AN: A BIG thanks goes out to LaraMoon and CarolM who graciously beta'd this for me. I am convinced that with out them you would just be reading monkey gibberish.
Here is my ficathon story written for Coolgirl.
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She watched him standing in the lobby of the Planet, eyeing the rain outside. He sighed a bit to himself, as if accepting the fate that awaited him. Reaching to his overcoat he tugged it up and over his head, and started toward the door.
Lois shook her head. She knew he had an umbrella this morning when he had walked into work. She had seen him carry it in. Knowing Clark, he had probably given it away to someone he thought needed it more than himself. He really was too much of a Boy Scout sometimes.
Now he was probably going to run out into the rain and walk home, getting soaking wet in the process. Well, she wasn't about to listen to him complain about being sick for the rest of the week... or worse end up taking his slack when he ended up having to stay home. Deciding she better act before he ran out into the rain, she marched forward.
“Clark! Wait up.”
Clark turned around in surprise and let his coat slip back down off of his head.
“Lois, what's up?”
Looking him up and down, Lois shook her head. “Little old lady?”
“What?”
“Sick orphan?”
Clark looked positively puzzled at this point. “Lois what in the world are you talking about?”
Putting her hand on her hip Lois huffed at him. “Your umbrella, Clark? Who swindled you out of it? Who took advantage of that sickly sweet personality of yours and stole it?”
“Um... No one. I must have lost it. I couldn't find it when I went to leave. I was hoping that the rain would have turned into snow by now and I wouldn't need it.” Clark winced mentally at his lie. He had actually had an unfortunate incident with the object in question when he had spun into his Superman costume too quickly. Shoes, pants, and shirts all faired well when he had to change in a hurry, but apparently umbrellas just didn't have the same sort of wind resistance.
He watched Lois roll her eyes and motion to him. “Well, you're lucky that I'm here. You can share my umbrella and maybe if you play your cards right I'll drive you home. Besides, even if it had turned into snow who would want to walk in that? I hate it even worse than rain.”
Clark stepped under her umbrella and settled in close to Lois. It wasn't overly large so they had to stand close together; not that he minded.
“What are you talking about? Snow is wonderful! Sure it turns into an ugly mess after a while but that first falling of snow... it's almost magical. It's the only time of year when everything looks beautiful and pure. It's like everyone's sins are washed clean even if the illusion only lasts for a short time.”
Lois stared at her partner and shook her head. “Only you could romanticize snow. I bet you wouldn't think that if you had to clean if off your car every morning.”
Clark laughed. “Touche! You know, I'm kinda glad you caught me today. I've been meaning to ask you something for a while.”
“It's not real.”
“What?” One eyebrow rose while he stared at her as if she had just grown a second head.
“Mayson's hair. She isn't a real blond. I'm sure of it.” Lois smirk was visible and he knew she was teasing him.
“Lois, I'm not talking about Mayson, I'm talking about asking you a favor.”
“Oh?”
He stopped for a moment. Did he really want to go through with this? Was he really ready to ask her to do this? It would change things forever and maybe not in a good way. He knew it was well past time for him to step forward and do this.
“I was wondering if you might want to go with me Saturday to a Christmas party at the Metropolis Children's Hospital? I need someone to help me hand out some gifts for a local charity that I work with. I did it last year but it was really hectic and disorganized. It would be a lot better if I had someone to help me, and the company would be nice, too.”
“Hmm, working with kids? I don't know. Kids have this sixth sense when it comes to me. They all seem to know I'm uncomfortable. They're like dogs: they can sense my fear and go right for my throat.”
Laughing, Clark steered Lois out of the way of a rogue mud puddle and to her car. “Lois, you aren't that bad with kids. Remember Amy, that little girl you took in when Dr. Carlton was experimenting on children? You didn't do so badly with her.”
“Hmm, in the end it turned out all right I guess, but that was only after she tied me to a chair and took apart my TV.”
