and gave her a little wave and then followed Perry into his office.

By the time he came out again, Lois was gone – out on her story, he presumed – so he began making preliminary notes for one of the assignments Perry had given him. Since they were features rather than hard news stories, he wasn’t racing against the clock, and he found his mind wandering again and again away from his notes.

Mostly, his mind wandered to Lois and the way she’d felt in his arms the night before. Finally acknowledging their feelings for one another had seemed to break down so many barriers – even the ones that had existed in his own mind. He’d always been a little afraid to let himself hope before, for fear of being crushed by disappointment if she were never his. The agony of watching her almost marry Lex Luthor had never left him, and he wasn’t sure his heart would survive something like that again. So he had been cautious in his hopes, cautious in his expectations, but now the time for caution was over, and he could let himself imagine a future with the woman he loved. Each day would bring new intimacies; each day they would know and understand one another a little better, he thought with satisfaction.

Around mid-morning, his phone rang, startling him out of yet another daydream.

“Clark Kent,” he said automatically.

“Mr. Kent, this is Constance Hunter. I represent Superman.”

“Of course,” Clark said warmly. “He told me you might be calling. Congratulations, by the way. I was very pleased to see the Dregg case dismissed.”

“Well, I’m not sure I had much to do with that,” Constance said. “As I told Superman, saving the judge’s life tends to make him lenient.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” Clark said honestly.

“Well… thank you.” Her tone was awkward, as if she were unused to receiving compliments. She hurried on to the point of her call, clearly wanting to change the subject. “Anyway, Mr. Kent… did Superman tell you why I would be calling?”

“Please call me Clark. And, yes. He told me he was interested in starting a foundation and that you’d be asking me to serve on the board. Of course I’ll be happy to.”

“Well, great,” she said, laughing a little. “It sounds like he must have seen you right after he saw me.” Clark felt himself tense at that observation, but she went right on. “That certainly makes my job easier. I’m going to try to make contact with some of the other potential board members he and I discussed, and I’d like to set up a first meeting as soon as next week. Is there a particular day that works best with your schedule?”

“Um…” Clark flipped through his appointment book. “Our editor holds a story meeting every Monday morning, but it doesn’t look like I have anything else on my schedule that couldn’t be rearranged. Whenever you can set it up, I’ll make a point of being there.”

“Great,” she said. “Thanks, Clark. I’ll look forward to meeting you.”

“You, too, Constance.” Her first name sprang to his lips naturally for the first time. Superman couldn’t unbend enough to call her that, but Clark could.

With another word or two of farewell, they hung up, and Clark was left staring pensively at the phone, feeling uneasy.

Why had he told her he’d already spoken to Superman?

How many times had he used that one, he wondered. How many times had he explained away some bit of information by saying that he’d ‘talked to Superman?’ Each day it got more complicated, more confusing. Superman knew this, but Clark knew that. Superman had been here, while Clark had been there. He’d become a master of compartmentalization these last two years, but always there was the dread, coiled tight as a spring in his gut, that he was going to say or do something wrong. Something he couldn’t explain away. Something that was going to expose his double life and put his friends and family in danger. For two years he’d walked that tightrope and woven his own safety net of lies.

He hadn’t needed to lie to Constance Hunter when she called. That was the thing that had struck him most forcefully as he hung up his phone. What would it have cost him to let her give him her spiel about the Superman Foundation? Five minutes at most? Was he trying to save her the trouble of telling him or himself the trouble of listening to her? Either way, it didn’t make any sense. It was one thing to justify lying to protect his family, but he was lying out of sheer habit now. Anytime Superman’s name came up, it seemed, Clark spun another lie.

What would it be like not to have to do that anymore, he wondered? What would it be like to go a whole day without telling a single lie to his boss, to his co-workers, to the woman he loved? He wanted that, he thought fiercely. Wanted it with a greed he hadn’t known he was capable of feeling. He was like a child with his face pressed against a shop window, desperately wishing for what he saw inside. He could imagine that life; it was almost near enough to touch. And in two days, it would be his.

The reality of that was settling over him like a warm blanket on a cold night. He wanted to wrap himself up in it, to let himself relax into it, but he couldn’t – not yet. Constance Hunter’s call reminded him that there were still things he needed to do. Until he made his announcement on Friday morning, he would still have to be Superman, for one thing. He would not break his promise to Lois – he would never, ever run away from her again – but so long as leaving Lois wasn’t involved, he would go where Superman was needed up until he told the world he was leaving for good.

