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This story is for Saskia. I hope she enjoys it. And of course I hope you'll all enjoy it as well.

Thanks to Lara Joelle Kent for beta-reading

Silent Regrets

He really should learn to say no once in a while, Clark thought remorsefully and stifled an earth shaking sigh. What was he doing here anyway? Hadn’t he vowed to himself that he would no way help Lois prepare her wedding unless he was the groom? But Jimmy had looked at him *that* way and Clark hadn’t managed to make up a good excuse why he was too busy to help a friend. After all, he was unemployed and they had already spent all day hunting Lex Luthor. There was not much else he could do any more anyway. Moreover, he was the worst liar the world had ever seen. Not even for the sake of his own sanity could he think of something to spare himself this incredible… This time he couldn’t prevent the sigh from slipping out which caused a few people to turn their heads, appalled.

An older man right next to Clark gave him a pitiful and understanding glance. He, too, held up a sign and seemed to be waiting for someone. But then, who wasn’t for they were standing at the arrival gate of Metropolis Airport?

“Your mother-in-law?” the older man asked sympathetically and pointed at Clark’s sign that read Ellen Lane.

Clark shook his head. “If only she was,” he muttered almost longingly, more to himself than for anyone else to listen. “She’s just the mother of a friend,” he explained aloud and sighed again.

This should be Jimmy’s job, he mused grumpily. After all, Lois had asked him to expect her mother at the airport. She had lured him by offering to take her car and allowing him to borrow it for some more time than he would need to pick up her mother. Unfortunately, there had been a girl with so incredibly long legs that Lois’ car didn’t stand a chance. Those young guys were far too precocious for Clark’s taste. Right now he missed the days when anything motor-driven had been far more interesting than a female pair of long legs. If there had ever been such times, Clark admitted silently.

“You shouldn’t sound so desperate! Women are great unless you marry their daughters,” the older man pointed out. He had obviously heard the first part. “No one in his right mind should be sad about not having a mother-in-law,” the man replied and grinned knowingly.

Clark made some sound the man next to him could understand the way he pleased. He wasn’t keen on having this conversation, but he didn’t have the heart to go away either. The older man continued to tell Clark stories about his in-laws, but Clark didn’t listen. Now and again he muttered something that could be approval as well as disapproval, trying to pretend he was paying attention. He could only hope Lois’ mother would show up soon. Clark had better things to do than to stand there waiting. Like catching Luthor before it was too late, he thought grimly.

As if someone had read his thoughts, the arrival hall filled with life as a large group of passengers entered, carrying bags or dragging suitcases with them. Clark held up his sign and searched the crowd for a woman who could be Ellen Lane. He had never seen her, not even on a photo. Lois was not exactly a family person, which made it all the more stunning that she had accepted Luthor’s proposal so quickly. Not even in his wildest dreams had Clark considered this possible. Yet, he was waiting for another man’s mother-in-law-to-be.

Ellen Lane was a woman in about her late fifties. Clark would have known it was Lois’ mother even if it hadn’t been for her approaching him quickly. There was a fierce expression written all over her face that strikingly resembled Lois’ when she had just turned into Mad Dog Lane on the pursuit of a possible Kerth Award. For a woman who had come to attend her daughter’s wedding she looked rather annoyed. Clark wondered if Ellen Lane was determined to live up to all the prejudices people had concerning mothers-in-law. Maybe the older man wasn’t wrong after all. Maybe Clark should consider himself lucky.

“You must be Jimmy,” she said. “My daughter of course doesn’t have the time to pick up her own mother. Well, what do I expect? Her husband-to-be is more important to her than I am. But that will change soon enough, really, until she learns what the life of a married woman is like. At first the guy you choose carries you on his hands and you think you’re in Heaven and then he dumps you for a chick in an indecorously short nurse dress. Or a cyborg for that matter,” she muttered surly.

“Um, Mrs. Lane, I am Clark Kent, Lois’ partner, uh, former partner to be precise,” Clark corrected her and took her suitcase. “Jimmy didn’t have time and so he asked me to take you to your hotel. Lois reserved a room for you in the Lexor Hotel.”

“The Lexor Hotel?” Ellen Lane replied with a hint of anger. “I should have known! After all the years I cared for her you should think that maybe my daughter would like to have me at her place. After all we haven’t seen each other in months. But no, of course she rather affords a room in an expensive hotel than having me anywhere nearby. This is just so like my ingrate daughter.”

“Her apartment is rather small,” Clark threw in, trying to defend Lois, though he really didn’t know why.

“Nonsense,” Ellen disagreed. “Now take me to Lois,” she ordered and stormed off towards the exit. Clark hurried to keep up with her. “I really don’t know what this is all about. I mean, she called me only the day before yesterday and told me she was going to get married in three days. I must have made a mistake while bringing her up or she wouldn’t just go and make the same mistakes that I made. A large wedding,” Ellen snorted. “Well, at least she has chosen a rich man. I can only hope she is smart enough not to sign such a stupid form saying that she will foreswear any money when they get divorced. But Lois has always been a smart kid.”

It went on that way. Clark didn’t even try to interrupt Ellen’s ranting. It was obvious that Lois had inherited her babble gene from her mother. But listening to Ellen Lane was not half as pleasant as listening to Lois was. There was something so utterly frustrated about Lois’ mother that Clark really started to wonder how Lois had managed to maintain her optimism.

“Um, Mrs. Lane, maybe you could tell Lois all this. I think she’s making a mistake by marrying Luthor, but she won’t listen to me. She just doesn’t know him well enough,” Clark said as Ellen was pausing for a moment.

She laughed dryly. “Are you making fun of me?” she asked. “I’m an alcoholic, I got divorced, and I’m just her mother. It’s not like I’m the person she wants to discuss matters of heart with. If I’m not completely mistaken there, you are her best friend. The last time we had something that resembled a conversation she mentioned you all the time. I’m really wondering why she’s marrying this Luthor-guy, instead. Anyway, he most likely is the better choice…” she paused and pensively eyed Clark, louring his sloppy appearance.

Ever since he was hunting Luthor Clark hadn’t worried too much about his looks and that clearly showed. Ellen had to have seen the disappointment flash across his face when she had dismissed the idea of him as a possible son-in-law, because when she continued her voice sounded a lot less contemptuous. “…at least when it comes to the money Lois could gain after the divorce. I can only hope she’ll spare herself the years of neglect and betrayal and gets directly to the point.”

Clark didn’t know if he liked Ellen Lane. Her view of life definitely differed from his, but at least she wasn’t defending her future son-in-law. That kind of relieved Clark, though he seriously doubted that she would change her mind and become his ally, helping him to convince Lois that Luthor was evil.

They stopped at Lois’ car. The whole way through the parking decks Clark had heard various stories on evil men in general and Lois’ father in particular. Clark had started to wonder if marrying was such a good idea after all. Not only because being Ellen Lane’s son-in-law would put him at the receiving end of her anger. There was more. Listening to Ellen’s ranting made Clark feel sorry for all those poor women who were suffering from their husband’s lack of time and interest. Would he become one of those husbands? Would he treat Lois with as little respect as Sam Lane had obviously treated his wife with?

“Where is Lois now?” Ellen wanted to know.

“I guess she is with Luthor,” Clark said, unable to hide what he thought about that. “Shall I take you to her apartment? I don’t have keys, though, so you’d have to wait until she returns. Or would you rather stay at the hotel?” Clark hoped she’d choose the hotel. He was tired of fighting with Lois. He had done that more than once in the last couple of days. Her mother would only add to the trouble.

* * *

“Oh, no I won’t!” Clark said in a voice that would have scared the boldest thug.

