Many thanks to Beth for looking this over for me. This chapter would not have held together nearly as well without her.
Lois stretched as she sat at her desk. It had been a very long night and unfortunately not as fruitful as she would have liked. Eventually, they had conceded defeat, at least for now.
Clark had taken Martha home and Lois had taken a nap, but did not get more than a couple of hours sleep before needing to head to the Union-Trib. She wrote up the story on the Australian earthquake relatively quickly, choosing to keep the kryptonite a secret for now, and was studying her notes on her newest case with Abby when John came by her desk.
“Good article on the earthquake, Lois,” he said as he sat on the corner of her desk.
Lois smiled up at him, “Thanks, John. What's up?”
“Whatcha doing tonight?” he asked.
Lois shrugged. She and Clark had tentative plans for him to come back to discuss kryptonite some more, but that was no reason for her not to make other plans. Who knew if Clark would even be able to make it?
“None that I can't break,” she replied.
“I have an invitation to the Jersey Donovan ball. I promised Rosemary that I would attend.” Rosemary Donovan was a long time friend of John's. Her son, Jersey, had been born three years ago with Down's Syndrome and she held a ball every year to raise money for Down's Syndrome research.
“I thought it may be a good place for you to find some more information on what Skagle is up to.” John explained. “Abby's in-laws are in town, but I do have an extra ticket.”
Lois nodded. She and Abby were working on a series of articles about Mike Skagle, an up and coming congressman. Skagle had come from no where to suddenly be the leading candidate for next year's election, and Lois and Abby wanted to know why. It was rare for the public to get interested in a senatorial election this early, but Mike had made a big splash. How he had managed to accrue campaign funds so early, no one knew.
“That would be great,” Lois smiled, although she wondered for a second what Clark would think.
“Perfect. I'll pick you up at eight then?” John asked.
Lois nodded, deciding it did not matter what Clark thought. She and Clark were not involved and she had no intention of changing that fact. Besides, this was just a work dinner, so even if she had been dating someone, it would not be a problem.
**********************************************************************
Lois smoothed down her black dress while she waited for John. Given the late night she had had yesterday, she was eager to get home and into bed.
The party had been wonderful. John had arrived right on time and they had gotten to the party just as things had been getting started. He had immediately gone over to Rosemary, bringing Lois with him.
“Rosemary, this is Lois Lane,” he had introduced. “Lois, Rosemary Donavan.”
Lois and Rosemary had shook hands, Rosemary bestowing a warm smile on Lois and a kiss to John's cheek. “You must be something pretty special for John to let you come with him,” Rosemary said. “John is very particular about his dates and often comes alone rather than bring someone he'd rather not spend the evening with. He's the pickiest man I know.”
Lois smiled as John blushed slightly. “Come now, Rosemary. You must recognize the name Lois Lane. She's one of my star reporters at the Union-Trib.”
“Oh, right,” Rosemary said, “You wrote that article on the gun smuggling going on via Communicheck,” Rosemary exclaimed with admiration.
Lois smiled brightly. It was wonderful when someone recalled her writing and even better when it was not a Superman article they remembered. “Yes, I wrote that with Abby Winters. Thank you for remembering,” she said.
“Remember? It was some of the best newspaper writing I've seen in a long time,” Rosemary stated.
“My point exactly!” John piped in.
“Well, if you two would excuse me, I must go say hello to Piper Summers. John, definitely come over to chat once things slow down and I have more time,” Rosemary said as she walked towards more entering guests.
“Thank you,” Lois said to John.
He simply shrugged in response, “I never speak anything that isn't the truth. Would you like a drink?” he asked.
Lois nodded and the two moved toward the bar set up in the corner of the room.
“How's Sammy?” John asked.
“She's doing well,” Lois replied. “She's made several new friends at her day care and doesn't miss having her Aunt Lolo taking care of her at all.”
“I find that hard to believe,” John said, “Although, to be fair, when I first met you, I had trouble imagining you taking care of a child at all. But now that I know you, it's different. I would be very surprised to learn that she doesn't miss you something awful. How about you? Do you miss it?”
