Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Ten Years in the Making (5/?)

Wow! I didn't ever think anything less than favorable about Clark. I knew that he had some issues with being afraid to tell Lois the truth and I am mad at him for waiting for ten years to tell her.

However, I can see where he was really more afraid than we ever knew. He'd been rejected by his best friend and his girlfriends.

I feel really bad for him but Lois has a right to feel the way she does too. I cannot what he should have done...or not...but allowing Lois to grieve...at Lana's suggestion, no less...was the wrong answer. I cannot say that he should have just told her because another rejection...by the love of his life, Lois Lane...I just don't know that his heart could have taken that.

In a sense, Lois did reject him, when Clark told her that he and Superman were one in the same and she banished him...away. She had no way of knowing anything except that he had hurt her, deeply. Lois had no idea that this was a redundance in his life of relationships. But at least he accepted Lois's reaction as anger and not rejection for him being who he was.

Thanks for the insight. But now, why did Clark collapse? Why does he have cuts on himself? Has the exhaustion compromised his invulnearability? Lois has to soften a little. There is a way to bring Clark back. There has to be. He's what 37...40 years old now? They need to correct this so that he and Lois can live happily ever after.

And bless Martha for taing the time to go and talk to Lois. I am confused as to how she got there, to Lois so quickly. Or maybe the time frame is confusing me.

Clark showing up exhausted and worn ought to account for something to Lois. It's as if he promised himself that he would make time for Lois no matter what.

Great job and I am desperately wanting more!

~Sheila

I have to admit I really fell in love with this story thanks to this chapter.

However, maybe I missed it but did Lois get her own place or is she still with Lucy? I just didn't want Lucy and her family to suddenly show up with a shocked sister, and a distraught mother and superhero hanging around.

The explaintion (from Martha) was a little long for me. It might have worked better in flashback form with Martha interjecting every now and then. Still, it was very good and explains a lot about this Clark's behavior and why he didn't tell Lois sooner.

More soon

~Lois Lane Wanna Be

You should know about me that I have been a "Lois and Superman" fan since 1969. That is how long I have been wanting Superman and Lois to get married. Over the years, I became convinced that Superman was really just playing a cruel game with Lois, and that he didn't really intend to marry her even though he pretended that he did. The movie Superman II finally broke my heart. That's where Clark first made love to Lois and then rejected her to the point that he even "raped her mind" and destroyed her knowledge of what had happened between them.

I have never really forgiven the character of Clark Superman Kent for the unnecessary heartbreak and suffering that he inflicted on Lois in the seventies and eighties. What the comic book character and movie character did affects my way of looking at Clark Kent from the ABC TV show. This means that I tend to look at stories about Lois and Clark Kent from Lois's point of view. I identify with her and sympathize with her. When I read stories where I think that Clark treats Lois badly, all my old resentment against Superman for his cruelty to Lois fills me with smoldering anger again.

So when I look at this story from Lois's point of view, I feel that Lois has had ten years of her life practically stolen from her. For ten years she was paralyzed with guilt and depression over Clark Kent's "death". And those ten years were those that were supposed to be the best years of her life, the years between thirty and forty.

I myself am fifty-two years old. I can feel myself getting older than I used to be. My eyesight, for example, is really declining. I'm physically more tired and have less staying power than I used to. I remember what it was like to be thirty, or, for that matter, what it was like to be forty: I felt strong, and a part of me felt as if I would stay this strong "forever". I didn't feel myself declining, and somehow I thought that such a decline would never happen. But now I know that I am past my physical prime, and I can look back at my life and say, yes, those were the best years of my life, physically at least.

My point is that life is short. A person's physical prime is short. And ten years is a horribly long time and a horribly big part of a person's physical prime.

By refusing to tell Lois about himself for ten years, Clark more or less stole ten of what ought to have been the best years of Lois's life. That's a horrible thing to have stolen from you. What, for example, if Lois wanted to have children? By now Lois ought to be thirty-nine years old. I recently read an article about the fertility of women, which claimed that women's fertility declines steeply after the age of thirty-five. Most women under thirty-five who have failed to conceive can be helped at fertility clinics; most women over thirty-five can not.