It did nothing to intimidate Ellen Lane, and he seriously doubted that wearing the Suit would have done anything to increase his chances. Clark wondered not for the first time that day what he was doing there anyway. It was downright ridiculous to consider Superman being dragged somewhere he didn’t want to go, least of all by a woman who barely came up to his shoulders. Yet, this was what was happening. Although he had been declining her *offer* to accompany her to Lois ever since he had parked the car close to Lex Tower, he was now standing right in front of the elevator that would bring them directly to Luthor’s penthouse. This virtually was his last chance to escape.

“Yes, you will,” Ellen Lane repeated the argument she had used all the way there. It was imperative albeit pointless and Clark had made more than one futile attempt to escape. She grabbed his sleeves and ushered him in the elevator; leaving Clark with the certain realization that only one thing about him was super today. He was a super fool.

The whole way up Clark entertained the thought of just crashing through the thin walls of the elevator. Nothing could hold him back, not even Lois’ determined mother, if he really wanted to escape. Nevertheless he remained at her side, which - in all honesty - could only mean that he subconsciously wanted to meet the happy couple. What a moron he was.

Sooner than Clark thought possible, the elevator stopped and a soft tinkle indicated that they had reached the top floor. The doors opened and Clark made the first step into his waking nightmare, Ellen Lane right by his side.

“Mother,” Lois said, her voice clearly lacking any sort of enthusiasm. She obviously wasn’t surprised to see her, or him for that matter. But that was only reasonable since they had to announce their coming in order to get to Luthor in the first place. “Clark.” She sounded guilty, almost regretting, but Lois’ pride wouldn’t allow her to admit that. Thus, Clark couldn’t but hope that he wasn’t misreading this. “Why didn’t you go to the hotel, you must be tired after your flight.”

Her eyes seemed to ask him why he hadn’t forced her to go there, but she didn’t say anything, probably because she was aware that he had tried. Or maybe she thought that she no longer had any right to ask him a favour. After all, the last time they had parted they hadn’t exactly been friends, though Clark regarded Lois as such, no matter what she had said or done. He wouldn’t let her down, whether it was about rescuing her from Luthor or sparing her an unpleasant encounter with her mother.

Ellen Lane visibly fumed. “Is that all I get? Mother, why didn’t you go to the hotel?” she mimicked Lois. She was unaware of the silent conversation Clark and Lois had had, while staring at each other. And how could she know that they hadn’t met in days. Much less did she see the sadness in their eyes or the twinges of remorse that clearly showed on both their faces. “I interrupted my well-deserved holiday for that wedding of yours and you don’t even welcome me?”

“Sorry, mother. It’s nice to see you, I’m glad you came,” Lois said and placed a peck on her mother’s cheek. “Thanks for taking her here, Clark. I assume Jimmy is busy otherwise.” Clark merely nodded in return.

“Where is that fiancé of yours?” Ellen asked curiously and looked around as if she expected to find Luthor hidden underneath one of the expensive Ming vases.

“He’s… he’s busy,” Lois replied with a hint of anger in her voice. “He is doing some series *K*, which he refuses to tell me about.”

Clark was glad to hear some of Lois’ famous determination in her voice that indicated she was not going to be content with his lack of explanation. Lois would find out about this series whether Luthor would like it or not. The man had challenged her reporter instincts, which was about time. As if reading his thoughts she sent Clark a silent warning which could as well have been a plea not to address the topic.

“See? He already got started neglecting you, Lois. Did he also make you sign a prenuptial agreement?” Ellen asked and shot a knowing glance towards Clark. “Ahh, I knew it,” she continued, although Lois hadn’t given her any indication whether Luthor had indeed asked her to sign such a form. “He’s not good for you. Not that any man would be, but I warn you Lois, make your escape while you still can.”

Never had Clark imagined he would one day witness that someone rendered Lois speechless, particularly not her mother. But while Ellen kept on telling Lois how bad men were, ignoring the fact that she had dragged one along with her, Lois opened her mouth now and again, trying to say something. Whether she attempted to defend Luthor or wanted to say something entirely different remained a mystery to Clark, because Ellen Lane didn’t stop talking, not even for breathing. Clark wondered if even he could have spoken that long, but the topic obviously was too important to Lois’ mother to waste any time breathing.

