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Joined: Mar 2007
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Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 346 |
Oh, Laura! So perfectly done. *sigh* I love this bit from Clark: “Let me tell you this: I love you. I know it’s so wrong and I regret the burden I’m transferring to you. I regret that, Lois, but I could never bring myself to regret the love in my heart. It’s shameful and vile, but please believe me when I say it’s sincere. I want you to forget me, but please keep the words in your heart and know that they were heartfelt. Let them comfort you when you’re sad. And when you find someone your own age who you can love back, remember them one last time and then forget. Forget me, Lois.” *sigh* “I’m not going to run,” he said softly. Yay! I'm very glad. “My last test was to seduce you, Clark.” What is Clark's reponse to that going to be? How is he going to take it? Laugh...or get angry? Hmm... I can't wait to find out! I loved this whole part and was squealing with glee when Lois told him her secret. Now he just needs to come out with a little secret of his own... And they need to band together to stop the Rosettes. Easy peasy. Can't wait for Part 10... How many parts do you estimate till the end, Laura? ~Anna.
Lois: Jimmy, give me back my dress. Clark: Now there's something you don't hear around the newsroom everyday.
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Fantastic part! “Why you need to seduce Mr. Kent, that’s what, Lois.” Not that the idea isn't favorable <snicker> but wow! I bet she didn't see that one coming, I sure didn't! The image of him running around in tight spandex flickered across her mind and left her with the ghost of a grin. How ridiculous. OMG, that was a good one! I'm surprised that she told him the truth, I was expecting you to draw it out a little longer--it was a nice surprise. I can't help but wonder, though, if Clark will question whether or not she's telling the truth about being a 23 year old undercover reporter, especially after she just told him about her latest initation assignment. Looking forward to finding out what happens next!
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Oh wow...this part was great! I completely felt the tension in the room, Clark's frustration and self-loathing...I'm so glad Lois just told him the truth. You are certainly the master of the cliffhanger, though! I can't even imagine what Clark's reaction will be. Get back here!!!
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 78 |
Hi, Laura! I’ve been following this story, though it’s the first time I leave you a feedback. Ah! I love it… I’ve always had crushes on my teachers. Well haven’t we all? And I think can relate to Lois. Except for the working undercover part! His voice was incredulous, his hair mussed. He must have been napping. Mmm... That must have been a pretty sight! Let me tell you this: I love you. I know it’s so wrong and I regret the burden I’m transferring to you. Why can’t all guys be like clark? “It’s still meaningless. I still had feelings for you when I believed you were 17. It’s not right. I still need to go, Lois.” How cant he say it’s meaningless? Lois slapped him across the face. “How can you say that this is meaningless? Yeah Lois! Show him what is meaningless… Although, I don’t think he felt that… Clark paused. “Stupid? I don’t think anyone’s called me that for at least a good six years. Maybe since high school,” Clark finally smiled. “Are you sure you’re not 17?” lol... True, but you ARE being stupid, you know? “I’m going to kiss you, Clark Kent, and you better not run away.” I doubt he would. “My last test was to seduce you, Clark.” Wow, Lois! Wrong approach, very wrong! I can almost see where this is going. I doubt he will believe what she told him so far was true. I bet he will think it was all part of the charade to seduce him! It is Clark’s nature to jump into conclusions... Come on, Laura! You can’t finish a part the way you did, and leave us hanging for a much longer... MORE, NOW!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Not when your teachers are the Brothers of the Sacred Heart and the Society of Jesus. They were all getting up in years! Couldn't resist. Hmm, that is a very evil place to hang us! I can't imagine what Clark is going to think. But good, at least she told him the truth. It halted oodles of angst, but perhaps created quite a different sort... JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Columnist
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Columnist
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wow Laura what an intense part. Would you please come back soon? what an evil part to leave.
I hope Clark won't jump to wrong conclusions. I hope he'll help Lois fight the Rosettes.
