This is the last part of the original story, so from the next part on, you'll get completely new stuff.
I need to thank Nancy, who corrected the story up till that part - well, most of it, anyway.
And I need to thank Tahu and GuineaPants for their beta.
Usual disclaimers apply. I hope you're going to enjoy this part.
TOC From Part 6:“We’re out of a few things and you’re the first one I met who is not running around frantically, so I thought I’d ask you,” the young man explained and did his best not to look at Lois, who didn’t seem to take this interruption well. Thus Clark hurried to sign the paper and was just handing it back to the guy, when all of the sudden Lois’ hand darted forward and grabbed it. She stared at his signature, her mouth gaping open in utter disbelief.
Lois awoke from her stupor and hurried over to Clark. The next thing he knew was that he felt two strong hands grab his sleeves. For a moment he thought she was going to slap him, but then she half pushed and half dragged him towards the door of the conference room. Everyone’s eyes were on them as Lois made him follow her. Clark felt his cheeks grow red with embarrassment. He wasn’t even completely aware what had happened, but somehow he must have given himself away. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been as mad at him as she obviously was now. Lois didn’t seem to care that the whole newsroom was watching the most recent drama. Most likely it was even more interesting than anything Clark could have told them. They were waiting for either of them to shout and their co-workers’ expressions turned to disappointment as they didn’t start a fight right there and then.
* * *
Separate Lives or Till Life Do Us Part
Part 7:Metropolis, Inspector Henderson’s office, about the same time Henderson stifled a yawn as he looked up from the file he had been reading for the past hour or so. He was tired, but he knew that he couldn’t even think about going to sleep before he had someone resembling a suspect. While there was a murder in Metropolis almost every other day, surely the victim had never before been as famous or as difficult to kill as Superman.
He knew that people were scared, because they had liked to believe that Superman was invulnerable. Superman’s death unsettled Henderson as much as any other citizen throughout Metropolis. But unlike many others, Henderson hadn’t forgotten that Metropolis had been there long before the hero had first appeared. Of course the city had been a better place ever since he had come to help. But the police would manage to deal with crime, like they had until two years ago.
A soft knock at the door interrupted Henderson’s thoughts. He looked up.
“Come in,” he said calmly, stifling yet another yawn.
A young sergeant opened the door and peeked into Henderson’s office. He harrumphed and looked rather pale, his voice just a soft whisper. Henderson didn’t understand a word, though he could see the sergeant’s lips move. He waved with a paper. Henderson was slightly astounded that the young man still managed to hold it in his hands, although they were trembling almost violently.
“What is it? I’m not that good at reading your lips,” Henderson asked good-naturedly. Normally, he wouldn’t have tolerated such a behavior, but in times like these, he chose to ignore it for the moment.
“We’ve found fingerprints that match those we found on the weapon Superman was sh...” the sergeant’s voice broke again and he held out the paper.
Henderson took it and studied the fingerprints that were printed on it. One belonged to the weapon; the other was taken from the archive. They were indeed identical. The specific lines were marked to make it easier to compare the two finger prints. Slowly, he nodded and his attention wandered to the name next to the print that had been in the archive. Henderson gasped.
* * *
Metropolis, the Planet’s conference room, the moment of truthThe door to the conference room slammed shut behind Lois. They were on their own again with no one to watch or listen. Lois studied Clark thoroughly and she didn’t actually try to hide her anger. She was literally fuming and Clark wouldn’t have been surprised when there would have been steam coming out of her nostrils. He bit his lip, aware that he should have told her earlier instead of waiting for the best moment to come. If it had been there, it had passed without him noticing it. And now it was too late.
“What’s this?” Lois yelled and pointed at the sheet with his signature.
“I… I,” Clark murmured perplexed. He hadn’t expected this would be about the sheet.
“Could you please explain this? Complete sentences are very much appreciated,” Lois said and there was nothing left of the amiable woman he had encountered this morning. Her eyes were gleaming threateningly and the sides of her nose were flaring with barely restrained anger.
“The boy just wanted to order some office equipment. Is the Planet this broke that we can’t even afford such minor stuff?” Clark tried to defend himself. Had he forgotten about something Perry had announced only recently? But why had the guy asked him to sign something he wasn’t authorized to sign?
“Don’t play fool with me!” Lois shouted. She darted her finger at him and closed the distance between them. “You’re going to tell me what’s the matter with you!” Her voice was barely above a whisper now but scary nonetheless.
Clark hung his head. “Lois, I’m… I’m sorry.”
“That is not an answer to my question,” she said. “What are you hiding? And don’t tell me there’s nothing, because you have all but left a message at the bulletin board.” She lifted the paper and pointed at his signature. Snorting, she continued. “*Seakay!* What did you think?”
“I wasn’t aware that…” Clark murmured hesitantly, still not sure what it actually was that had given him away. His name on a sheet of paper seemed innocent enough. Or wasn’t that his name?
Lois fought for her composure. “You weren’t aware that what?” Lois asked impatiently. “That *Seakay* isn’t your name?” Lois was not in the mood for silly jokes or yet another of Clark’s lame excuses. She started to say so when she saw the look on Clark’s face and saw him visibly shrink away from her. She was confused and there was a huge lump in her throat. She cursed the tears she felt in her eyes. Deafening silence filled the conference room and her partner’s face turned paler by the minute. Lois waited for she knew she couldn’t speak without giving away how badly this affected her.
“Lois, I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I... I...”
“Clark! *Please* tell me what’s wrong! And don’t you dare run out on me.”
Clark felt a strong impulse to run as fast as he possibly could and his fear was suffocating him. He sagged against the wall. “I... I’m not going to,” Clark replied weakly. “I… when I told Perry that waking up in that alley was all I remember, I meant it. I have no memory of what happened before that, *absolutely none*.” He closed his eyes and waited for her reaction, bracing himself not only for a storm but for a hurricane.
“You… what?” Lois asked incredulously and her voice cracked. “Kent, I’m not in the mood for hearing one of your lame excuses.”
“It’s not an excuse, Lois. I’ve come to realize that I’m not good at it,” he gave her a half-hearted, wry smile that faded instantly as he received a stern look. “Ever since you found me, I’ve been trying to get along somehow. It isn’t easy to make you believe I know everything about my past when I don’t.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asked, her brows furrowed with only the tiniest wrinkle indicating something like sympathy or understanding. