Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Top Copy 1/18?

Hi, welcome to the boards!

As for part one of your fic, it was well written, and it was... umm... short? If I counted correctly there were twenty-one lines, and the first line consisted of (I think) eighteen words. So if we assume that each line of your fic contains eighteen words, that would mean that this part consists of 21 x 18 words, 378 words. Not a lot.

I'm the resident staunch defender and supporter of Lois on these boards, and I always want to look at things from her point of view. So what interested me most here was the following quote:

Yes, me too! I'm wondering, too! Another thing you may want to know about me is that I haven't seen the LnC show. I'm here because I've been a diehard "Lois and Superman" fan since 1969. Because of that I don't know if Lois in the LnC TV show knew about Clark's dual identity during Top Copy. But one thing is clear - I want to know what Lois is going to say about this whole situation!

One more thing. Would Clark come to work just like that the day after his secret had been blown? Would he report for duty to Perry just like that? You know, like, "Did I forget to tell you I'm Superman, Perry? Well, I am... and now I suppose you want me to continue looking into that alleged graft business at City Hall?" Eh. Isn't that exactly what Perry would want Clark to do on a day like this?

And wouldn't the Daily Planet Building be beleagured by other reporters wanting to know more about Clark Superman Kent? Wouldn't everyone who knew Clark Kent suddenly be fair game?

Speaking about other things, this is a very haunting, captivating way of opening your fic:

Haunting. Wow.

Well, this is quite a situation! Come back with more soon. Give us chapters that are a little longer. And give us more of Lois!

Ann

Welcome to the Boards, Beth. Unlike Ann I'm probably the one person here who thinks that Clark was right keeping his secret for so long . But I think that's pretty much the only thing we disagree about.

But let's get to your story. I like the premise very much, even though I would agree with Ann here that the chapter is quite short. But a big YAY for the cliffhanger. I loved your last few sentences. They were powerful, especially the "never in the history of english language" - one. I can't quote here, because something about my PC is not right at the moment. Sorry about that.

I love Top Copy and I'm very curious which changes you made. Come back with more soon, Beth! Way to go!

Oooooo! What a very promising start! Where's the rest?

Great start to what looks like a very interesting fic.

Irene

I must chime in and welcome you also. This was a great prologue to your story. And the last line was both poignant and hilarious! I assume that the next few chapters will contain more information, but this one was a great teaser. It's like the first two minutes of an L&C episode before they run the opening credits and get into the meat of the story.

Just to clarify for Ann, at the time this episode ran, Lois did not know. Personally, I don't think she was quite ready for that knowledge at that time. I'm not sure she could have gotten past her own legitimate hurt feelings to see Clark's point of view on the subject.

Your descriptions are excellent. Your presentation of Clark's thoughts and feelings was so very intimate and revealing. And I felt the exposure metaphor so keenly! It was brilliant! Wish I'd written that.

So, when's the next (slightly longer) chapter going to be up?

Welcome to the boards!

I like the idea and the way this starts out - I'm looking forward to reading the next parts!

Wow! The writing here was very powerful and sucked me right in. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this is going.

Thanks for the great FDK guys!

Your right, this part is a little short. Don't worry, it will get longer in time, I just wanted to send out a bit of a teaser to start off.

Ann: No, Lois did not know in this epi. As for Clark coming into work, in my story, he's not really prepared for what Diana was to reveal. In the TV epi, he had a plan already laid out to prove that he wasn't Superman. He did this by getting his parents to project a laser hologram of Superman during a press conference while he appeared as Clark. In my story, Martha has no clue how to point a laser, and lacking that Clark had no other plan. He didn't really know that Diana had caught him changing on tape, so he didn't know that his whole secret was going to be outed in such a unquestionable way. He just came into work like any other time, maybe thinking that he might have to do some clever lying, but not knowing what was about to go on. Let's just say that it wasn't till he was in the elevator on his way up that he saw what Diana had managed to catch on tape

Hopefully that clears some stuff up about the action leading up to this scene.

Bakasi:I'm glad I got you curious, I just hope I'll keep you curious!

Terry: Thanks for saying it was hilarious! I always think that there's nothing like a bit of humor to break dramatic tension.

Thanks everyone for the great FDK! I'll probably have the next part up by tomorrow or so.

Hey, welcome, Beth!

This prologue is VERY interesting! I have to admit, I've got pickier about writing styles over the years, and yours worked perfectly for me–just the right amount of drama, interest, and humor. Hm, I'm not sure I've ever really thought about what would happen if Martha wasn't so tech-savvy, so I'm definitely looking forward to more!

JD

I can't wait to see how Clark responds to his co-workers. I've always thought that Lois at least suspected the truth in that episode given the look she gave at the end. I wonder what she will say to Clark now.

While this teaser shows some real promise as to what might be coming, I ususally wouldn't comment on something this short as there really isn't enough yet to make any coherent judgements on.

But I just had to chime in to take issue with something that TOC said.

"She's" the resident staunch supporter and defender of Lois on these boards?

Excuse me? Hello? Remember me, Tank, the Lois Lane obsessed old guy. The one who would be happy if all the stories just focused on Lois and relegated Clark to minor supporting character status.

The guy who cares enough about Lois to the point of always promoting her looking her best (ie: the proper haircut).

The man who has hunted down and purchased (some at great expense) every issue of the "Superman's Girlfriend - Lois Lane" comics.

Who else has about fifteen to twenty homemade T-shirts with the classic Schaffenberger Lois Lane on them? Who else has focused his comic book original art collection on pieces that feature Lois Lane?

Who... wait a minute... this guy actually sounds pretty pathetic.

Never Mind.

Tank (who apologises for his outburst and returns this thread to its original purpose)