So why did Clark stay away from Lois for ten years? Well, do you remember what Adam said when God asked him if he had eaten the forbidden fruit from the tree of good and evil in the garden of Eden?

Right. Yes. It was the woman's fault. Or it was a woman's fault. More precisely, in Clark's case it was Lana's fault, because she was the one who told him that it would be a bad idea to for him to go to Lois and tell her that Clark was alive. Because if he did, then Lois, too, would undoubtedly react badly and think that Clark was a freak. Never mind that Clark survived because he was Superman, and Lois seemed to love and adore Superman. Surely she would resent Clark for being Superman anyway? And surely the fact that her whole life seemed to go down the drain as she grieved for Clark Kent was not something that Clark could be expected to try to remedy by going to her and telling her that Clark was alive? After all, Lana had told him he shouldn't, so how can we blame him for listening to Lana's bad advice?

Except I blame him anyway. As a diehard "Lois and Superman" fan, I dislike any relationships Clark may have with other women. I don't feel sorry for him because of his failed relationships with Becky and Lana, although I do feel sorry for Becky, who apparently had to die to save Clark from worry that she would spill his secret. Having to die for our hero's peace of mind is a steep price to pay. Anyway, if Clark likes another woman and chooses to listen to her and believe her, instead of listening to Lois and believing her, then I'm not going to sympathize with him because of that.

I'm reminded of what another writer said when her version of Clark was criticized. She admitted that his behaviour could be thought of as really questionable, but, she reminded us, this is Clark!!! Surely we all know that if Clark does something that seems bad then it can't be bad because Clark is a good guy who doesn't do bad things. Something that would be described as bad if it was done by someone else becomes all right if it is done by Clark Kent.

Except I don't buy that. In my opinion, a bad deed is a bad deed even if it is done by Clark Kent. And if someone does sufficiently bad things, then he or she is at least partly a bad person. (But you must remember how much I resent those things that Superman did to Lois in the seventies and eighties, and how ready I am to vent my anger at those past misdeeds on LnC's Clark Kent. I'm not exactly fair, because I generally have a lot less sympathy for Clark than I have for Lois in LnC fics.)

So I'm afraid that you are fighting a losing battle when it comes to convincing me that Clark shouldn't be blamed for what he did to Lois. That's what life is like, losing some of the battles, because no one can ever win every battle against every "opponent". All you can do in the long run is to do your things the way you like them best. That includes writing your own story so that you like it. The main reason I'm spending so much time arguing about it is because I feel a strong need to object to what I would call "Clark-centric" stories, the ones that ask us to forgive Clark for almost anything because he is Clark, but which ask us to feel a lot less sympathy for Lois. Or at least that is how I read some stories, but I'm not a disinterested party here, as I've told you several times.

Ann

P.S. Oh, by the way, this thing about Martha... You made me feel that Martha is motivated by her love for her son. It bothers her very much that Clark is in pain because of Lois's anger with him, so Martha spends a very long time explaining Clark's actions, or his non-action, to Lois, so that Lois will forgive him, so that Clark can be happy again.

But you didn't make me feel that Martha feels sorry for Lois for the ten-year grief that she suffered so unnecessarily. Martha isn't saying, "What was it like for you, Lois? Do you want to talk about it?"

This makes me feel that the readers are asked to feel sorry for Clark. We are asked to wish him well because he is feeling bad about having ruined a large part of Lois's life. And then, bottom line, it is Clark's grief that counts, not Lois's suffering.

Hmm, it should read

He showed no surprise, or even recognition, of his mother being there and said nothing for a moment. Then, without a word, he crumbled to the ground, dead.

Sorry but your whinny loser Clark is worse than the nasty selfish Clark you've been writing.

At least we know why the New Kryptonians never came for this Clark.


As for the media fury, I can't see it dying down because of some spin doctoring by an aging hack who is clearly serving as Superman's press agent.

Wow. Anonpip is taking a beating in this feedback folder.

Hey, don't worry! Patrick and Ann are both sincere and consistent, and they certainly have a right to express their opinions, especially on a topic as volatile as this one.

