Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Foundations (8/9)

My husband would say the same about me. It's amazing to me (in a good way) that when your life becomes intertwined with someone else's, while you still operate independently in a public way, in your private life everything, even the weather, comes down to the other person. Like a homing beacon or a touchstone.

Oh, man, you are in so. much. trouble. In both personas.

FANTASTIC revelation. I wonder if she knew from the moment she read it, or if it took a while for it come to her.

Despite my homing beacon comment above, those are also the people who can bring out your most cutting remarks. Scary how that works.

Like Mr. Incredible! (sort of)

I hope you have a happy ending for Jonathan. But knowing you, I'm sure you do.

Powerful chapter, C. I enjoyed it very much and I'm looking forward to the finale.

Oh man. I can't believe I lost track of this story. I caught up with a handful of parts tonight, and this one just topped them all. Well, the last thing I was expecting was that Lois figured it out! And it was a FABULOUSLY thought out fight. Unhappy results obviousy, but the air was cleared. I'm glad Clark's not being such a moron with the Superman thing now, and he's starting to accept both parts of himself. Finding the baby wrapped up in the newspaper with the byline and then recalling his parents finding him was a seriously nice touch, earlier. I can't wait for the final piece!

JD

I'm so stupid! I said I wouldn't miss part five and I look and holy cow! It's all the way up to part 8! I've been reading and playing catch up all night. This whole story is so heart breakingly sad! This revelation scene was wonderful. Really painful, but wonderfully written. I like how Clark got angry. It made the scene so much more real for all of his flaws! I can't wait for the last chapter, I'm sure it'll be fantastic.

Wow! That was...Incredible! I think you hit every emotion known to man in that one. I still can't believe she figured it out (though I'm glad she's not galactically stupid here)

I can't wait for the finale!! P.S. are you gonna tell us when she figured it out?

What a delightful way to do the revelation!

There is something about how torn and flthy Superman cape is so much like the gray and dismal dawn: like the dawn, his sullied cape is so imperfect. Like a too-rainy day. For me who live in Sweden it is easy to sympathize with people who complain about the rain, because I know what it's like to get too much of it. But then, where would we be if we got know rain at all? What would we be, if we got no rain at all? Extinct is what we'd be. Face it, Clark. There is no such thing as perfection.

Well, yes, there is perfection... but only in very small doses.

Well, as long as you abandon the rotten old foundation of lies and deceit, offering Lois a new foundation of honesty and trust wouldn't be a half-bad thing to do, if you ask me!

Oh wow! Wow! Caroline, I hadn't expected this!

I love how you write this, how you use your word magic to make us see what we have learnt to express in much coarser, sloppier terms, that Kryptonite has got nothing on Lois.

Oh, wow. Touché.

This is a brilliant revelation. Of course Lois, the award-winning reporter, must recognize her own partner's writing style.

The horrible thing is that she is right. If someone had died in that fire, Clark subconsciously would have blamed that person's death on Lois. Because it would have been her "fault" that he couldn't come to their rescue.

I don't agree with Lois that Clark might just as well have told her right away, pretty much as soon as he met her. He had to get to know her first and find out if he could trust her. But personally I don't feel sorry for Clark for being rejected when he asked Lois to love him as Clark Kent. He was lying to her then, not about his love for her, but about himself. He didn't deserve her love at that time.

It's strange how he keeps coming back to Lois's misguided answer again and again and uses her reply to him as a kind of justification for his continued lies to her. Lois answered as a person who had been well and truly deceived, because he had well and truly deceived her. And to him that was proof enough that she was untrustworthy and that he had to keep lying to her?

In a previous part, Clark told Constance Hunter that the woman he loved needed him to be two people. I think that is as far from the truth as it could be. It was Clark who needed to be two people. He needed to be perfect farmboy-reporter Clark Kent on one hand and perfect superhero Superman on the other. Mentally, he split himself in two. Then he successfully fooled Lois into believing in his charade - and suddenly, he could project his own need to be two people onto her. He needed her to love a man who didn't exist, but that he liked to pretend that he was - non-superpowered Clark Kent. And then he made himself believe that he was fooling her for her own sake, because the truth would be unacceptable to her. And therefore any problems he had because of his double life could be seen as something he himself was suffering and sacrificing because of Lois.

