Okay, this is probably not what you all were expecting... but I swear it was the characters speaking to me and this is what came of it.
If you don't like it, feel free to say so and throw rotten tomatoes at me... I'll just slink away to my new hobby and become a hermit... :p Kidding. No, I'm a big girl. I can take it. <bites nails>
Okay, here we go. Once again I must express a debt of gratitude to my betas - you guys are awesome - no detail is too small. <bg> Thank you so much!
Table of Contents From Part 6:
Clark jolted to full awareness, memories flooding from his mind. He grasped at them but couldn’t hold on to them. As he became aware of his surroundings, he was instantly confused about why he was in Lois’s apartment and simultaneously horrified by the tears on her cheeks and her torn blouse... The words ‘you would never do this’ echoed over and over in his mind. One of his hands was pinning her hands behind her and the other was...
He jerked his hands away from her and stepped backwards so quickly that he almost fell down.
Lois gasped when Clark’s hands were suddenly gone and she was teetering unsteadily under her own power. She opened her eyes to find him standing several feet away from her, a shocked and confused expression on his face.
“Lois?”
“Clark?” she whispered, and then, “Superman?”
His eyes widened further. “No... I... No, what’s happening? What am I doing here?”
The anguish in his voice added to her own, breaking her resolve. She began to cry in earnest and collapsed with relief down to the hardwood floor beneath her.
She heard Clark gasp and sensed him take a couple of steps towards her, but then he stopped.
“Lois, I’m sorry. I don’t know what... God, Lois...”
And then he was gone. She could feel the gust of wind as it ruffled her hair and she opened her eyes to find herself alone in her apartment.
She lay on the floor for a few moments in shocked disbelief of what had just happened, but then, she finally snapped out of it. That was Clark that had just flown out of her window.
He had seemed confused, and yet, he was the only one who could give her answers. She got up and went to her window, looking out. Lois knew he was gone but she still had to look...
And that’s when she saw it.
A black stretch limo.
***********
PART SEVEN
***********
Lois approached Clark’s apartment door hesitantly, still unsure of what to say or how to begin. She was still a little shaky from their last encounter. Part of her wanted to turn around and leave right now, before she took another step... The part of her that was afraid.
Thankfully that was only a small part.
The man who had been willing to force himself on her back at her apartment was not the man she was coming to see. Clark – Superman – would never have willingly done those things to her. She kept reminding herself of that.
But there was another reason that she felt tentative.
Best friend... Hero...
Glasses... Cape...
Loud ties... Spandex...
Clark... Superman...
Her mind still hadn’t completely reconciled that Clark was Superman. Thoughts kept jumping out at her – circling around and around in her brain. Pieces of puzzles that she had given up hope of ever finding were snapping into place, slowly completing the picture. It amazed her, and frightened her, and infuriated her – all at once. And yet, she couldn’t think about any of that right now. They had more important things to discuss.
She raised her fist up to knock...
But what if he opened the door and he wasn’t himself?
She’d deal with that when – if - it happened. No sense compounding the situation - it was difficult enough as it was. She rapped lightly on his door and waited. When he didn’t answer, she knocked again, a little louder this time. What if he really wasn’t here? How would she find him? Where would he go?
Leaning forward, Lois tried to squint through the thin material covering the window of his door. There was a lamp on inside. “Clark? Are you in there?” she yelled and then listened for a response. She saw a shadow move through the room and she had to steady herself so she didn’t jump away from the door - but she did straighten up and take one step back. And then she reminded herself that she wasn’t afraid of him...
No. That wasn’t true. Not completely. She was afraid... of whatever was *controlling* him. Superman – Clark - would never hurt her intentionally – she truly believed that. He had saved her life so many times and in so many ways. But if someone was using him - somehow had him in their power - she didn’t know what he might be capable of.
What she did know was that she was probably the only person who could help him. He needed her. That knowledge shored up her courage and she yelled again, “Clark, I know you’re in there. Open up. We need to talk.”
She could faintly make out his outline as he approached the door, blocking the light from the lamp. She swallowed nervously, waiting for him to open the door. But it didn’t open. He was just standing there on the other side, not moving.
“Come on, Clark. It’s late, let me in.”
“No,” came his brusque reply.
The one word reply caught her off guard and she stammered, “No? What do you mean - no?”
“Just what I said, Lois. No.” He sighed loud enough that she could hear him through the door, and then he was speaking again, “I can’t risk letting you in here with me. I don’t trust myself. I don’t know what was going on back there at your apartment, but I have a pretty good idea... and it scares me. Worse than anything has ever scared me.”
“Clark, you have to listen to me. This isn’t your fault. Someone is...”
“No!” he exclaimed forcefully. “I won’t risk it, Lois. God, if I ever did something to hurt you, I couldn’t live with myself.”
“But you didn’t! You didn’t hurt me,” she insisted, her stubborn side streaking to his defense.
“Didn’t I?” he argued. “Your clothes and the tears on your face said otherwise. Go home, Lois. Or, better yet, go someplace where I won’t be able to find you.” His shadow moved from the door and started to shrink away, back down the steps.
“No, Clark! Listen to me! Open this door! We need to figure out what’s going on!” she hollered after him, pulling and twisting on the doorknob. When she realized that wasn’t getting her anywhere, she jerked her hands down into fists and narrowed her eyes determinedly. “If you don’t open this door, I’ll pull out my lock picks, I swear I will.” Some threat, she thought snidely, she was talking to a man who could fly. Fly... “And don’t you dare think of flying out the back, either!”
His shadow swiftly returned and the door was yanked open, out of her grasp, and Clark was there. He had tears in his eyes and he looked ill - if that was even possible for Superman. “Dammit, Lois, listen to me! I can’t be trusted!”
Clark watched Lois flinch away from the intensity in his voice and he felt a stab of guilt run through him. He sighed, dropping his shoulders, and continued softly, “*Superman* can’t be trusted. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He still couldn’t believe that she *knew*. When he had regained consciousness, in her apartment, she had called him both ‘Clark’ and ‘Superman’. And now, here they were, both acting like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to know. He wasn’t even sure *how* she knew, but did that really matter? For all he knew, he had told her himself when he was busy losing his mind.
“You won’t hurt me,” Lois assured him, and herself, before striding past him into his apartment. Her breath caught in her throat. There were suitcases at the bottom of the stairs. One was packed and closed and the other was half open - numerous pairs of socks, shirts and other items all screamed out to her, ‘he’s leaving!’
She whirled on him. “What’s this?”
He hung his head and let out a slow breath. “I was thinking of leaving.”
“What?” she exclaimed. “How could you do that? What were you planning to do? Slip out in the middle of the night, not even tell me?” She glanced down at the suitcases incredulously. “How did you pack so fas...?” She broke off, realizing how ridiculous the question was. “Nevermind,” she snipped. “Well, what did you plan to do? Call me up one day from a pay phone somewhere and...” She broke off because the guilt on his face was growing worse with each word she spoke. “I’m sorry,” she apologized bitterly. “I’m sorry, but this... I just...”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he pleaded with her, looking like he wished he could really, literally, just disappear.
The haunted pain in his eyes softened her and she reached out to take his hand, to assure him that she knew it wasn’t his fault, but he jerked it away from her and took a few steps back. “No. Don’t,” he begged, his voice wretched and pitiful. “Please, Lois. I’m dangerous. Look at what Superman has done the past few days... What I almost did to you...”
Feelings of helplessness welled up in Lois’s mind, threatening to overcome her, as she fought images of Superman pinning her to the wall. “No, that wasn’t you.” Her voice had softened but it was firm. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them again. “You are the kindest, gentlest, most selfless person that I know, Clark. You’ve saved countless numbers of people, including me, more than once, and you’ve never asked anything from anyone.”
“But what if something’s wrong with me? What if I’m... insane? Or have multiple personalities or something?” He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t trust myself.”
“That’s why you’ve got to trust *me*,” she reasoned. “We can figure this out. I can help you.”
“I know you can.” Clark wiped under his eyes and smiled sadly. “But I can’t let you, Lois. You know I can’t.”
Exasperation overtook her. “For crying out loud, Clark, why not?”
“Because I meant what I said in the park,” he answered softly. “I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I can’t...” he broke off and brought his hands up to his face, threading his fingers up through his hair and holding them there. He brought his arms together in front of his face, as if he could hide away behind them.
Any residual fear that Lois had left, melted completely away. She wrapped her arms around him before he could stop her and hugged him. “You won’t.” His body tensed for a few moments before finally relaxing into her arms with a soft tremble. As his head came down to bury itself in her shoulder, his arms reluctantly slipped around her, returning her embrace. She sucked in a shaky breath, realizing that she had never seen him scared like this – not as Clark and certainly not as Superman.
“You won’t,” she repeated as she rubbed one hand across his back, feeling tears stinging her eyes. “It will be okay. We’ll beat this together, you hear me? We’ll get through this together.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeated, his voice muffled by her shoulder. “I don’t know how you can forgive me...”
“Clark,” she began, but he didn’t let her get any further.
“Lois, please. You have to promise me something.” He pulled away from her shoulder and looked into her eyes. “Promise me that if I start to act strange or seem different or I pass out on you or anything like that... promise me that you’ll run. Go to Henderson. Tell him what’s going on, even if that means telling him about *me*. But run.”
“I don’t know if I...”
“Promise me!” he insisted.
She sighed softly. “Okay. I promise. Not about telling Henderson. But I promise I’ll leave.”
Clark relaxed slightly, feeling a little bit relieved at even that small admission. He didn’t know what had enabled him to stop himself back at Lois’s apartment, but he certainly didn’t want to press his luck. When he had become aware of where he was and what was going on – there was no doubt in his mind as to what he had planned on doing. The thought made his chest constrict painfully.
If he had hurt her...
“Do you have *any* idea what might be happening to you? To Superman?” Lois asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Clark shook his head. He was still coming to grips with the fact that it was *him* doing all these things. He couldn’t seem to remember doing any of them or what had happened, and he hadn’t really had time to think a lot about *why* he was doing them.
His mind definitely hadn’t had time to adjust to the fact that Lois knew about him, either. She knew the truth, somehow. How? He had thought it didn’t matter, but it did. He needed to know. He had to ask her. “How did you figure out that I’m... you know...”
“Superman?” She shook her head softly in disbelief. “You told me.”
“I told you?” he asked, feeling a bit dumbstruck. His subconscious had done what he had consciously been fighting with himself to do. She nodded at him and then looked away. He couldn’t believe that she wasn’t trying to rip him in two for hiding from her.
But he supposed that maybe there were more important things to deal with right now.
”Clark... I think I’m ready to believe that Lex could be involved,” Lois admitted quietly, releasing Clark from her arms. “I have evidence that links him to each place that Superman went... umm...”
“Went crazy? It’s okay, you can say it,” he told her quietly. “I feel crazy.”
“Well, that’s not exactly what I was going to say,” she objected, her cheeks flushing. But it was sort of what she had been thinking.
“You even have evidence that he was there tonight? At your apartment?” he asked, a chill running down his spine. She nodded. “What?”
“A black limo.”
Clark furrowed his brow. “There are a lot of black limos, Lois,” he pointed out, hating that he was arguing in defense of Luthor.
“Yeah, but the license plate is registered to LexCorp,” she explained, turning and walking down the stairs to sit on the couch. “The informant that my uncle set me up with, Bobby Bigmouth, told me there was a black limo at the bank that Superman... uh...”
“That Superman robbed,” Clark supplied helpfully, hating that it was true, but refusing to deny it. “Go on,” he told her, walking down the stairs to stand next to the couch.
“And also at the fire that he... um... refused to help out with.” She patted the couch for him to sit down beside her, but he shook his head, declining the invitation. She cleared her throat in the awkward silence that followed, before continuing, “Then yesterday, I saw the limo for myself. It was at the bank that the teenage boys robbed. One of Bobby’s informants got the license plate. Jimmy ran the plate and it came back registered to LexCorp.”
Clark frowned. “And tonight? You saw it at your apartment tonight?”
She bit her lip. “Um, yeah, after you left. I grabbed my binoculars...”
“You had time to get binoculars before it drove off?” he asked incredulously. Why would Luthor stick around that long?
“No. I mean, yes,” she said, sounding flustered. “I mean, I keep them by the window because sometimes I...” She cleared her throat softly. “...watch the skies. You know...” And for just an instant she took on the look that she normally reserved for when she was speaking to Superman.
She was right, this had to be Luthor – only he hated Superman this much. Clark felt heat flushing his face. Luthor had taken something from him, and from Lois. He had taken her innocence about Superman. And Clark wasn’t talking about the fact that she hadn’t known who Superman was. But to her, he had been virtuous, trustworthy... good... her hero. She had thought he could do no wrong.
And Luthor had shown her otherwise.
She cleared her throat and then the look was gone. “Anyway, I got a look at the license plate as the limo drove off,” she continued, all business again. “It was the same plate.”
Lois didn’t know for sure if Lex had really been in that limo... But if it was him, why? Her mind took the thought and ran with it. Lex could have been right outside her apartment, waiting and watching, while he fully expected Superman to...
She repressed the shudder that was threatening to overtake her. What a sicko!
Clark felt nauseous. The thought that Luthor was behind this, that he had somehow instructed Superman to go to Lois’s apartment and... what? Rape Lois? Was that part of the plan? Luthor was supposedly in love with Lois – not that Clark believed the man was truly capable of love, but he *wanted* her, at the very least. Would Luthor have really told Superman to go that far?
A pain shot through his chest as he realized that might have been the very reason he had stopped when he did. What if it hadn’t been Clark at all, that had stopped what was happening? Maybe Luthor had stopped him? Maybe he was somehow programming him to do these things - brainwashing him – and he had only programmed him to go so far. The thought frightened him to his very core.
What if Luthor programmed him to do something worse?
“Have you told Henderson?” he asked, not sure what he wanted the answer to be.
She shook her head. “No. I didn’t want to tip my hand too soon and scare Lex off. That info alone won’t be enough to incriminate him. If he is the one responsible, we’ve got to get more before we go to the police.”
Clark nodded and they were silent for a few seconds, each pondering what they had learned so far. Then Lois stood up from the couch and began to pace. “You don’t have a secret lair somewhere that you could have stashed the goods that were stolen from the bank, do you?”
Despite the situation, Clark almost laughed. “No. No secret lair.”
Lois gestured around the room. “What about here? Could you have stashed the loot here somewhere?”
Clark frowned and tipped his glasses down on his nose, turning in a slow circle as he scanned his apartment. “Nope, not here.”
Lois was staring at Clark with a look of amazement on her face.
“What?” Clark asked, feeling like he was in the third grade again and Mrs. Harris had just asked him how he had learned his multiplication tables so fast. He wanted to fidget.
“N...nothing,” she stammered. “Sorry. I just still... you know... it’s hard to believe.” She blushed. “I mean, you were just x-raying your apartment, right?”
He nodded, running a hand restlessly through his hair. “Yeah.”
“Can you see through *anything*?” she asked, self-consciously crossing her arms in front of her, remembering that he hadn’t been wearing his glasses when he had been at her apartment earlier.
Clark noticed the motion and a stab of guilt pierced him. “Yes, most things. But I would never...” He paused when he realized that wasn’t true. He had no idea what he had done to her before he had come back to awareness in her apartment. “Lois, I would never *consciously* invade your privacy like that.”
She smiled timidly. “Yeah, I know you wouldn’t.” The silence stretched on and then Lois finally got back to her questions. “So the stash isn’t at a hideaway and it’s not here...” She tapped her lips with her fingertips thoughtfully and resumed pacing. Something was nagging at the back of her mind. Something he had said to her that morning. And then, like a bolt from the blue, it hit her. She stopped pacing and whirled to face him. “Clark, what if you gave it to Lex?”
That had to be it. Lois found herself getting more wound-up as the mystery seemed to unravel in her mind. “You asked me this morning if the diamond in the engagement ring might have been from the robbery. Did Henderson tell you what the diamond looked like?”
“Yeah,” Clark said with a nod. “It was a three carat diamond, almost completely colorless with no flaws. Nearly perfect. He said it was a princess cut.”
Lois shook her head in disbelief. “You were right. It can’t just be a coincidence.” She remembered thinking that diamond was one of the most gorgeous stones she had ever seen, and it was huge - gaudy, really. “You just described the diamond in that ring.” Lois frowned. “But, I don’t get it, Clark. Why risk it? Why risk giving me a diamond that had been stolen? What if someone recognized it? Lex could have bought any stone he wanted. I don’t understand...”
“I do,” Clark said grimly. “What better gift to give the woman who loves your enemy than the very thing that was going to destroy your enemy... by his own hand?”
Lois gritted her teeth, furious at the thought... and insulted by the gesture.
“Luthor wouldn’t want to give you just any diamond,” he continued. “This one meant something to him. Superman had stolen this diamond for him to give to you. I’m sure in his eyes it was almost poetic.” Clark crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. “We need to get that ring from him somehow. It would prove that he was...”
“*You* don’t need to do anything,” Lois interrupted. “You can’t risk getting near Lex, Clark. He has too much control over you.” Clark looked like he was going to argue so she quickly continued, “I’ll talk to Henderson, first thing in the morning. See if there’s any way he can get a search warrant for that ring. And, really, I don’t think you should go in to work tomorrow, either.”
“Lois, I can’t just...”
“You shouldn’t be anywhere near Lex. We don’t know how he’s controlling you but I bet the farther away you are, the better.” She frowned as she began pacing again. “Actually, maybe you should go stay with your parents until we get this figured...”
“No way,” he said adamantly. “I’m not leaving you here to face that man alone. He’s evil, Lois.”
“But...”
“No! I can’t!” he exclaimed, beginning to pace also. “I’ll be careful. I won’t go into work. I’ll stay home and keep in touch with you by phone.”
Lois was nodding. “And maybe I should stay close tonight...”
Clark’s eyes went wide. “What? No. You need to stay as far away from me as possible. I don’t want you anywhere around me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, that makes sense. I suggest that you go to Kansas to put some distance between you and Lex, but you say no. Then you say I need to stay as far away as possible.” She put her hands on her hips. “What if something happens to you after you fall asleep?”
“Exactly!” he exclaimed. “What *if* something happens after I fall asleep? What if I lose control of...”
“You won’t hurt me,” she stated simply, as if she thought there was no room for argument. “I know you won’t.”
“How do you know? How can you be sure?” Clark felt bile rising in his throat and he swallowed uneasily. “After tonight?”
“Because you didn’t. Because you stopped. You had your chance already, Clark, and you didn’t.” He looked like he wanted to argue but she quickly pressed forward. “Yesterday, when you hurt those boys at the bank...” Clark flinched noticeably and Lois reached out and squeezed his hand, giving him a soft smile. “I called out to you and you seemed almost confused. It was like you were fighting whatever hold was over you. And then tonight. You couldn’t go through with whatever you’d been told to do. You broke free...”
“What if I didn’t?” Clark blurted out desperately. “Let’s say I am being controlled, programmed somehow to do these things. What if my instructions only told me to go so far?”
She squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“Maybe you should be.” He sighed, pulling his hand away from her. “What if I’m really not under anyone’s control? What if I’m just losing my mind?” He sat down hard on the couch and slipped his head into his hands.
Lois hated what Lex had done to Clark... and to Superman. Making him doubt himself. Making *her* doubt him. She had to prove to him that she trusted him, that she knew he could fight it. She sat down next to him and reached up to finger a piece of hair that had fallen across his eyes. She smoothed it away from his face and smiled warmly at him. “I won’t leave you, Clark.” She ran her hand down his face, touching him tenderly. “I think we can trust that Lex doesn’t know that *you* are Superman. He isn’t going to come here, to your apartment, and force you to do anything to me and...”
“We don’t know how he’s controlling me,” Clark protested weakly. She was wearing him down. His skin still tingled from where she had touched him. It may have been just a reassuring gesture to her but she had no idea what it was doing to him – or how much more guilty it was making him feel. He closed his eyes, taking a deep, slow breath, and then he reached up and pulled her hand away from his face. Giving her hand a soft squeeze, he clenched his jaw, steeling his resolve. “Let’s say our theory is true and Lex is somehow controlling me. What if he’s doing it from a distance? It wouldn’t matter where I was.”
“If that were true, then why is he always at the scene in that limo?” she argued.
Clark scowled, feeling his determination returning. “Maybe because he just wants to watch the carnage. Or maybe because he needs to see what’s happening in order to control it.”
“Maybe...” she agreed. “But I’m still not leaving.”
Clark stood up abruptly. “If you won’t leave, then I will.”
“What?” she exclaimed, standing up next to him. “Oh, so now you’re going to take my advice and go to Kansas?”
“Yes. I mean, no, not Kansas. I...”
“Clark, please, listen to me...”
“No! I absolutely will not risk hurting you.” He glanced around his apartment. “You’ll be safe here. Please, stay here. If Luthor really is behind this and was behind what happened at your apartment tonight...” He let out an almost imperceptible shudder. “Please don’t go back there. He won’t know that you’re here.”
“And what about you?” she pressed. “Where will you go?”
“I’ll... I’ll go somewhere.”
“Where?” She couldn’t let him leave like this. He needed help. He didn’t need to be off on his own, by himself.
“Somewhere where you’ll be safe from me,” he answered softly.
