A last minute entry.
___
Heads Up Note: This is a Buffy crossover story. If you know anything about Buffy, you know that vampyness happens. I promise, nothing but nasty scares happen. No on-screen or off-screen deaths of any beloved characters. There is one ‘death’ but I don’t think anyone will mind. If you do mind, you are sicker than you know, eww!
An older man stood next to a bust of Janus, Roman god of beginnings and endings, god of gates, doors and doorways. And, in the mind of man next to the bust, patron of Chaos and Order. He had failed years before to improve the Slayer’s lot. This time he must not fail. The Powers That Be were not so generous with third chances.
This time, a more direct approach was called for. He just hoped that it would be enough. Things in his universe were going to one of the hell dimensions in a hand basket and he had been given a solution that should make everyone happy. He was more than fifty percent certain that it would work. Those odds had almost always served him in the past.
What could go wrong? His mouth twisted in a wry smile. He wished he hadn’t thought that.
***
Lois couldn’t believe her luck. Harlod’s Haberdashery of Halloween Horror had been temporarily closed, by health inspectors, of all things. After this next assignment, she was going to investigate that one. Harlod was a good friend and she wasn’t let him down.
Her mother had taken both Lois and Lucy to Harlod’s for years, before Mrs. Belcanto and her father had their affair. After that, Ellen Lane really didn’t have it together enough to take them.
Years later, Lois used Harlod’s to ‘supplement’ her ‘wardrobe’ when she went undercover. She even had used his establishment when Clark had been a little too rough with his capes and gotten replacements during harvest time when Martha had been too busy.
That, however, was all a mental aside. Where were they going to get costumes for Mr. Stern’s annual Mint Julep Benefit Ball for the orphanages and children hospitals of Metropolis? For some reason, most of the phones and were either busy or out of order at nearly every costume store she called. She was so desperate she went in search of Jimmy for ideas.
***
Jimmy had been a bust. As she sat down at her desk, a previously unnoticed advertisement card caught her attention. It read, “Need a costume in a hurry? At the end of your noose? Try Ethan’s Eclectic Collection of Sci Fi Stichery! For directions and store hours, see back of card.” Lois flipped the card over and grinned. The address was near by. And, even better, it would open in about ten minutes. Today may be her lucky day after all.
***
A silver Jeep pulled up in front of a dim building with blackened windows.
She opened the front door and found the interior brightly lit and clean. There were costumes for manner of Star Trek shows, Babylon Five, both Battlestar Galacticas and just about every other SciFi and horror show every on television.
She looked at several couples but there was always something not right.
Dumbledore & McGonagall were too old.
Worf & Deanna Troy would be too much makeup for Clark and she never went for the topknot look.
Delenn & Sheridan would have been nice except for no glasses for Clark and too much makeup for her.
Capt. James Kirk & Orion Slave Girl would have been WAY too much makeup for her.
Colonel O’Neil & Colonel Carter would have been perfect but there wasn’t anything in her size and no glasses for Clark, again.
Jack the Ripper and Lizzie Borden would have been just a little too morbid
Just as she was about to leave in frustration when a tall thin man with brown hair came up to her. A look of recognition passed across the man’s slightly aged face. “Mrs. Kent, to what do I owe your gracious patronage?” His English accent was smooth and rich, like really good chocolate.
Lois eyed him carefully, “Do I know you, Mister…?”
The man bowed, “Rayne, Ethan Rayne. And how could I not know the lovely face of Lois Lane-Kent of Kent and Kent? You are renowned throughout this country, nay, the world.”
Lois blushed. There was just something about the man that exuded trust and warmth. “Well, Mr. Rayne…”
“Please, call me Ethan.”
Lois nodded. “Well, Ethan, I came here for a costume for my husband and I, but I just can’t seem to find the right thing.”
Ethan’s smile grew even wider. “I know what you mean. Sometimes a person can’t pick out a costume because they can’t truly see themselves as another. Perhaps I can be of assistance?”
