Here you go with a new part. I hope you'll enjoy.
Thanks to Tahu, Nancy and GuineaPants for their beta. And thanks to all of you who left the nice feedback.
Usual disclaimers apply...
TOC From Part 4: “…the dead body of a man has been found in Suicide Slum after the police had gotten a hint from a Metropolis’ citizen. The man isn’t yet officially identified, but according to a spokesperson of the local police department all evidence suggests that the body is Superman’s. The preliminary coroner’s report hasn’t yet been released, but a press conference is scheduled for noon, Metropolis time.”
Lois didn’t notice how the receiver slipped from her hands and fell to the floor. She just stood there, her mouth gaping open as the same pictures were repeated over and over again. The stretcher in the dark alley, the coroner’s van, an interview with a policeman… The news anchor tried to put the message into different words, but he still meant the same.
Superman was dead. ***
Separate Lives or Till Life Do Us Part
Part 5:Of course there was still the possibility that a look-alike had been found dead. But in the same sentence the news anchor mentioned this he confirmed that none of the registered doubles were missing. Some short film sequences that someone had dug out of the archive showed a healthy Superman flying over Metropolis. People were waving at him and yelling his name cheerfully as he landed with a broad smile.
‘It cannot be true,’ Lois kept repeating in her mind. ‘He cannot be dead, he is Superman. Nothing can hurt him.’
But Lois knew better. She had seen him in agony, lying on the floor of that hotel room, a bullet stuck in his shoulder. The calamitous glow of the green rock had made her realize that Trask‘s deadly crystal hadn’t just been part of the maniac’s imagination. She knew that Superman was much more vulnerable than most people liked to think.
“Oh, my God,” Clark breathed as he joined Lois.
He looked at the screen and wasn’t quite sure what shocked him more. First off, he recognized the alley. That was a rare thing in his current state. But despite this point he wasn’t happy about it. He felt like he had swallowed ice water as he saw the men carrying the stretcher. His stomach clenched painfully as the unemotional pictures revealed unmistakably what had happened to the stranger in the alley. It had been too late to rescue him. He was dead.
Clark couldn’t help to feel responsible. He should have tried harder to save him! He should have gritted his teeth against the pain! And he should have found the way back to him. A low voice in the back of his mind tried to remind Clark that he couldn’t be sure if the man had still been alive when he had been futilely searching for his pulse. Clark didn’t listen.
The pictures of this flashy colored man flying over the city were the second thing that took his breath away. Flying, for crying out loud! If it weren’t the breaking news he was watching, Clark would have thought that it was some unrealistic TV show about a superhuman hero guys like him weren’t fit to hold a candle to. Lois seemed to be equally thunder-struck; though Clark mused it was for slightly different reasons.
A faint sound of complaint came from the receiver that had miraculously survived falling to the floor. Slowly, as if Lois was awaking from a dream, she bent down to get it. She looked at it somewhat indecisively, at least from Clark’s point of view. After the guy at the other end of the line had cried out her name, Lois held the receiver towards her ear.
“Jimmy?” she asked and waited for his answer. The conversation was brief and single-sided. Clark could only see Lois nodding. Sometimes she muttered an affirmation. Then she said, “See you later,” and ended the call. Lois looked up at Clark, her face pale. He couldn’t tell if it was because of the news report or if it had been caused by something Jimmy had told her.
“We’ve gotta get ready,” she whispered hoarsely. “Perry needs us.” Her attention returned to the TV screen and she forced herself to watch, to face the truth. “I can’t believe it...” she muttered and in her mind she continued. ‘I can’t believe that we had this fight.’ Did he really have to die, knowing that she had turned him down like that?
Lois felt a strong hand on her shoulder, a thumb that stroked her soothingly. She leaned into the embrace Clark was offering her, glad about the comfort and distraction. In this moment she knew without any doubt that she had made the right decision preferring Clark over Superman. Perhaps she should have realized this from the very beginning. If she hadn’t approached Superman like she had, maybe he would still be alive.