Once again, his own problems were Lois's fault.

Suddenly, you made my breath hitch. Yes, being hit by bullets and having to pretend that Clark Kent, the man he needed to be, was dead, and being unable to think of any way to get him back, must have been inconceivably horrible. (And I don't know if I've told you so, but that metaphor of packing an entire persona away in boxes is simply brilliant.)

So raw. So true. So painful.

But he still doesn't understand. He seems to be apologizing for not being able to give up Superman for her.

I hope he heard her this time. I hope he realizes that he will have to give up his old foundations of lies and deceit and offer Lois honesty and trust instead. Because if he won't, how can she know him and trust him?

It's quite interesting that you had Constance Hunter see and hear Lois and Clark/Superman's argument. I very much like her intervention and her suggestions to Clark:

Indeed, Clark. She didn't.

I snorted at this. Like Lisa, I was immediately reminded of Mr. Incredible.

Yes, he himself had needed to be two people. But now, finally, he could accept that he wasn't.

And Clark went back to the hospital, where he was welcomed by all. It was a nice touch to let him be greeted and shown around by a nurse who reminded him of his own mother. Again, the similarity between himself and the little foundling boy is driven home.

Not embarrassing in view of the fact that this little boy reminds Clark of his own miraculous salvation.

The way you write Clark's incredible bond to this little boy has me wondering if you will find a way for Lois and Clark to adopt him. (Yes, because I really don't doubt that you will make Lois and Clark find their way back to one another and build a new life on strong, solid foundations of honesty, love and trust.)

He didn't know himself before, but now he does. And he is beginning to see how he must offer Lois his true, undivided self if he wants to respect and honour her.

Great, Caroline! Please don't make us wait long for the final part.

Ann

Hmmmm. I just thought of something.

Okay, let's focus on just a part of this quote:

What was happening? Well, obviously, Lois was ripping off his cover, exposing him as a liar. Why had he been dreading this moment so much? The easy, pat answer is that he was afraid of Lois's anger. A better answer is that he was afraid that Lois would be angry enough to reject him. He was afraid of losing her.

I think, however, that the best answer is that Clark was afraid of losing himself. Or should I say that he was afraid of losing himselves? Both of him? Both non-superpowered Clark and superpowered Superman?

Almost for as long as Clark had known Lois, he had been carefully splitting himself in two before her eyes. He had been telling himself that Clark was his real self and that Superman didn't really exist. But he had been acting as if he wanted to show her that Superman was as real as Clark Kent, and Clark Kent was a mere earthling, no different from other men. Lois's different responses to the two personas he presented to her helped him keep himself divided. He loved her for loving him separately and in parts. That's why he envisioned a future for them where he offered her only a part of himself. A future, indeed, where he turned himself into half a man, amputating the Superman part of himself and living his life as if Clark Kent really was just an ordinary man. For Lois's sake. But really, mostly for his own.

But now Lois had seen through his disguise. And now the walls separating Clark and Superman were crumbling. And now Clark Kent - the man that he had packed up in boxes when Lois didn't want him, the man that he had had to pretend to be killed by a bullet - that man, Clark Kent, was now slipping through his fingers. Or rather, Clark Kent was merging inseparably with Superman, until both were neither and neither was known. And both were lost. And the man who didn't know himself could never again look at Lois and see himselves reflected in her eyes, to find confirmation that there were two of him, and never the twain shall meet.

When I re-read your story, I noticed that during the whole Lois/Clark confrontation and during the ensuing discussion between Constance Hunter and, well, Clark, you didn't once call him Clark. You never said that Clark did or said something. You consistently used the pronoun he: he did, he said, he thought. Because during that time Clark wasn't Clark. He was nobody. When Lois no longer believed that Clark and Superman were two separate people, he didn't believe it himself. He didn't believe in Clark anymore, the farmboy reporter with no superpowers. He was slipping through his own fingers, crumbling like a castle made of sand. He was losing himself. He didn't have a name any more. He was nobody. He was just "he".