I, too, was surprised that Martha didn't ask about how Lois felt, but maybe Clark's knock interrupted that part of the conversation. (That's what I choose to believe, anyway.) But since she's Clark's mother, that's the side she's naturally going to lean towards at first. It seems that Lois and the Kents haven't had much contact since the shooting, so Martha won't have any real read on Lois's emotional condition except from the information Clark has given her.

And I do think that Clark made the wrong decision about Lois, but then that's the point of this story, isn't it? We can make bad decisions in our lives, and we can usually make up for them, but that doesn't eliminate the negative consequences of those bad decisions. Clark is facing those negative consequences, and his willingness to "report" to Lois after each rescue shows me that he's trying to figure out how to atone for his past actions. It's too bad that Becky failed Clark so badly (did you really have to kill her?) and Lana's actions are in line with the Lana most of us love to hiss at, and while I understand Clark's actions I still think they were wrong.

Clark did indeed maim Lois on a deep emotional level. As you've presented him, I don't think this was his goal, but that was the result anyway. Sometimes our actions have unintended consequences, and no one can foresee what will result from any one person's questionable decision. As it happens, Clark shot himself in both feet, his knees, one elbow, and at least three fingers with this knuckleheaded clunker.

But you're working towards a resolution. I have confidence that you'll figure out how to bring these two damaged individuals together so they can help each other heal.

But what could injure Superman like that? Did he run into a Kryptonite meteor in Australia? Or has Lord Nor finally caught up with him?

Stay tuned for the next chapter, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!

I was very suprised to read some of this feedback.

I feel that everyone has a right to an opinion and although both TOC and Framework's words are true, that doesn't always mean there is a "wrong" and "right" way to write up fictional characters.

I think this fandom is often spoiled with tales of Lois and Clark in love, happy endings and even when wrong choices are made, it always works out for the best.

Other fandoms tend to take their characters out to play a little more than we do on this board. I think changing the story dramatically is making more of a statement than the actual story itself (and thats not a bad thing). I, for one, am glad to see debating going on about these character choices and whether they are justified or not.

I hope the hard hitting comments do not discorage you, but help to fuel you to write more. I know how hard writing a story of any kind can be, and to put a whole new spin on a story we all know and love takes courage. You should be commended if not anything.

I like where this story is going. I hope the next part is up soon!

~Lois Lane Wanna Be

I also thought that Martha's explanation was a bit too expository for my tastes. That said, I really appreciate Lois' ambivalence and I'm hoping that this will keep for a while, since I feel that what Clark has put her through (even if unintentional) warrants it.

I also want to second LoisLaneWannabe's post that there is no "right" and "wrong" way to play with your characters. The premise is rough and painful, but I think that what matters is that you carry it through and that your characters remain consistent throughout.

In response to your author's note, I don't think it matters whether we think Clark is justified or not (whether making that decision means he's pond scum). After ten years, it's like crying over spilled milk. What matters more is that he own up to the consequences of his decision and that Lois too owns up to her own feelings about the matter be it resentment, anger, etc. Only then can they begin to work towards healing.

You have our attention, now keep writing!

cuts on his arms and face? but wouldnt that mean hes ran into kryptonite somewhere. i mean obviously he has and what caused him to crumble. i dont even know why im asking these questions as they will be answered in the next one.

Martha's explanation had me in tears. poor clark and also poor Lois. i hate that Lana, i hated her from the alternate world and you have just given me a reason to hate her in this world.

great part, i loved it, well done!

I'm not at all sure you want to hear more from me now, Anonpip, but I'd like to explain what you need to do to make me think of your Clark as a lovable lunkhead instead of pond scum.

You need to show me that your Clark loves Lois.

Oh, you don't need to show me that your Clark wants Lois to forgive him. That's clear enough. And you don't need to show me that he feels bad about the current situation, or that he has always been scared of being outed and dissected like a frog, or that he was wounded and scarred by his past rejections at the hands of his former girlfriends, or that he was tragically fooled by Lana. I believe all of that, too.

No, the problem is that I don't believe that your Clark loves Lois. Yes, I can accept - just barely - that he would not contact Lois for ten years, because he had managed to convince himself that it would be best for her if he didn't. I can see him telling himself that since Clark Kent is officially dead, then Clark and Lois can never officially be together. And, Clark might be telling himself, since Clark and Lois can't be together, it is probably better to let Lois grieve in peace and then get over Clark after a while and go on with her life.