Some time later the monologue had turned into a heated argument. It obviously didn’t matter that neither woman thought about Luthor as the innocent knight in shining armour. They just seemed to enjoy arguing. Clark no longer wondered why Lois hadn’t picked up her mother herself. He always longed to see his parents, but with Lois it was obviously different. No wonder she preferred to have her mother sleep in an expensive hotel bed rather than having her anywhere nearby. They would probably kill each other before they even went to bed. Clark didn’t know what to do. Being a hero didn’t necessarily provide him with easy solutions to any occurring problem and stepping between these two fighting women seemed anything but wise to Clark.

Everybody was so caught up with this argument that neither of them noticed the soft tingling that announced the arrival of another person. Lex Luthor stepped into his penthouse, a content whistle on his lips that died down when he saw Lois, Ellen and Clark. The smile that had played around his eyes faded instantly and was replaced by a hint of anger that could easily be missed unless you knew him well. He harrumphed, indicating his presence the way Nigel St. John frequently used when he was emphasizing his English gentleman skills.

Luthor felt that appearing the perfect gentleman was his best option in this situation. Admittedly, he didn’t know much about Lois’ family, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that her mother wasn’t keen on her marrying him. Normally, he would have considered that odd, because every mother should be glad if her daughter made such a good match. But from what little Lois had told him, Lex knew her parents were divorced.

“I’m sorry for coming so late, my dear,” Luthor said sleekly as the others looked at him uneasily, embarrassed to be caught in a fight. He smiled at Lois’ mother in a way that made Clark want to throw up with disgust. Luthor managed to represent any mother’s perfect son-in-law seemingly effortless. Clarks own tame efforts to pick her up at the airport just couldn't compare with Luthors slick skill at charming people. “May I introduce myself? I’m Lex Luthor. And you have to be Mrs. Lane. Your daughter resembles you strikingly; it's obvious from which side she got her immense beauty.”

Luthor turned his attention to Lois and placed a kiss on her cheek, which made Clark’s stomach burn with jealousy and fear. He had to protect her from this evil man, particularly since Ellen Lane was no longer willing to do it for him. His fist was tickling with the need to land in Luthor’s face. What was it about this man that women fell for him so easily? With slight satisfaction he noticed that Lois merely accepted Luthor’s kiss, but didn’t return it. Or so he hoped.

“Thanks for picking her up at the airport,” Luthor said, suddenly addressing Clark. “I would have sent someone if only Lois had told me. Didn’t we agree that we won’t have any secrets?” he asked Lois sweetly.

Luthor of all people was talking about secrets. This was pure irony. Clark would have laughed if he hadn’t been busy eying Luthor’s every move as he embraced Lois possessively.

“Lex, I…” Lois muttered uneasily, trying to evade his grip, but he wouldn’t let her go.

The muscles of Clark’s jaw tensed as he continued watching Luthor, ready to throw him at the other side of his penthouse if he dared to hurt Lois.

“I really hope we’ll have the pleasure to see you on our wedding,” Luthor said invitingly, but left little doubt that he expected Clark to go now.

Clark wasn’t sure whether he wanted to leave or not. On the one hand he would like to spare himself watching Luthor kissing Lois. But on the other hand, how was he supposed to protect her if he was hundreds of miles away? After all, if he really wanted to escape this, he had to be absolutely certain that he couldn’t listen in by accident.

< Please don’t go, > a faintly whispering voice asked.

Clark blinked and wondered if wishful thinking had made him hallucinate. Had that been Lois? He searched her face for any indication that she had indeed asked him to stay. And really, her eyes seemed to convey a silent plea for him not to leave her alone with Luthor and her mother.

