Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: early revelation: top copy 4/12

Wish I had time to leave proper feedback, but would just like to say that I am loving this story so far... well done Beth, keep up the good work

Awww! Poor Clark!

I'm really enjoying this story. You're doing such a good job of it! (heck, I dislike Mayson something serious, but I think you did a wonderful job with her in this part! well done!!)

I like how you explained that it's because people only really see Superman's powers that the dual identity really worked - that makes so much sense. And how you described what it is for him to be human and what he's lost now that people know he's Superman.

I'm really looking forward to the next part!

A very interesting story.

There were some really good things in this instalment; like Mayson's admission of her dual feelings for Clark/Superman and her touching on the fact that 'Clark' wasn't really real either.

Still, this instalment had some confusion that needs to be cleared up. First, Mayson suddenly is explaining why she can't 'be with him' to Clark, infering that he was looking for a relationship with her. It seems to come out of left field since Clark has never implied anything more than friendship with Mayson. I think you need a little something from Mayson to bring the conversation to their personal feelings for each other. Maybe something along the lines of Mayson saying that she knows that Clark hasn't actually said that he wanted a relationship with her, but that she has always had deeper feelings for Clark and desperately wanted to be more than just his friend, but that has changed now. Then she can go into her explaination.

The other thing was the reason Clark was there in the first place. He was scheduled to be deposed about the Baby Rage incident, but left without making any statement. Perhaps Mayson can dismiss him by saying that Baby Rage's lawyer would be able to label him as a non-credible witness stating that Clark/Superman has been lying to the public for years, who's to say he isn't lying now. Mayson may not really like Superman, but she doesn't want his veracity to be publicly dragged through court. It would only hurt his ability to help people in the future.

All and all this is a very good story. I'm very interested to see where this can go and how it will everntually effect and impact the lives of 'Clark Kent' and more importantly Lois.

Tank (who thinks that Lois could use a nice haircut as a distancing tool with Clark, but it will backfire because it will make her look that much better to him)

Other than the haircut suggestion, Tank's advice is spot-on in my opinion.

I loved this instalment, but at the same time, the two points that Tank mentioned were noticeable to me as well.

Irene

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mayson. I hate it when other characters think Superman has nothing to risk.

But I'll partially give her that one. He's Clark, but it's like eating peanut butter without the jelly. Half the sandwich is missing.

Annnnd they end up fighting over something else and not what either of them met for! I think it's ok as long as something happens in the next part to explain it.

Great part!
JD

Ouch! Not only does a guy have his worst nightmare come true, but then he gets dumped as well.

I thought Mayson's breaking up with him was quite possible. She always was a step ahead of him in the relationship. She always made assumptions that he was on the same page with her, whether or not he was.

I, too, noticed that he left without preparing for the trial. Under the circumstances, I figured someone would get in touch with him later.

Elisabeth

I thought this was awesome, Beth!

The interchange with Mayson seemed very in character for both of them, and the whole thing was just very believable.

Wouldn't you know this part reminded me of how much Clark irritates me when he shows much of an interest in Mayson?

Since Clark is so skillfully lying about himself, I can't get angry at Mayson for taking him at face value and thinking that he's nothing but a handsome and successful reporter in glasses and a loud tie. I can understand her falling in love with that aspect of him and dreaming about a future with this purely human Clark. I can sympathize with her for feeling betrayed. Either Clark has just been using her to make Lois jealous, cruelly toying with Mayson's own feelings, or else he was deluding himself into believing that it didn't matter if Mayson disliked Superman as long as she loved Clark Kent. Oh, Clark, how you dismissed and despised Lois's love for Superman, thinking it was nothing but a stupid crush, and her love for you wasn't real unless you made her love a person that doesn't exist, non-superpowered Clark! What arrogance and what a load of baloney.

Anyway, Beth, this wasn't meant as a criticism of your story! I love your portrayal of all the people here, but particularly of Lois and Clark. You really, really made me feel for Clark in this chapter - hey, I have never questioned his right and need to keep his dual identity a secret from the world, just his right and need to keep it a secret from the woman he is wooing....

But for your Clark, life is all but intolerable right now. And I really have to wonder if there is a way to make things better. I once read a book about Elvis Presley's life, and I was struck by the fact that the poor guy could never show himself anywhere without being instantly recognized. Think of it. It would be beyond horrible. No wonder the guy secluded himself with his retinue of loyal supporters and his junk food and his drugs. At the very least Elvis got very handsomely paid every time he made a scheduled appearance. What will happen to Clark? Can he keep working as a reporter at all? How will he make a living? Will he start charging for his services as Superman? Or will he shed all normal human existence, living off sunlight, nesting in the trees and sleeping while in flight, as some birds do?

But there is one person whose loyalty Clark can count on, as soon as her shock and anger at his lies have worn off - Lois. She will not abandon him, that much I'm sure of.

What a fascinating story, Beth!

Ann

P.S. Oh, and - just so you don't think I blame Clark for everything hat goes wrong in LnC stories! Of course I was angry at Mayson in this part. But the most interesting thing about her reaction was not that it was thoughtless and stupid and cruel, which it was, but that I think it would have been so typical. Humans have an unbelievable ability to take things for granted. Give us Superman, and so many of us will start taking his unpaid, totally altruistic services for granted faster than we can yell "Help, Superman!" If Superman had existed, so many people would soon start asking themselves why he didn't help out at an accident site rather than why he did help out. And so many people would think, just like Mayson, that Superman wasn't all that much of a hero since his invulnerability meant that he didn't take any risks at all. When in reality he risked something as precious and invaluable as his inclusion in the human race for his selfless services.

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your feedback everyone. It's been a busy week.

Would you guys believe it if I told you I HAD put in a bit explaining the whole "Clark leaving without doing anything about the trial" thing? I had changed the ending to this chapter because I felt it left too much of a friendly feeling between Mayson and Clark. It just seemed too fake to have this scene full of tension, and then have these two characters suddenly switch back to talking abou the trial. I thought that Mayson sending Clark out was a bit more in character, but I see that left everyone a little confused. In the original version, they agree to reschedule at a later time, but I like your suggestion Tank, of Mayson telling Clark that he would no longer make a good witness. It just adds to the number of things that have been taken away from him. Excuse me while I sneak off and put it into my story, pretending it was there all along...

And as long as we're talking about Mayson, I've always felt that she was overly aggresive in her chase for Clark. She shamelessly threw herself at him, and I felt she often assumed that there was more between them then there actually was. Clark, being the nice guy that he is, isn't about to correct her as she's sobbing at her desk.