Hi!
As always I’d like to give my thanks to my betas, Mona, Kmar, and Mellie! You girls rock and with three raving reviews I can post this without worrying about plotholes
Since there had been some controversy about Lois’ behavior in part seven, I hope part eight will clear some stuff up and provide a little more insight into our crazed out reporter.
Oh, and, Clark will be back, so don’t you worry, guys
Michael
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters and settings in this story are the property of D.C. Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions, and anyone else with a legal right to them, and I have no claim on them whatsoever, nor am I profiting by their use. It’s just the original stuff, that would be mine, written down to bring some entertainment to other FoLC.
The setting is right after “Season’s Greedings” in Season 2.
Blocks in >> << are literal thoughts by the character.
Rating: PG-13
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In part seven Lois went completely overboard in her attempts to drive Clark away from her. What had originally been meant as a simple means to hurt him back for hurting her when he had been ‘dead’, turned into a vicious attempt of driving him out of her live.
But what will Lois do now that she seems to have finally gotten her message across. Can she just go on to be Mad Dog Lane again, single and driven to excel?
Part 8 /
TOC /
Comments **********
It was three in the afternoon when Lois decided to call it a day. The news had been exceptionally slow this Tuesday after New Year, and with her ex-partner working on the puff-piece, there hadn’t been much for her to do but sit around and look occupied. She wasn’t normally one for slacking off, but today she had needed to.
It still felt like a bad dream. And just what had that super-liar been thinking, suddenly becoming so aggressive? Things had been so much easier when he had just followed her around, coming to heel on her beck and call as both Clark and Superman.
Of course, it probably hadn’t helped that he had gotten *some* yesterday, but this didn’t give him the right to challenge her today. Men were all the same. Once they got into your pants they would drop their façades and show you the bastard hiding underneath.
At least this particularly disgusting specimen had had enough decency to finally stop twitching after she had stomped long and hard enough on him. Yes, that had probably been the only positive aspect of today, shoving her ex-partner out of her heart and being able to lock the door behind him.
Lois was now sure that everything was finally alright, and if she was exceptionally lucky, Perry would even forget about her ‘Superman exclusive’ if she refrained from bringing it up again. After all, stories fell flat more often than not, and there had been the odd occasion where even she pulled a dud from one of her walk-in sources.
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>>People weren’t supposed to be out and about at four in the afternoon,<< Lois grumbled to herself while pulling out onto Church Street. >>Did nobody work anymore in this city? And just why had the Cost Mart been so totally swamped with mothers and their incessantly whining kids, buying groceries like there was no tomorrow?<<
Lois still cursed heaven and earth when she got to her apartment an hour later while absentmindedly digging into the half gallon tub of Rocky Road she had bought on her way home.
>>And there is nothing wrong with eating ice cream on a winter afternoon while driving home from work. This is perfectly normal behavior,<< she rationalized while feeling around the insides of her purse for her keys. Not getting a good grip on the small bag, Lois stemmed one hip against the door frame and precariously balanced the half-empty tub between her left thigh and the door. Finally having found the set of keys to her apartment, she began to unlock her front door’s five locks while attempting to spoon another good sized chunk of the chocolaty soul balm into her mouth.
When the door gave way at the opening of the first lock, Lois lost her balance and went screaming and cursing into her apartment. There she soon got closely acquainted with the very wooden and very hard floor while sending the ice cream tub to roll halfway across her living room.
“OWW! What the hell is going on?” Lois sputtered, trying to get up before an obvious intruder had a chance to get hold of her.
That was when her eyes found the tub again where it had stopped its tumble. Actually, where it had been stopped by to two well-worn suitcases.
The next thing she became aware of was a very feminine giggle, no, delete that, this was flat out laughter.
>>Lucy!<<
Finally righting herself, Lois scowled and started to retaliate to the annoying sound. “Lucy! How often do I have to tell you to lock the door even when you are *inside* the apartment! Metropolis may have Superman, but this does not mean there aren’t any burglars left, not to mention the odd crook trying to get to me. And just what about me breaking my neck when I try to open a door supposedly locked by *five* locks, only to have if spring open at the first turn of the key? And just *what* are you doing here in Metropolis. I thought you were still busy in that commune in California. Hell, I had invited you to *Christmas Dinner* two weeks ago and you didn’t have the time. And now, all of a sudden, you are here!? Couldn’t you at least have called ahead?”