“Well, I need to apologize for demanding so much of your time,” Luthor continued. “I’m sure you have plenty of things you need to take care of. Don’t be shy to ask, if you’d like to have a job at LNN. It would be a pleasure to have such a talented journalist working for my broadcasting company.” There was an evil twinkle in Luthor’s eyes that seemed to warn Clark. Luthor, too, must have noticed Lois’ expression. “Goodbye,” Luthor said and reached out to shake hands with Clark. Lois seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as Luthor let go of her.

“No, thank you,” Clark replied coldly and gave the three people in front of him no more than a brief nod. A sudden cry for help provided him with the much needed excuse to go now. He would have hated to go because Luthor had told him to. On the other hand Clark wanted to make perfectly clear that he didn’t need Luthor’s so-called help. “You’re right, Luthor, I’m busy,” he added with a hint of threat in his voice. “Lois, Mrs. Lane, it was nice to meet you.”

Clark stepped into the elevator, grateful that he could leave, both because he could escape the penthouse and because the cry for help sounded more and more urgent by the minute. He pressed the button towards the first floor and waited for the doors to close. A twinge of guilt made his stomach clench as he left Lois alone. But wasn’t that what she wanted, he argued. How well would she take it if he stepped out again and rescued her? She’d hate it and she’d most likely be alive when he returned, Clark tried to calm his conscience. Lois had more than once proven that she could fight for herself. And maybe this was just the lecture she needed. But Clark’s conscience remained unhappy with this excuse.

In a second, she was with him. Inexplicably, Lois had managed to join him before the elevator doors had closed completely. And before anything could stop it, the elevator was on its way down, despite Luthor’s angry yells. But Clark was too confused to waste a thought on Luthor. He stared at Lois. Her dark brown eyes, the almost longing expression in them as she was looking at him, made her all the more beautiful, irresistible. Clark couldn’t have been angry at her if he had wanted to.

“Clark,” she breathed and for a moment he thought she would leave it at that. The simple word – his name – seemed to tell him more than anything else she could have said. It conveyed that she missed him, that she forgave him for being the idiot he had been. It meant that she trusted him, needed him. Her saying his name was like a gentle caress that touched not his surface but his heart, embraced and warmed it with a force that Clark wouldn’t have thought possible.

“You’d leave me here with him?” she then asked accusingly, back to her old self, the magic of the moment not completely gone though. They were talking to each other, the first time after days and neither of them could storm off.

“Would you have liked me to kidnap you, make you go with me?” Clark asked gently. There was no bitterness in his voice, unlike any other time throughout the last weeks when he had spoken with her.

Lois ignored his question. “I realized too late that this is a mistake, Clark. He shuts me out; he doesn’t care much about what I am thinking. He drives you away from me, although he says that I could call you whenever I feel like it. I’m not sure he’s worth it, worth losing you I mean.” She ran her hand through his hair as if to prove to herself that he was there.

Clark almost gasped, but managed to remain silent, afraid that this would turn out to be a dream if he made a noise. Instead he searched her face, not sure what he hoped to find there. He saw an expression he didn’t dare call loving for it could only result in heart-breaking pain if it proved to be an illusion.

“Clark, I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said, what I said in the park.” Lois murmured the words he had been longing to hear. “I couldn’t stand to lose you. You mean so much to me.”

“Lois,” Clark’s voice cracked. “I thought I’d lost you for good. I, too, made so many mistakes. I love you.” He merely whispered this last sentence.

“Oh, Clark,” Lois said, deeply moved by his statement. She no longer seemed to be afraid of hearing him say that, unlike the first time he had uttered those words. Clark hadn’t meant to say them again. And yet he had, unable to hide what he felt for her. “It’s time that we talk. I mean really talk, without yelling at each other because we both won’t listen.” Self-consciously, she looked down to the floor, aware that it had mostly been her who had refused to listen.

< Help, Superman! >

One voice had turned into a choir, reminding Clark of what he had almost forgotten about. He was needed and at the worst possible time. The elevator’s walls suddenly seemed to close in on him now that he couldn’t get out so easily. And there were still several floors left until they would make it to the first floor. Clark was torn, inwardly willing the elevator to hurry and yet wishing that this journey wouldn’t end. He was here with Lois and neither of them could escape. This was his chance to reconcile.

