Don’t Go Away
by coolgirl
”I knew... well I knew that you liked me, were attracted to me, but... I'm sorry. I don't think about you in that way... romantically. Clark, you're my best friend, the only partner I could ever stand to work with. I admire you, respect you, and I do love you, but only as a friend.”
Part 6 : I can’t love you
‘Dear Lois’
‘I'm sorry about a lot of things. I wanted to bring Luthor down, but I never wanted to hurt you in the process. I tried telling you what a crook he was. As a last resort I had to take even that final and drastic measure, just because I couldn’t see you marry that scoundrel. I would have said anything to stop you from marrying Luthor. And I did. Only it didn’t work the way I thought it would. It has only succeeded in driving us apart.’
‘Being apart from you was the last thing I wanted. I cherish every moment we spent together, at work, at home – yours and mine. I didn’t want to give it all up just because you don’t return my feelings.’
‘But I should never have said anything about the way I felt towards you. It put you in an incredibly awkward position. The fact of the matter is it wasn't true. I'm not in love with you. I only said that because I thought it would make you reconsider your options.’
‘I want the same thing you do, Lois. I want us to be friends, forever.’
‘I have been thinking of taking over the Smallville Post. I have obtained the required permission and am thinking of moving over to my parents’ place for sometime, until I find some other position.’
‘I just hope you can forgive me after all that has happened, and that you hold no grudge against me for investigating and incriminating Luthor. I hope you’ll believe me when I say that, had he been a better man, I wouldn’t have opposed your decision.’
‘Always a friend,’
‘Clark Kent’
Writing the letter had been the most difficult thing in his entire life. It was a thousand times worse than kryptonite. It had made him want to cry like a baby. It had made him want to die. Yet, it had to be done. It was his first step in setting things right.
It wasn’t as if Lois was going to be hurt by it. She had always wanted to be his friend. Only a friend, when he had made a muck of things by declaring his love. He couldn’t leave without setting it right. It would always be there, between them, even if he ran to a place half-way across the world. It had to be done and he had done it! The only thing left was to deliver it to her, unseen.
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He flew over to Metropolis after regaining his powers completely. He hovered outside her window, seeing her sleep in his bed. It twisted his insides with an intense longing for the unattainable. It reminded him of his secret fantasy in which he would come home from a rescue and see her on his bed like this.
It was then, that he noticed that her sleep was restless. Her heart was thumping hard and her breathing, ragged. She twisted and turned in her sleep and then suddenly,
“Clark!” he heard her call out. She probably had a nightmare about him. His arms ached to take her into his embrace. But he had lost the right a long time ago. Clenching his teeth in agony, he flew away.
But he returned, again and again, after two short, half-hearted patrols over the city and found the bed empty. Seeing his opportunity, he placed the letter over her – his – pillow, with a heavy heart.
‘I will always love you, Lois.’ he whispered, before flying away without looking back.
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Her hands trembled. Her chin quivered. The tears slid out of her closed eyes, as Lois clutched Clark’s letter close to her heart. He did not love her?
He did NOT love her? Great! Excellent! And a really beautiful punishment for her. And just when she had started loving him. She had always believed in destiny. Two months before she had three handsome men in her life, with whom she could imagine her future with - as a husband, as a friend and as a superhero. That was when she had been contemplating marrying Lex.
But one by one she had lost them. To Clark, she had said a big ‘No’, when he had so sweetly offered. Superman had told her a bigger ‘No’ and not even considered it worthy to stay through their conversation. The one man she had fallen back to, Lex, had turned out to be the biggest crook. And now, Clark was retracting his love. Talk about a series of federal disasters!
She started laughing. She laughed and laughed until it turned hysterical and she ended up in tears, not from mirth, but from a hurt that came deep from her heart.
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Perry had an unexpected visitor the next morning. He had moved to his own place as soon as Lois’ mother had taken charge over her while Jimmy had been assigned the duty of hunting for a new apartment for Lois. He had been sitting in his chair, looking morosely at the Metropolis Star, still unable to touch the *rival* newspaper, when the door-bell jolted him out of his melancholic reflection.
“Chief?”
“Clark! When did you get back? Have you seen Lois?” Perry enquired, enthusiastically.
“Err… no, chief. I haven’t seen her. I hope she is well.”
“She isn’t, and you know it, son.”
“I… am… I don’t know what to say, chief.” he stammered.
“Stern contacted me yesterday. Says he always had an old score to settle with Luthor. He has hopes for restoring the Daily Planet, provided he gets to see at least one story against Luthor every week, starting tomorrow.”
