Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Reviews: Honesty 14/18

Made you look Beth! (Yes, I am still a slow reader!)

Just had to start the thread quickly before I get thrown out of the library. Will read and review it at home.

OOooooo yay!!!!

Yes, CK is much nicer in his jeans and T even at... 50?

Kaylie with powers?!?!

I know she's doing it for all the right reasons and it may even help her investigation but...

I love that they're over their fight and that all the superheros are NIA agents!

Evil NIA guy needs to go. Leave my Supernova alone! [okay okay, Kaylie's Supernova ]

No I didn't recognize the doc from earlier.... no points for me .

More. Now. Need a beta?!?!
Carol

Wow this just gets better and better. More soon. Laura

(Good news, I wasn't evicted - I left quietly and of my own accord.)

So how many points do I get for remembering Brad (or was it Mike)? He's bigamous Lucy’s husbands!

But hang on now, Sven's flaky wife works at STAR labs? She's the coffee girl, right?

And , anyone for superpowers? Me! Me!!

A real blast from the past, so to speak. But will it work? And is she going to go out and play with her new-found ‘toys’? That will be fun, seeing her learning to use her powers.

Or is it all just a cruel hoax?

Next week’s Honesty: Kaylie was dead. There would be no parts 15-18. Beth was tired of writing. The End.

Nah!

This would be a BAD moment to find out that Kaylie is a sleeper agent programmed to steal superpowers for the NIA or Sproxton or something.

/me smells a TE

Now we have Green-K, Red-K and Power-K

Nice twist, bringing the Laser back. Not to mention the NIA recruiting Superman and family. And I'm sure it was totally selfless a motive

Michael

Love it! Don't have time to write more now, but I can't wait to find out what happens next!

JD

Yay, FDK!

Carol:

I think maybe she might also be a little curious to see what it feels like. I know I would.

Thanks, Laura. The story is pretty much all written now, so I will probably start posting a little more frequently as I don't have to worry about hitting a busy spot and falling behind.

gr8shades, you are awarded 100 "Honesty" points in which you get to openly criticize up to five character names I've chosen (each name is worth 20 points). They never expire, so use them wisely.

Well, the original plan was for Kaylie to die at the end of this chapter and for Jon to go to Thea Whatshername for comfort. They of course fall in love, and get married within the month. But now that you went ahead and spoiled it for everyone, I'll have to come up with something different. Geez.

And um, about the inadvertent polygamy in the first chapter... I did originally plan to have the character's name be Mike, but then I remembered that Lois and Lucy already have an Uncle Mike which might cause for some strange conclusions to be drawn. But then I must've missed the second reference to his name when I changed it. Whoops. I think I quietly snuck back and changed the name in my original post, so now I can play dumb about that ever happening...

What bigamy? I don't know what you're talking about.

JD, nice to know you're still reading. Thanks!

Beth, I think the best part of your response to the latest round of feedback was when you stated that you'd be posting more often.

You do realize that you're going to have to do it now that you've said it, don't you? Otherwise:



Need I say more? I thought not.

Evil Agent Marcus said: I have just one thing to say to that - - "The Queen of Hearts".



BJ

First off, Beth - extra thanks are ridiculous. You did all the hard work. I was just the lucky person who got to see how the story was coming sooner than everyone else.

And despite all the questions, I stand by your assessment of Lucy. (Given how I've written her in Ten Years, this probably isn't too surprising).

There is just so much I love about this chapter.

For reasons I don't understand, Ellie, while minor, is one of my favorite characters in this story. I love this image of her.

And I love the image this paints of Brad. The image I get of the current Star Labs with Ellie and Lucy next to this enormous Brad, makes me smile.

/me jumps up and down clapping hands like a little child

/me can see it now: Honesty II: Ellie's Story

/me runs and hides

lmao… That is so not happening… It isn’t, right Beth?

That is right, I’ve always thought Lucy would mature with time, because she was supposed to be 18 years in the beginning of Lois & Clark, or twenty something. I like Lucy’s character so much I don’t know why they didn’t use much of her.

