Hi!
This part is gifc-only, but to my loyal nfic-followers, I promise to bring the kinky stuff back, too. Unfortunately, this will also mean my getting back to Sundays with the gfic-version
Thanks go as always to my betas for giving me those small but invaluable suggestions and to my loyal fans for giving such nice FDK as well as some interesting perspectives
And I took Carol's idea of a obscure canon character and put him in there. Only, mine won't be such a candidate for vindictive dismemberment. And given how many people are in this part, I guess he will be quite tough to spot
But you do have to point out where he came from, too.
Michael
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters and settings in this story are the property of D.C. Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions, and anyone else with a legal right to them, and I have no claim on them whatsoever, nor am I profiting by their use. It’s just the original stuff, that would be mine, written down to bring some entertainment to other FoLC.
The setting is right after “Season’s Greedings” in Season 2.
Blocks in >> << are literal thoughts by the character.
Rating: PG-13
**********
While part 8 focused on how Lois began to deal with the events of the last day, this part will explore into Clark’s feelings on these subjects. Please bear in mind, he still does not know that Lois is Anonymous, and so he still holds himself responsible for everything that has happened.
Part 9 /
TOC /
Comments **********
Clark immediately noticed when Lois got ready to leave. It’s not like he had been spying on her. Honestly, he hadn’t. No, this was more like a painful awareness of her presence that permeated his self. Before last night he had had to at least focus on Lois if he wanted to feel close to her, but now everything had changed. Her heartbeat, the sound of her breathing, even her scent permeated his entire being whenever he got near her. There was just no escape for him. And it should have been wonderful, this bond he felt with her after what had transpired. Only now all it did was remind him of the way she had taken his heart into her gentle hands – and crushed it.
Oh, how naïve he had been after she had broken his heart the first time. He had actually believed that now he knew what everyone talked about. How it felt to lose your great love. Looking back, it was almost funny in a way. Not that he could actually laugh about it, or anything else for that matter. Lois’ declaration of indifference to him had taken care of that.
At first he had thought Lois hated him for lying to her, and for taking advantage of her. But when he looked back at the events of this morning, he came to realize she only hated herself. It was stupid, for she had no fault in what had happened. If anyone was to blame, it should be him, for taking advantage of her last night. Oh, how much he would give for her to actually hate him for what he had done, or even for the lies he had spun to protect his secret. He could take mad Lois, he could deal with a Lois that was lashing out, but a Lois that was indifferent to him? This was something he had never had to deal with before.
It was like the fire had gone out of her eyes when she had told him that Superman didn’t exist anymore. He could even have learned to live with the fact that she only loved the super-part of him. The larger-than-life hero. Then at least he would have managed to remain in her life. But to listen to her telling him *he* was not enough, that she wouldn’t even want a super-hero with feet of clay? This was beyond anything he could ever have imagined he would have to deal with.
Yes, his life had most definitely changed last night. Only it had changed to a place that was now unbearable to live in. Bound to Lois Lane by an invisible chain of steel even he couldn’t break, and yet forever forbidden to wander inside the iron gates that once again guarded her heart. He was surely doomed, and yet here he was, diligently heading out onto the roof and getting ready to follow Lois home, making sure she was going to safely arrive at her destination.
**********
Clark was still hovering several hundred feet above her car when she pulled up to her apartment building. He did a quick sweep of her apartment, making sure nobody was waiting for her, only to be surprised by the presence of her sister Lucy inside.
>>Oh well,<< Clark thought to himself, >>at least she will have someone to talk to.<<
Noticing Lois had made it safely to her front door, he decided to leave her in the hands of her younger sibling and turned away. There was certainly no way he was going to spy on the sisters catching up. Lois may have lost her faith in him, but this didn’t mean he was going to violate his principles even further than he already had last night.
And so Clark took off again, a last, heavy sigh the only thing that remained behind when he turned towards the Midwest and a small farming community in the middle of nowhere.
**********
Clark dropped down onto the porch at his parent’s farmhouse at a little past four in the afternoon, local time. After spinning out of his suit, Clark entered the house, announcing his presence with a slightly louder than normal “Mom, Dad, I’m home!”
