(Um, hi. I was told to put this here?)
Description: A retelling of how Lois and Clark met, with an interesting twist...
Guys, Gals, & Guns
By Mary Potts <SongBirdMary@Juno.com>
Rated: PG
Submitted: July 2003
~~~ Guys, Gals, & Guns ~~~
Perry pulled his watch out of the pocket of his waist-coat and inspected it. The minute hand was stuck on six, and the hour hand had yet to move from three.
"Great shades of Franklin, the darn thing's stopped again!"
He held it up to his ear just to be sure. Yes, it had definitely stopped. Perry grunted and put the watch back in his pocket.
"I told you to make sure it was wound up!" the woman next to him chided. "Alice says you always forget to wind that thing!"
"It must've wound down during the night. I'll just see about fixing it on the train." He scanned the track from where he stood on the station platform. "If the train ever comes, that is."
"It'll come, just you be patient. Land sakes! How does my sister put up with you?"
Perry chuckled. "Your guess is as good as mine. Sorry again that she couldn't come."
"Oh, hush now! It's all right! You just make sure that leg of hers gets healed."
"I'd have stayed with her, but Alice said she'd have my hide if I didn't come and see your wedding. I just know when I get home she'll be all over me for details."
The woman laughed, but her laughter was soon drowned out by the rattle of wheels and the puffing of a powerful steam-engine as Perry's train approached. The brakes squealed as the train slowed to a halt in front of the station.
"Well, I guess I better be going."
"Tell Alice I miss her!"
"Will do!"
"And make sure she writes to me, hear?"
"All right." Perry chuckled. He hugged his sister-in-law one last time before reaching down for his luggage. Once his things were properly stowed on the train, he boarded the ramp to the passenger car. The conductor was still hollering the train's destination.
"Repeat: all aboard for Smallville, Harperville, and Kansas City! Smallville, Harperville, and Kansas City!"
******
The train was already crowded when Perry boarded. He found a seat next to a well-dressed, bespectacled young man. The younger man was staring intently out the window with the curiosity of a small child, enthralled by his surroundings. So engrossed was he, that it took a moment for his brain to register Perry's presence.
"Oh, I'm sorry; did you want the window seat?"
Perry chuckled. "That's all right, son; I've seen this landscape a hundred times before." He made himself comfortable, then took out his watch. "Say, have you got the right time?"
"Hunh? Oh, sure!" The younger man retrieved his own watch from his jacket pocket and studied it. "It's exactly nine twenty-five." he announced, then pocketed the watch once more.
"Thanks, much obliged," Perry answered as he wound and set his watch to the proper time.
"So, do you live out west?" the younger man asked.
"Yep," Perry answered. "Smallville, Kansas. I own a ranch out there." He looked at his travelling companion. "Where do you hail from?"
"Metropolis, originally," the young man replied. "I've done some travelling over the past few years, though. Now, I'm going west."
"So, are you out looking for gold?"
"No, sir. I guess I'm just an adventurer. I'm thinking of settling down somewhere."
Perry nodded. "Well, I think you'd like Smallville." Suddenly, a thought struck him. "If you don't mind my asking, I take it you got nowhere to stay?"
"No, not really. I guess I figured I'd just find a place."
"And I suppose it follows that you haven't got a job waitin' for you."
The younger man shook his head. He didn't have a job waiting.
Perry regarded the man carefully. "Can you ride a horse?"
The young man raised an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"
"I need another hand for my ranch," Perry said. "You seem to be pretty strong and able-bodied. You can have the job, if you want it. It's a lot of work, but you'll get a decent pay, a place to sleep, and three square meals a day."
The younger man grinned. "I'll take it!"
"Excellent!" The two clasped hands in a hearty handshake. "My name's Perry White, by the way."
"Clark Kent," the man responded.
******
For the rest of the ride, the two men talked and joked together. Clark learned a lot about Smallville, the Star Ranch, and Mr. White's other two hired hands named Olsen and Lane. This 'Lane' person sounded like a very interesting character, and Clark looked forward to meeting him.
By the time the train reached its destination, the two had become fast friends. They walked down the ramp together and went to retrieve their things. Perry grunted under the weight of his belongings. He saw Clark reaching down to pick up a very large trunk. 'That thing must weigh a ton even empty!' Perry thought. Much to his surprise, Clark lifted it with incredible ease!
