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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
Well? What do you think? Where is it going from here do you think?
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 921 |
I can't get over how beautful this story is. And so rich. The characterizations of Lois, Clark, and Lisa are all so wonderful. Lisa, in particular, is so well developed and believable for such a complicated girl.
Now about those necklaces... What is Lana planning to do with them once she has them? I can't quite figure it out. They don't kill Clark, just make him act greedy. Is she trying to get him to do something that would be bad publicity and then expose him?
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
“When Lana found out what I was, what I could do, it changed things between us.”
“She didn't like it?”
....
“Not at first. I think it bothered her a lot, until I started getting rich.”
Lisa nodded. She'd seen and heard enough of what went on between adults to know a little about how that went.
“She liked having nice things.”
“She liked being looked up to,” Clark said. “People admiring her because of her car or house or position as a trophy wife…I think she grew up that way and didn't know any better.”
....
“That's why you aren't worried about her telling about you.” Lisa said.
Her father nodded. “She has as much to lose as I do. If people knew she'd been slee…married to something that wasn't human, they might look down on her, and she won't tolerate that.” Amazing description of Lana! And I loved when Clark said "If people knew she'd been slee...married to someone who wasn't human". Hmmmm, is it too early to tell Lisa about the birds and the bees? “Lex is dead, right?”
Joshua nodded. “He committed suicide after his criminal misdealings were mysteriously revealed to the police.”
“Clark?” Lois asked.
Joshua nodded. “Clark and Lex had clashed over a number of business decisions- companies they both wanted to buy, deals they wanted to make. Lex always wanted to get a leg up on Clark, so when he found a chance with Lana…” Fantastic! This Clark had been Lex's archenemy because they were bitter business rivals! “So that's why Clark divorced her?”
Joshua shook his head. “She divorced him and took half his net worth with her. It was a major coupe for Lex. Lex loved rubbing it in whenever they'd meet.” Wowzers!!! “So Clark went to the police with information about dirty business dealings?”
“He was running guns to Africa and he was being paid in conflict diamonds. He was responsible for burning down much of the dock district in Metropolis so he could rebuild it, and he was the one who blew up both the Messenger and Prometheus shuttles.”
“So he could build the Luthor space station.”
For all that Clark claimed to be a ruthless businessman, Lois couldn't imagine him killing innocent people in the name of profits. Good. Even ruthless Clark isn't like ruthless Lex. In fact, she'd been doing some digging, and from what she could see, he'd made a lot of changes since his divorce from Lana. His mines were considered some of the safest in the country because of new safety regulations and expensive equipment.
He'd instituted progressive policies in the workplace, and efficiency was up in most of his companies. Good. Oddly enough, the people who worked in his subsidiary companies seemed more loyal to him than his own staff did. I wonder why? Joshua said, “Clark bought up a lot of the companies piecemeal after Lex Luthor died. With the stocks plunging like they were he got most of them for a song.”
“That seems…a little ghoulish.” Lois said uncertainly. Clark had as much as admitted that he hadn't always been a good man, but still…
“He kept a lot of people working who otherwise wouldn't have,” Joshua said sharply. “And he turned a lot of the businesses over to the Foundation. Luthor Labs is now working on curing cancer, on spinal chord injuries, on actually curing diseases instead of just finding expensive long term treatments.” Lana must have been furious. Lois blinked, surprised. She hadn't realized Joshua was so passionate about the Foundation.
“A long time ago Clark promised me I'd walk again, and I believed him.” Joshua hesitated. “I believe in him more and more every day.” I was moved by this. I hope Clark can keep his promise. “What happened to him?” Lois asked. “With Lana?”
Joshua looked quickly down at his desk and said, “It's not my place to say.” It must have something to do with Lana's inability to have children, right? As Lois saw Kal El bringing Lisa in for a landing, she wondered what the servants had been told. It had to be a little suspicious, the costumed hero spending so much time with a little girl.
Lisa was laughing, and Lois felt her heart constrict. It had been too long since she'd heard her daughter laugh.
The hunted look in her eyes was almost gone, and she was starting to finally relax. She seemed happier here than she had in a long time, and it wasn't the surroundings, although she had to admit that the food was exceptional.
