Don’t Go Away
By coolgirl
PG-13
“I guess so. Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out... well, there've been a lot of changes going on in my life and I'm trying to make the right decisions, but I can't until I know... how you feel… Superman, is there any hope for us? You and me? I'm so completely in love with you that I can't do anything else without knowing.”
“Lois, I do care for you. But... there are things about me you don't know, that you may never know.”
Part 8 : I need you
Shocked, he lost concentration and started falling, his altitude decreasing rapidly. It was only after he fell down almost half-the-way to the ground, that he realized it. Regaining his balance, he drifted slowly downwards, still reeling from what he had heard.
What was she saying? She loved Clark? What did she mean? As a friend? Of course, she loved him as a friend. She had said that before, remember? In this same place, two months ago. She missed him, but only as a friend. Just as she loved him, only as a friend.
Then why was she sitting here, in this place where she had once rejected his love? And why was she clutching his letter, sobbing her heart over it. Had she started feeling something for him? If so, was she on the rebound, or having post-traumatic feelings for him? Or if she did love him, then were her feelings real?
Assailed by these doubts, his attention got diverted and he didn’t see her stand up and walk out of the park to go home.
She had crossed the gate and was walking gloomily, brooding over her partner. She stepped off the pavement to cross the road to reach the other side, when a horn blared into her ears suddenly and she saw a huge truck speeding towards her with its headlights glaring at her!
Transfixed, she stood there, in its path – unable to move, unable to think.
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A sudden blur of red and blue streaked straight down from the sky, carrying her off the ground and rocketed upwards. It was a moment before she realized what had almost happened. She turned to thank him for saving her and ask him to let go of her, when she was sidetracked by the loud thumping of his heart beneath her hand where she had placed them on his chest.
Surprised, she looked up at him, at the face that had haunted her dreams once upon a time. She was still left awe-struck by him, his strength and capabilities. And she did love him, in her own small way. And she could still feel that physical attraction that assaulted her senses, whenever he was around. But it was nothing compared to what she felt for Clark.
With Clark, she felt love - that indescribable feeling that came from familiarity and intimacy and yet every time she heard his name, she felt as though she was being born again. She hadn’t recognized it when he was around, tailing behind her at work, leading her during their stakeouts and walking with her always. Yet it had been there. Hadn’t she sub-consciously recognized it when she had been affected by the pheromone? And that kiss at Lexor! Hadn’t she dreamed about it for months?
With Superman, she felt desire, strong and powerful, yet distant. It wasn’t that type of desire that she wanted to cling to when she was lonely. She could keep this desire bottled up and tucked away for the rest of her life. But she could not do that to that tender feeling of love that had bloomed inside her for Clark. Only Clark.
She wanted an ever-lasting love – that would keep her safe, secure and happy. She wanted Clark. She needed Clark.
A sudden breeze brought her out of her trance and she gently nudged Superman in his arm. He flew her to his apartment and set her down on his balcony. She walked inside and he followed, looking around the apartment. Then his gaze settled on her.
“Thank you, Superman.” she said.
He glared at her. Confused, she questioned, “Superman? Are you okay?”
“Yes!” he spat, and started to leave. But then on a second thought he turned back and burst out, “No! I am not okay. What the hell were you thinking, crossing the road like that? Never studied in your first-form about traffic rules, eh? Or forgotten? Is this how you were planning to take care of yourself after marrying Luthor, eh? Oh! I forgot! You wouldn’t have needed to walk had you been married to him, isn’t that it? You’d have had air-conditioned limousines to escort you, eh? Now that Luthor’s gone, you are so dejected that you don’t even value your life and want to go the same way he did!”
“No…”
“Then what? What is it? Do you expect me to keep on trailing behind you, keeping you safe? Do you think I have nothing else to do than to keep you safe? Or was it your trick to make me come to save you so that you can drool all over me like last time?” he spat, his eyes turning almost red with anger.