“No,” she protested.
“Just for the night,” he promised. She could hear the determination in his voice and knew she wasn’t going to change his mind. “Stay here, you’ll be safe, and I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you.” He gave her a sad smile. “I think this time, to keep you safe, I need to keep my distance.”
“But, Clark...” she began. Before she could continue there was a ‘whoosh’ and he was gone – out the window.
Lois ran to the window and looked out, up into the dark night sky above. “Be careful,” she whispered softly.
After a few seconds of watching the sky where he had been, she walked back over to the couch and sat down with a dull thud, laying her head down into her hands. Suddenly her head jerked up and her elbow flew back into the unsuspecting couch cushion behind her with a loud ‘thwap’. She whacked it again and again until she felt reasonably better.
Lois hated feeling useless. And that’s how Clark had made her feel. Stay here? At his apartment? Stay safe?
That wasn’t how Lois Lane played.
She spied his phone and snatched it up, dialing her uncle’s diner. After a couple of rings, he answered.
“Hello, Americana Cafe.”
“Uncle Mike, it’s Lois.”
“Lois? It’s awfully late. I was just getting ready to close up for the night. Are you okay?”
What a question... if he only knew what her night had consisted of. “I’m fine,” she assured him. “I need you to pass a message on to Bobby for me.”
She heard some shuffling noises and then he responded, “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Tell him that Lex has the diamond from the robbery. He was planning to give it to me in an engagement ring.” She paused for a second as an idea struck her. It could work. It had to work. “Tell him that I’m gonna get the ring from Lex and take it to Henderson as evidence. Ask him if he has anything else he can give me, anything.”
“Lois?” Her uncle’s voice sounded worried. “Are you sure about this? Maybe we should call the police.”
“No. Uncle Mike, please trust me. I need to get that ring. It’s the only proof we have.” She waited but he didn’t respond. “Uncle Mike?”
“Lois, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
She seemed to be getting that a lot lately. Lois sighed softly. “I know. But this is important. Listen, if you think anything’s happened to me or something’s gone wrong, call Inspector Henderson down at the precinct and talk to him, okay?”
She heard a resigned sigh from the other end of the phone and then, “Okay, Lois. But be careful. You’re my favorite niece, you know. And don’t you dare tell Lucy I said that.”
Lois grinned. “I won’t, Uncle Mike. Thanks. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay. I’ll get the message to Bobby. See you soon.”
She hung up the phone and chewed on one of her nails for a few seconds. It was going to be risky. Clark would be mad. But what choice did she have? She couldn’t tell Henderson and let him go barging after Lex with a warrant. That diamond ring would be gone before the ink had finished drying on the paper.
No. It had to be her way. And this was going to have to be the best performance she’d ever given.
**********
Clark touched down on the soft, powdery snow of an iceberg.
What was he doing here?
He had taken off from his apartment, trying to get away from Lois before she convinced him to stay. He hadn’t known where he was going and hadn’t cared. Before he realized it, he had found himself in the Arctic, of all places.
Maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him something. Maybe he needed to cool off a bit. At least he knew Lois would be safe from him if he was here.
Clark shook his head at himself. He had argued that Kansas was too far for him to go, and then he had flown to the Arctic. But Lois would be safe from Luthor at his apartment. Besides, the real reason he hadn’t wanted to go to Kansas was because he couldn’t face his parents right now. How could he look them in the eyes and tell them what he had done? What he was running from? Hiding from? They still thought there was a clone...
But there wasn’t. Clark had done those horrible things. The most horrible being what he had almost done to Lois.
How could she come to his apartment like that, pretending like nothing was wrong? He knew that’s all it was – a pretense. She was holding it together until she could get her hero cleared. Then she’d probably never want to speak to him again.
She might feel that she owed him for the times he had saved her... but he didn’t deserve her. He certainly didn’t deserve her friendship, or anything else, after what had happened.
Maybe once this was over, he should talk to Perry about a transfer, at least to another department. How could Lois face working with him every day after what he’d almost done?
The frustration built inside of him until it exploded in a wail of utter pain. Why? Why did it have to be like this? All he had wanted was a life. All he had wished for was someone to love. And he had found her - Lois.
And he had ruined it.
Clark dropped down to his knees in the snow and put his head in his hands.
He thought it had been bad when she had only loved Superman. Now he had even lost that.
She would never trust him again.
**********
To Be Continued...