There was something about the tone of his voice that allowed her to be lead through the store by the hand of the older gentleman. They passed by many different costumes. He had paused occasionally, would look at a costume and then look at Lois, appearing to appraise both costume and buyer and would give a mild shake to his head and continue on through the store.
Finally, he came to another horror section, near the back of the store. It was for that new series, Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. It wasn’t a show that she and Clark normally watched, but it was awfully popular with many different layers of society. It was in it’s second season and the blurb for last week’s show had all the girls of the town pathologically attracted to some character called Xander. It really didn’t sound like one to write home about. Lois mentally shook her head and focused on what Ethan was saying. She notice that he seemed to favor a green crystal pendant that hung around his neck. ‘At least it isn’t glowing’, she thought.
“This is what I think will wear on you quite nicely.” Ethan walked around a display of cheerleader clothes and blond wigs. There were a generous stack of wooden stakes near by as well.
“I really don’t think I am young enough…” she started when Ethan interrupted her.
“Nonsense! Your beauty is the wellspring of youthful vigor. I can’t imagine you in any other costume. You must simply try it on.” He firmly grabbed the green crystal pendant. “I insist.”
***
Lois looks in the mirror and she likes what she sees. A long blond wig, cheerleader’s outfit and stake, poised for the final plunge. She really did look the part of the young Slayer.
Ethan was looking over her shoulder and saw something else. The wig looked a little dorky on her and the outfit was just not proportioned for a woman in her mid-thirties. But the charm around his neck was doing it’s job. “Stunning, absolutely stunning! Your husband will very pleased, I’m sure.”
A seductive smile appeared on Lois’ face. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right.” She continued to twist and turn in the mirror. “What do you have in mind for my husband?”
She had given Ethan her husband’s measurements earlier, as she changed into the costume, so it didn’t surprise her that he already had something picked out. What did surprise her was what he handed to her. Fangs, a trench coat, what looked like a really bumpy prosthetics and yellowish contact lenses.
“I would have thought that Giles would have been a better match for him. They both wear glasses, for one thing.”
Ethan reached up for his pendant again. He stroked it, almost lovingly. “Yes, I can see where that thought would occur to you, but really now, Angel Buffy’s one true love. Her, soulmate, as it were. Why have tweed when you can have, passion?”
Ethan thought to himself, ‘Besides, giving Ripper super powers will not accomplish what we want.’
“Passion is a good thing.” Lois gave it a moment’s thought and decided. “Yes, I’ll take it. How much for everything?”
Ethan dickered with her a little and appeared to take a loss on the price. If everything worked out, the non-material rewards would be worth the loss.
***
“Honey, do you really think this will look alright? There is no way glasses will work with this forehead application.” Clark looked worriedly into his mirror.
“Yes, no one will even think of you as Superman with all that stuff on. We’ll just say that we got you a pair of tinted contacts.”
Lois turned around and looked at Clark in his costume. “You look good enough to eat.”
“Funny, I thought that would be my line.”
“We could be a little late to the ball, if you like?”
“When have I not liked being late?”
“Lose the fangs, Flyboy.”
***
Lois(The Slayer) and Clark(Angel) stepped into the elevator on the ground floor of Stern Tower and pressed the sixtieth floor. They were more than fashionably late. The mirrored interior showed Clark leaning in for a kiss. Lois backed away. “Maybe after you take those things out.” A part of her mind noticed that one of the lights in the elevator had gone out, causing a shadowed area in the far corner.
***
The sun was setting and time was slipping away. If he didn’t speak the words of power soon, a great loss would happen that would be difficult too undo.
Ethan came through the curtain and knelt before his statue of Janus. He pressed his hands together and winced in pain. When he pulls them apart there are wounds in his palms, and blood is flowing freely from them.
“The worlds that denies you, you inhabit.”
He dabbed the blood from his left hand with his right middle finger and
smeared it over his right eyelid.
***
Clark pops out the fangs for a quick kiss and a nibble on Lois’ neck.
