Chapter 5 “Lois Lane’s Comeuppance”
Also that night, as Chloe and Jimmy exited the Daily Planet building, a work crew was
hoisting a billboard that read "Wake up to Daily Planet!" Directly below it, an elderly lady was walking with her very young granddaughter. One of the ropes holding the billboard broke, and it was dangling over their heads! Although the woman pulled her granddaughter to safety, the young girl dropped her teddy bear and ran back to get it. As the rope, snapped, Impulse quickly ran out and whisked the girl to safety. Soon, the other Justice League members emerged. Jimmy quickly began taking photos with his camera.
Chloe stepped forward. “I’d really appreciate it if I could get an interview,” she said.
*****
Meanwhile, Lois Lane arrived in a cab near the location that was indicated on the map. She looked up at a large sign that said “Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility.”
The cab driver turned to her and said, “This is as far as I go. You’re going to have to walk the rest of the way.” He held out his hand, and Lois reluctantly paid him.
She stepped out of the cab, and as it took off, she said to herself, “The Justice League chose this place for their secret hideout? I can’t believe that I am about to go in here.” She then reassured herself that she was about to get the biggest story of her life. “I just wish the stench wasn’t so awful,” she stated as she stepped forward. “And, why did I have to wear a skirt and high heels on this little trip,” Lois whined.
As she walked, she could feel the unpleasant sensation of slime squishing inside her shoes. When she stepped forward, she tripped, landing face first in a puddle of mud. She instantly wiped most of the mud off of her face using her sleeve. She stumbled forward, trying to stand up again, only to fall back into the mud. Finally, she got back on her feet.
“Ouch!” Lois yelled, smacking at a mosquito that had just bitten her. “OK Lois, just follow the map, and you’ll get your story,” she told herself, trying to reassure herself that this was a good idea.
She took a few steps forward, scratching at her mosquito bites, when the heel on her left shoe broke, causing the already dirty reporter to fall backwards into the mud. She sat up and ran her fingers through her now muddy hair. Then, she took off her broken shoe and stood up, choosing to walk while wearing only one high heel as the other hosed foot touched the mud.
As she limped around, Lois realized that she was lost. Lois scratched her leg with her bare foot while trying to make sense of the map.
The lost reporter wandered around the city dump all night, convinced that she would get her story when she figured out where she was. After hours of limping around the city dump, Lois realized it was morning. She desperately wanted to take a shower. Her hair, in addition to being covered in mud, was sticking up all over the place. She was completely covered in mud, sweat, and mosquito bites. She would probably never be able to get the smell out of her clothes. She was still holding her broken shoe in her hand, and her pantyhose were ruined, too.
Just then, Lois looked at the map again, and she realized that she was in the right place. She smiled and looked around, noticing a garbage bag that was sitting right in front of her.
“Whatever is in this garbage bag will tell me where to go next,” Lois assumed. She looked into the garbage bag and pulled out two objects, a letter and a Godzilla doll. Feeling proud that she was on her way to the secret hideout of the Justice League, she read the letter out loud to herself:
Dear Lois Lane,
If you have found this letter, and I am sure that you will, then I would like to inform you that you are not anywhere near the secret hideout of the Justice League. I hope that you enjoyed your WILD GODZILLA CHASE. From now on, don’t steal your stories from other reporters.
Lois looked at the letter with a confused expression. “Chloe!” Lois yelled angrily, realizing who had played this prank on her. She stuffed the Godzilla doll back into the garbage bag while she called herself a cab. Lois had just one thing on her mind: to get back to the Daily Planet so she could give Chloe a piece of her mind.
As the cab arrived, Lois was ready to get into it when the cab driver shook his head and yelled, “No! Are you nuts? I ain’t giving you a ride. You’re filthy. I don’t want all that mud all over this cab!”
As the cab took off, Lois moaned. She would have to walk to the Daily Planet! Unfortunately, this was going to be an extremely long walk, and after last night, Lois’ feet were quite sore.
*****
As she limped down the sidewalk, everybody made room for her to go past them, trying to avoid standing next to the smelly Lois Lane. By now, she was fairly close to her destination.
One woman waved her hand across her nose and said, “Pee-eww!”
An angry Lois shouted, “Yes, I know! I stink!” She continued to limp towards the Daily Planet, still scratching her mosquito bites.
As she entered the building, she saw some familiar faces. She was trying her best to ignore the pointed fingers and giggles. She stepped into a crowded elevator, staring at everybody as they quickly ran out of the elevator, trying to escape the odor. As she stood in the elevator alone, Lois herself could barely stand the smell.
*****
While Lois was in the elevator, Grant, Jimmy, Lana, and Clark were standing around Chloe at her desk.
"Sullivan, that's good work," Grant said, holding a copy of the paper with Chloe’s Justice League scoop on the front page. “Jimmy, great photos,” he added, acknowledging Jimmy’s hard work as well.
"Thank you, sir. I was just in the right place at the right time, I guess," Chloe replied.
"Well that's what being a good reporter's all about. You keep it up," Grant said.
Jimmy picked up the newspaper, reading a Green Arrow quote from Chloe’s article. "'Let there be no mistake, Metropolis is my home now, I am here to stay.' That
should make life pretty interesting."
"Yeah… but…. Where's the story behind the story, you know?" Lana asked. "Where's the juicy stuff? Where's the... the dirt?"
Chloe smiled as the elevator doors opened, pointing towards Lois. "I think that's coming in right now."
