Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#51274 04/15/08 03:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
C
carolm Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
C
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
I will probably reread this tomorrow as I'm not entirely certain I caught everything.

Poor Jon and Kaylie both. He knows he loves her. He's drawn to her like Clark was to Lois after Nightfall.

Maybe I missed it, but why would it have been awkward for him to ask Lois if Kaylie knew he was Supernova? Or did he just forget? I forgot already wink . I guess they don't need that machine to make me forget stuff - but I've dealt with a baby and other stuff since I actually read it wink .

Poor Kaylie [and Jon] when she tried to describe their... physical relationship. And he wasn't even talking about that!!

And why is Jay in the closet? Did she really think she could hide something like that from Jon?!?! He's got superpowers remember Ellie?!?! Is there something more with Ellie and Jay? That could be weird.

I am glad that Jay didn't go back to a point where he thought he was still with Amanda. Why seven months? Is there some significance to that?

Okay - you can post 10 tomorrow if you want wink .

Carol

#51275 04/15/08 04:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
BJ Offline
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Oh, I feel so bad for Jon and Kaylie, but I have to say that their conversation about ... *that* was funny. Sex was on Kaylie's mind, so when Jon hinted about something, she immediately thought it was their physical relationship.


Quote
“So, why was Jay hiding in your hall closet?” Jon asked, still confused.

“We were… trying a new technique,” Ellie rushed to say.

“-for the memory thing,” Jay added.

“Yeah, the memory thing.”

“In the closet?” Jon asked disbelievingly.

A beat of silence.

“We needed a dark space,” Jay provided.

“Yeah,” Ellie chimed in. “And the sun just kept streaming in through the blinds so he had to go in the closet.”
Bwahahaha! rotflol I was wondering if Jay and Ellie would get together, but this whole scene is hilarious.

More soon, please.
BJ

#51276 04/16/08 05:16 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011
Likes: 5
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,011
Likes: 5
thumbsup


When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
#51277 04/16/08 05:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Online Content
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Quote
As I stood in the doorway, I became painfully aware of the fact that I hadn’t showered yet today.
Hm, does that mean that she is still wearing traces of Jon's scent from the time they had spent together. Shouldn't that alone have been enough to give the state of their relationship away to him?

Quote
“Ellie, there’s someone hiding in you closet.”

Ellie instantly turned beet red. “Oh, yeah. That’s… that’s Jay.”
I knew it laugh

Quote
“Kaylie’s brother?”

“Yeah. You know how he got the whole memory treatment thing too, right? Well, we’re trying to find a way to hack into his subconscious and find any clues. You might as well come out, Jay,” she raised her voice so he could hear. “Jon knows you’re here.” The door to the closet slid open and the same man that Jon remembered meeting earlier in the day stepped out, looking a little sheepish at being found out.

“So, why was Jay hiding in your hall closet?” Jon asked, still confused.

“We were… trying a new technique,” Ellie rushed to say.

“-for the memory thing,” Jay added.

“Yeah, the memory thing.”

“In the closet?” Jon asked disbelievingly.
Hm, I think I know which technique she was using. It involves the exchange of bodily fluids and lots of touching. Right? I am right? Right? Come on, Beth, you may post part 10 any time now. wink

Oh, and on a serious note: Now that you are posting on Wednesdays and Sundays, you will have to keep to that schedule to make fans extra prima happy instead of just happy wink (P.S. this just extrapolates from Tank's fic-posting request)

Michael, who is very glad his gfic-tale had already been on a Sunday-posting schedule laugh


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
#51278 04/16/08 05:47 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Thanks guys for the feedback!

Carol:

Quote
Maybe I missed it, but why would it have been awkward for him to ask Lois if Kaylie knew he was Supernova?
To clarify, it would've been awkward for Jon to ask Kaylie if she knew he was Supernova. Because if she didn't know, then she would end up finding out when he asked to question. He forgot to ask Lois about it earlier. He was kind of overloaded with everything she was saying so he wasn't thinking about it.

Quote
And why is Jay in the closet? Did she really think she could hide something like that from Jon?!?! He's got superpowers remember Ellie?!?!
I think she was betting on him being too distracted to notice. And it did work up to a point. laugh As for why he's in the closet... Well, I'll let you puzzle that out for yourself.

Quote
Why seven months? Is there some significance to that?
Yes. wink

BJ, I'm glad you liked this part. I wanted to make Jon and Kaylie's conversation as awkward as possible, and what could be more awkward than talking about the sex you have had with you amnesiac partner? Especially when that's not even what he wanted to know. goofy

gr8shades thanks for leaving me feedback even if you're not in the mood for it.

Quote
I said it before, but I love when you write the personal stuff.
Thank you! blush The next part is more personal stuff as well.

Michael:

Quote
Hm, I think I know which technique she was using. It involves the exchange of bodily fluids and lots of touching. Right? I am right? Right?
Well, the fun part about Ellie and Jay is that everything's kind of happening in the background. Which leaves it open to whatever interpretation you choose. That is, until we get more information. wink

As far as the posting schedule goes, I'll have to play it by ear. Although the majority of my finals are over, I still have a couple to write and I should probably study for them. grumble We'll see how it goes.