Great part.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
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“Take a picture of him naked in bed and bring it here in two days. If you do it, you’re one of us. Goodbye Lois.” Freakin' A! The image of him running around in tight spandex flickered across her mind *snort* Wow, that's quite a rant Clark let loose, and Lois didn't even say anything! But the dress and the time of night spoke for her. “Let me tell you this: I love you. I know it’s so wrong and I regret the burden I’m transferring to you. I regret that, Lois, but I could never bring myself to regret the love in my heart. It’s shameful and vile, but please believe me when I say it’s sincere. I want you to forget me, but please keep the words in your heart and know that they were heartfelt. Let them comfort you when you’re sad. And when you find someone your own age who you can love back, remember them one last time and then forget. Forget me, Lois.” WAHH!! I loved Lois' declaration as much as Clark's! “It’s still meaningless. I still had feelings for you when I believed you were 17. It’s not right. I still need to go, Lois.” *headdesk* I hate to interrupt this sweet scene, but I have to say if I were in Clark's shoes I'd ask for some proof. Surely he's smart enough to know that someone who hangs around with Lexy wouldn't hesitate to lie like this. But since I know she's not lying, I'm going back to the sweetness. “My last test was to seduce you, Clark.” I am so glad she told him. But now I'm going to be holding my breath until I find out how he responds! Great chapter, Laura!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185 |
Ummmm, Yeah.... You really know how to kick a girl in the stomach. What a chapter. “What is my final task, Lexy?”
Lexy’s ice blue eyes never left Lois’ as she gave an innocent blink that fooled and hoodwinked all of Metropolis High.
“Why you need to seduce Mr. Kent, that’s what, Lois.” WHAT --You know, I should have seen it coming, but I really expected a "hanging over the Jaws of Death" sort of thing--just because it's Lois. “You’re insane if you think Mr. Kent would compromise his integrity and lower himself to sleeping with one of his students,” she ground out. yeah Lois!! Protecting Clark ! At Lois’ mutinous expression, Lexy smiled, though it lent no warmth to her face. “That’s the deal, Lois. Just how badly do you want to be one of us? Enough to compromise your favorite teacher? Though I have to say I think we went a little too easy on you. Who wouldn’t envy your assignment? You’re going to get some mind blowing sex.” Man, She may look like sweet little girl, but she really is a monster. “Take a picture of him naked in bed and bring it here in two days. If you do it, you’re one of us. Goodbye Lois.” Ok, That's It, Leave Clark Alone you Witch!! Or I'll have to pull out the Big Guns! “Why are you here, Lois? What are you trying to do to me?” His voice broke and Lois’ breath caught in her throat as she caught the desolate expression in his face.
“Do you need me to say it? Is that it? Is that what you want? Do you need to know the truth? To know that I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror? That I’ve lied to my parents and lied to myself? That I can’t face my memories or come to terms with my future? You’ve vanquished me, Lois Lane and I don’t think you were even trying. I didn’t want to believe you were trying. But here you are, dressed like this,” Clark broke off and then continued, his voice growing stronger with each word. “I’m quitting. How can I work in that place anymore? How can I stand to live here, haunted by these memories? You had better leave. Please go home. I’m so angry I can hardly see straight but that’s not all.” You really have a tallent for ripping out my heart. Man, This one hurts to read. Clark has comdemned himself without any trial. I'm glad you let Lois tell him the truth, I'm just wondering if he'll believe her or not. He knows she can get "fake" ids--so her real one won't be proof enough. She could take him to her appartment, but that could also be faked. I have this strange vision in my head of her Dragging Clark into the Planet and forcing Perry and/or Jimmie to vouch for her. Wonderful! More soon please (I'm leaving my little friends at home for now--you did such a wonderful job with this chapter) Vonceil
Johnny was a chemist, Now Johnny is no more, For what he thought was H two O Was really H two S O four. --Lab safety limrick--
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 833 |
Waaaah! You're on part nine already?? I'm a horrible horrible beta-type person thing who only makes suggestions and stuff! *goes back to read Other Bits*
Mmm cheese.
I vid, therefor I am.
The hardest lesson is that love can be so fair to some, and so cruel to others. Even those who would be gods.
Anne Shirley: I'm glad you spell your name with a "K." Katherine with a "K" is so much more alluring than Catherine with a "C." A "C" always looks so smug. Me: *cries*
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, Great part! That was sweet! Lois broke off and stood. It was just too intimate sitting there. She paced for a moment and finally convinced herself to just say it. “My last test was to seduce you, Clark.” Would Clark want to investigate too? More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez. --- Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age. MAF
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
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None of those things are what the Rosettes are about, Lois. We don’t just rule high school, we own it. It’s about having fun with no consequences. Oh, so it's about fiction. I can understand that. “But I refuse to serve as your flunky, pulling jobs with no benefits. If I don’t move up in the ranks soon, I’m out of here.” Lois took a step forward. I believe her. She's on a deadline, after all. She knew these girls. She knew that in their heart of hearts they had merely been swept away by a bad crowd and the glamour of Lucifer’s star. How poignantly true of so many teens, male and female alike. They'll sell their souls to belong. Of course, Lexy isn't like that. With her it's about power. She doesn't care in the least about these girls. She wants them to do her bidding, but they are valueless in and of themselves. She discards those that she doesn't or can't use. Who knew that behind such innocent lurked something so much darker?