They turned to look at Lois Lane. As she walked towards her desk, she could hear the laughter of just about everyone in the room, and she noticed the startled faces and wrinkled noses of everybody that she passed.
"Lois, what happened?" Lana asked while giggling.
"Nothing. Nothing at all," Lois stated, trying to maintain her composure. Then, she suddenly turned around and yelled, "Oh! You're referring to my appearance!” A crowd was starting to gather. All eyes were glued to Lois Lane. "Well, I think that after hours of trudging through the mud and the filth and the frogs and the *things*, I have a perfect right to be a bit... disheveled." She scratched her head furiously and asked, "By the way, did you know that it is possible to get completely lost at the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility?" She started to get even louder as she scratched at her shoulder blade, adding, "And, did you know that there are billions of mosquitoes there? I do, because I *met* them!" She pointed to dozens of small red bites on her shoulder blade.
She finally reached her desk and threw the broken shoe down. "Of course my little trip to hell wasn't a total failure," she continued, holding up the garbage bag. "I found this!" She pulled out the plastic Godzilla doll, allowing everybody to see her discovery. The newsroom erupted in laughter as Lois stood there embarrassed. She quickly kicked off her other high heel and wriggled her toes before walking towards Chloe’s desk, trying to regain her dignity. She took the crumpled map out and held it up to Chloe. "You wouldn't happen to have any idea who sent me this, would you?" she asked.
Chloe just smiled back at Lois, enjoying her victory.
At that point, Lois finally noticed the newspaper. She picked it up off of Chloe's desk, noticing the words ‘Justice League’ in the headline and Chloe Sullivan's name in the byline. As Lois skimmed through the story, people in the crowd began to smile. "You got the story? You?" she asked, completely shocked by this news.
Chloe gave Lois a smug grin. "Yep. Consider this a life lesson, Lois. No charge," she said to Lois as she patted Lois’ cheek twice.
With everybody watching, Lois opened her mouth up widely, realizing that Chloe had just thrown her condescending remark back in her face. A thoroughly humiliated Lois moved her mouth slowly, trying to think of a comeback, but no words came to her mind.
“You…. um… uh… I… ahh… Well… Hum… uh… um… ooh,” Lois mumbled as she stared at her cousin.
“HaHa! Congratulate your cousin, Lois. It looks like you’ve been scooped,” Lana goaded Lois.
"Uh-huh," Lois said slowly, completely speechless. This prank had led her to a night at the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility, searching for a non-existent hideout, while Chloe had gotten an interview with the Green Arrow. Lois looked down at her bare feet and wriggled her toes again before walking backwards towards her desk. She continued to give Chloe a cold stare until she sat down.
Lois listened as everybody in the newsroom cheered. Now, Chloe was a big hero. Not only had she gotten the Justice League story, but she had gone head-to-head with the cocky Lois Lane and won! She had put a sock in Lois Lane’s mouth, leaving her speechless. Nobody had ever been able to leave Lois speechless in the past, shutting her up once and for all. Everybody felt that Lois thought she could chew up and spit out any reporter in the Daily Planet, but Chloe had chewed up Lois Lane and spit her out!
The defeated reporter tried to ignore Lana's giggle as she and the others examined the Godzilla doll and the map. She also tried to ignore Lana as she said, “Anybody who is stupid enough to think that the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility is the Justice League’s hideout deserves their fate.” Lois cringed as she thought about this embarrassing situation.
*****
Later that day, Lois was still sitting in her chair with her bare feet propped up on her desk. She hadn’t bothered to change into clean clothes. Her mind was wandering when Lana, who was on her way to the elevator, ran her finger up and down the sole of Lois’ foot.
“Eep!” Lois screamed as she laughed at the tickling sensation.
Lois flung her foot to the ground, and Lana quickly tickled Lois Lane’s other foot before walking towards the elevator, apparently finally ready to leave. Lois turned towards Chloe, who was finally alone at her desk. Lois stood up and slowly began to march towards her cousin. Chloe noticed that Lois was coming and slowly rose from her chair.
"You set me up?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.
"Yes, I did," Chloe admitted, wondering if she had gone too far with her prank.
"Congratulations, Chloe, you win." Lois held out her hand.
"I... I didn't win," Chloe said slowly. She didn’t want to beat Lois. She just wanted to teach her not to steal another reporter’s story ever again.
"Oh yes you did. You got the story, and you took me down a peg in the process," she admitted, smiling. "I guess I deserved that. You worked hard, and you earned your success."
"Thank you, Lois," she replied, smiling back at her cousin. "That means a lot to me."
"Well, I hope so. Cherish this moment, because, Chloe, you'll never experience this again," Lois added, regaining some of her cockiness.
Then, Lois turned around and began to walk away.
"Hey Lois," Chloe called after her. "What are you planning on doing, now?"
Lois turned back around. “Well, first, I have to throw away this outfit, and then, I need to take a very long shower to wash the horrible smell off of me. Afterward, I really need a new pair of shoes so Lana doesn’t tickle me again,” Lois answered while wriggling her toes and laughing a little bit.
Chloe laughed back at Lois and said, “Well, I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
Lois said “Yeah,” before adding, “And this time, I’ll get the Justice League story, but don’t worry, I’ll get the story myself. My story-stealing days are over.” Then, Lois stepped into the elevator, and as the elevator doors closed, even she had to laugh about Chloe’s prank.
To be continued...