“No!” she shouted back at him, angry and hurt by his unfounded accusations. “I would have rather have died there than call for you, Superman. You should have known that! After the way you treated me last time, it is a wonder I am still standing here talking to you. All I did that day was ask you if there’s any hope for us. You could have said your ‘No’ a bit more decently. You were the one who made that callous joke about my robe. And you didn’t even stay through the conversation, did you?”
“So that is it, eh? Who was it, eh, who said that she would love me even if I were an ordinary man, eh? You… you…” he stammered, clutching at her shoulders and shaking her until she was left breathless.
“Superman…” she squeaked, suddenly frightened. Not that he would hurt her physically. She knew he wasn’t capable of harming anybody, even in his anger. But she was frightened of his mood. It seemed as if he was nearing the end of his control. His voice turned very thick and husky. His eyes turned intense black and passionate. As if confirming her suspicions, he roughly pulled her into his arms and his mouth swooped down to claim hers in a very passionate kiss, born out of intense anger.
She protested, trying to push him away. Ignoring her struggles, he caught her hands, twisted them back, imprisoned her with his body and continued to kiss her. She couldn’t resist him. Her mouth softened under his rough attention and she gently kissed him back. His mouth too, softened its ruthless plundering and gently, almost tenderly he tilted her head back, to gain easy access to unexplored recesses of her mouth.
Leaving her mouth, his lips moved down towards her jaw, and then bending her further, he kissed his way down her throat and then drifted lower. Seeing his jacket on her sent a surge of possessiveness through him and he ripped it open with a tug of his super-fingers. Excited, he moved down to capture his prize when –
“No!” she shouted, pulling herself away from him. Hastily covering herself, she turned away from him. The momentary loss of contact cleared his senses and he shook his head. Then the enormity of his actions – what he had been doing and where his mouth had been – sank in. Horrified, he looked at her guiltily.
“I am sorry, Lois. I got… it got… out of control… I didn’t mean…”
She turned around, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
“I shouldn’t have done this, Superman. I love Clark.” she said.
“You love Clark? No Lois, you don’t love Clark. You just think that you love him.” he said softly, as if he was explaining her own mind to her.
She laughed ruefully. A lone tear sticking on her eyelashes fell, as she closed her eyes. Then she opened them again.
“I know what you must think of me,” she said sadly, “that I am either a slut running behind men or a person who doesn’t know her own mind. I am sorry Superman, we shouldn’t have kissed. But thank you for saving me today, and all those times before. I shall always be grateful for that, and I shall make sure I don’t put myself in danger henceforth.”
Superman looked at her, dumbstruck. How had she become like this? There was no vibrant-energy, no zest and no fire left in her. There was just defeated acceptance. And the Lois Lane he knew would never accept anything without putting on a fight. And she would never accept defeat! Oh God! What had Luthor done to her?
She walked to a chair and sat down, exhausted by her day’s activities and gave him a depressed smile. She was waiting for him to go away, so that she could cry in peace. But he wasn’t going to go. He wanted her back to normal. He could not leave her like this. It hadn’t been on his agenda to leave her miserable and then go away to some other place. He needed her to be happy. He needed her to be strong. He needed her to become normal. Hell, he needed her!
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Lois didn’t know when she had fallen asleep, or how. All she remembered was that she had been sitting on the chair. Feeling the soft mattress beneath her and the blanket covering her shoulders, she was momentarily confused. She groped for the night-lamp and switched it on. The clock showed that it was almost two o’clock in the morning. Snuggling back into the covers, she turned to the other side when she noticed that somebody was sitting on the chair.
After the initial shock, she remembered that she hadn’t seen Superman leave that night.
“Superman,” she called out softly.
The person in the chair had apparently been sleeping because he visibly jerked on hearing her voice.
“Lois?” he called out softly.
“Clark?” she gasped.
TBC
The nfanfic version of this part has also been posted