Drugs. Leave it to Lois to figure out the bottom line without any of the dots to connect. She had made her decision. The case was the most important, if not only for her job’s sake but for the innocent kids at risk because of Lexy’s corrupt morals. She might not be the one to wear the spandex, but she has always been in it to save the world. I'm surprised that Clark allows Lois into his apartment. If he's already decided to quit his job, perhaps it's a bit understandable, but it's still out-of-line. Even when the truth came out about her true age, it would be no balm for Clark. And we can see in just a few moments that she's right. The kids at school didn’t matter. Lexy, Jill, their ridiculous gang. Nothing mattered. That's the problem. Both of them matter. In some ways, they're mutually exclusive. She can be cut-throat and get the story, or she can be soft-hearted to Clark and lose the story. So far she doesn't have hard facts to back any of it up. She won't get those hard facts without bringing down Mr. Kent. (Whether or not he works with her, once that photo is out there, people will wonder about his integrity.) What they need is a chaperone to take the picture--someone to corroborate that nothing sexual actually happened. As for whether or not he believes her, I disagree that Clark will need evidence before he believes she's 17. In some ways, he's as intuitive as she is. Also, there's a ring of truth to it all. Lois has some valid points about why Clark would be attracted to her despite of her apparent age. However, I deeply doubt that he will hear it from her. (Is it too much to ask for Martha to come in from the back bedroom? Yeah... That's what I thought.) It never even entered her mind to lie. Now that's what we've been waiting for. The next few moments are crucial for Lois' future. Don't blow it, girlfriend! Elisabeth
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
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Wow, Laura. Part 9! And another fabulous...and emotion driven part it was. Okay, umm... (and about 2 weeks later) What? I am anxious to find out about Claude and what he has done with Lois's story...the LOUSE! “What is my final task, Lexy?”
Lexy’s ice blue eyes never left Lois’ as she gave an innocent blink that fooled and hoodwinked all of Metropolis High.
“Why you need to seduce Mr. Kent, that’s what, Lois.”
Lois noticeably paled as the earth rocked around her. “Excuse me?” She meant to sound imperious but her damn voice betrayed her with a shake.
“You heard me, Lois. You’re obviously one of Mr. Kent’s favorites, so in reality, we’re letting you off easy.” Now as juicy as that sounds, I am praying that Lois comes Clean with Clark. Apparently, Lexy is trying to compromise Clark's integrity...something Lex Luthor would do. I think that Lois is also surprised that someone has figured her out and her feelings for Clark. “That’s the deal, Lois. Just how badly do you want to be one of us? Enough to compromise your favorite teacher? Though I have to say I think we went a little too easy on you. Who wouldn’t envy your assignment? You’re going to get some mind blowing sex.” Darn skippy...she would. Now that's one dare that I would take...to seduce Dean...I mean Clark. The knock echoed loudly and the sound startled Lois. Oh God, had she really knocked? Was she really going to do this? A black purse swung from her arm, though it seemed heavier than it should be with the weight of the camera inside. When the knob turned, she very nearly fled. Lois’ heart beat a rapid tattoo in her chest and sharp pains stabbed her stomach. And then, before she could rethink everything, it was done and Clark Kent stood in the doorway, blinking sleep and surprise out of his eyes. So, Lois goes to Clark dressed like a hooker. She subconsciously knows that he doesn't go for that type, so maybe he would abruptly redirect her and she could tell Lexy that she was not successful. “Lois?” His voice was incredulous, his hair mussed. He must have been napping, it was too early for him to have been in bed. She must have stood there quietly for a long while because Clark’s eyes focused and grew more lucid.
“Lois? Are you all right? Is everything okay?”
Oh God, he was acting nice. Why was he doing that? Couldn’t he see she was here to destroy him?
“I’m fine,” Lois said, willing her traitorous voice not to betray her. “It’s cold, can I come in?”
