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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738 |
I love this part especially because of vulnerable Lois and the way she admits that she is not fine and I love the comforting scene at the end. But still the mystery doesn't get clearer. Why did Superman kill people? Where was Clark at this moment? Why has Clark lost his memory? Why is he hurt and why oh why should Superman be dead? You see, you have to come back soon before I lose my mind. 
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
Yes, why why why??? 
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I'm with Gr8shades. I think the evil Superman must have been a clone. It could be that someone overpowered the real Superman with Kryptonite, extracted DNA from him while he was vulnerable and then left him for dead. But why would that Superman wear Clark's clothes? Do the persons responsible for cloning him - Luthor???  - know that Superman is Clark Kent? Anyway, an evil Luthor-made Superman clone would explain a lot. I love the sweetness of Lois and Clark's feelings for each other. But of course, I groan at how they are unable to really talk to each other! As always! If they would only tell each other the truth about what they know and what they don't know, and then they could start finding out the truth behind the horrible but dead Superman together. I love the insistent thread of sweet desire that you keep weaving between Clark and Lois. I'm not necessarily asking you for nfic if you'd rather not write it this time, but I really would like to be told that Clark and Lois finally get together in a way that is not wholly platonic.  I'm back at work now, so please understand that I don't have a lot of time for feedback. But I love this story. Ann
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
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Very nicely done, Bakasi! Now, hurry back!
~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Vatman ! It has got to be the clone. Separate Lives But those pictures of better days were quickly replaced by his darker side that he hadn’t shown until recently. Lois still couldn’t believe that the indescribable destruction was caused by him. There was enough evidence that should have convinced the die-hard investigative journalist she was. Even so, she didn’t buy it. Superman couldn’t hurt people just for the sake of being cruel. Superman takes off after him, easily catches him. Superman then lifts him and tosses him into the waiting paddy wagon some twenty feet away. The policemen shake his hand, but Lois stands there in shock. LOIS: "Clark, we have to talk. There's something wrong with Superman!"
Clark's eyes widen as she continues.
LOIS (CONT'D): "I watched him toss this robbery suspect into a police van from twenty feet away. Knocked the guy out cold. Superman wouldn't do that."
Framework4
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45 |
Thanks for the feedback, guys! 
It's never too dark to be cool. 
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185 |
OMG!!! I just found this story--Is there a chance that some "new" form of Kryptonite actually split "Clark" from "Superman"? That woudl explain the Pain he felt when he tried to help in the alley? Maybe?
I'm expecting the phone to ring any moment with Martha on the other end--worried and confused. Will she be relieved or (as usual) be so perceptive as to almost have ESP and know that Clark is covering?
Wonderful story!
More soon please
Vonceil
Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part! 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45 |
Thanks for the feedback! As for the nfic Ann didn't dare to make me write, Nancy has already asked me for nfic when she read the first kiss of this fic. Not that it is actually worth anything  Eh, anyway, I guess I will write a nfic part as soon as it fits into the story. Right now I don't get much done, 'cause real life is rather rough with me these days and it won't get any better in the next two weeks. While I have at least six more parts written, I need to rework a major section and I don't really see that I'll manage to do this this weekend. Trying to be back as soon as possible. 
It's never too dark to be cool.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738 |
I hope real life is getting better. I miss this story pretty much and the two weeks are up Miss Cliffhanger.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,638 Likes: 45 |
Well, Pam, as I said, I'm sorry. I'm doing my very best to bring this story back on the way. Before I can do that I need to tape it up and nurse it back to health. It was seriously attacked lately and though I wouldn't say that the criticism wasn't necessary, I'm still suffering from its after effects. Plus, I'm really busy. Hopefully I can solve all the problems real life has thrown at me by next week. Sorry for the delay. 
It's never too dark to be cool.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,585 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,585 Likes: 10 |
Hi, Bakasi!  Andreia 
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738 |
hey we'll wait for the next part and don't worry it will be worth the wait.
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