Here's two more Martha letters. These complete the ones that Clark has read by this point in the story [except for the one about the message from Jor-El]. However, he hasn't read all of them, in the order Martha anticipated hence the numbering. FDK can go with Part 14 of LtL if anyone desires
.
Carol
10. Engagement
Clark –
Engaged!!! We are so happy for you, son.
It's hard to believe that I'm sitting here writing this to you about you getting married. Just 10 minutes ago, you ran through here proclaiming that all girls had cooties and that you were never going to talk to another girl again. I’m not sure what happened, and you probably don't remember either, but sometime recently, you asked a lovely young woman to share your life with you.
How do I know she's lovely? Because I know you and I'm sure she is. She may not be model material – in fact, she's probably not, most women aren't – but she has a lovely spirit because that's what you have, son, and that's what you'll find in your mate.
Have you told her about your heritage? I hope so. She should know about your history before agreeing to share her life with you. If you haven't told her, go. Tell her now.
Now, you don't want to go overboard on the wedding. There's nothing wrong with a big wedding or whatever, but remember that there are more important things than a big wedding. Don't sacrifice your futures for a wedding.
So what comes after the wedding? No – I don't mean *that*. I've talked enough about that with you. At least for the moment.
After the wedding comes marriage. Is this woman your best friend? Can you share anything with her? Do you trust her implicitly? Can she trust you? I’m sure you wouldn't have considered asking her to spend her life with you if you could say no to those questions.
Don't get so wrapped up in planning the wedding that you don't take time for the two of you and continue to build the foundation that your marriage will be founded on.
Does her family approve of you? I hope so. My dad didn't approve of yours for a while but eventually he realized how much your dad loved me. Did you ask her father for her hand in marriage before you proposed? Have you told her family about you? That may or may not be wise – but you'll know if you should.
Have you graduated from college? Has she? Or have the two of you been anxiously waiting for the day when you're both 18 and fresh out of high school. Part of me hopes not, but I also know that those marriages can work, but they take work – lots of hard work, even more so than most marriages.
I'm going to tell you something your Grandfather Kent told your dad. Don't spend time alone with a woman who isn't your wife. Does that mean you can't have a business lunch with a female? It may not be the wisest idea, but sometimes it's necessary. I mean alone – in your apartment or home or hers or an office or a hotel room on a business trip. Even if it seems like there's no other way and it truly is innocent – even the appearance of infidelity can ruin a marriage. I've seen it happen to marriages I would have sworn were strong enough to withstand something like that and when the situation was, in fact, completely innocent. But by then the damage had been done. If you have to spend time one on one with a woman who isn't your wife, make sure you stay in public, just to be on the safe side. There are opportunistic women [and men] out there who will make things out to be more than they are. I'd strongly encourage you to take that to heart and to start practice that now, even before you're actually married. The same, of course, applies to your intended as well, but in reverse – and you are welcome to share any of these letters with her that you choose to. You probably already have if you've made it this far in your relationship.
Now... back to *that* for a minute. I'll admit that part of me would be a bit disappointed if you hadn't waited at least until now to physically express your love for this woman, but that goes back to just being a bit worried about your differences and potential children, because as I said several years ago [I hope it was several years ago], no birth control is 100% effective and because of your heritage I think it would be a good idea for you to wait this long. But as I'm not there, I don't know the circumstances and you could have been dating this woman for several years now and, for whatever reason, the two of you weren't ready for marriage – a long distance relationship maybe or whatever else.
Your dad and I love you, son, and now I truly believe that if you've made it this far in a relationship, we'd love your bride-to-be as well.
I do wonder what she looks like, what her name is, what her engagement ring looks like. Did you shop for it together? Did you give her mine? I would be honored if you had, you know, but at the same time, I would understand completely if you or she or both wanted something new. My rings and your dad's wedding band should have been left for you – if you didn't know that, you might want to find out what happened to them just so you know, even if you don't use them.
By now, my standard admonitions should not apply, so they'll have change. Guard your hearts. Learn to love each other. Guard your love from outside forces that might seek to destroy you.
We've loved you since the beginning, son – and now our soon-to-be daughter – and we'll love you till the end.
Love,
Mom
~~~~~
 
11. Wedding
Dear Clark,
The big day is here!!! How long have you been waiting? Has it been a long engagement? If you've been waiting for this, I sure hope not! And even if you haven't been, long engagements can be overrated! I probably should have said something about that in the engagement letter, but it's finished and in the envelope already.
Is it the day before the wedding? Or the week of? Or is it the morning of your wedding day? Is this the day that you will marry your best friend? I hope she is, son. Or did you wait until after the wedding to read this? Are you already a married man? I have this image of you, so handsome in your tuxedo [are you even wearing a tuxedo?], sitting in a chair, sunlight streaming in a window – either before the wedding or... no, it's after. Your collar is loosened and your tie is hanging free. There's a beautiful woman whose face I can't quite see coming to stand behind you. She's in a beautiful white dress and she's either wrapping her arms around you as you read this or maybe you've pulled her into your lap, with your arm around her and her arms around you and she reads these words of your old mom with you. I can see a wedding ring on your finger and it looks right. I think she's a brunette, but I can't be sure, of course, and I wouldn't love her any less if she's not. It fills my heart to think of you and her like that.
Of course, I could be way off base. It's entirely possible and the two of you have decided to run off to Vegas to get married or it's a very simple wedding with you in a nice suit or whatever. But that's how I see this. That's what I want for you – it's what I had with your dad – without the letter from my long deceased mother, of course. That doesn't mean that you're any less married if things were different. And that's the important part, of course. Whether you get married in a judge's chambers, the house of a friend, or the biggest cathedral in the country – you're marrying your best friend and that's the most important thing.
You know, even more than the physical relationship that I've talked to you about so many times through these letters, is the emotional connection. My favorite thing about being married to your father is at night, when we go to bed – and we almost always go to bed at the same time – he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him. I feel so safe and so loved; like he would move heaven and earth to keep me safe – and I know he would. He's often told me that his favorite thing in the whole world is falling asleep in each other's arms. Even more than being intimate with each other. Especially if the two of you have waited for this night, it may be a while before you realize that, but I think you'll find it to be true. Of course, that's not to say that intimacy isn't good too... but you probably don't want me to go on about that.
This is probably more than you want to hear from your old mom, but there's more to physical intimacy than just sex. Learn together to make love. Learn together what works for the two of you – regardless of what the latest book or whatever says. There's a very big difference between just having sex and making love with the woman you share your life with and I hope you don't know the difference from firsthand experience.
We love you, our son and now our daughter. We're proud of you.
Guard your love. Keep it safe. Protect it from the forces of life that will try to destroy it.
We've loved you both from the beginning, dear children, and we'll love you till the end.
Love,
Mom