“Oh, um, yes, yes of course.” Clark stepped back to allow her to brush past him. He absently finger combed his hair as he shut the door after her.
“I’m sorry about the mess,” he said a little awkwardly. “I wasn’t expecting any company.” So, Lois is up to no good and Clark is still being so sincere. He even tells her in so many words that he is alone...in his heart as well as physically. “Why are you here, Lois? What are you trying to do to me?” His voice broke and Lois’ breath caught in her throat as she caught the desolate expression in his face.
“Do you need me to say it? Is that it? Is that what you want? Do you need to know the truth? To know that I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror? That I’ve lied to my parents and lied to myself? That I can’t face my memories or come to terms with my future? You’ve vanquished me, Lois Lane and I don’t think you were even trying. I didn’t want to believe you were trying. But here you are, dressed like this,” Clark broke off and then continued, his voice growing stronger with each word. “I’m quitting. How can I work in that place anymore? How can I stand to live here, haunted by these memories? You had better leave. Please go home. I’m so angry I can hardly see straight but that’s not all.” And Clark thinks that Lois wants to torment him, make him say what he feels when he was probably looking for a reason to tell her how he felt...so that she would know even if they could not act on those feelings. Clark heaved a sigh, and visibly seemed to calm down. “Lois, since my wife passed away, I haven’t felt anything for anyone. I could hardly allow myself to feel because look at the risk associated with it. I thought if I kept my heart locked away, nothing would ever touch me again. That was a foolish notion. You came into my life and I have to tell you this. As soon as I do, I want you to leave,” Clark’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Please leave after I tell you this. You have nothing to fear from me. I just want you to be safe. I’m packing my belongings. I’m leaving Metropolis and you’ll never see me again. It’s better like this for you. But please, before I go, grant me this one thing.”
Her voice stuck in her throat and her eyes burned, tears stinging the backs of her eyelids. “Anything, Clark.”
“Let me tell you this: I love you. I know it’s so wrong and I regret the burden I’m transferring to you. I regret that, Lois, but I could never bring myself to regret the love in my heart. It’s shameful and vile, but please believe me when I say it’s sincere. I want you to forget me, but please keep the words in your heart and know that they were heartfelt. Let them comfort you when you’re sad. And when you find someone your own age who you can love back, remember them one last time and then forget. Forget me, Lois.” Then Clark pours his heart out, all the while berating himself for having those feelings. He is so sad and alone. The tears weren’t staying behind her eyelids any longer. They streamed down her face silently and she could hardly bear to look into Clark’s face. The face of the man she had almost destroyed without another thought in her head. She chanced looking up into his eyes and they seared into her soul, a sad mixture of regret and anguish. She had to tell him the truth, the whole truth. Her job didn’t matter anymore. The kids at school didn’t matter. Lexy, Jill, their ridiculous gang. Nothing mattered.
Nothing except the man in front of her. The man who was offering, no demanding, to uproot his life and destroy his soul and memories for her. The words spilled out of her, and she had no control over their eloquence.
“Clark, I have to tell you something too. And please promise to hear me out. Do you promise that?”
Clark gave a tiny nod, though he seemed a little emotionally burned out. The anger and passion had left his eyes and now they appeared merely soft.
“You have to let me finish. No interrupting?”
“Yes Lois. I promise,” Clark said. His voice when he spoke was ragged. But, Lois has a secret, too. All of the times that Clark has rescued Lois, she is about to become his savior. Lois is about to save Clark from himself. “I’m 23 years old. I graduated from college with a journalism degree. When I got here, high school was just the same as I remembered. The cliques. The homework. The conversation. It was all things I could handle. But I didn’t count on you, Clark. You were that bit that never truly fit in with my plans. From the very beginning, I found myself looking forward to your class in a way that didn’t fit with my carefully laid plans. Did you know that your class is the only one I actually did my homework for?” She looked at him, a weak smile on her lips, but Clark’s face was stone. She swallowed nervously and continued. “And by and by, I got closer and closer to the gang. I stole test answers and manufactured fake IDs. I kept up the charade with them, but with you everything was so different. I was a different person around them, but around you, Clark, I was me. It was my outlet for all the stress of having this dual life. I felt connected with you. I don’t know if you can believe me, or if you’re repulsed by me, but Clark, please believe me when I say I love you too. I love you back. I’ve fancied myself in love before, but it’s never been this.” So, Lois tells Clark that she is in love with him and that she has never felt anything like this...this wonderful before. She can feel their connection. The words finally stopped. Clark was leaning against the sofa, his face still grayish pale beneath his tan. Finally, after a long while, he spoke. “You’re… oh God. You’re not 17?”