“Come on, I'll be there and I promise I'll protect you from the scary little children.” Clark gave her the best pouty / pleading face he could muster up. Hopefully she would bite the hook before she realized what the rest of the deal involved.
Lois watched Clark. He was wearing that look on his face. The one she could never say no to. The one that made her melt a little inside. The one that made her want to say yes to anything he asked of her.
“Okay, I'll do it. But only because it's for charity and only because I have nothing else to do that day.”
Opening the door to her Jeep and getting in, she vowed right then and there to add an item to her New Year's resolution list:
Resolution #1 - You are losing your touch. Stop being such a softy.
Clark, realizing he had almost sealed the deal, rushed forward in a quick jumble of words as he got into the car. “Great. Then I'll be by the day before with your costume.”
Lois froze and slowly turned her head toward him with a glare.
“Costume? You didn't say anything about a costume! You fink! What do I have to dress up as?”
“Anelf,” came the mumbled reply. If she was mad about this, what was she going to do when Clark showed up in his costume?
“Say that again. Slower.”
“An Elf. Come on Lois, I promise it isn't anything embarrassing. In fact most of the hospital staff will be dressed just like you. You would probably stick out more if you didn't dress up.”
“So who are you going to be dressed as?”
“I'm the one all the kids are going to be waiting for.”
Lois eyed him for a moment and smiled. She could dress up as an elf for one day if it meant getting to see Clark dressed up in an ugly Santa suit.
“Deal! Looks like we have a date for Christmas.”
Rolling her eyes, Lois pulled her Jeep out into traffic and hoped that she hadn't gotten herself into something she was going to regret.
* * *
Tugging at the end of her dress, Lois tried to mentally will the outfit to lengthen and cover her knees. While the elf suit wasn't scandalous, it was a bit uncomfortable in the cold weather. Thankfully, the bright striped leggings underneath helped to keep some of the chill away. Finishing off the costume, she placed a little Santa hat on her head. She looked ridiculous. How could she have ever let Clark talk her into this? It was that smile of his... it did stupid things to her and before she knew it she was caught up in it. That was another one for her list:
Resolution #2 - Clark made it clear you are just friends. Stop getting caught up in the farm boy's smile and stop agreeing to do stupid things for him.
Sighing, she sat down on her couch and began flipping through the channels while she waited for Clark. He had promised to pick her up in a few minutes. He was actually coming over much earlier than she had expected him to. At this rate, they would get there a good hour before the event was supposed to start.
Idly, she wondered what Superman was doing. She hadn't seen much of him in the last few weeks, except for the random appearance on TV here and there. Even if crime rates had dropped drastically in the city since he had been here, she knew that he had been busy at many charity events in the city. It was amazing all the time he spent helping others.
Just like Clark was doing today.
Sighing, she shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She adored both men and neither one of them wanted anything to do with her other than be her friend. Why was it that only men with unscrupulous behavior wanted anything to do with her? Why couldn't one of the good guys take notice of her? She thought she had found one of the good guys in Lex Luthor. Sadly, his philanthropist nature had all been a cover up for his darker, more sinister side.
Maybe Santa would leave her something nice under her tree this year.
Oh screw it, Santa couldn't be trusted with this. She would have to take this matter into her own hands.
Resolution #3 - Find a good reliable man who loves you this year.
Glancing down at her watch, she noticed that it was way past time for Clark to arrive. Grinning, she wondered if he was stuck somewhere, dressed in a big red suit and beard. Some little kid had probably waylaid him and was pouring his heart out to him about what he wanted for Christmas.
A knock on the door startled her out of her musings. Laughing, she bounced to the door with a bit of glee at the prospect of having blackmail material, of course then she remembered what she had on. That took a bit of the glee out of her and slowed down her trek a bit. Tugging at the ends of her skirt one last time, she opened the door to find...
A suitless Clark. Clark with no suit. Clark in blue jeans and a black t-shirt.
While Clark in a black t-shirt was a delight to behold, it was not the sight she wanted to see. Besides, wasn't he cold? How could someone wear an outfit like that in the dead of winter?