It took his parents only a few moments to get over their surprise at seeing their only son again so soon after he had left for Metropolis just the evening before last.
“Clark, Honey, shouldn’t you be in Metropolis right now?” his mother queried worriedly in greeting when she exited the cozy kitchen where she and her husband had spent the late winter afternoon.
“Martha, I think our son must have a very good reason to be here,” his father added from behind his wife, before turning his attention to Clark. “And I guess there is only one reason why you would drop in right after work. Am I right, Son?”
“Oh, but of course, Jonathan,” his mother’s face lit up with understanding. “So, where is she?”
“She?” Clark replied, unsure of what his parents were getting at.
“Lois, Honey!” Martha beamed. “After all, you *did* tell us in great length how you wanted to tell her about you last night.”
Blinking, Clark realized just how his dropping by must have looked to his parents. Of course they would assume he had brought Lois here after telling her about himself. And he probably would have, provided she would have allowed him to touch her after the revelation. And if he took the events of this morning as a baseline, he wasn’t all too sure about this outcome anymore.
“Yeah, about that,” Clark began to explain, dragging his foot over the floor in an embarrassed gesture.
“Oh, so you didn’t tell her after all?”
Why did his mother have to be so perceptive? True, he was usually most grateful for his quick-witted parents, but couldn’t they at least let him tell the story at his own speed? For instance, the speed with which the continents drifted across the earth’s mantle.
“Um, no, that’s not it. I mean, Lois knows. It’s just that…” Clark stammered, unsure how to break the news to his parents. And how much of the news was actually meant to be revealed to his mother’s psychoanalysis.
“You did mention she might get mad when you told her,” his father added thoughtfully, while putting an arm around his wife’s waist. “You know, Son, you just have to give her time to process everything.”
“You can certainly say that, Dad,” Clark said in a tone of voice that would have normally been associated with a sly smile, the same smile that had always played across his lips before when he mentioned his fiery partner to his parents. And perhaps it had been the lack of this smile that gave him away to the best investigative team in the Midwest.
“What’s wrong, Clark? Why do you think she won’t forgive you?” his mother queried, the concern evident in her voice.
“That’s a long story,” Clark exhaled with a defeated sigh before his mother interjected.
“Then we better sit down. Do you want a hot chocolate? It’s ready on the stove, so it will only take a minute,” Clark heard his mother take charge before he was being pushed into the kitchen by his father.
And then he took a deep breath and began to elaborate onto the events of last night and this morning – properly censored for decency of course.
**********
“So what you are saying is that Lois invited Superman to her apartment last night and told you she was in love with you,” his mother summarized while he nodded his head, absentmindedly playing with the teaspoon that had accompanied his hot chocolate.
“And instead of telling her about your secret, you let things happen between the two of you?”
Clark felt himself blush in embarrassment and shame at his weakness.
“And the next morning you’ve learned that it hadn’t actually been Lois’ free will that made things happen, but rather this *drug* you came across a year ago?”
Clark nodded again before he let his head drop.
“*Clark Jerome Kent*! Do you have any idea how disappointed I…,“ Martha shared a quick look with her husband before correcting herself, “…*we* are with you right now? How could you take Lois to bed without telling her first? What happened to truth and honor?”
Clark winced at the reproaching look both his parents gave him at that moment. He assumed they would have willingly accepted his relationship with Lois, even if it had happened with her unbeknownst being drugged, but he knew he had just disappointed them terribly by lying to Lois in this situation.
“I’m sorry, Mom, Dad. I know I screwed up, okay?” Clark conceded, earning himself a sharp look before he hastily appended. “I mean, I know it’s not *okay*, it’s actually quite the opposite. And do you have any idea just how much I would like to take back what had happened last night?” Clark was close to tears by now, and the only thing that kept them in check was his unwillingness to appear like he was trying to win their sympathy.
“So, what’s going to happen now?” his mother asked, carefully taking a twisted piece of metal from his hands.
“I wish I knew,” Clark sighed. “I don’t *think* Lois is going to write an exposé about me. I know, she had threatened me with doing so, but that was when she was lashing out at me. I don’t think she really meant it even then. You should have seen her. She was the most fragile nuclear explosion you’ve ever seen. And then she just collapsed and told me she couldn’t stand being close to me anymore. That she only had wanted Superman, and now that Superman doesn’t exist anymore, I had nothing left to offer to her and should just leave her alone.”