Lois shook her head and watched as an internal war raged in Clark’s mind.
“I—I hardly know what to say.” Oh, yeah, Clark is definitely relieved. Clark gave her a small smile. “Give me a minute; this is a lot to take in. I can’t believe this. I…” His expression changed. “It’s still meaningless. I still had feelings for you when I believed you were 17. It’s not right. I still need to go, Lois.”
Lois slapped him across the face. “How can you say that this is meaningless? Yes you had feelings for me when you thought I was younger, but news flash, Clark Kent! I’m not underage. I didn’t act that way around you. I didn’t finish the illusion. I have to wonder if my subconscious didn’t just want you to find out. You fell in love with me, Clark and I fell in love with you. The age thing isn’t an issue anymore.”
“The fact that it was an issue in the first place means something important, Lois,” Clark said, setting his jaw mulishly.
“You’re being so,” Lois sputtered for the right word, “stupid!” Clark is berating himself again, punishing himself with guilt. Maybe he is asking Lois to tell him that he is not wrong or perverted. Maybe he is asking her to ask him to stay. Still on edge and nervous, Lois didn’t have the patience for such good-natured teasing. She grabbed his T-shirt and yanked him down to her level. “I’m going to kiss you, Clark Kent, and you better not run away.” Lois is asking Clark not to leave her, physically or emotionally. “I’m not going to run,” he said softly. He took her hand and pulled her onto his lap on the couch. “But you have to explain something to me.” And Clark is answering Lois and telling her that he isn't going to run in either guise...and that he is ready to take the next step. “And then last night I got my last test. My test was…” Lois broke off and stood. It was just too intimate sitting there. She paced for a moment and finally convinced herself to just say it. “My last test was to seduce you, Clark.” Okay, I can see Clark's moth hanging open. He's going to help Lois to pull this off. I just know it. Maybe they will have mind blowing sex, but it'll never leave their room. Together, Lane and Kent... Oooh, Lois, don't forget to tell Clark about the camera! Never once did Lois call Clark Mr. Kent and not once did Clark correct her. Humm? I can see Lex Luthor in Lexy. I have made a connection here and I don't know if anyone else has or not. She comes across as being so sincere except to those who can see through her. She is the leader of a gang who puts her "goons" up to do her dirty work. She has money and connections. She hates Clark because he wouldn't be fooled by her deceit so she tries to discredit him. Am I getting warm here? Laura, this was...just...breathtaking. I just got so wrapped up in this. Oh man... ~Sheila Oh, I have to say...I had a crush on our priest growing up. He was young and gorgeous as 90% of Roman Catholic Priests are. I was a teenager. Every Sunday at mass I would just look at how beautiful he was and then condemn myself to hell for it. I often said to my mother when I got older and wouldn't get smacked for it..."Father ***** is such a beautiful man and it's such a waste for women that he cannot get married." And to my surprise she agreed.
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31 |
Perfect chapter for relaxing on a Friday evening. Well any evwning, weekend, whatever.
I saw it coming, but did I actually ecepect it to be coming? Oh boy.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Part 9 (and about 2 weeks later) Sheila protested at the fact that you were taking us two weeks ahead in time without telling us what Claude had been up to in the meantime. Had he been stealing Lois's story again? But is there all that much to steal? Does Lois have a lot of evidence against the Rosettes yet? As I was thinking about this, it suddenly struck me that if Claude stole Lois's story, such as it is at this point, and did some additional digging on his own and came up with enough evidence to put a stop to the Rosettes, then - well, then I would be just as relieved as I was angry. Because if anyone puts a stop to the Rosettes - Lois, Claude, Clark, anyone - then the next girl who would have been killed by the Rosettes will be saved. That wouldn't be so bad, would it? The horrible thing - the really, really horrible thing - would be if Claude stole notes from Lois and used the information not to stop the Rosettes but to aid them, perhaps by even helping them to kill the next girl. And then trying to implicate Lois and putting the blame on her. Or trying to help the Rosettes to kill her. As for what Lois was up to in this chapter, there are two quotes from this part that stuck in my mind: She had made her decision. The case was the most important, if not only for her job's sake but for the innocent kids at risk because of Lexy's corrupt morals. And that was why she knocked on Clark Kent's door at 10 p.m., wearing a short black dress and killer heels. Lois is prepared to throw Clark to the wolves, to ruin his life forever, to secure her job at the Daily Planet and to save the kids who are at risk from Lexy. She had to tell him the truth, the whole truth. Her job didn't matter anymore. The kids at school didn't matter. Lexy, Jill, their ridiculous gang. Nothing mattered.