“You're late and why are you standing there in blue jeans and a t-shirt?”
“I haven't had a chance to change yet. I wanted to talk to you about tonight first.” He ducked his head at this and stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants.
Oh no. He is not going to play the cute, adorable, sexy man in order to distract me and get away with it.He was going to try to play dirty... then so would she.
Pushing past him, she swung her focus from one end of the hallway to the other as if looking for someone else.
“So where is it?”
“Where is what?” The adorable look on his face had changed into one of puzzlement. It was with a bit of pride that she noted that change in expression; she loved confusing him almost as much as she loved showing him that she was always right.
Making sure her annoyance showed in her voice, Lois answered him, “The Santa suit, Clark. You know, the costume you're going to wear tonight that's going to make up for the fact that I am wearing this stupid outfit.”
Clark raked his eyes over her, “I think it's pretty cute on you.”
“You would.” Pushing open her door she rolled her eyes at him and then and motioned for him to step inside her apartment.
* * *
Clark Kent was not having a good day. In fact, most people would have gone home, crawled into bed, pulled the covers over their head, and cried themselves to sleep rather than endure one more minute of the day. Unfortunately for Clark, his role as a superhero didn't allow for such luxuries.
At first, he had thought the influx of calls for help to be a blessing as they hadn't left him time to mope or brood over what he was going to say to Lois tonight. Most of the rescues hadn't been easy though and a few had been emotionally disturbing. Being Superman was never an easy task, but some days it didn't seem worth it. One would think that, with Christmas so close, people would be reaching out to their fellow man to help them, but today it had seemed as if everyone was out to make each other as miserable as possible.
It had put a damper on his mood for the entire day. He had returned home, exhausted emotionally, and forced himself to focus on the night ahead. While standing in the mirror, practicing what he was going to say to Lois, he suddenly realized that the whole plan was a terrible idea. What was he thinking? Had he really thought that showing up at her apartment, changing into Superman, and then dragging her off to a charity function would go over well?
She would kill him. It wouldn't matter if there were small children there to witness it either. Carnage would ensue and then all those poor children would have to face years of therapy. No that was it! He couldn't do that to children who were already sick and hurting.
In the middle of his Lois-like tirade he had heard yet another call for help. It had been a freeway accident and it had taken patience and a great deal of time to get everyone out safely. By the time he had helped clean up the accident, it was well past the time he should have been at Lois' place.
It hadn't taken much effort on his part to understand that tonight was not the right time to tell Lois his secret, no matter how much he wanted to. He should do it on a night where she could kick him out of her apartment and slam the door in his face if she needed to. Besides, even if he had still wanted to tell her tonight, he didn't have the time to do so anymore.
No, he was going to have to lie to her one more time before the truth came out and he wasn't looking forward to it. Now that he had actually decided to trust her, every minute that she didn't know the truth ate away at his conscience. This wasn't about him anymore though, this was about Lois and making everything okay again. If he needed to feel badly a few more days until he could find the right time to do this the right way, he would.
That was why he currently found himself staring at an extremely gorgeous, and extraordinarily mad, elf.
“I cannot believe you Clark! How can you flake on me like this? This was your idea!”
“I know, Lois. But I really haven't been feeling well today and then when Superman offered to take my place... I just thought maybe everyone would be happier with him showing up. Can you imagine how excited those kids will be when he shows up! Plus, I don't think the hospital staff would be happy if I get all those kids sick.”
He watched her face fall a bit during his explanation. He could tell she was disappointed but she was trying not to show it. It was surprising that she was upset over the fact that she was going to have to spend the evening with Superman. A year ago, she would have been dancing around the room at the prospect of an evening with his alter ego.
“I guess. I was actually starting to look forward to working with those kids and the only thing that made me feel confident was the fact that you would be there! I mean you were the one who got me all excited about this. Plus, I was kinda hoping to spend some time with you before you go back to Smallville.”
A small shot of hope ran up Clark's spine and took his breath away before he quickly dismissed it. As a friend. That's all she wanted from him friendship. Not trusting his voice, he cleared his throat before he spoke his next words.