There, he had said it. Perhaps now his parents understood just how dire his situation really was.
“So that’s it? You are just going to give up on her because she told you to go away?” his mother scolded before her husband added his own opinion to the conversation.
“She really said that?” he asked, earning himself a sharp glance from his wife.
“Please, Dad. I really *don’t* want to talk about how trustworthy Lois is right now. She isn’t going to write this story or she would have already done so.”
“No, that’s not what I was talking about. I know Lois, and I know she isn’t going to do such a thing,” his father clarified before he continued. “What I don’t understand is why she would so completely deny any feelings for you, Son.”
“What are you talking about, Dad?” Clark asked, interrupting his mental self-flogging.
“You see, Son,” the elder Kent continued to the interested gleam in his wife’s eyes. “You’ve told us that the love potion only allowed a person’s innermost desires to surface. Am I correct so far?”
At Clark’s acquiescing nod his father went on with his explanation.
“So last year Lois declared her love for you, Clark, when this Miranda-person sprayed the newsroom. And this time she was all over Superman and completely ignored you as Clark.”
“Yes?” Clark was at a loss to figure out what his father was talking about. Giving his mother a quick glance, he had the sudden feeling he was looking at a teacher bursting with pride at her very best student. Ever.
“Then how can you believe her declaring she no longer has any feelings for you just because she figured out Clark and Superman are one and the same?” Jonathan concluded to the grin of his wife.
“Because she said so,” Clark answered, trying not to sound too petulant. Why was it this hard for his parents to accept the fact that Lois no longer cared for him?
“So all your indications of Lois’ feelings come from a *very* heated discussion an hour after she had learned about your secret and after the night she had unwittingly spent with her best friend?” his mother asked with a look that made him wonder if she really thought him to be an intelligent life-form.
“What else could I go from?” Clark asked helplessly.
“Calm down, Martha,” his father tried to help. “Our boy hasn’t yet had a chance to learn the secret language innate to a woman in love.”
“Are you mocking me, Jonathan?” his mother glared before focusing on her son. “But I guess your father is right on this one. You see, Clark, it’s not possible to just unlearn to love somebody. At least not within an hour,” she said while taking his hand to stop any interruptions to her speech. “And when you say Lois denied having feelings for you, well, that could only be true if they had been missing from the very start. And we all know better than that, don’t we?”
His self-appointed counselor on the female ways took a breath and then went on with her explanation before he could do much more than look helplessly into her wise eyes.
“So this only leaves you with two alternatives to consider. One is that she actually hates you for what you have done.” A statement that caused Clark to wince in imagined pain. “And the other would be that she is trying to lock you out of her heart, even though she still loves you.”
“So she hates me,” Clark deducted from his mother’s explanation.
>>Okay, now she really *does* look at me like I’m as dumb as a rock<< Clark thought while he noticed his father was studying his right hand very carefully. >>Was he smirking?<<
“No, Clark, that’s not what I said,” his mother clarified with what could only be described as a forced calmness. “And neither has Lois as far as you have explained it to us. Do you really believe she would have *not* told you she hated you if that were the case?”
“She would have?” Clark asked dumbfounded.
“Oh yes, she would have. She may be in denial even to herself right now, but for all that’s worth, I’m quite certain that the young woman in your life is quite thoroughly in love with you. Otherwise there is no way she would have reacted this strongly to your revelation.”
“Oh,” was all Clark managed to say.
“Yes, *oh*, Honey. So I wouldn’t start packing just yet, you know? You didn’t do anything as rash as you did the times before, did you? You still have your job and the lease on your apartment, right?” his suddenly worried mother finished with a question.
“Yes, Mom, I still have *both* a job and a place to stay. It’s just been a couple of hours. Not even *I* am that fast.”
>>Or dense,<< he mentally appended.
And just why was his mother raising her left eyebrow like that, Clark asked himself silently.
“Good, then perhaps now is the time to come up with a way to dig you out of this mess.”
**********
“I can’t believe you said that, Jonathan,” his wife admonished him while playfully slapping his forearm. Clark had already left for Metropolis and the day was winding down in the Kent farmhouse.