Nothing except the man in front of her. No, wait! Who cares about that job and the kids? All that matters is that Lois can be honest with Clark and act on her love for him. This Lois is twenty-three years old, so she is certainly an adult of consensual age. Clark definitely wouldn't be raping a minor if he were to have sex with her. But for all of her twenty-three years, this Lois is still immature. There aren't many shades of grey in her world, so things tend to be either black and white to her. Something matters not at all, and other things matter so much that nothing else is of any significance. And one and the same thing can suddenly change from being unimportant, so that it can be sacrificed, to becoming all-important, so that everything else can be sacrificed instead. This is an immature way of reasoning. And it's no wonder that Lois is immature. She is twenty-three. In most stories where we meet her she is twenty-nine years old and a seasoned reporter. Wouldn't she have learned anything during those six years of working as a reporter and trying to figure out what is important in her life and in her line of work? A twenty-nine-year-old Lois would not have been willing to sacrifice either Clark Kent or Jill and Lexy's future victims as she was trying to crack this case and get herself a job at the Daily Planet. At least, I choose to believe that she wouldn't. Anyway, this whole situation made me react in an unexpected way to the kiss between Clark and Lois: The tension drained from her body as he gently kissed her, his hand resting hesitantly on her back. A few moments into the kiss and he snapped, transferring his arm to her waist and pulling her tightly against him. She kissed him harder, releasing weeks of pent up love and lust. She pulled back for a moment, keeping her eyes shut. Her senses seemed magnified in the darkness and she was keenly aware of the light brush of stubble against her chin and his body heat radiating and keeping her warm. She rested her head in the hollow of his neck, tilting up to caress the underside of his jaw with a kiss. His pulse beat erratically beneath her lips and she reluctantly opened her eyes. Normally, I would have been excited and turned on, silently urging them on to progress from mere kissing to doing the horizontal rhumba. But not here. I want to rein Lois in instead. Yes, yes, she is of consensual age, but right now, right here she is immature, and this is too soon. And Clark is immature too. He is still living in the shade of his dead wife, letting her disapproval of his powers diminish him. And he is raw and upset, having beaten himself up over his his attraction to Lois which he believes to be ugly and disgusting. They both need to take a step back and catch their respective breaths. And they need to work together to stop Lexy Hartness and the Rosettes and Claude Malfois. And then, when they have worked together as partners and equals and have learned to trust one another as such, then the real kissing can begin. Ann
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 402 |
Reading Ann's comments helped me clarify my own on this part, so I'm going to go ahead and share them and hope they make sense to you. I'm still really enjoying the story, but I finished this chapter with a very uneasy feeling. The fact that Clark launched into detailed confessions with no more provocation than Lois arriving on his doorstep in a little black dress means that this attraction he's been fighting is very, very near the surface for him. He has been suffering terribly through this, and I kind of agree with him that her just saying, "Oh, it's OK because I'm actually 23," doesn't change the ethical dilemma with which he's been wrestling one bit. And the fact that he confesses his love for her - and describes it as "shameful and vile" - before she confesses her age is just going to make that worse. He fell in love with a student, he confessed his love to a student, and Lois is naive to think that simply telling him her age is going to make all the shameful feelings he's been wallowing in go away. Needless to say, Lois slapping him for telling her this did not exactly endear her to me. I wanted to slap her right back. But Ann pointed out in her comments that Lois is still very immature, even at 23, and what's worse, she's been immersed in an even more immature environment since she went undercover at the high school. She is certainly not evil like Lexy and Jill, but she's not acting like an adult here either. "I'm 23 and I love you" is NOT enough to buy this couple a clean slate, but when Clark doesn't see it that way, she immediately has a tantrum and slaps him and calls him "stupid." I'm glad Clark called her on that. And then, just when things seem to be looking up, she has to admit that she came there to do the very thing that was his absolute worst nightmare as an ethical teacher and a good man. And she came there dressed to do it, so why should he believe that she wasn't really planning to go through with it? Or that this whole "I'm actually 23" thing isn't just part of the plan? Ouch. I can't imagine the rest of this conversation going well, but I'm certainly looking forward to finding out where you're going to take it, and I'm still enjoying the story very much Caroline