Lois finally ran out of steam, quite a remarkable feat actually, and probably to be contributed to the fact that her recent ungracious, yet close, acquaintance with the floor had left her winded. Lucy on the other hand did look – for all intents and purposes – like she was about to make a mess on Lois’ love seats.
“This is *not* funny, Luce!” Lois growled indignantly.
“Oh…“ *SNORT* “ … yes, it is,” Lucy managed to squeeze out between laughing fits even as she was dabbing her eyes with her sleeves and before she fell back into another uncontrolled laughing fit.
Lois on the other hand was left to curse her little sister’s inconsiderate behavior and stumbled to collect her tub of Rocky Road, silently hoping Lucy wouldn’t notice the ice cream bucket, or its half empty state. There were just too many hints there for her sister to interpret.
It was only when Lois closed the fridge’s door after stowing away what was left of the frozen delicacy that she noticed her sister had grown silent.
>>Now what? Had she managed to actually soil my couch?<< Lois thought exasperatedly before turning around to face her sister who was currently standing right behind her, arms crossed and a folded sheet of paper in her right hand. And Lois was fairly certain she recognized this piece of paper after having seen it only this very morning.
“Give me that, Lucy!” Lois exclaimed while grabbing for the note.
Lucy pulled back energetically while swatting Lois away with her left hand. “Ugh uh, no way, Lois! This piece of evidence will have to be evaluated in close detail. So put away your coat and shoes and join me on one of those ridiculously uncomfortable pieces of furniture you have in place of a *decent* couch.”
“Lucy, I do *not* have to explain anything to you, and most certainly not while you are a guest at my place. And if you don’t like my seating arrangements, you are always welcome to use the floor,” Lois good-naturedly concluded their age old battle over her choice of living room furniture. And even though she had to – silently – concede that Lucy was right about the love seats, the lack of comfort made sure their mother only stayed for as long as she could sit on the sofas without getting back pain.
“Fine, I’ll yield to you on the sofas, but there is no way you can distract me from grilling you over this,” Lucy said before she started to read from the letter.
“Lois, my Love!
There is an emergency I cannot ignore.
I promise we will talk this evening.
Forever and totally yours, S.”
Lucy gave her sister a moment to consider before she asked the obvious question. “So tell me, Lo, who is this *S* that is leaving behind sweet little notes in your *bedroom*? Spill it, Big Sister, you know you can’t escape me.”
“Oh yeah? And what if I don’t want to ‘spill it’” Lois shot back, giving her sister a defiant look to boot.
Lucy appeared to think for a moment before her face lit up as if she had had a revelation.
“Okay, if you don’t want to tell me, then I will have to tell Mother.”
Their *mother*!? This had to be some kind of sick joke for there was no way she would allow Lucy to bring their mother into this.
“Oh nonononono! Oh no, you won’t! Lucy, I’m not joking here. This thing cannot leave this room, do you understand. You will *not* involve Mother in this. Not unless you want me to provide a detailed list of your boyfriends to her, too,” Lois returned the threat of mutually assured destruction to her little sister.
“Boohoo, you can’t scare me anymore, Lois. I’m no longer living at home. I’m an adult now and unlike you, I do *not* crave her acceptance. And don’t you deny it, Lois. I know you better than anyone and deep down you still crave our parent’s approval. Which is also the reason why my threat is going to work while yours is about to become a dud. So, as I’ve said before, sit down and spill the nasty,” Lucy concluded before sitting down on the love seat.
Lois evaluated the look her suddenly not so little sister gave her and let out a defeated sigh. She knew that look – the Mad Dog Lane look. The look she got when she was on the trail of a hot story and there was no way she was going to let go of her prey. But she would be damned if her sister found out all about the happenings of last night. There had to be a decent amount of privacy left, even between sisters. And if she had to lie like…, like…, like her ex-partner, then so be it.
Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Lois answered her sister’s interrogation. “I found this note this morning, before I had a chance to talk to him. That’s what the note says, isn’t it?”
“A-ha. So ‘S’ just happened to want to talk to you this morning and left you a note that stated he had to attend an emergency and would talk to you this evening. And this note just happened to lie in your *bedroom*. That’s all, nothing out of the ordinary, then?”
