|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
This continues to get better and better! I'd leave more fdk but my tooth hurts too bad to think that much! I'll try to leave more later. And it shouldn't be a week before part is up. You don't need a real life. Tomorrow is good . Carol
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
Part 7! Bahaha! As his head came down to bury itself in her shoulder, his arms reluctantly slipped around her, returning her embrace. She sucked in a shaky breath, realizing that she had never seen him scared like this – not as Clark and certainly not as Superman.
“You won’t,” she repeated as she rubbed one hand across his back, feeling tears stinging her eyes. “It will be okay. We’ll beat this together, you hear me? We’ll get through this together.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeated, his voice muffled by her shoulder. “I don’t know how you can forgive me...” Aww! That's such a sweet picture. “No. I mean, yes,” she said, sounding flustered. “I mean, I keep them by the window because sometimes I...” She cleared her throat softly. “...watch the skies. You know...” And for just an instant she took on the look that she normally reserved for when she was speaking to Superman. haha! That bit of humor there was perfect. And well needed! All this (fabulous) angst! “What?” Clark asked, feeling like he was in the third grade again and Mrs. Harris had just asked him how he had learned his multiplication tables so fast. He wanted to fidget. Hehe! It's funny to think of someone teaching Superman his times tables. The frustration built inside of him until it exploded in a wail of utter pain. Why? Why did it have to be like this? All he had wanted was a life. All he had wished for was someone to love. And he had found her - Lois.
And he had ruined it.
Clark dropped down to his knees in the snow and put his head in his hands.
He thought it had been bad when she had only loved Superman. Now he had even lost that.
She would never trust him again. Argh! Clark's being a lunkhead again! Great chapter DJ! I really love this story. I think you did a great job of dealing with the emotions in the "aftermath" or what almost happened. I can't wait to see part 8! Lois Lane and Clark Kent had better kick some Luthor butt. Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 738 |
oh man I feel with Clark and I love strong and stubborn Lois. She rocks. Poor poor Clark, he must feel like a monster. So DJ, this is your job to fix him and ruin Lex instead. :-) Thank you for making my day. This part was perfect.
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 910
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 910 |
Ah DJ, I'm not the throwing tomatoes kinda gal. When things go differently, I know it's because other people view the characters in their own idiosynchratic ways and that's cool too. That said, I buy this 'quick recovery' on her part because there was no violence. It's easier for her to deal with it because all he did was rip her shirt and scare her. Had there been something more, then it'd be a bit disappointing for me to see things go this quickly. That said, I always like it when Lois seeks him out and when she shows her tough side almost as much as I like Clark shackled up with guilt. So actually...I like this part quite a bit heh heh heh. Seriously, it just gets better and better. Can't wait to see what comes next. alcyone
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
*This part was killer* alert. Okay, this is probably not what you all were expecting Ok, but when it's completely in character for Clark to freak out and run off, you get no complaints from me! You know that's really funny. His spandex is loud, so people don't really pay attention to who's inside it, but I never thought about the fact that he could be hiding behind his loud ties, too, in some small fashion. She rapped lightly on his door and waited. When he didn’t answer, she knocked again, a little louder this time. What if he really wasn’t here? How would she find him? Where would he go? Whatever, he's so inside. “If you don’t open this door, I’ll pull out my lock picks, I swear I will.” Some threat, she thought snidely, she was talking to a man who could fly. Fly... “And don’t you dare think of flying out the back, either!” Atta girl. He hung his head and let out a slow breath. “I was thinking of leaving.” God of course you were. i didn't expect it, but it's so Clark. Fly away, run away, move away... :rolleyes: His subconscious had done what he had consciously been fighting with himself to do. he had somehow instructed Superman to go to Lois’s apartment and... what? Interesting. Just some food for thought to tuck away when I RAFO. “Tell him that Lex has the diamond from the robbery. He was planning to give it to me in an engagement ring.” She paused for a second as an idea struck her. It could work. It had to work. “Tell him that I’m gonna get the ring from Lex and take it to Henderson as evidence. Smooooth Lois. That's a really bad*** plan. And there's a nice echo of the iceburg scene in the show! Hrm, can Lois pull off her plan? Will Clark stop being a stubborn *** and let her help? Can you tell that midterms are over and I have time to formulate wild ideas while I'm waiting for the next part LOL? JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
Features Writer
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921 |
This was perfect. Clark's guilt, Lois' staunch belief that he'd never hurt her, even though he nearly did a few minutes before, everything about this was completely believable and beautifully written.
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
Great part, great story, great writer.
And I think Lois has thought of the "easiest" way to obtain the ring, but is it really that easy, or that safe?