But when Clark flew to the hospital to see the "baby version" of himself once more, he was Clark again. Because the baby had been wrapped in his byline, and how could he deny, to the baby, that he was Clark Kent? And he had saved it, like his mother had saved him. And the nurse, Katie, who took care of the baby, reminded him of his mother. And he had given the baby his father's name.

I remember that in the last part, you said that the baby felt so light and insubstantial in Clark's arms, when he lifted it out of the trashcan. It felt as if it might fly away on its own. Could this have been your way of saying that the baby's seeming unnatural lightness reflected Clark's precarious hold on himself? Maybe his sense of self was so tenuous that he might scatter and disperse in the wind, disappearing in the sky? Clark had to wrap the baby in his cape and hold on to him tightly to prevent the infant from just floating away. What about his own "solidity"?

The baby is definitely becoming more solid and real: And because I think of the baby as a metaphor for Clark Superman Kent El, I think that Clark, too, is becoming more solid. He is picking up the pieces of himself, but he is not building two shadow-characters of himself this time. He has finally found a way to fit the pieces together so that Clark kent and Superman can be one man:

Wow. This is even more significant than I realized when I read it the first time, Caroline.

Ann

oh my god - how could I've missed that story? . I only stumbled about part 8 this morning and I really can't believe it that this story went by without me reading it .

Well, but at least I now know what to do with the rest of this day: searching and then reading the first 7 parts of it. And I hope the last part will come soon, I can barely await how this is going to end. I'm not sure why (well, but on the other side I for sure know why I want it ), but I hope Lois also will come to the hospital as long Clark is still there

I love this too. The revelation was handled so well.
You write beautifully.

Aaawww.
And I'm very glad to see we're getting an extra part!

Only one criticism... another wretched tissue moment at the end and I'm fresh out! Anybody got a spare hankie?

yeah the revelation was great. The whole part was great and I never guessed that Lois hadn't send the fax. Great way.

Oh I think Clark has to do a lot of cleaning up after his mess to get Lois back.

Can't wait for the next part. I am glad there are now 9 parts instead of 8. Perhaps we'll get 10 or 11?

Oh Wow. I've been out of town--off the internet for 3 weeks and so I've fallen behind in this story. Now that I've caught up. . . just rip my heart out why don't you?

This was painfully wonderful. I know some probably won't agree, but I'm so Glad that Clark-superman got mad a Lois durring thier arguement. He actually stood up for himself and his feelings instead of just letting her beat him up again (at least for a few seconds). Yes, he was an idiot and had his thinking all backwards, Yes there were proabaly dozens of times that he might have tried to tell her, but (as much as we scorn the idea) fear is a very powerful emotion. Phobias are real and His fear boarders on them. I'm proud that he was finally ready (got the courage up ) to tell her. Ok, I'm getting off of my soap box now. . .

I love little Johnathan <big sigh> Is there any way that he could end up in Clark's keeping. . . (I know probably not)

Looking forward to more soon.

Vonceil

I should probably leave this part alone now, Caroline, but....

Why isn't Clark fighting his tears? Probably because he has let go of his assumed personas that served as shields between himself and his true emotions. The fact that his emotions are breaking through means that he has stopped being in denial about so many things. Consider! He has lost his biological parents and all other biological relatives. He has lost his society. He has lost his people! He has lost his planet! Can you even imagine what that would be like? No, it's impossible to even think of.

And he was saved, miraculously, after a journey across the light years, all alone, as an infant, on his way to an unknown alien planet, to hope for the mercy of strangers to save him. It boggles the mind, honestly! And even though he was so unbelievably lucky that he got the best foster parents that anyone could ever hope for, he is still an alien on this world, the only one of his kind. Maybe he can never have children. Maybe he will be the very, very last of his kind.