That's a lunkhead's argument, but when Clark is being a lunkhead, he is still lovable. Because lunkheaded Clark loves Lois. I can be unbelievably irritated with him for his lunkheadedness, but I can't dismiss him or despise him for it. Lunkheaded Clark is a man who loves Lois and makes mistakes when he wants to show her his love. Lunkheaded Clark is never short on love for Lois.

But in my opinion, your Clark isn't like that. There is a very severe flaw in his line of reasoning, according to which it would be better for Lois if Clark didn't come and see her. I don't necessarily blame Clark for believing that it might be better not to contact Lois. But here's the rub. If he loved her, why didn't he regularly check on her, without actually contacting her, to see how she was doing?

If Lois's life was going to hell for ten years and Clark did nothing to try to help her, there can be only two explanations. One, he did check on her to see how she was doing, but it didn't bother him that she was going to pieces with grief over him. Or two, he didn't check on her, not once, for ten years. Is that it? He completely ignored her for ten years?

Is it possible to completely ignore a person you love for ten years?

Let me explain what I think of as the reason for Clark's behaviour. I think that Clark actually drew strength from Lois's grief. I think it comforted him that she was mourning for him, because that proved to him that she loved him enough to miss him all the time.

I think that in some respects, Clark was like a deadbeat Dad. (Or like a deadbeat Mom, since I told you about such a Mom in my comment on the previous part of your story.)

A deadbeat Dad is a person who draws strength from the sheer knowledge that he has kids. Having kids means that his own flesh and blood will live on after him. But at the same time, a deadbeat Dad will do nothing to nurture and take care of his kids. He dumps the care of his kids on someone else, getting satisfaction from the knowledge of his kids' existence, and giving his kids nothing in return.

Clark was like a deadbeat Dad who had "planted the seed of love" in Lois's heart. That seed of love kept growing in her heart. But when Clark abandoned her, Lois didn't get the care and nurturing that she needed to do well as the seed of love grew within her. Instead her love drained her, drawing her life force from her like a parasite. But like a deadbeat Dad, Clark could bask in the knowledge that Lois's love was there for him all the time. It was a completely one-way kind of love, with Lois giving and Clark receiving love all the time. And given this satisfactory arrangement - satisfactory for Clark - why should he try to change it?

But when Lois found out that Clark was alive and had been ignoring her for ten years, her love for him died. That way her love stopped draining her, and she started doing better and could look ahead in her life. So now Lois was doing much better, but Clark was doing much worse. For him the loss of Lois's love was a catastrophe. He could no longer bask in her love, drawing strength from her like he drew strength from the sun.

So now he wants her back? Because he wants her love back? For ten years he got that love for nothing, like an endless free lunch. Now he is willing to plead, cajole, grovel and look at her with puppy dog eyes to get his lunch back?

As you can see, I think of your Clark as an utterly selfish person. No, correction: I must admit that a person who is willing to dress up in colorful spandex and fly around the world to help people isn't utterly selfish, no matter how you look at it. But yes: I do think he has been utterly selfish in his relationship with Lois.

Let me add that I don't think you have portrayed Clark inappropriately or wrongly. The reason why I so easily get angry at Clark is precisely because I can remember so many stories from the sixties, seventies and eighties where I really thought that Clark was very cruel to Lois. Sadly enough, I have no problem believing that Clark can be heartless and egoistical in his dealings with Lois. So it's not wrong to portray Clark like that, but I certainly don't like him that way.

But is there a way to make me like your Clark better? Maybe there is. Convince me that he loved Lois during those ten years when he didn't contact her even though she was going to pieces with grief over Clark's death! Find a good reason for him not to have tried to find out how she was doing, not even once, for ten years!

Ann

P.S. I realize I made this sound like a challenge. But you have no reason to write your story simply to please me. So think of it, perhaps, as a question: How do you know that your Clark loves Lois?

A very good point.

My wife and I hit our thirty year mark earlier this month (8/6/77).

We looked around at all the people in our circles that got married when we did. Or shortly after we did.

Most ended their marriages some time ago. The man who was my best man is on his fourth marriage.

