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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 177
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 177 |
Oh dear, poor Lisa! I hope Lana isn't too harsh on her.
I'm enjoying the story.
In the first paragraph you have Lois hearing the bugs, not Lisa.
Sue
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 844
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 844 |
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Poor Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clark: "You don't even know the meaning of the word 'humility,' do you?"
Lois: "Never had a need to find out its meaning."
"Curiosity... The Continuing Saga"
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Ack well I liked the date in the last part but the Lana part just seems an unnecessary burden in the story to me. But I'll stick with it. I am sure the burden will force the two lovers closer in the end or what would be the point. And I know you usually are good about fixing things. More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Loved the kidnapping scenes!!  Looking forward to Clark finding and rescuing Lisa and Lois finding and rescuing both of them ..or.... 
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
If Lisa had been afraid of bugs, she'd have gone mad the first time her hearing had appeared. On a quiet day, when it wasn't drowned out by the larger sounds of the human world, Lisa could hear the sounds of thousands of feet marching through the soil beneath her. Interspersed with those sounds were occasional tiny popping sounds that had puzzled her until she'd asked her father about them.
When he'd explained, she'd flushed and giggled. An anthill sounded a little like popcorn in a microwave sometimes, and Lisa could simply lie in the sun all day just enjoying the sounds of the earthworms crawling through the ground. I absolutely and totally loved this, Shayne. Particularly since you had Lois say to Clark in the previous chapter that she, unlike him, couldn't hear ants farting! But the kidnapping of Lisa was almost more than I could take! Please, please, please save Lisa soon. Maybe better yet, let Lois do it! (And maybe she can save Clark at the same time?) Ann
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Lois is pretty much the only who can save Lisa now. Clark is susceptible to the red and green K and can only do so much at this point. It was interesting that Lisa caught the scent of Lana's physical deterioration so powerfully. Surely Clark can sense it too? Or has he convinced himself that Lana's condition has stabilized?
I wonder if Lisa hurt Bruno when she hit him? And I wonder if Lois is going to beat the crap out of Lana or just kill her to save time?
Great story, Shayne! Good timing, too. Lisa's kidnapping came at a tipping point in Lois and Clark's relationship, and it will indeed either push them together or drive them apart. I suspect the former, but I'll make room for the latter.
So where's the next chapter?
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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 Eek! Darn Kryptonite. I figure that Clark will hear Lisa scream in her mind (Kryptonians are telepathic, don't you know) and swoop in to be captured by the evil Lana. Lois will find them and rescue them, though. How else will Clark keep his promise to Joshua? Absolutely fantastic detail written about Lisa's superhearing. I agree with her - there is a rhythm to nature and it can be so calming. Loving the story, BJ
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
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Bad...bad...bad Shayne...but you're so good at it!
Hurry back!
~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999 |
As mentioned, the timing of this development is perfect. This situation will surely push the relationship between Lois and Clark in one direction or the other. I doubt that they'll be able to stay 'at arm's length' after this.
A case could be made for Lois and Clark getting much closer together if forced into a mutual support/comfort situation should Lisa not survive Lana's machinations.
Story is going strong, as to be expected. Looking forward to more.
Tank (who thinks that Lois is going to be forced into becoming the hero before this one is done)
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