PART FOUR
Unlike the other buildings Clark had hovered over in the last day, the Hall of Justice was not swarming with reports. Of course, it helped that no one was expecting Superman to turn up here. His apartment, the Daily Planet, and even the apartments of some of his colleagues were surrounded by reporters hoping to nab him as he came for a landing. He had followed Lois to work this morning to make sure that she didn’t come into any harm. He knew that she needed space from him, but watching her battle through the mob in front of the Planet was almost enough to get him to swoop down and pluck her from the crowd. Luckily, Franklin Stern had authorized additional security for the building and they were able to get Lois in while keeping the press out. Hopefully, security also would help to keep out any potential psychos. Clark had hovered over the building as long as he could, but he had other commitments to worry about today and he had had to leave Lois, trusting that she would be alright for a few hours.
Not many people knew about his long standing appointment with Mayson Drake, and those who did were not about to sell it to the tabloids. Since the trial for Baby Rage had been postponed after the incarceration of Martin Snell, Mayson had wanted to set up a meeting with Clark to prepare for the trial yet again. They had chosen this date weeks ago, and neither of them had had any idea that something as monumental as last night would have happened. But however chaotic Clark’s life was at the moment, he refused to let it interfere with something as important as testifying at a trial. Also, he knew that Mayson deserved an explanation just as much as Perry and Jimmy did.
The only problem was how to get into the building relatively unnoticed. Right now, he was all but invisible, flying above the clouds. As soon as he touched down, he knew he would be recognized. But it was important that he enter the building through the front door, at normal speed, on foot. This would show the world that he really did mean to continue as Clark Kent, average citizen despite the fact that everyone knew otherwise. Taking a deep breath, Clark arrowed down into a nearby alley and quickly spun into his street clothes, glasses and all. He then exited the alley and jogged up the steps of the Hall of Justice. He was careful to keep his head down and avoid direct eye contact, but it was not long before his acute hearing picked up on the furious whispers of those he passed. He was recognized instantly. As he entered the lobby, the whispering grew louder. It buzzed in his ears as a flush crept up his face. Thankfully, he spotted an elevator just as it opened up into the lobby, letting out a few passengers. He walked quickly as he crossed the remainder of the room, and slid into the quiet elevator car, the doors closing after him.
Almost instantly, he regretted his decision. There were only about three other people in the spacious elevator, but the piercing looks he received were enough to shrink a football stadium. One man with a briefcase and hair that pretty much screamed ‘lawyer’ cleared his throat.
“Excuse me,” he asked hesitantly, “but aren’t you Clark Kent? Or… Superman rather?” This was the first time he had been questioned about his identity in public. He knew that it was bound to happen constantly now, so there was no point in denying it.
“Yes, I am. I prefer to go by Clark though.”
“Oh, well,” The man cleared his throat again nervously. “I was just wondering why you’re taking the elevator.”
“I, uh, need to get to the fifth floor.” He gestured to the panel of buttons in front of them.
“Yeah, but couldn’t you just fly up to the window? Or at least run up the stairwell, you know… superspeed?” By this time, Clark was desperately wishing that’s what he had done.
“Well, yeah I guess I could, but I try to live a normal life as possible. I use my powers to help others, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get around like everyone else, or that I don’t do things that other people do, even if I don’t have to.” From the look on the man’s face, Clark could tell that he didn’t understand a word Clark had said. Thankfully, the fifth floor arrived quicker than expected, and Clark was able to exit the confining space. Was this the way it was always going to be? Unable to take a cab, buy groceries, or drink coffee without people questioning his need to do so? Sure, he didn’t *need* to do any of that stuff, but he enjoyed it. The monotony of everyday life allowed Clark to feel normal, and accepted. How would that change now that everyone thought it was all a façade? Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he approached Mayson’s secretary, who was typing on her computer, a look of complete boredom on her face.
“Excuse me; I’m here to see Mayson Drake. My name is Clark Kent, I have an appointment.” Immediately, the look on the secretary’s face morphed into one of absolute adoration. Clark shifted uncomfortably. Although he was used to getting these as Superman, it was disconcerting to be on the receiving end in glasses and a tie.
“Is it true?” she whispered. “Are you really Superman?”
“Uh…Yes.”
“Wow.” After a couple seconds of silence, Clark decided to remind her once again that he was here to see the Assistant DA. “Oh, right! Just a second.” She grabbed the phone, and pressed a button. “Ms. Drake, *Superman* is here to see you!” A pause. “Okay, I’ll send him in.” All this she did without taking her eyes off Clark, who was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. The secretary hung up her phone.
“Ms. Drake says to go right on in.” She gestured to a door on her right. Clark was all too glad to escape the stare of the secretary, so he wasted no time in walking through the door and into Mayson’s office.
* * *
Mayson was sitting at her desk when he entered. She didn’t even look up from her papers when the door opened, she just kept writing in a jerky, uneven script.
“So Superman,” she began, he voice heavily laced with sarcasm. “Now that the big secret’s out is that how you’re going to be introducing yourself from now on?” Clark’s stomach clenched. Mayson was obviously angry with him, and rightfully so.
“Mayson…I don’t…I mean, I’m not…I’m not like that Mayson, you know that, don’t you?” Mayson stabbed her paper forcefully, capped her pen, and snapped her head up.
“Why are you here Clark?” Her face was closed off, blank to him.
“The Baby Rage trial. We made an appointment…”
“Oh… That’s right, I’d forgotten.” She looked flustered, her embarrassment at the forgotten appointment clouding over her anger at Clark. “Come on and sit down.” There was a moment of silence. Clark could see the battle going on underneath the surface. She was struggling to maintain her professional attitude in what was obviously a professional visit. Eventually, her personal side won out.
