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#44894 07/29/07 11:49 AM
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ShayneT Offline OP
Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Posts: 814
Sorry for the delay. I was internet impaired this weekend. Hope everyone isn't getting bored...

#44895 07/29/07 01:25 PM
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T
Pulitzer
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Bored?

You're kidding, right? This is one of the most intense stories I've read online anywhere? And even during this exposition chapter, you've managed to up the mystery and danger quotients another notch, and even gave us a very nice "eww, gross!" moment when Clark discussed just how much he could hear. Very nice use of momentary humor to relieve some of the tension before increasing once again.

The massacre at the hospital concerns me greatly. Who's killing who? And why? Is the massacre the point of the exercise, or was getting Clark there the point? Or was it a surgical operation (please excuse the medical pun) that got out of hand?

You've still got my attention, Shayne. I'm more than ready to read the next chapter!

So where is it?


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#44896 07/29/07 02:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Posts: 303
I'm just catching up after a hiatus, and I adore this story! thanks

#44897 07/29/07 08:01 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
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TOC Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Oooohh, gaaaahhhh!!!! Believe me, Shayne, I'm not bored, but that was a terrible place to leave us. Was Clark just called by Angelica to do her horrible bidding?

I'd say, like Terry, that this chapter was so interesting all the way through, and you used your writer's skills so deceptively effortlessly when you explained to us what had happened to Clark. For me, who don't know anything about the buffyverse, seeing the interaction between Buffy and Faith was so interesting, too.

But all I can think of now is why Clark has left. It could be, of course, that he is just being altruistically heroic as usual. But it is every bit as possible that he has been called by Angelica to help her create more murder and mayhem.

Ann

#44898 07/30/07 04:38 AM
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445
Kerth
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Kerth
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The hearing thing must be an absolute nightmare until it's under control; in its own way worse than heat vision or super-strength.


Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
#44899 07/30/07 11:31 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 273
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 273
Just read this and part 24 catching up as I haven't been around much (life and all).... and all I can say is... you still have it!!

As a Buffy fan... love the quirky little bits you pull from there into this story - like the pig *laughs hysterically*... only Buffy fans will get that, but it is so cute, and just proves how well you know/research the 2 universes you have merged here. However it doesn't detract the story if you didn't know much about the Buffy-verse. The intensity you bring to the characters is fantastic, although Clark was a little bit quiet... albeit understandably...

Like everyone.. the burning cliffhanger question sits with us... is he off to do good, or bad... can't wait to see where you turn the story next..


"He's my best friend, best of all best friends
Do you have a best friend too
It tickles in my tummy
He's so Yummy Yummy
Hey you should get a best friend too" - Toy Box
#44900 07/30/07 09:37 PM
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Loved Lois and Clark's interaction with the Buffy verse and how L&C show their trust in each other!!

uhoh.. where did Clark go? thumbsup thumbsup cool


If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.

Waking a Miracle by Aria

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