Yeah, I’d read that! There should be more women heroes. In my head Ellie looks like Claire Bennet.

I’m not sure I like this part so much, there’s not enough of Kaylie & Jon. And Lois was there, but so distant. I like the part where she and Kaylie meet better. But I am anxious for next part. You can’t possibly think that you can get away with leaving me hanging at that moment?! I wanna know what happens NOW!!!

Terry, if you look close, you'll see that my exact words were that I'd probably start posting a little more frequently. I would say there's plenty of wiggle room in there.

And my first wildguy attack ever! Being chased by crazy spear-carrying graemlins was more exciting than I thought.

BJ, I'm not entirely sure I get your reference. Maybe I need to brush up on my Alice in Wonderland trivia...

This is probably because I really like Ellie too, which would show through in my writing. There are several things about her that I really identify with.

Um... I may or may not already have a partialy outlined idea for a story that might closely resemble something that could been regarded as a sequel to this story, using Jon and Kaylie as protagonists again. It is also just as probable that I have an idea of a story with Ellie as the protagonist that would take place after the previously mentioned sequel possibility.

Maybe.

Yeah, I knew that some people wouldn't be too keen on this part cause of all the A plot stuff that doesn't really add too much to Jon and Kaylie's relationship. But I did have to get some things worked out as far as the A plot goes, and I do promise you that there will be more Jon and Kaylie one on one time in the near future.

I could see that. The hair for sure!

Beth, you claimed:

I don't understand how you can say that. Kaylie is about to make a great sacrifice for Jon. She'd demonstrating that she's willing to put her life on the line for him.

I know, you're thinking, "She's going to have super-powers! Where's the sacrifice?" But with those powers comes hearing people in trouble, seeing dangerous situations, knowing that she can help people and save lives and also knowing that she's not going to be able to do any of it! Ellie and Clark (and especially Jon) are going to try to make her sit in one place the whole time. She doesn't have the fine control she'd need to help effectively, so they're not going to want her to be out in public. Not to mention the fact that they don't want to have to explain having another super-powered woman flying around. (Ultra Woman redux, maybe?) And the psychological role reversal between Kaylie and Jon will have an impact on their relationship, one which we might not be able to predict.

Of course, those powers will come in handy when she confronts Sproxton. Boy will he be surprised!

I vote "YES" for the Ellie story! I think you could do so much with her, especially if she really gets to be friends with Kaylie.

Beth said... Erm, sorry about that. My reference to the Queen of Hearts was a feeble attempt at wit. When Marcus mentioned that Kaylie could be a 'sleeper agent programmed' to do some horrific thing, I immediately thought of the Manchurian Candidate (the 1962 film version with Frank Sinatra, Angela Lansbury, etc.). The mental program trigger phrase was to play a game of solitaire. The character went into a trance when he saw the Queen of Hearts. (although in the play, I think it was the Queen of Diamonds).

Beyond that, I'm really enjoying your story and can't wait to find out what happens next. It was fun and interesting seeing the whole family together and at ease with the doctor and Kaylie knowing who they all are.

BJ

Terry, I totally agree with what you said. What I was referring to in my comment was the long string of dialogue in which the characters uncover the meaning of project Titan. The whole Ultra-Kaylie thing doesn't happen until the very end, and so I was commenting that those not interested in A plot may not like the first 75% or so. But I'm glad that you do!

BJ, I've never seen the Manchurian Candidate, so that would explain why I didn't get the reference.

I've read the story part and I've been reading the comments thread, and it's suddenly occurred to me that I haven't actually commented yet

Yes, lots of A-plot, but it's very logical (and the idea that someone can track super-people by using their auras is way creepy. In a good way.)

I hope to see some introspection from Jon and/or Kaylie in the next part -- there's all sorts of interesting issues to explore.

As always, eagerly awaiting the next post of Honesty...

PJ
who would recommend the Manchurian Candidate -- the good one, not the remake