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 320 |
Oh wow, it was really great...I'll have to read it again slower, it's 11;30, and I have to get up at 5:00, but I couldn't resist!!
doublel
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Hmmmm, DJ, which is better... a Lois who is traumatized and totally scared of Clark because of his near-rape of her, or one who is completely focused on the task of helping Superman break free of his evil controller? Traumatized Lois would have been interesting, absolutely. There are many reasons why she should feel particularly bad about what Superman almost did to her (and about what he actually did, too). Lois has had many bad experiences of men and finds it hard to trust. And she had been idolizing Superman so completely, putting him on a pedestal and regarding him as an angel without wings. Having that kind of trust betrayed must hurt a lot, and we know that Lois is vulnerable - sometimes very vulnerable. Like I said, seeing that Lois would have been interesting. We would have seen her trying to deal with her shock and trying to face Clark Kent again and trying to, slowly, slowly rebuild her relationship with him and learning to trust him again, which might have taken years. Interesting. But when all is said and done, I'm with Tahu! I love strong and stubborn Lois. She rocks. Yeah!!! And I totally buy this Lois. She knows that although her idol Superman did all those horrible things himself, he still didn't actually do it himself, because he wasn't himself. Somebody was controlling him. Superman is in dire trouble, and of course Lois would come to his rescue! Isn't that what she always does? Honestly, isn't it? And she is right not to be afraid of him, because she knows that ultimately, her hold on him is stronger than Lex's: “What if something happens to you after you fall asleep?”
“Exactly!” he exclaimed. “What *if* something happens after I fall asleep? What if I lose control of...”
“You won’t hurt me,” she stated simply, as if she thought there was no room for argument. “I know you won’t.”
“How do you know? How can you be sure?” Clark felt bile rising in his throat and he swallowed uneasily. “After tonight?”
“Because you didn’t. Because you stopped. You had your chance already, Clark, and you didn’t.” He looked like he wanted to argue but she quickly pressed forward. “Yesterday, when you hurt those boys at the bank...” Clark flinched noticeably and Lois reached out and squeezed his hand, giving him a soft smile. “I called out to you and you seemed almost confused. It was like you were fighting whatever hold was over you. And then tonight. You couldn’t go through with whatever you’d been told to do. You broke free...” Yes, he did. Because his love for Lois is stronger than Luthor's control of him. So, yay! Hooray for this Lois!!! Anyway, this was a great part! I got myself a pair of these, just in case, you know, but I don't think I'm going to throw them.... Come back with the next part soon, please, DJ! Ann
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
*gr8shades reading latest excuse for fiction by one MetroRhodes* Heads up, DJ! Rotten tomatoes are coming your way! What? Who says rotten tomatoes aren't rectangular! Fine. If you want to get technical about it I'll just beat you with a fish. ...or shove you off a cliff. Ok, so you know I'm kidding. But really, if you leave the door wide open like that I'm gonna walk right through! Or should I just go back to apathy? Maybe Clark's not the only one under the influence of something sinister. PS. Nice story. *note to self: find more constructive way to spend time.
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
I see we have an extra part now. That's a good start! Best friend... Hero...
Glasses... Cape...
Loud ties... Spandex...
Clark... Superman... <g> Cute! No. That wasn’t true. Not completely. She was afraid... of whatever was *controlling* him. Superman – Clark - would never hurt her intentionally – she truly believed that. He had saved her life so many times and in so many ways. But if someone was using him - somehow had him in their power - she didn’t know what he might be capable of. Nice distinction here from Lois. I like the way that she's not totally confident he'll be himself, afraid, but determined not to leave because he needs her help. <WAFFy sigh> “Just what I said, Lois. No.” He sighed loud enough that she could hear him through the door, and then he was speaking again, “I can’t risk letting you in here with me. I don’t trust myself. I don’t know what was going on back there at your apartment, but I have a pretty good idea... and it scares me. Worse than anything has ever scared me.” “If you don’t open this door, I’ll pull out my lock picks, I swear I will.” Some threat, she thought snidely, she was talking to a man who could fly. Fly... “And don’t you dare think of flying out the back, either!” The haunted pain in his eyes softened her and she reached out to take his hand, to assure him that she knew it wasn’t his fault, but he jerked it away from her and took a few steps back. “No. Don’t,” he begged, his voice wretched and pitiful. “Please, Lois. I’m dangerous. Look at what Superman has done the past few days... What I almost did to you... <snuffle> You have such a way with dialogue, DJ. This is sharp so far. Beautiful. And sad. Any residual fear that Lois had left, melted completely away. She wrapped her arms around him before he could stop her and hugged him. “You won’t.” His body tensed for a few moments before finally relaxing into her arms with a soft tremble. As his head came down to bury itself in her shoulder, his arms reluctantly slipped around her, returning her embrace. She sucked in a shaky breath, realizing that she had never seen him scared like this – not as Clark and certainly not as Superman. Oh, bad DJ. You made me cry. This is just so... “No. I mean, yes,” she said, sounding flustered. “I mean, I keep them by the window because sometimes I...” She cleared her throat softly. “...watch the skies. You know...” And for just an instant she took on the look that she normally reserved for when she was speaking to Superman. LOL! I just love this. So typically Lois. Great character detail. “What?” Clark asked, feeling like he was in the third grade again and Mrs. Harris had just asked him how he had learned his multiplication tables so fast. He wanted to fidget. Oh, he's just so adorable when she flummoxes him. <G> Lois gritted her teeth, furious at the thought... and insulted by the gesture. Oh good. Now she's gonna kick Luthor's butt. Big mistake, Lex! Huge! “Luthor wouldn’t want to give you just any diamond,” he continued. “This one meant something to him. Superman had stolen this diamond for him to give to you. I’m sure in his eyes it was almost poetic.” Yeah, would have been too. The git. Lois hated what Lex had done to Clark... and to Superman. Making him doubt himself. Making *her* doubt him. Yeah, kick his butt, Lois. Go on. Lois ran to the window and looked out, up into the dark night sky above. “Be careful,” she whispered softly. <watch LabRat's bottom lip wobble alarmingly> No. It had to be her way. And this was going to have to be the best performance she’d ever given. Oh oh. I can't see this turning out well, somehow. Well, unless she really kicks his butt, of course. Oh oh. Well, there's one good thing. At least in the Arctic it's way too cold for there to be any chance of a stray sheep hanging around... He thought it had been bad when she had only loved Superman. Now he had even lost that.
