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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687
Pulitzer
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OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
I'm combining my feedback for both in one thread. Hopefully, that's OK. Since one is the second part of the first and all of that... Mona, first of all *yay* on posting your first story!!  May I suggest you change the message icon to a little blue arrow on your posts? (edit the entry and then change that, right under the title) It will make your story easier to notice for everyone.  I think you did a good job of portraying our favorite couple in this. I like how Lois was a little freaked out about things - that's very much like her. And Clark is just his usual sweet and caring self, and we love him this way. The second part was really very sweet. You did a great job with Klein, by the way - I could totally see him confused when he asked what Superman was doing there and then his reaction to the truth was so very amusing. Very much like the character on the show! The ending was sweet and waffy and... awww! just perfect. Nice work, especially for a first story. Oooh! And I think this fit the request really nicely, too - which, trust me, I know how hard it can be to give someone what they wanted. (huh, Sue?!!) 
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
Everybody deserves a feedback thread, especially when it's your first fic, but Lara beat me to it just now!  Well done for taking the leap and posting!  so it was so nice to be able to sit in bed with my laptop and enjoy a little bedtime reading. Thanks. As for part 2, triplets?!!  Poor Lois! Way to freak her out! I have two words for you Clark: Snip, snip! Bernie, where's that Kryptonite! 
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Well, you know, I always love it when Lois is pregnant with Clark's child! And hey, here she was having three of his kids all at once! You bet I was happy about that! Here are two of my favorite quotes: The three Kents laughed and Clark gave his wife a quick kiss. And then with a glint in his eye he said, “If you are good, maybe I'll let you have some of *my* cake!
“Well if *you're * good, maybe I'll will share some of *my* piece with you,” replied Lois seductively.
“You will, will you?” Clark's lips whispered against Lois' ear. I love their naughty banter! So sweet. This, however, is my favorite quote from this fic: Back home in Metropolis, after putting away Clark's gifts and leaving the crib in what both hoped might one day become the nursery, Lois made good on her earlier promise of giving her husband that * private * gift. Afterwards, the couple snuggled together in their bed and Clark was nearly asleep with the hint of happy smile playing at his lips. Lois sighed as she watched her handsome husband sleep peacefully and for the millionth time thanked the stars above for bringing her Clark Kent. Beautiful!!! It's adorably sweet and sexy and just heartwarmingly loving and WAFFy. I love it!!!! So I, too think this was a very nice first fic, and parts of it were absolutely irresistible! Ann
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 655
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 655 |
 I have a big smile on my face right now, thank you everyone. I am very glad you enjoyed the story. Laramoon, thank you and for the icon. The Dr. Klein vision was what made me write that second part. In the series, I always felt (keep in mind my memory of the series is lacking as I have not seen L and C since it was originally aired)his character came through as more of a nutty professor than one with any true bearing. Although it was apparent he had Superman's best interests always at heart. I just wanted to explore that. Plus, as some of you know already, I really wanted to explore possibilities for the end of Kryptonite and thought why not let old Dr. Klein be the one to finally at least try for a possible cure and as Perry might say byt he grace of Elvis he dd. I added two cute little blue arrows as you alos suggested. gr8shadesofelvis, a definite to cigarretee sick; glad you are away from that now. Aw, thank you. Originally she was going to * just * have twins but in the end I opted for 3. I have no idea why, it just felt right. TOC, lol the cake.Laura helped me fix up that particular exchange. You know, for the relatively quiet gal I am, although I definitely admit to always being guy crazy and yes Clark crazy too, it was amazing how easily the uh naughty hints flowed from my fingers. They were fun to write. In fact, I happen to have an idea or two of a "cooking lesson" story, that would be an n-fic if anyone out there wants to join me. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far and again to Laura for being my beta. Mona
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
Yay! You posted. I've been so swamped, I've barely had time to log on, but I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading the story. You already know most of my comments, but this story was so sweet and devilishly funny. great job! Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 844
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 844 |
OMG!!! I love it! Thank you so much, Mona! I am so excited about how you wrote this! Your depiction of Lois' fears about becoming a mother were spot-on. I can only imagine how she must have felt about finding out she was having triplets!  Thank you for writing this for me! /me motors away to finish her own ficathon story, ROA 5 and G&L 10 before the calvary comes after her ...
Clark: "You don't even know the meaning of the word 'humility,' do you?"
Lois: "Never had a need to find out its meaning."
"Curiosity... The Continuing Saga"
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 655
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 655 |
 Editor Jax, liked it. Thank you also for your kind words. Mona
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