“I should have been able to help him,” Clark said, his voice sounding hollow.
“You did what you could to help him.” Lois looked up at Clark. She had almost forgotten what Superman had meant to him. And that he had found him, possibly still alive. “You couldn’t have walked back to him. And even if we would have found him, could you tell for sure that we would have come in time?”
Lois knew that her words would never suffice to calm Clark. As far as she knew he had been friends with Superman, although she had rarely seen them together. Superman had stayed at Clark’s place during the trouble with the heat wave. Clark had had this strange connection to the hero, being able to get him whenever it had been necessary. Clark surely had never shared a dance with Superman, but that didn’t mean he was going to miss his friend any less than Lois would.
It suddenly dawned on her that they had actually lost him. The realization sank in slowly and left Lois almost unable to breathe. There was a huge lump in her throat and she pressed her face against Clark’s strong chest in order not to shiver too violently. He ran his hand slowly up and down her back, careful and tender. But Lois couldn’t have said who was steadying whom. Clark was just as shaky as she was.
“It’s not your fault,” Lois whispered. “If anyone is responsible, it’s me,” she added, her face buried in Clark’s shirt. She knew he wouldn’t be able to hear it, and honestly she didn’t want him to.
How could she ever have thought things would be so easy? Being forced to decide between Clark and Superman, Lois had suddenly seen connections where there had never been any. Finding Clark’s apartment abandoned had been just another part of the puzzle, something she had interpreted as she pleased. She had been convinced that he was off rescuing someone. She had felt a jolt of excitement, a silent hope that she didn’t need to decide after all, that she could get both men all in one
Lois’ troubled mind wandered back to the day when she had last met Superman. She had been certain that Clark and Superman were one and the same. There were so many things that were too weird to just be coincidence. Clark’s ability to get Superman any time he wanted. The way he protected his glasses, never taking them off to rub the bridge of his nose or anything like that. His eating habits, which should have made it impossible for him to look like Mr. Hardboy. Clark had even limped the day after Superman had been hurt by Johnny Corben.
A sleepless night or two Lois had wondered what she would do in case she was wrong. But finally, she had known that she wouldn’t regret choosing Clark over Superman. Her best friend was more important to her than Superman. With Clark she had shared the best and the worst hours and she couldn’t imagine living without him. But Superman had still remained in the back of her mind, particularly since he was all alone, while Clark had a family and friends.
Feeling that she couldn’t ask Clark to contact Superman for her, she had waited for the hero to drop by. He had come over when Lois hadn’t seen Clark for about one and a half days. It had been one and a half days of very many Superman rescues, just another coincidence that seemed to prove her point. She had already imagined what was going to happen, when she told Superman that she was in love with another man - Clark. He would instantly change into Clark and everything would be wonderful from then on.
Only it hadn’t been like that.
Instead of being happy, because she loved him - the real man underneath the suit - Superman had been angry and insulting. He had laughed, told her that she couldn’t mean this.
‘What can he offer you, Lois? Wouldn’t you love to fly with me? Clark can barely pay for an airline ticket!’ Superman had hissed at her. ‘You kissed me. How can you claim to be in love with him? No woman in her right mind would prefer a weakling like him over me.’
‘I *am* in love with Clark,’ Lois had replied defiantly, unsettled by his arrogant behavior. ‘I’m looking for more than a cheap way to fly. You mean more to me than that, Superman. But it is Clark I want to grow old with.’
‘If growing old is what you want, Lois, be happy with him,’ he had said viciously, laughing at her. Shouting a curse that she wasn’t going to repeat, Superman had flown away and Lois had remained in her apartment, trembling with surprise, shock and anger. If someone would have told her that Superman could ever react like that, she wouldn’t have believed it. Now she knew better. With a twinge of guilt Lois had to acknowledge that the memory of that fight wasn’t any less horrible than the fight itself. She didn’t know what had possessed Superman then. And she couldn’t bring herself to think that it had all been about jealousy. There had to have been more to it.