#51279 04/16/08 06:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Okay two huge laughs in this chapter over the sex conversation and Jay's appearance (more sex possibly?). I feel bad for Kaylie that her fiance doesn't even recognize her, but had the hugest snicker when Clark said, yeah been there, done that.

Great
JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#51280 04/16/08 11:49 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 78
Freelance Reporter
Offline
Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 78
Quote
“Oh.” Duh. Of course. Why would he ask his *mom* whether or not we had had sex?
notworthy Well, maybe he has an open relationship with his mother, who knows? Or Jon can always use the “Christmas three lights” analogy!

Quote
He always made a point of always coming to the front entrance and ringing her doorbell in the vain hope that she would some day return the courtesy. That day had yet to come.

It took her a bit longer than normal to answer the door, and by the time she finally did, Jon had worked himself up into a nervous frenzy.
When I read this I was like, I can bet that Jay was there. :rolleyes: And…

Quote
He was able to really take in his surroundings, and that’s when he realized something disturbing. “Ellie, there’s someone hiding in you closet.”
I knew it… haha… Busted! rotflol

Quote
“We needed a dark space,” Jay provided.

“Yeah,” Ellie chimed in. “And the sun just kept streaming in through the blinds so he had to go in the closet.”
I think lame excuses run in the family, don’t you?! I think they needed a dark space for something else. devil Oh, Ellie and Jay are so busted!!!

This was a refreshing part. Very different than what I was used to. Which is a nice thing. Come on, where’s next part? I wanna know what happens in their date. grovel

#51281 04/17/08 01:54 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Thanks Jen and dede!

Quote
had the hugest snicker when Clark said, yeah been there, done that
Yeah, I had to make sure that little reference was in there. Did you also notice that it was Lois who insisted that Jon be told he had a fiance? Some of my own person feelings coming out there. If they had told Lois from the beginning that she was engaged to Clark, maybe the whole "I'm in love with Deter" thing could've been avoided. Yeesh.

Quote
Or Jon can always use the “Christmas three lights” analogy!
I can totally imagine that conversation!

JON: So, I was wondering... had we... plugged in the Christmas tree lights yet?

KAYLIE: Jon, what are you talking about? It's summertime.

#51282 04/17/08 01:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
C
carolm Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
C
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Oh Beth!!! That would be TOOOO funny!

I hadn't noticed that Lois was the one to insist on it - but that's a very good point. I did catch what Clark said.

I reread it again yesterday [?, I think, it may have been today - I'm tired...] and did catch the comment about forgetting to ask his mom rather than being uncomfortable asking his mom.

So when is part 10 coming? *whistles innocently*
Carol

#51283 04/17/08 03:02 PM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441
Likes: 1
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441
Likes: 1
Super cool! I reread the other parts after re-reading Honesty again on the archive...sorry for not posting fdk regularly... but am immensely enjoying this fic... thumbsup thumbsup dance


If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.

Waking a Miracle by Aria
#51284 04/17/08 03:59 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Thanks AnKS! Glad to know that you're enjoying it. And that you reread Honesty. laugh

Quote
So when is part 10 coming? *whistles innocently*
Jeez, you never give up, do you Carol? wink Soon, hopefully, but part 11 needs some work still and the last thing I want to do is leave you guys hanging for too long without any new parts. Better to spread it out a bit, I think.

#51285 04/17/08 04:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Quote
If they had told Lois from the beginning that she was engaged to Clark, maybe the whole "I'm in love with Deter" thing could've been avoided. Yeesh.
Amen!

Yeah, I had a small giggle when Lois was insistent about that. Anyway, I love seeing the not-remembering-the-fiance plot being used in a non-insane way!

JD


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#51286 04/18/08 01:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
C
carolm Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
C
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Quote
Originally posted by Beth S.:


Quote
So when is part 10 coming? *whistles innocently*
Jeez, you never give up, do you Carol? wink
Nope wink .

Carol

#51287 04/18/08 10:05 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 367
A
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
A
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 367
Quote
Originally posted by Beth S.:

Quote
So when is part 10 coming? *whistles innocently*
Jeez, you never give up, do you Carol? wink
No, she certainly doesn't :rolleyes: . Make sure she doesn't get your e-mail address wink . /me gets back to giving feedback...

I loved the 'Jay in the closet' part. I think Ellie inherited Clark's creativity when it comes to making excuses!

#51288 04/18/08 10:20 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
C
carolm Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
C
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764
Hey! You sent me like 2 pages and said there was more - of course I was going to ask where it was!

Er, Beth - still loving this wink . Did I mention I had a dream with Jon and Kaylie in it not too long ago? [This is opposed to my 4yo daughter who told me she dreamed about Jesus, God, and Jesus' mommy and 10 angels who ate dinner on the mountains...]

Carol

#51289 04/20/08 10:25 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Columnist
Offline
Columnist
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 700
Thanks for commenting Alisha!

Carol, I remember you telling me about that dream. The one with K&J, not the one your daughter had. wink Even though her's sounds really cute! Anyway, I remember feeling triumphant that my characters had managed to worm their way into your subconscious. laugh


Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5