Clark has so many reasons to cry, but his role-playing and his persona-masquerade haven't let him. But now, when he is holding another little foundling boy in his arms and letting go of his pretense, his real feelings make their way to the surface. And from there, he can start to piece together the real man who can be true to both himself and to Lois.

Ann

I can't find the words to express how much I loved that revelation--how much I loved the whole part. It was amazing. I especially liked that Constance overheard their argument.

Can't wait for the last part!

Wow just wonderful. I especailly loved the ending. very touching. Laura

I missed a few parts while I was on vacation, and I just caught up with the parts I missed. And I must say: WOW so far. Can't wait to read this part!!

Oh I love that she didn't send the fax, but I never expected it!!
Okay I saw more have already quoted this, but I just coudn't resist it because it is quote worthy, very beautifuly said!! It's nice that Constance knows the whole truth now.

I liked how Superman was with the baby, very sweet and caring. Not rushed at all.

I hope everything is going to work out between Clark and Lois can't wait for the last part!!

Caroline I'm really sorry i haven't given you any feedback. I try, I just feel that it's hard to do you justice.

But after the last two parts that were a parade of all that adore in your writing I just have to say something.

I love the premise in this story.
(Strange, there must have been other Superman retires stories but I can't recall any following this simple concept before.) It definitely seems like something Clark could do.
I love how you draw the world around them and that everything isn't about true lurve. Your sketches of places and people are just art.
I love how you have fleshed out Constance Hunter. I love your Martha, but then you seem to know her rather then write about her.
I love how Clark wrestles with his consciousness and how Lois loses her hero.
That was just beautiful. To Clark, Lois losing Superman shouldn’t be such a big deal, if she really has chosen the ordinary guy. (And since Clark is superman it’s not like she actually would lose anything) He just doesn’t understand that Superman isn’t just a romantic interest or a fancy of Lois.

The boy in the trash can was just brilliance, and the revelation inspired, surprising and plausible.

Whenever I check out the board for stories this is what I hope to find.

Thank you.

Thank you so much to all who took the time to respond to this penultimate part! I was so glad that so many of you thought the revelation "worked" - and glad, too, that it managed to be a surprise to most of you .

Ann, I was really flattered that you found this part so thought-provoking. You consistently manage to make me feel much smarter and a much better writer than I actually am, and I thank you for that!

When I wrote "The Challenge," I promised you and Patrick a story in which Lois was not fooled by Clark . Well... this is it, and I had fun writing it this way! I'm delighted you both thought it worked as well.

Lisa, thank you for starting this thread and - again - for your wonderful support throughout this story and others.

Arawn, it's always wonderful to hear from you, and I'm excited to find out you've been following this story. I'm so glad you've enjoyed it so far, and I hope the last part doesn't disappoint!

I agree, Vonceil! I think Clark's fear has overpowered him in this story, and that's at the root of both his stupidity and his anger. But I liked having him get a little angry, too

Thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to respond. I really do appreciate all your comments so much!

Caroline

LOIS!!! WOW!!! Such subterfuge! And oooooooh, she knows! You are in so much trouble!

Ooooooh! So does Constance know? I'll just bet that she does - sharp cookie that she is (after all, she's not blinded by infatuation for Superman, is she?)

And oh, this whole revelation part is just tearing my heart to ribbons Caroline! I'd quote something but I'd end up quoting the whole darn thing!

Ooooh! I like this! And I know he can trust Constance.

Ohhhhh <sniffle> darn you! You made me cry!!! Now I'm gonna have to fix my make-up! <sigh>

Awwwwwwwwwwww! This was the perfect ending to this part, Caroline <more tears> Awwww, I loved it! I can't wait to read the final part...

.... <sniffle> ....

But, alas, I have no time left this morning. I have to leave. So it may be tomorrow morning before I finish up the story. I have loved it and enjoyed it immensely - and knowing you, I'm sure you'll give us a happy ending - maybe not a PERFECT ending, but a happy one, none the same. <g>

-- DJ