“Well, you yourself confirmed that Lois must still be in love with our son,” Jonathan defended himself.
“And then you had just *had* to tell him to go on a shopping spree in a Swiss confiserie? And when did you start to learn French, anyway?” Martha jabbed her husband in a good natured banter.
“Well, there was this one time Clark took me to Europe to buy you something special for our thirtieth anniversary,” Jonathan mused before getting back on topic. “And as far as Lois is concerned, I know just like you do that she was way out of line in the way she confronted Clark. But I didn’t have to tell that to our son. At least not if I wanted him to actually go to her and *ask* her to talk to him.”
“Go on,” encouraged his wife.
“I know how you think Lois is the stubborn one in their relationship, but I know our son. And more importantly, I understand men. And believe me, if I had told him that he had a side in this conversation too, then he would have just barged in on Lois with flying colors and confronted her again. And would you really have liked to see *that* happening?”
“No, that really wouldn’t have been something I would have liked to see. And no matter how much Lois loves our boy, in the state she is in right now, the last thing she needs is another confrontation,” Martha conceded. “I just hope she can forgive him for his lies.”
“See, and that’s where the piles and piles of Swiss chocolate will come into play,” Jonathan grinned at his wife.
“Jonathan Kent, you are impossible, do you know that?” Martha exclaimed exasperatedly.
“Hey, Swiss chocolate has always worked on you, hasn’t it?” Jonathan shrugged.
“Oh you!” Martha exclaimed after her retreating husband, trying to catch him before he made it all the way to their bedroom.
**********
Clark was still thinking about his parents’ remarks when he ambled back towards Metropolis after his brief trip to Europe. He was grateful to his Dad for reminding him of their short trip to Switzerland a few years ago. It had been one of the few times he had actually taken one of his parents for a longer flight and the memory had helped in lightening his mood.
Unfortunately, now he was racing closer and closer Metropolis again and his worries and doubts had started to surface once more.
Could Lois’ outburst this morning followed by her freezing up truly be explained as her trying to protect her heart? Could she really still be in love with him, after everything he had done to her?
Sighing deeply, Clark decided to trust his parents’ advice as he had done so often before. They had yet to steer him wrong. And he was quite certain that his father’s advice of sending Lois chocolates and roses couldn’t be too bad either. And not just because his mother hadn’t argued against it.
Which was also the reason why he was now packed with all sorts of pralines from the small Swiss and Belgium confiseries he knew from his travels around the world. Yes, handmade pralines would certainly help in soothing the dragon he so unwittingly had awakened this morning.
And now he had to figure out how to implement the hard part of his master plan to gain Lois’ forgiveness. He had to actually get her to talk to him long enough to accept his apology.
‘Groveling will play a big part in this’ his father had intoned, and Clark could only acquiesce. Indeed, if he hoped to have any chance of rebuilding his relationship with the woman he loved, he would have to do quite a lot of groveling.
But first he had to find a delivery service that had round-the-clock service. The small hand of the clock had just crossed the ten in Metropolis, and if he had to choose between sending his first package late at night or early in the morning, he was certainly going to go with late at night. At least if Lois was still awake.
And first thing in the morning he was going to have a letter delivered to Lois, bundled with more chocolates and flowers. Yes, a letter would be a good idea, for it was certainly non-confrontational, and if he did it right, she might even read the first few lines before throwing it away. And perhaps, just perhaps, she might even read the whole letter.
The one thing Clark wasn’t sure about, was how to bring up the topic of finding Anonymous. He knew that he didn’t have the right to do so. Not with Lois being the primary victim in this mess. Perhaps he could talk to Perry after all? But with Lois having told their editor that Superman has had sex with a drugged woman, what would their boss think when Clark walked into his office, telling him there was a nut-job with ‘Revenge’ on the loose?
It wasn’t so much that he was worried about keeping his reputation. Not in front of Perry. Not when their editor had been a victim of ‘Revenge’ himself last year. But he wouldn’t drag Lois into this story as anything other than an investigator. It would be too humiliating for her.