My wife and I have hurt each other countless times. But leave her? Never, because not seeing her would be more painful than any pain we have ever caused each other.

Thanks so much for all the comments! They really help me determine where to develop the story further. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in where I want things to go, I forget to slow down and develop where I am. So I appreciate all the feedback. Thanks!

Sheila -

A very short answer to this will be coming up soon - in the next part, which I'll be posting today. But please be patient, the full answer is at least a couple more chapters away.

If I didn't miss words in my writing (which I am prone to do) Martha didn't get to Lois until Clark was missing 2 days and one day after Lois called there. She got there by typical commercial means. Of course, this means she paid a ridiculous fee for this, but it was important to her, so that wasn't an issue. (While it seems unrealistic that farmers in Kansas would have no worries about money, they never seemed to on the show, so I decided to keep them that way here. Maybe they have a large inheritance from one of their folks.)

LoisLaneWannaBe -

Thank you! That was my hope. I hope the next chapter works in this way even more.

Again, I may have missed words, but Lois has purchased the place next door to Lucy and is now living on her own. I did that exactly for the reason above. The talk with Martha (and some of the things coming up) just don't work with Lucy and family around. And yet, I liked the idea of Lois still involved with Sammy's life, so I didn't want her to move too far away.

This was a fantastic idea! I think I'll change it when I archive it, but I thought people would probably prefer I work on the next chapter rather than rework this one, so I haven't done it yet. However, you'll see that I did use your suggestion for the next chapter, so please tell me if this was what you were picturing. I really did like it - not only do I hope it reads better, but I have to say, it actually "wrote" better as well. The scenes seemed to flow more easily as flashbacks.

Thank you! Many of the posts (like this one) do fuel me on to write more. I've determined that it's okay if not everyone loves my story or what I've done with the characters - I don't love all the stories I read, either. But of course, it's good to think some people like it. And it's the desire to make as many people like it as possible that makes me write more.

I know I'm going out of some people's comfort zone here and there are some people that will feel that there's nothing Clark can do to make it up to Lois after 10 years of silence. Being rather stubborn myself, I may feel the same way if it wasn't my story. But I like to believe that with enough time and understanding, people can get past their mistakes and move on. My hope is that I write this story so that moving on from this is reasonable and believable for most people reading this.

Aw, shucks! Thank you!

TOC -

I hope I am not writing this like I think Clark is blameless for his actions. I think this would be a cruel thing to do to anyone. However, I think all people have a tendency to be selfish sometimes, and so I do see this as a real possibility for Clark's actions - in the show, he didn't seem to have any intention to tell Lois the truth, so I don't think this is a stretch if he hadn't found a way to bring himself back.

That being said, I guess I don't see this as his "stealing" ten years of her life. While what happened would be horrible, people get up and move on from bad things. If having kids was important to Lois, this wasn't out of the question for her. Clark wasn't the only man on the planet who she could do that with. While I think it's easy to let depression and guilt overtake your life (as I've written Lois doing here), that doesn't mean you are blameless if that happens. Lois had options - she could have gone to therapy, for example, to try work through her feelings. If Clark had really died and Lois' life had played out the same way, would you blame Clark for dying? Lois is an adult and she makes her own choices. Of course, losing a close friend, and someone you think you may be in love with is painful, but it doesn't have to mean the end of your life.

Again, I'm not trying to paint Clark as blameless. My point when I said I hoped the last chapter made Clark seem less like pond scum wasn't that I thought it should read like "Look, it's not Clark's fault." As I said above about Lois, Clark is also an adult. He chose to listen to Lana and in so doing made a choice that was unfair to Lois. The point is simply that Clark is human and prone to make mistakes. The whole thing with Lana was to explain his reasoning - yes, it was flawed. But I'd hoped to show that while his actions were bad and his reasoning flawed, he wasn't purposely setting out to hurt Lois.