< Help, Superman! > the choir resounded.

“Clark, what’s the matter?” Lois asked suddenly.

He looked at her, slightly irritated, wondering how long he might have stared into thin air. He realized that he was nervous, knowing that the people who were in trouble needed him immediately. Frantically, he searched for an explanation why he had to dash off as soon as they would reach their destination, leaving her alone again after what they had told each other. But he couldn’t think of anything, nor did he want to make his excuses. Lois had left Luthor because he had shut her out. Clark wasn't stupid enough to make the same mistake.

“Lois, I…” he started, but his voice broke off. At the same time a soft tinkling interrupted him, indicating that they had finally reached the first floor. This was the moment to make his decision. He had to leave or stay, but both seemed cruel. No one should be thrown into such a situation. Clark knew what was reasonable, and he knew what his heart wanted. “Lois, hurry,” he said suddenly, and reached for her hand.

“Clark,” she protested as he dragged her along with him, through the entrance hall. People were turning their heads as they ran past them. Lois called his name once or twice, but stopped, saving her breath to be able to follow him. She would have liked to ask him what had gotten into him.

“I’ll explain to you,” he promised, miraculously sounding as if he was merely going for a walk instead of running so fast. “I should have told you earlier.”

They were on the streets and Clark still didn’t slow down. He looked around as if he was searching for something. Lois would have cursed him if she had had enough breath for it. Her feet were killing her for she was wearing high heels. Clark could have warned her that she’d need to run today. She made a mental note to wear sneakers the next time she was around Clark. Finally, he dragged her into a lonesome alley.

“Lois, I’m sorry. I had hoped to tell you this in a better moment than this,” Clark apologized before he became a whirl of colours. “I love you,” he said as he picked her up and took off into the sky of Metropolis.

“Clark, what…? Superman?” Lois murmured confused and tried to get a grip on what had just happened. Consciously, she knew what was going on. After all, Lois knew she could trust her eyes. Even though she could have sworn that something like this would only happen in dreams, Lois felt it was true. Clark had just spun into a blue and red suit and was flying – flying with her. She wasn’t sure if she should be angry or brimmed over with joy, because this was better than anything Lois had ever dared wish for.

“I’m sorry,” Superman repeated and gave her a worried look. “I couldn’t leave you with Luthor and I didn’t want to dash off without saying a word either. So I decided to take you with me.”

He sounded guilty and although he didn’t exactly offer to take her back again, she knew he would do that instantly if she asked him to do it. But he wouldn’t have flown off, if it hadn’t been important. Besides, Lois enjoyed flying with him immensely, despite all the confusion this had caused in her.

“You’ve been lying to me,” Lois stated the obvious, maybe just because she didn’t know what else to say. Nothing in her eventful life as an investigative reporter could have prepared her for a situation like this.

Clark merely nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I never told anyone, I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“You let me make a fool of myself when I told Superman that I love him. Why didn’t you tell me then?” Lois asked accusingly. But as soon as she had said those words, she knew that it was not only his fault but hers as well. She had turned him down only to confess her love for him a little later. “I’m sorry, too,” she then admitted. “I’ve hurt you so badly.”

“It’s okay,” he replied. “I could have said something instead of sulking like a child.”

Suddenly, Clark landed. Lois had been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed that they had been losing altitude. He set her back on her feet and by the expression on his face she could tell that he didn’t want to leave her now. But Lois could see the raging fire at the end of the street. Clark was obviously torn between his wish to stay with her and the need to help.

“Go,” she said. “We’ll talk about this later. I love you.” And with a smile she mouthed < Clark Kent >.

The End

Saskia asked for a story including Ellen Lane, Lex Luthor and a revelation. She preferred season 1 or 2. I hope she'll forgive me that Ellen Lane is taken from season 3. I thought she looked a little pale in HoL.