***
“The peace that eludes man you,...”
He dabbed the blood from his right hand with his left middle finger and
smeared it over his left eyelid.
“...provide.”
***
Lois moans as Clark’s tongue plays across the crook of her neck.
***
He dabbed the blood from his left hand with his right middle finger again
and smeared a circle onto his forehead.
“Order. I remain, as ever, your faithful, atoning son.”
***
Clark pops the fangs back in and checks out his appearance in the elevator’s reflective surfaces.
***
Ethan takes a deep breath and speaks the final phrase. “Janus, I invoke your spirit. Hear my plea. Seize this night for your own reason. Come, appear and show to us that which you can do.”
***
Lois commented on their appearance. “We could take their places and the world would never know.
***
“The mask transforms itself into flesh and blood. Your perfect presence calms the heart. Janus! Take this night!”
***
Clark grinned. “I don’t know about that.”
***
Ethan raised his head up. “SHOWTIME!” A wave a power flows forth from the little costume shop and seeks out it’s assignment.
***
Clark jerked back like he had just been hit by something. Lois similarly staggered to one side of the elevator.
***
“Angelus?”
“Buffy?”
The Slayer looks up in time to see Angelus image fade from the mirrors. “What kind of trick are you pulling now, Angelus?” She moved toward the elevator doors. Her Angel looked odd, but he was in the only deep shadow of the elevator.
Angelus shook his head, confused. He had been chasing that gypsy computer teacher and somehow, he had ended up here, in an elevator with his precious Slayer. She looked taller than normal, but she was in silhouette from a light just above the doors. They must be playing tricks on his eyes. His stomach was churning, but he had his game face on, so his face didn’t give away his slight discomfort. “No tricks, my love. That I know of. I could ask you the same thing. How did you get me here?”
“’I’ got ‘you’ here? That’s a laugh. I was on my way home to have a heart to heart with my mom. I was going to ask you the same. Look’s like we are both pawns, this time. What where you doing?”
“You really don’t want me to answer that.” Angelus moved into the light a little and Buffy got confused. He sounded like her Angel, but he sure didn’t look like her Angel. He was in game face, but even she could tell something was wrong. He looked in pain. Was he faking, she wondered.
Angelus dropped to his knees. He finally pegged what was bothering him, at least mentally. His heart was beating. His eyesight was better, his hearing more acute, but his heart was beating. And, that which made him Angelus was becoming agitated. “Is it warm in here?”
Buffy was torn, go to him, be tricked and possibly die or go and help the recently demon repossessed body of her lover.
Angelus’s eyes closed and he let out a scream that cracked the mirrors in the elevator and blew Buffy back into the elevator door. ‘What the…’
Further thought was postponed by Angelus writhing in pain on the floor of the elevator. “It burns! IT BURNSSSSS!!!!” His voice became garbled and he clawed at his chest, ripping open his shirt and leaving bleeding marks on his chest. He collapsed to the floor and was still.
Buffy instantly went to his side and lifted him up. His game face was gone and his eye looked void of life. Yet, his heart was…beating?
Suddenly, he gasped and took a huge breath. The lines on his chest where closing up and eventually faded to nothing.
He looked paler than normal but he was giving off the wrong vibes for a vampire. His eyes opened and a confused look was on his face. “Buffy?” She nodded. His eyes had changed. He didn’t look like Angel, but the eyes looked like that of her one time lover. “Buffy, its me, Angel. Angelus is gone. Not just caged, but gone.”
Buffy did her best Spock imitation with her eyebrow. “How is that possible? I thought that would kill your body.”
“I, I don’t know. One second I was drifting in the ether the next I was being drawn here. This body is not my own, though. I, I don’t even think it is human. There is a vast amount of raw energy in this body that is almost too much to bare. I feel like I could fly!”
Buffy took a really good look at the Angel’s new face. It looked vaguely familiar, like she had seen it on TV or something like that. She noticed something else as well. Angel was casting a reflections in the mirrors of the elevator.
DING! The elevator finally arrived at the sixtieth floor.
The door opened and there was Darth Vader standing there to great them. All he did was breath heavy. Behind him was a man dressed in a Superman costume and it clicked. Buffy politely smiled and dragged Angel off to one side. “Angel, put your game face back on.” She ordered in a stage whisper.
Angel immediately vamped out and cocked an eyebrow at her. She explained, “I think you are in Superman’s body.”
“Superman? But he’s…” he took a good look at Buffy’s face. “Well, If I am Superman, you’re a dead ringer for a blonde Lois Lane!”
Both of them got the same thought at the same time. “ETHAN!”
“When I find that weasel, I’m going to knock him into the next Universe!”
“Hey, don’t hurt him too badly, he got rid of Angelus for us.”
Buffy’s temper started to cool. “Ok, maybe, just this once, I’ll leave his body alone, but I will definitely give him a piece of my mind. I wonder how many others here are in the same boat?”
“I don’t know, but it was a good call for me to be in game face. If Lois Lane was attending a costume ball, why would she go with Superman? I think I am supposed to be Clark Kent.” He started to pat his pockets and found a pair of glasses in the one of the inner pockets of his duster. He examined them carefully and found them to have plain glass in them. He put them on and relaxed his face. “How do I look?”
“I am amazed what a simple pair of glasses can do for a person.”
***
After some subtle observation they were able to determine that they seemed to be the only ones affected, at least here. They hastily made for an exit and went to the roof. The moon was full and the night was still young. However, they didn’t know how long this transformation would last and decided to go back down the normal way and not go for a flight, just in case.
Buffy opened the purse that she was carrying and found Ethan’s advertisement card. They hailed a taxi and made it to the costume shop in record time. Angel accidentally took the doors off it’s hinges.
“ETHAN RAYNE! SHOW YOUR LIMEY FACE NOW!”
Rather quickly, a humble Ethan showed up. Angel looked disappointed. “Dang, I was hoping to use my new abilities to find out where you were hiding.”
Ethan smiled. It had worked. He could see Clark’s reflection in a nearby mirror. “Well, there’s gratitude for you. I see that not only has Liam taken residence, but the demon, Angelus seems to have left you, for good, I hope.”
Buffy had an incredulous look on her face. “So, you are going to tell us that you did all this out of the kindness of your black heart? I’m not buying that.”
Ethan gave her a smug shrug of the shoulders. In his hands was a small device that he fidgeted with. “I could try and explain it but you wouldn’t believe me anyway, so why bother. Suffice it to say that I came across some information that caused me to make right what once was wrong. I am not from your present, but from many years in the future. Both of you were miserable and so many of your friends were dead by then that you both had started to give up the fight. A ‘means’ of transporting me into the past and into this universe became available and my mission was simple, break Angel’s curse before Jenny Calendar was killed. That moment in time apparently is one of many foci in your respective journey’s. I think you will be happy when you get back to our universe. This was mostly for Liam’s benefit, but on the other hand, the changes made to Lois Lane-Kent’s body will also make Others happy was well. Toodles!”
Even with Superman’s speed, the unawares Angel was not able to stop Ethan from smashing the bust and pressing a button on the device in his hands. A portal of some kind opened behind him and a hand reached through it and pulled Ethan back through. The portal closed immediately after.
Buffy and Angel felt the change taking place. They were going home.
***
Lois and Clark found themselves back in their universe, they hoped. There was a smashed bust at their feet, but no Ethan. “Guess Herb was able to retrieve him.”
“Guess so.”
“Well, at least this time, Herb did a better job at breaking their curse.” Lois smirked.
“True, but, vampires, werewolves, and witches? I hope what I never meet any of them again. Too freaky for my tastes.”
“I don’t know. If we ever meet another vampire, I’ll know what to do.” Lois wiggled her eyebrows.
“Well, right now, I know exactly what you can do with that extra stamina that you now have…”
The End.