“Taking care of Sammy?” Lois asked. At John's nod, she continued, “Sometimes. I feel like she's developing a life without me. She's making new friends I've never met, she's learning new words without me. Well, you know. But most of the time, no, I love what I'm doing.”
“You know, if you ever wanted to take some time off to spend with Sammy, it would be okay with me,” John said. “Or if you wanted to work from home sometimes, that's fine, too.”
Lois smiled. That was just like John. The happiness of his employees was very important to him. As a result, he had one of the most loyal writing staffs in the business.
She placed a hand on his arm as she replied, “It's fine, John. If I wanted to spend some time at home, you'd be the first to know.”
“Good to hear,” he smiled back at her.
“So, what about you? How are things going with Cobey?”
John laughed. “He's eating me out of house and home. Someone should have told me how much golden retrievers eat. Still, I love him. Even when he wakes me up at five in the morning to go for a walk.”
Shortly after that, John had left her alone so she could get some work done and
he had been the perfect companion the rest of the evening, showing up to make sure she was comfortable every so often, but mostly leaving her alone.
And she had managed to dig up a little more knowledge about Skagle. Not much, but she talked to someone who was equally surprised at his rise in the polls and mentioned that Skagle had tried running for senator in Maryland five years ago but had gotten no where. However, according to him, Skagle had made some new friends since then, including the very well known and well-off Mickey Weis.
There was no real data to support the idea that Weis would have any interest in supporting Skagle's political career, though, given that with his fame he could have run for office himself had he wanted.
At this point, Lois doubted she could get any more information and was ready to head home.
Spotting John across the room chatting with Rosemary, she moved over to him to place a hand on his arm. He turned to her with a smile and whispered, “Are you about to turn into a pumpkin, Cinderella? You look ready to drop.”
Lois smiled at him gratefully. “I am ready to drop. No need for you to leave, I can make my own way, but I did want to let you know that I'm heading for home.”
“Nonsense. Let me take you,” John insisted. It was one of his better qualities – always the gentleman, but he knew when to stop, when his tendencies may make him seem chauvinistic rather than polite.
“No, you're having fun,” Lois insisted.
“You don't have a choice,” John cut over her. “I need to make sure you get home all right. How else can I be sure I'll have something to print on the front page tomorrow?”
Lois smiled indulgently and acquiesced.
She had never spent time with John alone before, but realized that just from all their interactions at work and work events she felt comfortable with him in a way she normally did not with others. At work, John pushed her, but during off hours, he seemed readily available and had already gone out of his way for her.
When she was looking to buy Mrs. Wilkins apartment, John had overheard her telling Abby that she was having trouble getting a loan. Given her long hiatus from working, the bank considered her a risky loanee. He had offered to co-sign the loan for her. At the time, Lois had felt firmly that she should not take favors from her boss, but he had insisted that he was a friend as well. When she realized she had no choice unless she wanted to keep living with Lucy and Sean, she had taken John up on his offer. And in doing so, she realized he was right. John was a friend – he had been there for her twice now at times she really needed him, although he barely knew her the first time, when he had hired her. And he showed a confidence in her that she had not seen from others in a long time. Being around him made her feel more like the Lois she had been in Metropolis, more accomplished and smarter than she had felt in years.
“It's a nice night out,” she said when they stepped outside. “Want to walk back?” she asked. It was only a few blocks over to her apartment and John's car would be fine in the parking lot at the hotel where the party had been.
“Sure,” John agreed, reaching over to place his jacket over her shoulders.
Lois turned to smiled gratefully at him and started to thank him when her heel caught on a crack in the sidewalk and she lurched forward. John reached out and grabbed her arm.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Lois nodded, laughing at herself. “I'm such a klutz,” she exclaimed as John moved his hand down her arm and took her hand.
Lois went to move her hand out of John's grasp when Clark's words came back to her. I feel like you're finally moving on with your job but my being here means you're not moving on with your heart.
Remembering last night with Clark, she grasped John's hand a bit tighter. It was so easy to fall into comfortable patterns with Clark. But she did not trust him and she did not trust herself around him. Getting involved with Clark would be foolish.
Besides, John was just holding her hand. They were hardly going to Las Vegas to get married. So, Lois said nothing and left her hand within John's as they strolling along the quiet city streets.
“Well, here we are,” she announced as they approached her building. John let go of her hand while she rummaged in her bag for her keys and then followed her inside the building once she had opened the door.
The two took the stairs to her third floor apartment quickly, and John put a hand on Lois' shoulder as she worked the locks on her door. For a moment, Lois thought of asking John in, but then decided against it. She was not sure if she really wanted to or if she was just trying to use John as a barrier against Clark.
Still when she had her door open and turned to say goodnight, she was neither surprised nor did she back away when John stepped closer to her. He placed his arms around her in a friendly, comforting way, and Lois found that she fell into his embrace willingly.
He pulled back slightly and lightly brushed his lips over hers, then released her, and whispered, “Good night, Lois,” before walking back down the stairs.
**********************************************************************
Lois kept the lights out as she made her way into her apartment and towards her bedroom. She was analyzing the kiss with John in a way that made her feel a bit like a twelve year old. Still, she felt the need to determine what it meant and if she wanted it to mean any more or less than it did.
She did not see the dark figure until she was nearly to her bedroom door and she gasped. Then turning more fully towards him she realized who it was. “Clark?” she asked into the darkness.
Clark said nothing for a moment and Lois reached over to turn on the light.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just didn't want to disturb your date by letting him know someone was here. I thought I'd slip out the window if you invited him in.”
Clark's words were soft and matter-of-fact, but Lois barely heard them. She was transfixed by the look in his eyes. Clark looked sad and resigned. Before she could stop herself, she asked, “Clark, are you upset because you think I was on a date?”
Clark shook his head no as he explained, “No, of course not. Like I said yesterday, I think you should be dating. I'm happy,” but he could not quite bring off the desired effect and his voice belied his words.
“Clark, did you…” Lois started to ask, but Clark cut her off.
“I'm sorry, I don't sound very sincere, do I?” he paused as he looked around the room, seeming to be trying to look anywhere but at Lois. “I guess, logically, I do want you to date. I am happy to see you doing so again. But, honestly, it makes me a little sad. I know I'm being foolish – you can barely stand me and even if you could, Superman can't have a girlfriend, but still…” Clark trailed off, not fully able or willing to put his thoughts into words.
“Did he kiss you goodnight?” Clark asked a moment later, then turned red. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that.”
“Yes,” Lois answered. She was torn between her desire to make Clark see what he had given up and feeling the need to let him know it was not really a date so he would look less beaten down.
Clark sighed as he looked at some point just over her head, “See, I want that. I want to know what it feels like to kiss you goodnight.”
For a moment, neither of them said anything, and then Clark caught sight of her face. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just came by to see if you wanted to come to Smallville tomorrow night. Mom invited you over to discuss the kryptonite some more.”
Lois, stunned by Clark's earlier words, just nodded her head.
“Okay, I'll come by tomorrow night. Have a good night, Lois,” and before she could reply, Clark was out the door.
Lois continued standing in the doorway of her bedroom for a moment, before slowly walking to over to the door Clark had exited through and closing it.
She walked slowly toward her bedroom and sank onto her bed. Stretching out, she stared at the ceiling not sure what to do. Turning her head to the side to glance at the clock she realized her pillow smelled faintly of Clark from when he had slept in her bed yesterday. She breathed in deeply and felt contentment. Somehow the smell brought back old memories of Clark – of sitting on his couch in Metropolis watching movies or sparring with him over a story in the Daily Planet newsroom. She felt awash in the emotions she had once felt for Clark. Emotions for the man who had been there for her when she found out about Luthor, who had confessed to spending a night outside her apartment on more than one occasion when he felt her life was in danger, who had spent Christmas Eve with her rather than going to visit his family. That Clark had felt like a man who gave and never took, who always put her before everyone else and just generally put other people's needs before himself.
She knew he was not that man anymore, but the look on his face when she had told him John kissed her goodnight was so much like the look on his face when she told him she loved him as a brother it made her nostalgic.
But this was the problem. She wanted to believe Clark was the person she had been partners with back in Metropolis, but she knew that man had never really existed.