Lois blinked as she realized that the heavy black rimmed glasses were gone, replaced by one of the stylish frames Clark Kent had bought for her. Apparently Clark or Kal had managed to get the lenses made and fitted.
They looked good on her.
“Mom!” Lisa said. She ran up the hill and hugged her mother. “I can make holes in things without burning them!”
“I can do that too,” Lois said, making a punching motion with her finger at her daughter.
Lisa giggled and twisted out of the way. “I'm not perfect, but Da- Kal says I just need to practice.”
She'd almost said dad. Lois smiled slightly and said, “Why don't you go wash up for dinner?”
Why did she feel a pang of jealousy? This was a relationship Lisa needed. It was one that appeared to be more than good for her, yet Lois couldn't help but feel the same pangs she'd felt when she'd seen Lisa responding to Clark Kent, but worse this time.
At least Clark Kent didn't have any sort of real bond with her other than kindness.
Kal El, though, was her father, and for some reason, Lois felt a little threatened. Poor Lois. But she has to accept that Kal/Clark has to be a huge part of her daughter's life. Of course, he should tell her about his double identity. He watched her, his expression unreadable. “She's going through some of the same things I went through. We can relate.”
“Is there anything I need to watch for?”
“She's going to need less sleep the older she gets,” he said. “She won't need to eat as much. Eventually, she may not need to eat at all.”
This surprised Lois and worried her a little. The need to eat was one of the most fundamental things about being a human being, or alive for that matter.”
At her expression, he rushed to say, “She'll be able to eat if she wants to, but after she's done growing, she'll get most of her energy from the sun.”
If Lois had been on her own, she'd have worried that Lisa wasn't sleeping or eating. Those were signs of depression that she was familiar with after having lived with Ellen Lane. It is absolutely essential that Clark can be there for his daughter and for Lois, because he is the only one who can understand what is happening to Lisa. Lois blinked. The implications of that were huge. Was he saying that losing his homeworld was so traumatic that he'd blocked most of it off? Or was he saying he'd been too young to remember his people?
Either way, she had to downgrade her estimate of when he'd come to earth. He'd been wearing the glasses when they'd first met. She had a few vague memories of those heavy lenses. She'd assumed that meant he was still new to his abilities.
But if he'd been on earth since he was Lisa's age…that suggested that he'd once lived as a human being. It meant he might have another name, another family, other children, a whole other life.
It explained why he was around so rarely, even when the news reports were empty of suitable disasters. Yes! She is beginning to figure out that Kal might have another identity. “You need to watch out,” she said at last. “Someone has been buying up necklaces and bracelets before your people can get to them, and at least one of them was driving a car owned indirectly by Luthorcorp.”
She almost thought she saw his face pale for a moment.
“Watch out for Lana Lang.” Watch out for her, indeed! Another brilliant chapter, Shayne! Ann
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Oooohh, Shayne! You posted yet *again*.  You've made my weekend! “When Lana found out what I was, what I could do, it changed things between us.”
“She didn’t like it?”
Lisa had thought long and hard about telling someone, anyone. She’d known better than to tell Janice, because after Janice’s experiences with her brother, she’d have been sure to tell.
Anybody else would look at her like a freak, and that was the last thing Lisa wanted.
“Not at first. I think it bothered her a lot, until I started getting rich.”
Lisa nodded. She’d seen and heard enough of what went on between adults to know a little about how that went.
“She liked having nice things.”
“She liked being looked up to,” Clark said. “People admiring her because of her car or house or position as a trophy wife…I think she grew up that way and didn’t know any better.”
Lisa stared at him dubiously.
“Her father was the town banker, and the whole family always wanted people to treat them like they were something special.”
“That’s why you aren’t worried about her telling about you.” Lisa said.
Her father nodded. “She has as much to lose as I do. If people knew she’d been slee…married to something that wasn’t human, they might look down on her, and she won’t tolerate that.” You're gonna have to elaborate more about what Lana did to Clark...as if leaving him for Luthor and taking half of his net worth wasn't enough. If she were married to a handsome loving rich man, why leave, except for the fact that they couldn't conceive. But certainly Clark is better off. I just hate that he has *been with* Lana. “What happened to him?” Lois asked. “With Lana?”
Joshua looked quickly down at his desk and said, “It’s not my place to say.” Clark needs to talk to Lois and explain things--tell her who he is or I get the feeling that Lana is going to let it *slip*. I hate that Clark isn't telling Lois about himself. She is the one person that he can trust. Her...their daughter's life is at stake. “Mom!” Lisa said. She ran up the hill and hugged her mother. “I can make holes in things without burning them!”
“I can do that too,” Lois said, making a punching motion with her finger at her daughter. Lois and Lisa have a wonderful relationship. This is such a cute exchange. Lois is going to be really hurt when she finds out that Lisa knew about Clark and didn't tell her. “How long will that be?” Lois asked.
It was nice being here, but she didn’t want Lisa to have to grow up in an isolated life with tutors and nannies. Lisa had friends back at home and a life. Just don't expect to return to Metropolis after the summer is over. Clark, I'm betting will not hear of it. I'd like to see more of Lois and Clark developing a relationship and elaborate on what they are feeling toward each other. Well done Shayne and thank you for posting again. Sorry my feedback has been so scarce but school has been a bear! ~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
I agree that this has been a great story so far. And even though we're getting information in little dribs and drabs, it's enough to maintain the tension without overwhelming us. Great job of balancing things, Shayne.
Does Clark not suspect that Lana's illness might be caused by Kryptonite exposure? Her mental state and her physical state must be linked to each other, and from Lisa's description of her, I'm not sure she has much longer to live. Maybe her final act on Earth will be one of revenge against Clark, one which will put Lisa in mortal danger.
Clark needs to allow himself to feel something towards Lois. I think he's clamped down on his heart, thinking that Lois would be disgusted by him if she knew the whole truth. I think she'd understand, but I'm sure she won't like it.
I also agree that Clark needs to come clean with Lois, but Lois also needs to come clean with Clark. She needs to tell him (as Kal-El) about her jealousy - which even she understands is unreasonable - and about her deductions concerning his heritage. And she needs to tell Clark that she's getting more comfortable with him, that she understands him better than she did before. And thank you so much for those little tidbits about how Clark behaved when he bought Lex's businesses. It shows his natural, innate goodness (for lack of a better term) and lets us know that Lana was a major driving force in Clark's less savory past moments.
I think Lisa will spill the beans soon. She's going to refer to Clark as 'Dad' one of these times and Lois will put two and two together.
That will be interesting to watch. And I can hardly wait to see it.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Well Lex had it coming. Poor, confused Lois.  Michael
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 67
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 67 |
I'm glad we got to hear a bit more about Joshua. I really liked the way Lois is reacting to the developing relationship between Laura and Clark. You tell it in such a way that its easy to see why Lois would be getting a bit jealous.
One question, maybe I just totally read it weird, but who said the final line "Watch out for Lana Lang". Im not sure it was very clear.
Im assuming its Lois trying to warn clark, but it could also be clark warning Lois to be careful of his exwife.
Cheers, Em
Lois: Clark, you don't have to be embarrassed. That's what friends are for. Just tell me how much.
Clark: Lois, I want you to go out with me!
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Superb!! (sorry haven't been commenting lately.. but have definitely been reading it!)  Lois' comment about people under Clark's direct control (namely servants) makes me think that some might be under Lana's pay, especially his scar-faced chauffeur  Necklaces and jewelery exist in both red and green, correct, so maybe Lana has a more sinister plan. Rather than hurting Clark directly.. she might be planning to hurt Lisa.. I'm sure she's figured out Lisa's relatioship with Clark. hmm eep!!
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
Her father nodded. “She has as much to lose as I do. If people knew she’d been slee…married to something that wasn’t human, Poor Clark.  That bitch has destroyed his self-esteem.  After having met Lana, it didn’t surprise her. She didn’t need a sign to realize that Lana had betrayed him terribly; Dielanadielanadielanadielana!!!!!!!  Well... where is next part?  Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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