“Lois, we still have a couple of days before I leave to go home. There is plenty of time for us to spend it together. Besides, I thought you would be excited to spend some time with everyone's favorite superhero.”
Lois sat down on the couch and pondered his last statement. He could almost see the wheels turning in her head as if she too wondered if her obsession was waning.
“I still enjoy spending time with Superman, Clark. I was just expecting to spend the night with you. There is a difference between spending your time dressed as an elf with you and spending my time dressed as an elf with Super... Oh God Clark, I'm going to kill you! I have to spend the night dressed like this in front of Superman!”
Lois Lane silently added another resolution to her list.
Resolution #4: Kill Clark Kent.
* * *
Lois was having a lovely evening imaging the different ways that she could dispose of Clark Kent before the year ended. It was her last act of defiance in having to spend the evening handing out toys to children in what was one of the most un-Lois Lane like Christmases she had ever experienced.
Truth be told, she was actually enjoying herself. Smiling to herself, she realized that only Clark would have been able to pull this act of goodwill out of her. Two years ago she would have never found herself in this position unless it involved a big story. It was amazing how meeting one person could have such an effect on your life. How that person could change the way you look at everyone and everything.
It was just to bad that he wasn't there to enjoy it with her. Looking at a sprig of mistletoe hanging above one of the nurses' stations she sighed wistfully. It was a shame he hadn't come with her, she could have tricked him into standing under the mistletoe and gotten him to kiss her. Maybe then she could have figured out if he was telling the truth when he said he just wanted to be friends.
This forced another big sigh out of her that caught the attention of one of the nurses standing nearby. She must have taken Lois' longing sigh for a different sort of sighing as she pointed at the laughing children gathered around Superman.
“He is pretty dreamy isn't he?”
Dreamy? Who used the word dreamy? Trying not to roll her eyes Lois politely responded, “Yeah he's a great guy. Especially to come here at the last minute and fill in for the sick Santa. I think the kids are actually more excited to see him than they would have Clark anyway.”
The nurse cocked her head to the side and observed Lois in puzzlement. “What do you mean? Superman was always scheduled to be here. We never had anyone scheduled to come as Santa. The kids enjoyed Superman so much last year that we decided to ask him back again. He really does mean a lot to these little boys and girls. It gives them hope to know that they are special enough to warrant the attention of a superhero, not to mention how much the Superman Foundation gives to help with their treatment. The man is a saint.” The nurse sighed in a manner that Lois could only describe as dreamily, much to her disgust, and walked away to answer the call of one of the children.
Which was fine because Lois couldn't have spoken a word to her anyway. She was still trying to process the information that was just given to her. Clark Kent wasn't even supposed to have shown up at all tonight. In fact, he hadn't even shown up last year, like he had claimed he had. It didn't make sense. Why would Clark say he was here last year unless he really was?
Bewildered, she looked over at Superman as if he would have the answers she sought. One of the children was whispering something in his ear and whatever she had said had caused Superman to burst out laughing. Not the contained laugh or smile he usually showed to everyone but full blown laugher that lit up his entire face... and suddenly it all fell into place.
Mentally Lois Lane changed her last resolution:
Resolution #4: Kill Clark “Superman” Kent in an extremely painful and horrible fashion.
Originally I intended this to be a two parter. Unfortunately the more I thought about it... the more I actually liked this ending. Plus there was the fact that there was just no way I could fit in the rest of coolgirl's request with out there being angst. So... this is now complete. Maybe next Christmas more will strike!
Coolgirl's reuqests:
Three things I want in my fic:
1. Humor & Romance
2. Holiday mood - maybe Christmas eve but no *mistletoe* induced kisses please! Maybe a game or something played by Planet employees.
3. Newsroom scenario
Preferred season(s): S1/S2
Three things I do not want in my fic:
1. No villains namely Lex, Tempus, Dan?
, Dr. Deter, Nigel etc. etc.
2. No deathfic
3. No wham/ angst