“Exactly,” Lois grinned happily at Lucy’s easy acceptance of her explanation.
“Then who is this ‘S’, Lois?” Lucy said and Lois found herself staring into the face of a cat playing with a canary.
>>Now, since when had Lucy gotten so nitpicky about the details?<< Lois wondered before mustering up a reasonable response.
“Ah, I…, um… a source. Yes, a source of mine. That’s what the ‘S’ stands for. Source.”
Glad to have found a reasonable explanation, Lois puffed, crossed her own arms and rested against the back of her love seats. And started to move around until she found a comfortable spot.
Lois was still wiggling about when the next assault hit her in a place that she hadn’t expected: right in her face.
“And this *source* of yours, does he have anything to do with the mess that I had found your place in?”
Lois was eternally grateful that she hadn’t been drinking anything, for she was sure that Lucy would otherwise get to test her knowledge of the Heimlich maneuver on a choking sister.
“Mess!? What *mess*?” Lois stammered, suddenly becoming painfully aware that she had in fact *not* thought about cleaning up her apartment before leaving this morning for work.
Craning her neck to look into her bedroom, Lois was confronted with the sight of her sheet-less bed and even more incriminating, the discarded robe on the floor. Trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, and even willing to admit to using ‘Mr. Superman’ in order to divert her sister’s attention, Lois’ focus landed on the two champagne flutes still standing in front of her on the couch table.
>>Oh crap!<<
Lois raised her gaze again to look at her sister, who now sat smugly on the opposite side of the sofa, a grin spreading across her face.
“Lucy, there is an explanation,” Lois tried nonetheless, raising her hands in a placating gesture.
“Zip it, Big Sister. You may be the big shot investigative reporter, but that doesn’t mean your little sister is the dumb one in the family. The champagne flutes, the robe, the rumpled state of your bed, they are all quite obvious signs, you know? Or do you think I’ve never found my own place in such a state the next morning? My big sister has finally started to have dates instead of interviews. I’m *so* proud of you, Lo,” Lucy beamed while Lois tried to shrink into her love seats. Not that they were soft enough to even swallow a flea, much less a fully grown woman.
Starting to hope this might have been it, Lois took a deep breath before her sister launched her third assault.
“And the *S*, Lois? You really did it, didn’t you? You have managed to snag yourself some Kryptonian butt, haven’t you? My sister is *Superman’s* girlfriend. Wow, this is too good to be true.”
“What… how!?” was all Lois was able to press out before Lucy continued.
“Oh come on, Lo. What other *S* could there be who has to run off for an emergency in the middle of the night?” Lucy finally grinned after having swallowed the proverbial canary whole, a few tail feathers still sticking out from her mouth.
“Simon, the firefighter?” Lois tried in one last valiant attempt to divert her sister from what she knew was to come next.
“Yeah, right, Big Sister. That’s almost as believable as *Smallville*,” Lucy giggled.
>>What was wrong with Smallville?<< Lois couldn’t help but wonder before clamping down on this unpleasant emotion.
“So, Lo, I want *details*. I mean, we have all seen pictures of him, haven’t we. Those shoulders alone, and is his chest really as magnificent without the suit as everybody thinks? And what about his butt? With his cape always billowing around his backside, it’s not like you can actually see it, so come on, tell me, Lois! Is it as firm as the rest of him? Did you bite into those buns of steel?”
“I…,” Lois managed to stutter, before her sister continued her barrage.
“And now for the most important part. You know how the Digger always speculates about padding. Have you seen the shots of him with the spandex all taught and strained? Is he really as magnificent a specimen as the pictures make him out to be? Come on, Lo, I want *details*,” Lucy squealed to a face that had taken on a color similar to the shade of the aforementioned cape. “After all, whom else do I know who has had a really close encounter of the third kind?”
“I better hope no one or there will be bloody hell to pay,” Lois muttered under her breath while trying to shunt the memory of what said magnificent specimen had done to her the night before and other, even more unwelcome ideas.
“What was that, Lois?” Lucy quipped.
“Nothing, okay? Nothing important at all,” Lois replied subdued, still worrying about the strange feeling she had had a moment ago. And since she didn’t want Superman anymore, she was absolutely certain that it hadn’t been jealousy. But what else could constrict her guts? Perhaps the day was getting to her and she was developing heartburn.