Lois had a closer look at Clark. He still seemed to be pretty tired and held his side as if it caused him pain. His beard had grown even more and without his glasses he didn’t really resemble Clark anymore. Seeing him like this, she felt bad for having told him about Perry. She knew Clark. He would go to the Planet if he was needed and he wouldn’t pay much attention to his current state. Lois thought back to the previous night, when he had been desperate to help someone else, though he had been in trouble himself.
“Are you okay, Clark?” Lois asked full of concern. She looked for any indication that she needed to make him go to bed again.
“How could I be?” he replied. “But what about you? This must be pretty tough. I know how much Superman meant to you.” Clark would have liked to close his eyes, afraid that she would see right through his weak disguise now. What if she told him that she hadn’t liked Superman at all and that she was pretty grateful for being rid of him now? He couldn’t be sure that he was actually able to interpret her reactions in the right way. But obviously his guess hadn’t been that bad. She nodded slowly.
“This is a catastrophe,” she muttered. “But you know that just as well as I do.”
Clark could see her eyes getting wet and the tears were threatening to run down her cheeks. Seeing Lois so sad made him feel completely helpless. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t really know how. Anything he could say seemed just so shallow and meaningless. He wanted to say something to help her. He wanted to keep from thinking about what he should have done, how he could have been more helpful. He had to realize that it was too late.
Lois noticed how pale Clark was. She wasn’t sure whether it was the shock of hearing about Superman or his injury. Either way, he probably wouldn’t be of much help. She didn’t want to hurry him back to the Planet as long as she wasn’t sure that he was really prepared for the tough job of finding out what had happened to Superman. He looked a lot better now than he had a few hours ago. But starting the hunt after a nice breakfast would still be soon enough, if she would take him to the Planet at all. She briefly thought about chasing the story on her own. He would need some rest in order to heal, but Lois suspected that leaving him alone would only serve to make him feel even guiltier about something he wasn’t responsible for.
Superman… Clark hadn’t said anything about meeting a jealous Superman. So surely Clark’s injury had nothing to do with Superman. This fear had kept nagging her from the moment she had found Clark, dirty and tattered. Lois wondered if the injured man Clark had found in the alley had been Superman. On the other hand, how many injured people had possibly lain in Suicide Slum that night? But why would Clark wake up next to Superman? It made no sense, but Lois didn’t want to worry about that. As long as the two men in her life hadn’t fought an unfair battle, she was happy. The mere idea that Superman might have done something cruel to Clark because of jealousy had frightened her to no end.
“Clark, what happened in the alley?” Lois asked the question that had still remained unanswered. “What happened between you and Superman?” she specified, hoping to find her apprehension baseless.
“Lois, I didn’t even know it was Superman,” Clark replied. “My memory is kind of hazy when it comes to the alley.” He looked towards his feet, obviously uneasy with the subject of their conversation. “Shouldn’t we get ready now? I believe Perry needs us.”
“Of course.” Lois nodded, but otherwise didn’t move.
She had never felt less eager to get back to the Planet, even though her partner was back again. The Mad Dog Lane part of her wanted to start investigating; wanted to be too busy to think about the man she had lost. But there was also the part of Lois that was afraid that Superman’s death would become even more real than it already was.
“Of course we should get ready,” Lois whispered hoarsely and still remained where she was. A tear rolled down her cheek. “We should...”
“Shh, it’s okay, Lois,” Clark said, running his hand across her back soothingly. “It’s okay to cry.”
Suddenly Lois was in his arms. Clark didn’t know if this had been his intention when he had laid his hands on her shoulders. If so, it had been unconsciously. Lois gladly leaned into his embrace. She rested her head on his chest and trembled in his arms as the waves of sobs washed over her. He felt her slender frame pressed against him and a trail of hot tears ran down his chest. Clark gently kneaded the tight muscles of her neck, hoping he could ease them a bit. As Lois stood so close to him, Clark couldn’t ignore any longer that she was wearing nothing but a top and panties while his chest was still bare. It caused an odd feeling of excitement in him, though he knew it was the wrong time and place for anything like that.
For a while they were standing in Clark’s living room, unmoving but for the assuring caress they were offering each other. Both were sure that the other was suffering even more than they themselves were. And while Lois kept crying and sobbing now and then, Clark felt nothing but emptiness. It was bad for him to have lost someone he thought he could have helped. Thinking of what Lois had told him, he had lost a friend. But he couldn’t miss someone he had met only once, lying on the street and covered with blood.
Lois couldn’t help but notice that not only grief was washing over her. There was also something else and that almost scared her. How could she feel so comfortable in Clark’s arms in a situation like this? Superman deserved enough respect that she should be doing nothing but mourning him right now. He had been her friend for two years and in the whole time he hadn’t let her down. Whatever had happened to him to change his attitude, she was sure he wasn’t responsible. But her thoughts weren’t only with Superman.
She enjoyed the feeling of this strong chest against her skin and again she inhaled his scent. His hands were stroking her back soothingly, stilling her shivering body with slow, assertive moves. Lois felt oddly safe despite the fact that the world seemed to be falling apart. It was as if nothing mattered but the gentle man who held her. Her lips tingled with the surfacing memories of how it felt to kiss him. Lois hoped that Clark wouldn’t notice how she felt about him right now. She wanted to drag him back to his bed and kiss him senseless until they found oblivion in each other’s arms. It wasn’t right though.
“I’m sorry,” Lois muttered and pulled away from his embrace. “I shouldn’t… we shouldn’t…”
“Do you think he wouldn’t want us to offer each other comfort in a dark time like this?” Clark asked softly.
“But it’s not just that…it’s…” Her voice trailed off. She couldn’t tell him. Clark wouldn’t understand how she could be able to feel such longing for him in a moment like this.
“It’s what, Lois?” He wiped away the last remainders of the salty, wet trails along her cheeks. She seemed to be almost desperate as she wasn’t able to express her sadness anymore, her lower lip was trembling and in this moment she looked more like a child than the woman who had saved him a few hours ago.
“I… you…” Lois muttered, annoyed by her own inability to express her thoughts. “I shouldn’t feel so comfortable in your arms.” Guilty, she stared at the floor.
“Oh,” Clark replied and took a step back in order to have a better look at Lois. He reached out and lifted her chin, causing her to crack a weak smile. “That’s what you’re worrying about? That we might do something inappropriate?”
Lois nodded slowly. She flinched at how silly this sounded. Superman wouldn’t have minded her embracing Clark. Yet she couldn’t help her feelings. To make things worse Clark’s question only added to her uneasiness. Would he laugh at her now, would he tell her just how stupid she was? But he didn’t.
“You’re not the only one who is feeling awkward,” he said. “This isn’t any easier for me than it is for you. All I wanted to do is help you. If you need a friend, Lois, I’m there for you. I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” He gently moved his thumb over her lips and cupped her cheek in his palm.
Lois lifted her hand to cover his. “Thanks,” she whispered. “Thanks for being you, Clark. I’ve missed you so much.”
Clark swallowed hard as he felt the warmth of her touch and heard her endearing words. How was he ever going to face her again, if he didn’t tell her the truth, he wondered?. His heart missed a beat at the mere thought of admitting his lies. But he had to tell her, now or never. She would kill him if he kept his amnesia from her any longer. Just a few deep breaths and maybe he would muster enough courage to do the necessary.
“We’ve got to get ready,” Lois interrupted his thoughts. Her voice was unsteady, breaking away while she said the words. “That is, if you’re up to it.” She studied Clark once more and meaningfully glanced at the white bandage at his side.
“I’ll be fine,” Clark replied and nodded. “Perhaps we could take things a little slower today, and then I’ll manage just fine.” He felt like a complete fool. What was he doing? He should tell her certain facts. Instead he promised her something about managing and didn’t even know what he was talking about. What kind of job had he? Suddenly Clark remembered that Lois had mentioned The Daily Planet. The name sounded like it was a newspaper. Maybe they were reporters?
“Okay…” Lois said slowly and he could see her swallow hard. “We…we’ll find out who did this to Superman and why…” Her voice trailed off and she looked at him unsteadily. “I want to know why he was behaving so strangely in the last few days.” And why he was so jealous of Clark and me, she silently added. “There has to be something else,” she muttered hoarsely and cleared her throat.
“We’ll find out what happened, Lois,” Clark replied, feeling this was what she wanted to hear.
“You go and get dressed and I’ll prepare breakfast,” Lois confirmed and as Clark didn’t turn around to go to the bathroom she added, “I can do breakfast, really.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Clark stated. Slightly irritated he nodded and made his way to the bathroom.
Lois looked after him and wasn’t sure what to think. Clark loved to tease her about her non-existent cooking skills. Even if he was sad now, she would have thought to receive just a faint smile. But there had been absolutely nothing that resembled one of those heart-melting, girl-killing smiles. In fact he had sounded completely serious, which was rare for him. He wasn’t exactly goofy, but there was always something light-hearted about Clark. He liked a jest now and again, but whatever had happened to him in Suicide Slum seemed to have changed that. Or was it Superman’s death eating on him?
“Do you think you could tell me now where you’ve been during the last four days?” Lois asked, hoping to get him to talk. They wouldn’t be able to solve their difficulties, if he kept silent.
He didn’t answer her, didn’t even turn around. Lois wondered if he had even heard her, though her voice surely hadn’t been that low. She looked at the bathroom door that fell shut behind him and sighed. Ever since she had found him in that dirty street on the outskirts of Suicide Slum, he was behaving strangely. She didn’t know what had caused it, but she desperately wanted to have her Clark back, the man she knew like the back of her hand. It wasn’t as if Clark had changed strikingly. He basically was the same gentle man whom she had loved almost from the moment she had met him, even though she hadn’t realized that then. But something about him wasn’t the way it should be and Lois couldn’t help the feeling that he was keeping something important from her. Though, actually that wasn’t something new either.
About twenty minutes later, Clark still wasn’t ready. He had walked in and out of the bathroom repeatedly. Lois was already dressed and stood in the kitchen, impatiently waiting for him to come. But he couldn’t face her now. How was he going to explain something to Lois he wasn’t able to understand, hard as he might try? Clark stared into the bathroom mirror and sighed. He studied his beard and looked at the razor in his hand.
He had found it after searching his whole bathroom twice, and still he had almost missed it. Who hid his razor as if it were a pirate’s treasure? Besides, the razor was only useful for one purpose – committing suicide. The rusty blade would probably cause a sepsis without cutting even a single hair. Strangely, he looked like he had usually been shaving on a regular basis. But why was he still alive then? The answer should have been simpler, if he hadn’t already ransacked his bathroom as well as his bedroom. Where else might he keep a razor? In his kitchen perhaps, he wondered with a grim sense of humor. That had to be an interesting room. He would have to search it some time soon.
Clark stared at the guy who was looking back at him from the bathroom mirror and tried to figure him out. He didn’t have bandages, he probably shaved with the kitchen knife and he had been a close friend of flying heroes.
“Who are you?” Clark muttered and studied his face as if it would hold the answer. The mirror image didn’t reply. It just shot him a mocking glance.
All of the sudden the mirror seemed to crack in struck of lightning and for a brief moment Clark saw a dark room, narrow and dirty.
“It’s about time that I take over, don’t you think?” Someone next to him asked softly. “You’ve had your chance, now I’ve got mine.”
The speaker was dressed in blue and red. He was tall and impressive as he stood in front of Clark, who had to look up to see more than a pair of muscular legs. The man was grinning broadly, evilly.
He laughed cruelly and turned his back on Clark. “Have a nice death.” The vision was gone as suddenly as it had appeared. Left were only a vague memory and the sight of a still horribly unshaved man in the mirror. Clark blinked, but nothing changed. He could see only himself and the images he had seen in the mirror seemed to slip from his mind like water ran through a sieve.
“Clark?” Lois yelled from the kitchen. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” he replied and let out a frustrated sigh.
He wasn’t going to solve his beard problem easily, not, if he wanted to maintain his cover. And Lois wouldn’t buy that he didn’t know where his razor was. He had to think of something else. Clark threw the deadly blade away and straightened his shoulders to face Lois. He flinched as his side protested against the movement and then tried to pull a - no stupid questions about my beard - face. He wasn’t very successful, but decided that it would have to suffice to convince Lois. Clark turned around and made his way towards the kitchen, hoping to get some breakfast that would save the morning.
When Clark entered the kitchen, Lois furrowed brows indicated that his attempt at looking intimidating had obviously failed. She held out a mug of coffee and ran her hand over his jaw line. A pleasant shiver ran down his spine, but that was pretty much the only thing he was going to like, he thought grimly.
Lois raised one of her furrowed brows and shot a meaningful glance at the clock.
“Twenty minutes and you didn’t even shave?” she asked incredulously. “You know that I am the woman in this partnership, don’t you, Clark?”
Clark cleared his throat uneasily. “I… I wanted to try something new,” he stammered and cursed himself. No self-respecting liar would say something so stupid. The more he learned about himself, the worse it got. He obviously was a crazy adrenaline-junkie who got his kicks from shaving with an antiquity that had probably once been property of Thomas Jefferson – there really couldn’t be another reason why he had hidden it so well, could there? And moreover he was the worst liar the world had ever seen. Lois seemed to be used to his outrageous skills. She raised the other eyebrow and then furrowed her brows again until an adorable wrinkle appeared above her nose.
“You know, Jimmy, was talking about an earring. He didn’t mean…” she gestured towards his scruffily whiskered cheeks.
“You don’t like it?” Clark asked, trying to sound somewhat disappointed. At least he wasn’t a complete loss at managing that.
Lois shrugged in reply and grabbed the mug from Clark’s hand, drinking the rest of coffee and placing it in the sink. She gave Clark a soft prod towards the living room, muttering that the really needed to get to the Planet now. She wouldn’t tell him that he would still be gorgeous if he went in rags. She didn’t really mind the beard, though she would have preferred him without it.
“Hey, what about breakfast?” Clark protested.
“We’ll get something on the way,” Lois said mercilessly, though she would have liked to have some of the wonderful croissants Clark somehow managed to find in Metropolis. But they didn’t have time for culinary issues. Perry would already be fuming, Lois mused. He wasn’t exactly patient and with the biggest story since Superman had first appeared in Metropolis, he wouldn’t understand *that* explanation for their being late.
Lois noticed that she was turning into Mad Dog Lane again and felt sorry for it. She didn’t want to be difficult after Clark had just returned and wasn’t really his usual self. He was behaving strangely and a part of it was surely due to shock. Lois wasn’t sure though if shock explained everything. Clark was more distant than he had been before. She wouldn’t have expected that after several dates and a few wonderful kisses. Particularly since she had told him now she was in love with him, Lois wanted things to be different between them. Clark was friendly and caring, but there weren’t those loving glances anymore. Or he hid them very well. Lois was afraid the past four days could have destroyed something, but she didn’t dare trust her uneasiness. Maybe she was overreacting and there was a perfectly logical explanation for everything, something Clark hadn’t told her yet.
to be continued... Please review...