Then there was the small part about how Perry might actually *want* to print a story his star reporting team spent so much time on. Even properly edited to leave out all the names involved, once they printed the story, who was to tell what would happen when another ‘publication’ interviewed Anonymous? And then he would be back to square one again, with Lois and Superman making the headlines of the Digger.
So he couldn’t go to Perry to ask for his help in getting Lois assigned to the story. But what if he showed Lois the letters? Well, copies of them, anyway. It wouldn’t do for her to trash them as supposed love letters, destroying what little evidence they had. Yes, that could work. He would put them with his apology letter tomorrow, making sure to tell her he was sorry and going to find out who was behind it in the very first line. Then she really shouldn’t be able to just discard his information. Least of all if he managed to peak her investigative instincts.
>>Yes, that would work,<< Clark smiled to himself and almost pitied the poor creature Anonymous was going to be, once he got more closely acquainted with Mad Dog Lane.
Now he only had to figure out how they could track down this Anonymous.
**********
Once Clark drifted over Metropolis again, he made a quick flyby of Lois’ apartment, and confirmed that she was, indeed, still awake. What he saw there did give his guilty conscience new fuel, for Lois was sitting opposite her younger sister, clad in fluffy pajamas, and the room looked for all intents and purposes like a Kleenex-truck had exploded in there.
Yes, Lois definitely could use some more chocolate even after her attack on the Rocky Road tub she had bought this afternoon.
Hurrying towards his apartment to set his sweet offerings down inside his kitchen, Clark grabbed a box of nougat filled balls of milk chocolate, each carefully wrapped in golden foil, and started to peruse the telephone book in search of a delivery service close to Lois’ apartment.
He was on his way out of the window all of 30 seconds later and dropped down in an alley next to the small corner shop of Fred’s Express. Entering the shop as Clark Kent, he was happy to see a stack of all sorts of cards. Taking his time to look through them, he was astonished to find one that so completely fit his situation.
It was a depiction of the one of the most famous ‘Love Is…’ cartoons by Kim Grove. His parents had quite a collection of them in the form of towels and greeting cards and even a few mugs. But the one he was holding now was ‘Love Is...being able to say you are sorry’.
Taking the unexpected hand of fate, Clark placed the card on the counter and started to look for a pen before beginning to write.
It was only when he was finished that the college student behind the counter looked up from his studies.
“A ‘Love Is…’ card, huh? Well, me, I’ve always thought them to be corny, but if it works for ya. And chocolates, too? Huh, looks like ya’re in trouble with the Missus, huh, man?”
Clark mentally shook his head and wondered if it was just his Midwestern upbringing that had prevented him from becoming so snotty-nosed or if the level of cultural education really had dropped this far within just the few years that separated him from this aspiring member of society.
“Hi…,” Clark made a point of looking closely at the youth’s nametag, “… Skip. I’d like to purchase this card and have it and this box delivered to 43 Carter Avenue, apartment 5C. Miss Lane will be the recipient. And I’d like for it to be delivered immediately.”
“Immediately, huh? Well, that will cost ya a little extra. See, I’m the only one in here this time of the night, and if I close shop, I hav’ ta charge ya extra, man,” ‘Skip’ explained.
“That will be okay, Skip. And I’ll even add a nice tip if you do it properly,” Clark answered while trying to prevent the youth from slacking off on this most important of missions.
“Sure, man, whatever ya say, man. So, with the card, the delivery, special hours extra charge, that’s gonna cost ya 53.95. But since I like ya face, man, I’ll make it round 50, okay?” Skip smiled, obviously hoping to get a bigger tip by giving this gracious discount.
Sighing inwardly, Clark forced himself to keep a smile on his face and paid the little extortionist with a fifty and a twenty. He would have liked to just tip him ten bucks, but given how he had no ten-dollar bills left, he didn’t want to press his luck by asking for change. He would just write it off as a fine for his misdemeanors and as an investment into the future. And if he looked at it this way, then he was certainly getting a bargain price.
“Hey, cool, man, a twenty. I’ll get right onto it, Mista!” Skip said while pushing Clark out of the shop so he could close up behind him.
>>This actually does look promising,<< Clark thought to himself as he trotted around the corner, ready to spin into his Superman costume. >>But I’m still going to make sure they get delivered all right.<<
**********
tbc