Satisfied at her resolution, Lois turned her focus back to Lucy, and promptly got blasted with the fourth volley in the Grand Lane Shootout of 1995.
“And what about condoms, Lo? I mean, I looked, but there weren’t any. So did he bring his own right from Krypton? Or does he get them here? What brand does he use?”
Lois blinked at that question. >>Condoms? Lucy didn’t find any condoms?<<
“Condoms?” Lois asked in a small voice.
“Yes, oh wise and big sister. Condoms. A lady’s best friend for *his* best friend. The one thing that stands between you and maternity leave, or worse, if you are really unlucky. Those condoms.”
“Condoms,” Lois said in an even smaller voice, beginning to calculate certain dates in her mind.
“Wait a second, Lois. Please do *not* tell me my wise sister hasn’t taken any precautions when it came to the world’s most eligible bachelor. Hell, I’m on the pill and yet never leave the house without some in my purse. And here I find my *big sister*, the one who has preached these things to me since I had turned fourteen, the one who actually *gave* me a box on my sixteenth birthday, surprised at the concept of *condoms*?”
Lucy groaned and covered her face with her hands while she begged her sister, “Please, Lois, please tell me you are joking.”
When Lucy looked back up from her hands, she found her sister crying into one of her throw pillows.
“You are not joking. And from what you have told me after the Luthor debacle, you are no longer on the pill either, are you?” Lucy said while scooting closer to her big sister, getting ready to comfort Lois who was shaking in the total meltdown that had been developing since she had woken up this morning.
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Lois had no idea how long she had been crying, but by the time her tears had finally dried up, she was physically and mentally exhausted. Oh, she hadn’t been crying because of an impending pregnancy – according to her earlier calculations, she was still a good week away from ovulating. And besides, what chance was there anyway of humans and Kryptonians being actually compatible.
No, she was crying for the lost chance at happiness Lucy’s grilling had brought to her mind. The simple truth was that it didn’t even matter if she was pregnant. Clark had lied to her so profoundly, had hurt her so deeply, that she certainly couldn’t even consider a relationship with him. And if even the sweet and innocent farm-boy from rural Kansas could hurt her like this, then there was no way she could ever fall for anybody else either. So this was now going to be her life. Lois Lane, award winning reporter and the future Cat Lady of Carter Avenue.
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“Lois? Hey, Lois?”
>>Lucy? Lucy was still there?<< Lois thought to herself as she slowly became aware of her sister. And the way she was scooped up on the love seat, her head resting in Lucy’s lap while Lucy kept stroking her hair.
“It’s okay. We will find a way out of this. I’m sure Superman isn’t just going to leave you alone in this.”
Superman! Lucy still thought – correctly – that she had been with Superman last night. How could she ever explain to Lucy why Superman was never going to talk to her again? And how could she explain to Lucy that it had just been a one-night stand. Especially after her nosy sibling had found the letter the dolt had left for her. That damn letter that had told her sister all about the happenings of last night. Well, not all the details, but enough to let her know he was not just a love ‘em and leave ‘em guy. So how could she ever explain it to her little sister that there was no romance. That Superman didn’t exist in her life anymore. There was simply no way she could just tell Lucy that she didn’t want Superman anymore. Her sister wouldn’t believe it anyway unless she painted the hero as a monster.
Just like she had tried to do for Perry this morning. When she had tried to hurt Clark like he had hurt her. When she had done everything in her power to destroy his affection for her. When she had pushed and kicked and screamed until her Kansas farm boy had finally understood that there was no place in Lois Lane’s heart for him. When she had truly almost managed to destroy the one good person in this world. When she had…
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“Lois! Lois, please stop crying. You are scaring me. Please, tell me what’s going on.”
Lois slowly began to recognize her sister’s voice in between the hiccups of her second crying fit within just a few minutes. Trying to calm down she tried to look at the facts.
She had left Lucy in the belief that Superman had been with her sister. Which was undeniably true. Only that it had been Clark underneath.
She could never tell her sister that there was no Lois and Superman love story. Lucy would never understand it or belief any excuse she would be able to conjure up.