The trip to the ranch was more quiet than the train ride, but it was also much shorter. Clark was elated when he saw the sign for the Star Ranch. Perry opened the gate and led him to the main house. Clark could hear horse hooves off in the distance. Next thing he knew, Perry had opened the door and was ushering him inside.
Perry set his things down once inside the door. "Alice!" he called.
"Perry? Is that you?" Alice managed to hobble into the living room, leaning heavily on the crutches for support. "Oh, Perry! You're back!" She looked at Clark. "Who's this?"
"I hired a new ranch-hand on the way back here. Alice, this is Clark Kent. Clark, my wife, Alice."
"How do you do." Clark smiled, and kissed her hand.
Alice blushed. "My, isn't he a gentleman!"
"And a handsome one, at that!" another voice chimed in.
Clark looked up and saw a young lady standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Her skirt swished around her legs as she sauntered up to him. "Care to introduce us, Mr. White?" The coyness in her voice belied the intrusiveness of her gaze as her eyes roamed up and down Clark's body.
Perry sighed. "Clark Kent, Catherine Grant."
Catherine looked at him from under her thick, dark lashes. "Enchanted to meet you, Mr. Kent."
"Er, charmed I'm sure," Clark managed. Catherine giggled, which caused a lump to form in Clark's throat.
"Catherine, leave him alone. The boy just got here!" Perry scolded. Catherine reluctantly backed away from Clark. "Have you started supper, yet?"
"Supper's almost ready, Mr. White," Catherine replied. "I just need to check on the stew."
"Good. You do that."
Catherine obediently glided back into the kitchen, pausing to wink at Clark. Clark felt his face flush. "You pay her no mind," Perry told Clark. "She makes eyes at every man she sees. Now, let me show you where you'll be staying."
Perry led Clark out the back door, to a smaller house not too far from the main one. Once inside, Perry pointed to a door. "This is the room you'll be staying in." He opened the door, and Clark peered inside.
The room was modestly furnished. It had a bed, a dresser, a chair, and a small table on which sat a kerosene lamp. Clark was glad to note that there was a full bottle of kerosene next to the dresser, since he loved to read and had brought many books with him. The wooden floor had no carpet, unlike the floor of the main house, and there were no curtains on the only window, but Clark did not mind these minor details. He set his trunk down next to the bed.
He heard a bell ring. "Supper already?" he asked Mr. White.
"That's only the five minute warning," Perry said. "But come on into the kitchen; you can meet the other hands."
******
A young man was already sitting at the table when they arrived.
"Clark, this is Jim Olsen; first at the table, last at the stable. Olsen, this is -- "
"You must be Clark Kent! I heard you're the new hand. It's nice to meet you!" Clark and Jim shook hands.
"I forgot to tell you," Perry said. "Catherine is a bit of a gossip." He looked around. "Where's Lane?"
Perry didn't need to wonder long. Just at that moment, the door swung open and Lane swaggered into the room. Clark's jaw dropped. He stared at the dark-haired, barrel-legged figure clad in filthy jeans, an old shirt, and boots with sharp spurs on the heels. Lane stood, arms folded, in front of Clark and looked him square in the eye.
"What's the matter, chump? Never seen a girl before?"
Clark wisely chose not to reply.
"Is that what you are? I wondered about the lumps on your chest."
Correction: Clark foolishly chose to reply.
"Now listen here, you big fancy-pants sissy-boy..."
"LOIS! CLARK! Back off, both of you!" Perry hollered. Lane and Kent backed away from each other, still fuming. "Now, I believe you two have gotten started on the wrong foot. Let's start over, shall we?" Neither objected. "All right then. Clark, this is Lois Lane; one of the greatest horse-trainers the world has ever known. Lois, this here is Clark Kent; he's the new hand I hired -- "
"You sayin' Jim and I ain't good enough?"
"Lois, for cryin' out loud! You know how short-handed we are! We need all the help we can get! Now Clark, here, comes all the way from Metropolis -- "
That lit the fuse. "A city boy? You hired some sissified city boy?"
"At least I'm not a cross-dresser," Clark snapped.
Lois started to lunge at Clark, and Perry had to physically step between them. This first meeting did not bode well, but what could he do? He needed the help! He had to find a way to either keep them apart, or make them get along. In the meantime, it was time to eat.
"Lois, you go wash up for supper. Then when you come back, we'll say grace."
Lois glared once more at Clark before stomping off. She headed out to the wash-pump while Catherine saw to it that everyone else was seated and served. Perry heaved a sigh. This was going to be a long day...