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
Hi everyone. I'm glad to see the mixed responses to this chapter. Things are far from resolved in Lois and Clark's world and you were supposed to feel a little uneasy. They had formed a very, very rocky peace. I had intended to break the chapter at a different point, which I regret not doing now as I look it over in hindsight. I believe it would have cleared up many concerns. But onto the thanks! Anna-- What is Clark's reponse to that going to be? How is he going to take it? Laugh...or get angry? Hmm... Hmm... indeed! What do you think? It's a pretty bald statement. Hmm... I suppose I should try and estimate how long this will be. Perhaps... four or five more chapters? Maybe? Yikes, I'm really not sure. I have the bare bones planned but sometimes they take either longer or shorter than I think they will. Anyway, thanks for the feedback! Symbolicangel-- Hi! I'm glad you didn't see it coming! In a previous feedback Darth_Michael sure did! But then he thought it was too evil and twisted. *heh* Guess I'm a little more sadistic than I thought. :p Thanks for the feedback! Groobie-- Aghh! Men with pointy sticks. If my English essay would just write itself I could get back to this fic... *stares pointedly at Word document* But hopefully (for my sanity) I'll finish my essay soon and get right back to L and C! dedecasale-- Hey! Thanks for leaving feedback! I loved reading your comments as you went. You had all the right reactions! Shadow-- Not when your teachers are the Brothers of the Sacred Heart and the Society of Jesus. They were all getting up in years! Couldn't resist Hehe! Aww... I guess I can't imagine a Brothers of the Sacred Heart acting indecently. I agree. More angst! Though it does put me in a sad mood when I write it. *Sigh* But not as sad as my English essay. Thanks for the feedback! Tahu-- Thanks! Glad you liked it. Lisa-- Hey! I hate to interrupt this sweet scene, but I have to say if I were in Clark's shoes I'd ask for some proof. Surely he's smart enough to know that someone who hangs around with Lexy wouldn't hesitate to lie like this. Yup. That's the million dollar question I think... I don't think the thought's crossed Clark's mind yet. Unfortuantely, it will. Thanks for the feedback! Vonceil-- Aghh! I loved the clipart! Thank you for leaving the terrifying little friends at home though. They are... well... terrifying. Though certainly motivating. Hopefully chapter 10 will be up... sometime soon. Thanks! Catherine Bruce-- You are not! You're a wonderful beta-type person! I read your comments on each scene before I write it. They were very insightful and helpful. MAF-- Hey! Eee! Glad you liked it. Thanks for the feedback Elisabeth-- Hey! Thanks for the insightful review (again). Lois has some valid points about why Clark would be attracted to her despite of her apparent age. However, I deeply doubt that he will hear it from her. (Is it too much to ask for Martha to come in from the back bedroom? Yeah... That's what I thought.) *keeps Martha and her intuitiveness tied up in Smallville* Hehe. Clark and Lois are on their own with this one. Martha would make things a bit too easy. Thanks for the feedback! Sheila-- Darn skippy...she would. Now that's one dare that I would take...to seduce Dean...I mean Clark. Hehe. Me too! *half the fandom raises their hands* I love reading all your comments. I think they explain the scenes better than my own head does. I can see Lex Luthor in Lexy. I have made a connection here and I don't know if anyone else has or not. She comes across as being so sincere except to those who can see through her. She is the leader of a gang who puts her "goons" up to do her dirty work. She has money and connections. She hates Clark because he wouldn't be fooled by her deceit so she tries to discredit him. Am I getting warm here? Actually... I hope this doesn't discredit me as a fan fiction author, but I didn't even start out with making Lexy evil like Lex Luthor! I just knew a girl named Lexy who I didn't like... and... well... she found herself in my story! About halfway through I did a major hits self on the head and realized that she WAS like Lex! *walks off shaking head* Darth_Michael-- You did! I saw your post and I was like "AGHH! HE KNOWS!" Lol. I am very impressed. Ann- Hey. You made some really, really interesting points and I agree with a lot of them. As I said earlier, I did end this at a rather bad place. Perhaps if I had done it as I originally intended it wouldn't seem so... wishy washy. Things are extremely uneasy and Lois and Clark are both immature. Lois was being pretty fickle there by intending on going through with it and then changing her mind. I'm afraid that's probably going to have some repercussions. But Clark was definitely at fault with