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#51156 04/11/08 12:52 AM
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carolm Offline OP
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Oh no!!! I was afraid of that happening at some point!!!

This was a great chapter. I loved Lois and Kaylie getting mostly out of the jam themselves but I loved Superman and Supernova being there too.

So Jon's first exposure to Kryptonite. And Ellie's was in a lab - that figures. At least he was finally able to start moving on.

I know you've told us about Jon's apartment before and I don't really remember what you've said but I always think of Clinton St. when I picture it.

So does he just not remember up to a certain time before he met a certain intrepid sometimes NIA agent? Or has he forgotten other things too - like the fact he's a superhero?

Chapter 9 whenever you're ready!
Carol

#51157 04/11/08 05:45 AM
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I’m the second person to give you feedback this time!!! smile1

Quote
“I’ve had a lot of practice doing it,” she told me. “That always seems to be the first thing anyone does to me whenever I get kidnapped.”
I wonder why…

Quote
“Umm… Look, this may be a little awkward for you…” he began hesitantly. “But… are you sure that you’ve got the right place?”
I’ll confess it took me a while to understand what was happening, I thought that she was the one who got her memories stolen and had ended up in the wrong apartment. I thought that maybe the memories took a little while to leave her brain.

But in the end I finally understood that it was actually Jon who had lost his memory of Kaylie.

But I think I already can picture the outcome of this. Jon will forget about Kaylie and others memories to the point of when he was in a relationship with Amanda (was that her name?) and she will be willing to take him back because seeing him around his fiancé has brought her memories.

And that’s when the twist of the story happens, Fidelity. Please, someone tells me I’m wrong.

Or, what if this is some kind of evil plot? I’m mean, you introduced us in the beginning of the story to Gertrude and an older woman, didn’t you? And we know now that Gertrude is in jail, but the older woman could be Amanda, couldn’t she? She could be only 2 years older than Gertrude.

And Amanda has wiped all the memories of Kaylie from the Kent’s family. And when Ellie gets there she won’t know who Kaylie is either. And neither will Lois, nor Clark. Boy, I sound crazy, don’t listen to me. I’ll come back for you if you do this to Kaylie!!!

.
.
.

Another cliffhanger, this is not fair to us! I think I may have to bring those guys with pointy things!

wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy wildguy

#51158 04/11/08 05:58 AM
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I wasn't too unexpected as in I would never have thought of this happening. But I sort of started to wonder as soon as he left. And I get the distinct impression dedecasale might be onto something. Both with Amanda and with the pointy things.

And you came out and put the honeymoon feeling into the story smile

Michael


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#51159 04/11/08 03:20 PM
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Thanks for the comments guys!

Carol, I'm too lazy to go back into Honesty to find out exactly how I described Jon's apartment, but as far as I remember, it has hardwood floors, with some floor rugs tossed down. Open floor plan, but doors leading off to bedroom, bathroom, and a coat closet. Lots of potted plants, all relatively healthy, so I guess we can assume that a certain trait of Lois' wasn't passed down. But I do see it as having a similar mood to Clark's. It's very much a bachelor place, but Ellie did do a lot of the decorating, and when she does something she does it right.

dede, I'm sorry you got a little confused with the end of the chapter, but glad to know you got it straightened out in the end.

And as far as Fidelity goes... Well, I did mention near the start that it a more unconventional type of fidelity. So far, we've seen lots of examples of fidelity, or lack of it. The NIA failed to show Jay fidelity when they fired him after his memories were messed with. In the flashbacks, Jon is torn between "fidelity" towards the people of Metropolis (as Supernova), towards his grandfather's memory (and his duty to his family), and towards himself. And Kaylie struggles with conflicting loyalties between Jon and the NIA. Is her first duty towards the NIA, towards Jon, or towards her brother and her father? Well, it should be towards Jon now that they're engaged, but Kaylie can't just turn her back on Jay when he needs some help, and that means being involved in the NIA... So anyway, the point is that she's torn. And now that Jon's forgotten Kaylie, that'll let us see more fidelity in action.

Is the title Fidelity perhaps misleading? I had also thought about using "Loyalty" as a title, but Fidelity just sounded better as a word. However, it does have a certain connotation, and that could lead to the intended meaning being lost.

And as for Amanda... I'm not saying a word. smile

Michael:

Quote
I sort of started to wonder as soon as he left
Yeah, it's never a good sign when something like that happens, is it?

Thanks again for leaving comments. I'm glad to know I got you interested.

#51160 04/11/08 04:38 PM
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Hey, hey you! You left me hanging at the end of a very evil rope!

Great part. wink
JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#51161 04/12/08 06:15 AM
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"I hate it when this happens." You want to know how funny that was? I told my husband about it, and he laughed. :-)

I can't wait to see what happens with Jon!

#51162 04/12/08 07:31 AM
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Poor Lois, getting Clark's standard post-kidnapping lecture. You'd think she'd have some kind of subcutaneous hyper-sonic transmitter she could activate in such cases, making it easier for him to find her. Oh, wait, that would bring on the lecture that much more quickly. Of course, it would also bring on the "expression of love in a suitable fashion" quicker, too.

Jon's going to be devastated when he finally understands what he's lost. And Kaylie is going to be so motivated to figure out who's got the memory eraser that she's liable to co-opt Ellie into breaking the Blonde Bombshell out of prison so they can interrogate her. (I'm still not convinced that the bad doctor is really dead.) And since her big brother's head is the one that's been messed with, Kaylie just might have to hold Ellie back from really hurting someone. I know I'd hate to see my younger sister being really mad at someone who'd hurt me, because that relationship goes both ways. Ellie's going to be really - put out.

And Kaylie already feels bereft. The man she loves no longer knows her. I can't imagine how I'd feel in a situation such as that. It would be worse than death, worse than a broken relationship, because her heart has been stolen from her and she has no idea how to get it back. I think Jay is going to play a much larger role in this story than he has up to now.

And yes, I liked the Kaylie-Lois interaction at the beginning, too. But I really wonder why it was so easy for them to get away. Were they under observation at the time? Were Lois and Kaylie lucky catches for baiting Superman and Supernova? If so, has Clark lost some of his memories also?

Sheesh. This is getting tense. Tells us more, tells us more now! says Gollum. My precious, my precious story!


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#51163 04/12/08 01:27 PM
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Thanks Jen, Amy, and Terry!

You do a great Gollum impression, Terry. Perhaps you could work him into Further On Down The Road. wink

#51164 04/15/08 11:15 AM
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I'm so sorry I forgot to leave you feedback, Beth. I could see the memory loss coming a while back, but I was still screaming 'no!' at my computer screen when I read it.

You can post the next bit now. wink

#51165 04/15/08 02:30 PM
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Thanks Alisha! Glad to know you're still reading. I've acutally gotten a fair bit of writing done this week so I'll probably post the next part either tonight or tomorrow.

#51166 04/15/08 02:34 PM
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carolm Offline OP
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/me jumps up and down

Tonight tonight tonight!!!
Carol [who typed the word fidelity several times recently for something and thought of Beth and Jon and Kaylie each time wink ]


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