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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
I hope the last chapter wasn't seen as a misstep. Let me know what you think of this one!
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 177
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 177 |
It's great Shayne. I just want MORE!!!!! Poor Lisa.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185 |
Ditto!! Poor Lisa, Lois, and Clark--none have had the life that they shoud have up to this point. PLEASE -- I knowt there is bound to be more angst--let there be a happy ending.
Vonceil
Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
A misstep? Shayne, it was fantastic! Lois and Lisa now know who Lisa's father is! Lois and Lisa both know why Lisa isn't fully human! And Clark has seen Lois again!
I love, love, love this setup. Wow!!!! I just want to read more. Has Clark truly been avoiding Metropolis? Will he bolt now that he has seen Lois? When will he learn about Lisa's existence? What will he meeting between Clark and Lisa be like?
Wow!!!! Amazing! Please post more soon, Shayne!
Ann
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 18
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 18 |
I have to echo Ann here. I am very intrigued by this premise, and, as always, your execution always leaves me clamoring to read more of the story. This is engrossing, and I can't wait to see where you go next with it.
Hutch
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Shayne - this is fantastic. I loved part 2 - the schizophrenia etc. DH works in a residential facility for kids with problems [though not that severe] and used to work in a mental health hospital for kids and they actually had a padded room on each floor for when the kids were just out of control. I can imagine Lisa's fear at ending up in a place like that or worse as they didn't deal with severe cases there either.
I get that Lois' life has been hard [and Lisa's too] but I'd like to know more about it. She doesn't get paid sick days, could only recently afford a place of her own etc, but what is that she does? A waitress comes to mind. Sales at the local mall, etc. - I'd like to know more and I'm sue you'll tell us. I'm also wondering where they're living [I know it said Supes wasn't in Metropolis, but was Lois? Did I miss that?] and how they got together enough cash to go to Colorado [or is that where the event was? Was just the founder guy from there and the event was somewhere else?] or was it worth breaking out a credit card to try to get to Supes even if that's not something she's normally do?
More soon!!!!
Carol
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 454 |
Wow, Shayne, this is such an intriguing storyline! I just now read all three parts and I'm hooked.  Looking forward to part four. Ursie
Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.
Clark: You're high maintenance, you know that?
Lois: But I'm worth it!
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303 |
wow what a great premise! I love your writing style too--can't wait for more.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
I told it would be better than what I came up with! Told ya! Nyah-nyah-nyah!
Really, it was great. The car trip? Been there, riding with a silent teenager. (Of course, mine never had Lisa's reasons.) And I liked Clark's shock when he suddenly spotted Lois in the crowd. And I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that he's agonized over that one night ever since it happened fourteen years ago. Boy, is he in for a shock when he meets Lisa. I only hope that Lois and Lisa let him take it private.
Great story, Shayne! I'm going to send my muses to intern with yours. Maybe I'll get some better ideas.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 795
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 795 |
I just read all three parts and got addicted. I want more! 12 years without a father... poor Lisa. I hope they find a way to let the past behind and start a new life together. somehow, somewhere,... they just have too. They are a family 
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
So Lisa was always going to be alone. Oh  Lois’s job was to protect her little girl, and she’d failed. The writing cuts quick and deep... terrific!  The woman he’d wanted to forget…and had never been able to. Clark remembers her.. yay 
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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