I agree, dying is a steep price to pay. But given that this story isn't about Becky and it would complicate things for her to be around, it made sense for me to kill her. But if this wasn't a story, she didn't die for Clark's piece of mind, she got run over. Bad coincidence. And since it's a story, I don't think killing off a small character is all that big a deal. I purposely did not kill off Lana and Adam, too. The point wasn't that anyone who knew Clark's secret had to die. It was that there were people who knew, but if they had the inclination to go public with this knowledge, the story wouldn't work. So, Lana and Adam are unlikely to do so as while freaked out by Clark's abilities, they aren't out to get him. I needed someone who was a bit more upset than that, though, and then of course I couldn't keep her around. I feel bad for her, too, but hopefully she wasn't around long enough for anyone to feel too attached to.

I, in no way, am saying "Please accept that Clark is good, because he's Clark." That was the point of this chapter - to give a sense of who Clark is. I recognize this effort didn't work for you, but I still think it's a little unfair to say that I'm asking you to like Clark simply because Clark is good. I'm not. I'm explaining why Clark made the choices he did. I hoped that in so doing, I made it clear that he is good, if misguided. But you are entitled to feel that I've failed in doing this.

While I am trying to generate a little sympathy for Clark, I am not trying to say we should feel less sympathy for Lois. I don't think I've written anything to paint Lois as the guilty party here. She was hurt deeply by something that Clark did. Just because I think his actions are somewhat reasonable given his past, doesn't mean that we shouldn't feel badly for Lois. She doesn't know any of this and has no reason to feel anything but hurt. Nor would I have any respect for her if she hears this and thinks, "Oh poor, Clark. I'm going to forgive him." She was wronged, and while Clark's reasoning may be understandable, he still owes her a pretty massive apology for what he's done.

Oh, she will. We're getting there.

Actually, yes, I do want to hear more from you. Comments like this are helpful. Actually, I am hoping my next chapter will go a long way towards showing that Clark loves Lois.

But, while of course, pure praise is great for my ego, I really appreciate comments on things I can do to improve the story.

Whose to say he didn't? But that's all I'm going to say on that. You'll just have to read the next chapter to decide if he did enough.

I hope not - that would make Clark much worse of a person than I believe he is, or hope he is in this story I should say.

Framework4 -

I am sorry you feel that way, but I have to say, my feeling at this point is that you simply don't like this story. That's fine; stop reading it. While I appreciate all feedback, and constructive criticism really improves my writing, I'm not sure what to do with a comment like this. Is there a reason "winny loser Clark is worse than the nasty selfish Clark"?

I'm not trying to be mean or petty and some of your previous posts have actually helped me determine where to add more detail to the story, but this comment doesn't really do that for me.

Terry -

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is exactly the take-away I was hoping for! Clark is a screw-up (a BIG screw-up) but he's not evil. I really appreciate your letting me know that you got that.

I hope so...

Alcyone -

Me, too. While the next chapter doesn't have any Clark/Lois interaction in it, I think/hope you'll read some things that will allow Lois to be a little less icy to Clark, but don't expect her to be welcoming him with open arms just yet. Regardless of his reasons, he was a jerk (to put it mildly) and Lois has way too much pride to let that go easily.

Sammie-

Sorry - actually not. There's a little bit left before this is explained in full. (I'll be honest, I haven't actually figured out all the details yet myself.)

I have to admit, that wasn't quite my intention. I think I may like Lana slightly more than others, though, and our preconceived images of people probably color our impressions of their behavior. I see Lana as someone who really does care for Clark, but just isn't open enough to accept him for who he is as a significant other. While this certainly makes her a poor match for Clark, I don't think she's awful. I guess I see Clark and Lana like a married couple who have an amicable divorce - they realize that while they love each other, they aren't compatible.

While her coming over after Clark dies means she gives him advice that ends up leading to his making a poor decision, she didn't come over to hurt him. She really is trying to protect him - she's just projecting her feelings to everyone else. But then, given that she's married to Adam who has similar feelings towards Clark, this isn't too surprising.

Thank you!


Again, thank you all for the comments. I need to polish the last chapter off one more time before I'm ready to post, but hope to do so tonight...

Good point. I think you are right. I tend to get a bit obsessive about things. This isn't the first time I've done this to someone.

Sorry.

Valid. Whinny is a poor choice of words. I believe your Clark is now exhibiting an anti-social behavior of the type described by criminologist Stanton E. Samenow as Thinking errors More on thinking errors

So I'm done. And I will not make comments on the rest of the story.