She would never trust him again. Poor, poor Clark. Damn you, Lex Luthor! If Lois doesn't kick your butt, I will. DJ, this was a beautiful segment. The dialogue between Clark and Lois was by turns touching, poignant, scary, WAFFy, funny, tender and so heartbreakingly sad. You have such a deft touch with that. Excellent! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Hello everyone! Sorry for neglecting to respond to fdk... my muses have found some new inspiration <blushes> and unfortunately it's not LnC related. Don't worry, this story is going to be finished (and already is finished in my mind) but when the muses demand that you work on something else... Well, they are not to be trifled with. *ahem* So, anyway, on to fdk! <rubs hands together in glee> Hi carolm! Sorry about the toothache! And sorry, it will definitely be a week. My heartiest apologies. Thanks so much for the fdk. Hi Laura S! I'm glad you enjoyed the bit of humor I tried to slip in, in this part. <g> Thanks for the reassurance that I handled it well. And thanks so much for the fdk! Hi Pam! Heh - me too, I love stubborn Lois. I'll do my best to fix things. <g> Thank *you* for making *my* day. <blushes> Perfect... you have no idea how tickled I am. Thanks. Hi Alcyone! Whew <wipes forehead> glad to know I was able to pull that off. <g> And I'm glad you enjoy Clark shackled up with guilt. Hee hee. I'm so happy you're still enjoying it. Thanks for the fdk! Hi Jen! LOL - "this part was killer alert". Hee hee - thanks. Yes, can Lois pull off her plan? I LOVE your wild ideas... please formulate some more. Hee hee. Thanks for the fdk, Jen! Hi anonpip! Ooooh, there's that word again - perfect. <giggles> Thanks. I'm so glad you found it believable. And thanks for the 'beautifully written' and for the fdk! Hi Woody! I've missed you. Glad to know you're reading. Thanks for the 3 'greats'. <bg> Hmmm, yes, how safe is it? Thanks for the fdk! Hi doublel! Thank you! Hope you found time to re-read it, but I'm glad you snuck it in. Thanks for the fdk. Hi Ann! Hee hee... I'm glad you enjoyed this Lois. I know, I know... I knew you'd be groaning at Clark... I'm LOL at your tomatoes... those look very dangerous indeed, I'm glad you didn't have to bring them out. Hee hee. Thanks so much for the fdk, Ann! Hi gr8shades! *OUCH!* Man! Bricks!!! <snort> Thanks for the fdk - glad you liked it. <g> Hi Labby! <snuffle> You have such a way with dialogue, DJ. This is sharp so far. Beautiful. And sad. <sniffle> Thanks... glad you liked it. Oooooh, and I made you cry? <grins gleefully> At least in the Arctic it's way too cold for there to be any chance of a stray sheep hanging around... LOL <snort> Thanks so much for the fdk, Labby. I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much. Really, everyone, I'm just ecstatic over the fdk. Thank you all so much. I'll be back soon... but maybe a few days... we'll see. Thank you! -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
|
Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719 |
So? IT's been a few days!! Please! Post!!!
BTW, this is a fab story!
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
Ooooh! I lured out a lurker. <g> Thanks L!
I'm sorry for the delay. It's been a really busy past week. Never fear... the next part is written and it's been sent off to my wonderful, awesome, amazing beta readers Sue and Laramoon.
So it will be a few more days. I have to tinker with it some more. But I promise - sometime this week.
Thanks guys!
-- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Never fear... the next part is written and it's been sent off to my wonderful, awesome, amazing beta readers Sue and Laramoon. I was just about to nag. LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006
Top Banana
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,006 |
Can't wait, DJ!
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662
Merriwether
|
Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
Thanks, DJ.
But don't make us wait too long for the final part after that, either. (Yes, I'm nagging two parts ahead, but hey, it's a good story.)
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Oh goody, I was going to join the Nag Committee. Thanks for the update, DJ! JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|