Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: A Triangle With Three Sides (3/?)

The parts where you differ from the Pilot were great. I also liked the way you fleshed out what the characters were thinking and feeling. However, I was disappointed that you didn't stray from the original plot often. You've shown from your creativity that you're a better writer than that. You can write your own dialogue and follow plot bunnies that weren't in the original story even if the overall plot doesn't differ significantly from the Pilot.

For example, you delved into the thought that Clark was steadfastly trying to impress Lois. What you wrote was great, but it would have given you the perfect opportunity to invent your own plot point where either Clark tries to impress her and it falls flat or Clark tries to impress her and scores big points.

The best part was the conversation Lois had with Clark where she was pushing him to tell her why he moved so often.

All in all, this is still great stuff. Keep writing. I, for one, never miss a part.


Elisabeth

I just wanted to tell you again that I liked this chapter, especially as Clark reflects on why he has had to move so many times.

Having the privilege of knowing where you're taking this, I know why you've decided to stick so close to the script. Things will get pretty different soon enough!

That's our Lois.

And since Beth so kindly pointed out this is going to go somewhere decidedly different: more please?

Michael

I'm sorry I took forever and a day to respond. I have actually had internet access, but since I arrived in China on Sunday, random websites won't load - this being one of them. For some reason (while I'm still in China), it is loading now.

So, despite the length of time it took for me to respond, I really appreciate all of the feedback.

As Beth pointed out, I am actually going some where with this. If I don't randomly get kicked off, I'm even planning on posting the next part within a couple of hours and you'll be able to see where that is.

For now, I'll say that for me this is something of an academic pursuit (using the term academic fairly loosely). I had this idea for a change to the orginal LnC story and I'm curious how much I have to change to make that work. As I get further and further along, it gets to be more and more, but right now, it's very little. Please be patient - and of course let me know if it is starting to be too repetitious of what we saw on the show to be interesting.

Thanks again for all the comments! I really appreciate them!