“Do you remember when I first talked to you about this case?” she blurted out. Clark nodded. “I told you that you were brave to stand up and testify. That you were special for it.” Under her breath she added: “Stupid of me.”
“Why?” Clark was thoroughly confused.
“It’s not a risk for you to testify,” Mayson said incredulously. “You can’t get hurt, you can’t die. You invulnerable.” She spat out that last word as if it were poison. “You can’t take any risks because nothing is a danger to you.” Clark couldn’t believe it. He had though Mayson was one of the few who would actually understand.
“Mayson, do you have any idea what a risk it was becoming Superman?” She gave him a cold stare. Clark decided to take that as permission to continue. “Up until a year and a half ago, I was wandering the globe helping out in little minor ways, trying not to get caught while doing the best I could.”
“Yeah, I know, I read the article.” She waved a copy of the Daily Planet in front him.
“Well that article doesn’t go into some of the downsides of being too powerful. Not even a week after I became Superman, the Planet was invaded by rogue government agents looking for a way to kill me! They threw Lois out of a plane because they thought I *might* come rescue her. I’ve lost track of the number of times people have tried to manipulate me by any means necessary. Lex Luthor alone has tried to get rid of me dozens of times and dozens of ways, many of which have come dangerously close to succeeding.” Clark didn’t know what had gotten into him; maybe it was the stress or lack of sleep. Whatever it was, he couldn’t seem to stop talking. All the words and emotions flowed out of him in a nonstop stream. He stood up and began pacing the room.
“I have so much power, people are afraid of me. I don’t blame them. But to reassure them I try to… to project this image of infallibility. I show them a man with no chinks in his armor. That way people will trust me. But the actual fact, Mayson, is that I’m not perfect. I can make mistakes, hurt people, and get hurt myself. Every time I put on that suit I make choices, and take huge risks. Risks that have repercussions for others and for me. Can’t you see that?” He glanced over at Mayson. She was sitting, frozen, in her chair. “And even Superman isn’t nearly as vulnerable as Clark Kent is. I mean, Clark was killed last night when that videotape of me aired.” At this, Mayson was summoned out of her dazed state.
“What do you mean?” Clark paused, searching for a way to explain.
“When I’m Superman,” he began, “people don’t look at me.”
“What?”
“They look at what I can do. They look at my… strangeness. I’m not complaining. That’s what made the whole dual identity thing work. People don’t see Superman as a person. Part of that is because the whole appearing perfect thing I was telling you about, but part of it is because I am different. Not even human, technically.” He walked over to the window and peered down at the press mob that had gathered by the front entrance. No doubt word of his whereabouts had spread. He sighed. “I can handle that, for the most part. I always had normality back when I slipped on my glasses. But now, everywhere I go I get those looks. Clark Kent is dead because all people ever see now is Superman. The powers, the façade, the alien. People don’t understand me; they don’t see me as a person. I can’t even use an elevator without arousing suspicion! If no one understands why I want to use an elevator instead of fly up the stairs, how will people understand that I need human contact? For all purposes I am human Mayson, and I need to be able to feel like it!” He turned from the window to look at Mayson again, and was shocked to see her crying. Immediately, he rushed over to her, not yet daring to touch her.
“Oh, Mayson, I’m so sorry! I…I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.”
“Y-you were right though. Put me in my place.”
“I didn’t mean it in that way. It’s just this last day has been so crazy, and…”
“Clark, it’s okay. I’m glad you said all those things.” She sniffled a little and then continued in a slightly more steady voice. “All that stuff you said about Clark being gone, and no one seeing you anymore? I was acting just like that. I didn’t see you anymore Clark, and I’m so sorry…” She started crying again and Clark reached out and touched her shoulder. Gradually, she got herself under control again. “I guess the reason why I was so upset was because I fell for this great, perfectly normal guy, and it turned out he didn’t exist.”
“Mayson, I’m still-”
“No Clark, just let me finish.” She drew in a deep steadying breath. “You said Clark was dead. The truth is there never really was a Clark. At least, not the way you portrayed him. Clark Kent, as everyone saw him, was a sweet, simple guy. He avoided making waves, and he was a bit of a klutz. He wore glasses. Not to obscure his face so people wouldn’t recognize his alter ego, but because he was short sighted, or far sighted, or had astigmatism. It kind changed based on the circumstances.” Clark gave a tentative smile, but Mayson didn’t return it. “Don’t you see Clark? Even though most of what you said was true, part of you was still a bit of a lie. You’re not really a regular guy. You’re Superman.” She shifted away from his touch. “I need someone who has a job, and comes home having made the world a slightly better place. Not someone who runs out to make life or death decisions on a regular basis.” She sighed. “I’m not big enough to compete with that.”
“Mayson, I’m not asking you to compete-”
“I know you’re not Clark,” she interrupted. “But the fact remains that if I were to be with you long term, I would end up resenting Superman. I can’t do it.” She searched his eyes, looking for understanding. “Knowing you’re Superman has changed the way I feel about you Clark. I think I could love you, but I know I can’t love him.” She was quiet for a moment. “And I think you knew that, Clark. And that’s why you kept pushing me away.”
“I’m sorry Mayson.” There wasn’t much else he could say. What she had just said summed up everything that he had felt about her, but had been unable to put into words.
“Don’t be.” She smiled weakly. “You need someone who can love both Clark and Superman.”
“Mayson-”
“Don’t Clark.” She took a deep breath. “I think you should leave.” She stood up and started shuffling papers around her desk. Clark made a motion to reach for her, but the look she shot him put an end to his attempts. Quietly, he walked to the door, opened it, and left.