“Chief, that’s great news!” Clark exclaimed, really happy for the first time in two months.
“So, son, you are re-hired!”
“Umm… chief I… have decided to work for Smallville Post. Not permanently! Just until some things are… umm… settled here.”
“Clark!” Perry exclaimed, astonished. It was rare for him to show such an emotion. But it was apparent from the look on his face that he was really and truly surprised.
“Considering the situation here, it seemed the best course of action. At least for some time. That is why I came here. I wanted to inform you personally.”
“Have you told Lois?” Perry asked him sharply.
“She would have known by now.”
“Written her a farewell letter, have you? I thought you would face her, son, instead of running away again.”
“I …” Clark stammered.
“Okay Kent, I accept your decision. I will give you two months. Your job at the Planet will be waiting for you. If you are not here exactly two months from the day I put the next Daily Planet edition to bed, you are fired, permanently.”
“Err…”
“Now where have you put up for tonight?” Perry asked.
“Umm… I think I will take a room in Lexor for tonight. But I haven’t decided, chief.”
“Okay.”
Embarrassed, Clark left Perry in a hurry. But not before he *super*heard his mumbled, ‘Poor boy, doesn’t know what he is doing!’
But Perry had known. He had known that Clark would leave sooner or later and that he had to act quickly if he wanted him back, not just for himself, but for Lois too.
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The phone rang. Absent mindedly, Lois picked it up.
“Lois? Lois, honey? Are you there?” Perry’s concerned voice came from the phone.
“Perry, Clark wrote to me. Says he is moving to Smallville. I don’t know what to do. I have lost him now. It was a wonder he stuck this long. Why am I like this with relationships?” she said with tears on her face not yet dried.
“Lois, he’ll come around. He is just having a spell of stupidity. He will be back, honey. I called you to let you know that he came here, too. He has lodged himself in Lexor for the night.”
“He is not coming to his apartment?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Is it because of me? Is he angry with me? Is he avoiding me? Did he say something about me? Oh Perry, I am in such a mess. And just when I realized that I love him, too. And I am miserable. I am wallowing and I hate myself. Have you ever seen me like this? You must think I am no longer worthy to be a reporter.” she ranted in wobbly tone.
“That’s the other thing I wanted to say, Lois. Stern’s bought the newspaper. We are going to rebuild the ruined building. And you are rehired. That is you are, if you want to. Or do you have some stupid intention of working for the LNN?”
“No, I mean, yes, I am coming back. Perry, this is great news.” she said, a ray of happiness passing through her. “Are you hiring everybody back? What about Jimmy, Jack, Cat? And Clark? What about Clark?” she asked apprehensively.
“As you know, he has some stupid intention of working for Smallville Post.”
“He isn’t coming back, is he? I know, Perry. He is just tired of working with me. I put him through a lot. And now I have lost him and I am…” she ended up in another round of weeping.
“Lois, I have things more important in my hand than your personal relationship with Clark. I have a newspaper to run and I don’t want to lose such a good reporter. If he is leaving because of your personal conflict, then I want you to sort things out and bring him back. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care if you butt your heads or cuddle up in a bed. If you are the reason he is leaving, I want you to set it right instead of sitting there wallowing over your ex-fiance and your stupid partner.” Perry commanded.
“But Perry…”
“I want him back, even if you aren’t matured enough to settle your differences. It is going to be difficult, as it is, building a newspaper from ruins and I don’t want one of my top reporters leaving because of a personal problem.” he continued strongly and hung up without another word.
“Yes Perry” she answered sniffing.
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He needed to do that, Perry thought. He had wanted to soothe her and he had even started to, but when she had continued to be miserable, he had known exactly what would bring Lois to her senses. He had known that pitying her wouldn’t solve anything. It would only send her deeper into her misery.
What she needed was work. A challenge. Some task to prove that she wasn’t a loser. To make her realize that she was still that confident, beautiful top-reporter of the top-most newspaper in the world. Her task was to bring her partner back. She was a fighter. She just didn’t sit at home and let things happen to her. He just had to remind her of that. And if he had succeeded, she would be on her way to Lexor, by now.
Perry sat back on his chair and closed his eyes. By setting Lois the task, he had wanted to gain Clark back as well as distract her from her wretched mood. If he had succeeded, he would have not one, but both of his top-reporters back. He smiled his first genuine smile in months.
TBC
The nfanfic version of this part has also been posted