his long tirade too. *Sigh* I do miss the waff. It's so much less stressful to write. But anyway, thanks again for the review. I hope the next few chapters will clear up any qualms you have. Caroline-- I'm glad Ann's post helped. It helped clarfiy a few things in my own mind as well. You're both right about their maturity level. It's way down from the Lois and Clark from the show. I'm glad you're still enjoying it. Thank you. Thank you everyone. Chapter 10 to be up... after the English essay of doom is complete! (But I'm planning on finishing that today. So then I'll commit myself to writing chapter 10.) --Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Laura... Actually... I hope this doesn't discredit me as a fan fiction author, but I didn't even start out with making Lexy evil like Lex Luthor! I just knew a girl named Lexy who I didn't like... and... well... she found herself in my story! About halfway through I did a major hits self on the head and realized that she WAS like Lex! *walks off shaking head* Of course not, silly. I love your stories and you create your characters as you see them fit to be. I just wish you'd post more frequently! ~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
“Why you need to seduce Mr. Kent, that’s what, Lois.” Eeeeek! No Lois! You can't! She had made her decision. The case was the most important, if not only for her job’s sake but for the innocent kids at risk because of Lexy’s corrupt morals. And that was why she knocked on Clark Kent’s door at 10 p.m., wearing a short black dress and killer heels. No, no no!!!!! <sigh> It's not like I can't believe that she would do it... but I don't want to believe it. <sniffle> Poor Clark - it will finish breaking his already broken heart. Clark’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Please leave after I tell you this. You have nothing to fear from me. I just want you to be safe. I’m packing my belongings. I’m leaving Metropolis and you’ll never see me again. It’s better like this for you. But please, before I go, grant me this one thing.” <sniffle> Poor, poor, Clark! And then he confesses his love! <SOB> please keep the words in your heart and know that they were heartfelt. Let them comfort you when you’re sad. And when you find someone your own age who you can love back, remember them one last time and then forget. Forget me, Lois.” *choke*sob*sniffle* I think this is affecting me so much because of what she came there to do to him, even if she thought it was for a good cause. TELL HIM LOIS! EASE HIS PAIN! The tears weren’t staying behind her eyelids any longer. They streamed down her face silently and she could hardly bear to look into Clark’s face. The face of the man she had almost destroyed without another thought in her head. She chanced looking up into his eyes and they seared into her soul, a sad mixture of regret and anguish. She had to tell him the truth, the whole truth. Her job didn’t matter anymore. The kids at school didn’t matter. Lexy, Jill, their ridiculous gang. Nothing mattered. THANK GOODNESS! FINALLY! She swallowed nervously and continued. “And by and by, I got closer and closer to the gang. I stole test answers and manufactured fake IDs. I kept up the charade with them, but with you everything was so different. I was a different person around them, but around you, Clark, I was me. It was my outlet for all the stress of having this dual life. I felt connected with you. I don’t know if you can believe me, or if you’re repulsed by me, but Clark, please believe me when I say I love you too. Oooooh! How the tables have been turned in your story - it's Lois with the dual identity, looking for forgiveness from Clark <squeals girlishly> I love it! Lois slapped him across the face. WHAT!?! <starts hunting for her whip...> Clark paused. “Stupid? I don’t think anyone’s called me that for at least a good six years. Maybe since high school,” Clark finally smiled. “Are you sure you’re not 17?” Good, Clark. Show her how *stupid* she's being. Holy crap that was a hot kiss, Laura! Woo-hoo! And yay that Clark isn't going to run!!! “What was the meaning of all this,” he playfully flicked the strap and looked at her inquisitively. “The dress and the time, I mean.” Eeeek! Proceed with caution Lois, very cautiously... “My last test was to seduce you, Clark.” <slaps forehead> NO! NO NO NO! That was NOT cautious!!! <checks fic folder> Yippee! Part 10 is there! You'll have fdk by tomorrow, promise! <g> -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006
Top Banana
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
Lol DJ! All of your posts have just had me super excited. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story and this chapter. These multichaptered stories are so difficult to write! I've written them before, but this one has taken a lot out of me. I'm sure you know the feeling. Your kind words make me want to run and start typing again. Thank you! Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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