And he needed to work on that, too, he realized. It was a slow news day and Lois was out of the office, so there was nothing to keep him from working on the press release announcing Superman’s ‘retirement.’

He set his story notes aside, opened a new document on his computer, and then glanced over his shoulder, feeling ridiculously paranoid as he did so. No one was near enough to read his computer screen, and no one would have the slightest reason to be interested, even if they could. He felt like there should be a brass band playing and fireworks exploding over his workstation, given the momentousness of the thing he was doing, but instead, there was just the usual hum of the newsroom and the usual people bustling back and forth, paying no attention at all to the mundane sight of Clark Kent working at his computer.

He paused for a moment as he started, wondering who he should list as a contact for the story. The author of the release would be gone, and he had no intention of leaving a forwarding address. He certainly wasn’t going to put Clark Kent’s name as a contact, and asking Lois to do it was unthinkable. He decided that he would just type up his statement, read it aloud at the press conference, and then leave it behind for members of the press, so that hopefully he wouldn’t be misquoted. He would leave further contact information blank. With that decided, he began to type:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


Superman Announces Departure

(METROPOLIS, New Troy – April 17, 1995) - I come before you today to announce that I am being called away to other work and, in fact, to another life. I come before you to announce that, as of today, there will be no more Superman.

I came to Metropolis two years ago because I wanted to help, and I hope that I’ve done that. I’ve tried my best to use my powers for good, to fight for truth and justice, to make the city of Metropolis just a little bit safer, a little bit more peaceful than it would have been otherwise. I have enjoyed my time here and have been proud to call Metropolis home, proud to call the planet Earth my home. I am now needed elsewhere, however, and must bid you goodbye.

I know you have questions, and most of these I am not able to answer. I cannot tell you where I am going or how I will get there. I cannot tell you what I will be doing.

I can tell you, however, that I have taken steps to ensure that the work I began on this planet will go on. My attorney, Constance Hunter, is in the early stages of establishing a working foundation in my name. All profits from Superman-themed merchandising have gone toward the foundation, but until now, it has not been an organized effort. Ms. Hunter is changing all of that, and I’m very excited about the possibilities. The Superman Foundation will continue the work I have started here on Earth, and I am very proud to have my name associated with it.

Please know that wherever I am, I'll carry the best of Earth with me. I ask each one of you to look to yourselves for the strength, decency, and compassion that I know you have inside. Emerson said self-trust is the essence of heroism. Inside each of you is a hero, and so I leave, knowing that a world full of heroes has nothing to fear.

###


Clark’s heart was pounding as he read over what he’d written. Like his conversation with Constance that morning, seeing those words marching across the page seemed to make his decision that much more real. It felt like he was lining up dominoes one after another, until that final moment when he would give them the push that would send them tumbling into one another and end it all.

Those words were a tapestry of the vague half-truths that had become a staple of his life over the past two years. On Friday he would wear Superman’s suit for the last time as he read those half-truths aloud to a crowd full of reporters. And then he would fly away to freedom.

Some impulse he preferred not to analyze made him leave his desk then and head to the roof of the Daily Planet. He spun into the red and blue suit and lifted off slowly, taking a moment to look out over the city. He’d come home to Metropolis when he was twenty-seven years old, even though at that time, it was a city he’d never seen before. In the two years since, he’d put down deep roots there, as both Clark and Superman, and he figured he knew every square inch of Metropolis by now. He paused and turned in midair, his cape swirling around him. Though he wasn’t really leaving Metropolis, this view of it would soon be all but lost to him, and he wanted to soak it in…to memorize every detail. To his right, the bay shimmered in the morning sunlight. To his left, the river meandered lazily toward the sea. And between the two, buildings rose up out of a maze of streets and alleys, some stretching eagerly toward the sky, while others rested modestly in their neighbors’ shadows. Every peak and valley of that skyline was as familiar to him as the layout of his own apartment.

He felt a fondness for the city and its people well up in him. The people of Metropolis had welcomed him, for the most part, with trust rather than fear. They had allowed an alien in a red and blue suit to walk and work amongst them. They had celebrated his successes and had bought t-shirts and toys and Halloween costumes adorned with his shield. And when they were hurt or afraid, when they were in need of help, his name had risen to their lips in a desperate cry, and he had always tried to answer them.

As he drifted over the shining city, buffeted a little by the soft spring wind, he wondered for the first time if Metropolis would forgive him for what he was about to do.