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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544
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OP
Columnist
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544 |
Wow, Beth, this is coming along very nicely! I especially liked this line: But for tonight, he would sit on the roof of the house he grew up in, protecting the people who had protected him throughout his entire life. And I love the fact that Perry and Jimmy are so readily accepting of him, and that Lois isn't automatically furious. Instead, she's giving the situation some serious thought.  Excellent!
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Joined: Jan 2007
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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I'm at work and can't say much but just want to say I'm keeping up with your story and enjoying it very much. I'm a little sad that Clark can't have a regular life anymore but it's an intriguing story line nonetheless. I'm not sure if I've ever read a fic that had Clark (of this dimension anyway) having his secret found out by the world. Although some things are the same no matter what dimension you're in, it will be interesting to see how our Clark copes. Keep it up! 
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul.
-George Bernard Shaw
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 31
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Nov 2005
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Although Clark still exuded the same confidence that Superman did, the energy was less flashy somehow. Clark’s face was drawn with tension and he didn’t hold himself in the same broad, all powerful stance that Superman did. Instead of making the usual admonishing comments in a clear, ringing tone, he spoke in a subdued voice. I love this! It's like Clark is finally able to be himself - confident, superpowered, but still mild-mannered. This "revelation" may actually be good for Clark in a way, since he will be able to finally be himself instead of always pretending. Of course, he first has to eliminate the parent-and-Planet-threatening psychos. It is unfortunately impossible to get rid of the Lois-threatening pyschos. And speaking of... She didn’t even know about the gun until the echo of its shot was heard across the newsroom. Quickly, she turned to see the perpetrator, only to confront a large, tightly clasped hand, an inch from her face. ... Lois was curious. This was the first time she had seen Clark perform any kind of super-duties while not in uniform and she was interested to see the difference.
...
“No, Clark. ... I’ll be fine, I always am...." Lois, I don't think you even noticed you just came within a microsecond of death. :rolleyes: I’ll explain my side of the story, give them some good quotes, and then ask them to leave me alone. I’m not going to stop living my life as Clark just because everyone knows about me. Woo Hoo! Go Clark! More please! 
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Yes, very good! But at this, the good old fighter Lois Lane chimed in: he had hurt her, she argued. The lies he spun for public consumption had been for her too! He had left her in the dark about so many things. How could she just forget about that? At the same time, New Lois said, how many of her escapades were fully backed by him? Most of the time she just dived right in, expecting Clark to follow willingly. Maybe he deserved some loyalty in return. But this, Old Lois complained, was different circumstances.
...
At the same time, New Lois reminded her, they both knew that their relationship was more than just professional, that they were partners after they had left the Planet for the day. Could she put all her hurt feelings behind for the time being and support her partner, and friend, and maybe more? It went against Lois' nature, but how could she expect such loyal devotion from Clark when she wasn't willing to do the same thing for him? I love Old (Mad Dog) Lois and New (softer) Lois arguing about Clark! And hey, I think New Lois is winning! She didn't even know about the gun until the echo of its shot was heard across the newsroom. Quickly, she turned to see the perpetrator, only to confront a large, tightly clasped hand, an inch from her face. That hand was, of course, connected to her partner Clark Kent. Before she could even process what must have happened, Clark had sped across the room and was holding the shooter's hands behind his back in one hand and holding the gun in the other. Lois was curious. This was the first time she had seen Clark perform any kind of super-duties while not in uniform and she was interested to see the difference. Wow. Lois was an inch from being killed, but Clark saved her. And she is completely unruffled and matter-of-fact about it! So Lois! Anyway, what a dramatic situation, with Clark's hand an inch from her face, clasping the bullet that was meant to kill her! Although Clark still exuded the same confidence that Superman did, the energy was less flashy somehow. Clark's face was drawn with tension and he didn't hold himself in the same broad, all powerful stance that Superman did. Instead of making the usual admonishing comments in a clear, ringing tone, he spoke in a subdued voice.
“Why would you try a stunt like that? You knew I was here. You knew I would stop you.” The man refused to speak. Lois could see the sorrow over the man's attack evident on Clark's face. This moves me - Clark's quiet dignity and his sorrow over the the situation. “I'll come back later and take you home; you could be in danger too.” Lois shook her head. Although she would appreciate a paparazzi-free ride home, flying with Clark was much too close contact until she sorted out her very confused feelings over this whole affair.
“No, Clark. You need to watch out for other people. I'll be fine, I always am. Leaving Lois alone, just after someone has tried to murder her and others may very well come up with the same bright idea, is not necessarily a smart move. I love how Clark sat on the roof of his parents' house in Smallville, and how Jonathan climbed up to him, using a ladder. That's the kind of scene that was popular in the Superman comics in the late eighties and maybe in the nineties. Clark watched as his dad disappeared from view. Leaning back to lay on the shingles, he drank in the light of the stars. It was so peaceful here. Clark wished he could stay on this roof top forever, but he knew that tomorrow he would have to go back to Metropolis and take care of the mess that Diana Stride had left his life in. But for tonight, he would sit on the roof of the house he grew up in, protecting the people who had protected him throughout his entire life. A beautiful scene. Clark is sitting on top of his parents' house, very bodily protecting them. He is thinking about the mess he will have to deal with in Metropolis soon, but meanwhile, he is enjoying his solitude and peace and quiet and the stars shining down on Kansas. One of them may be his star. But Clark, methinks you'd better head back to Metropolis soon and protect Lois again! Ann
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
I can't say much right now, but I'm loving this story! All the introspection has been so in-character.
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 37
Blogger
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Blogger
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Hi!
This is a wonderful story! My favorite kind of stories are the revelation ones. This one is excellent especially since you capture all the many different characters so well.
Keep it coming! Thanks for making my day brighter with this story!
G. Kuhn
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700 |
Thanks everyone for giving me such great feedback! As a first time writer it's really important for me to know what's working and what isn't. Your comments have really helped me to re-evaluate my understanding of the plot and characters as well, which is a huge help as I write the next chapters! BTW, I feel that Clark here needs to be defended for leaving Lois alone so here goes: Remember that there are more people in danger right now than just Lois. I think his parents are logically the most likely targets now that everyone knows that Clark is Superman. Lois has been a target ever since Superman flew her into the Daily Planet. The way her and Clark's relationship is perceived by the public right now, I don't think her attractiveness as a target would change because of Clark's secret being out. Also, the shooter from that night did not say anything about about hurting Lois specifically, all he talked about was the Daily Planet. That of course could indicate that the Planet is the target, and Lois was shot at because she is a prominent employee of the Planet. In that light, any other prominent employees are also at risk. Right now, Clark doesn't know who is trying to get to him and why. He doesn't even know if the shooter was an isolated incident or if there's more to come! He's just trying to cover all his bases while coming to terms with his new circumstances Hopefully this will help remove Clark from the "dumb move" category, and will explain some of his actions from this chapter. Perhaps this should have been fully explained in the story, but at least I have to opportunity to do so here! 
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544
Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 544 |
Personally, I don't think that it was such a dumb move on Clark's part. He's making sure that the people who raised him are safe--I agree that they would be bigger targets for anyone wanting to get at Superman. But Lois is a close second, and knowing her, there's no telling what kind of trouble she could get into. So I hope that he doesn't leave her alone for too long, or even better, he should find a way to protect his parents and Lois at the same time. Just my two cents. I've really enjoyed this story so far!
Silence is golden.
Duct tape is silver.
~Saw it on a T-Shirt.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,864 |
Also, even though they've failed miserably tonight, the Daily Planet has security guards. His parents have none.
Elisabeth
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