And if she didn’t stop crying anytime soon, she was going to die of dehydration. Which was said to be a particularly unpleasant death. Not that this might not be a fitting end after the last 48 hours.
And if Lucy kept on hugging her like an imbecile, she was going to spill her guts and her partner’s biggest secret in one giant babbling fit.
“It wasn’t…” *Sob* “…Superman”, Lois whispered.
“What was that, Lois?” Lucy asked, obviously trying to figure out if she had heard what she had thought she had heard.
Taking a sniffling breath and trying to clear her throat, Lois attempted to speak again. “Last night, it wasn’t Superman. The letter, that was just a…” *Sniff* “…just a ruse.”
“Who was not Superman?”
“Clark. I…” *Sob* “…I wrote the letter to hurt him. Get him all worked up and then show him to the door. Telling him to go before *Superman* got back to me. Make him think that he didn’t measure up. But then things got out of hand and…” *Sob* “…and…” *Sniff* “…and he found the letter after we had…” Lois choked, trying to tell a slanted version of the truth that at least didn’t give Lucy more ammunition against the man she had so successfully ripped to pieces earlier that day.
“Wait. Are you saying that you and *Clark* had been together last night and you made him believe afterwards that you and *Superman* had been involved, too?” Lucy asked in an incredulous voice.
“Sort of…,” Lois sniffed into her cushion.
“But why on earth would you do that?”
“Because I was hurt! And I tried to hurt him back, okay? I just found out that he had lied to me and hurt me more than you can ever understand and after Lex, and Claude, and Paul, and Dad, and … oh, Lucy, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t deal with Clark so I lashed out. And now everything is even more messed up than before,” Lois sobbed before her tears started again and she buried her face in Lucy’s lap.
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“So let me get this straight,” Lucy said after Lois had calmed down once more, “Clark lies to you and since he is your partner, this is not something you can excuse. Am I correct so far?” she asked only to receive an acquiescing sniff from the wreck nestled in her lap.
“Then you ask him to your place and try to seduce him, only to inform him of his inadequacy in the face of your *super* boyfriend?” Lucy’s voice had turned incredulous once again at that last sentence. “But this is nuts! This makes absolutely no sense. Why would you first turn him on only to send him away when things start to get serious? And am I correct in assuming you two haven’t been an item before?”
“Because…” *Sob* Lois knew this was it. If she said the next sentence Lucy would most likely leave her too, and for good reason. But it didn’t matter anymore anyway. “Because I’ve made sure…” *Sob, Sob* “…that he wouldn’t be thinking straight at the time. Because I have made sure that for all that counts he would be the one to pursue me.”
“What are you saying, Lois?” Lucy asked in a wary voice.
“Remember the sex perfume from last year. The one that made every one act like a love sick teenager?” Lois whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Let’s just say I’ve found away to make Clark think with something else than his brain last night and leave it at that.”
“Lois!?” Lucy said while scooting back from her position beneath Lois’ head. “You are not saying that you actually *drugged* your partner, are you?”
Lois was quite certain that her next sobbing fit was enough of a confirmation for her younger sister’s question. And Lucy’s retreat was doing its own very good part in confirming Lois’ own expectations of abandonment.
**********
“Stop crying, Lois, or I will be forced to slap you!” Lois heard her sister’s agitated voice through the haze of her despair while she felt herself getting pulled upright.
“Are you totally *insane*, Lo!? Lucy screamed while shaking Lois’ shoulders for good measure. “Did you just say you *drugged* your partner to get even and then *slept* with him?”
“So I overreacted,” Lois replied, suddenly feeling defensive again.
“That’s not overreacting, Lois.” Lucy informed her big sister. “That’s way beyond even *your* crazy stunts. What on earth have you been thinking? And what about *Clark*? Have you even wasted one second considering what you have done to him?”
Lois winced when she saw her sister literally pull back from her.
“Don’t give the ‘hurt puppy’-look, Lois. I’m not going to fall for it.”
“So that’s…” *sniff* “…it?” Lois asked, not sure if she could place her relationship with her little sister right next to the shambles that had become her life.
“Noo…,” Lucy drawled, “of course that’s not *it*. I am still your sister, but if you don’t shape up and make things right *very* soon, I’m going to kick your sorry butt so hard, you will need Superman to pluck you down from where you are orbiting.”
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tbc
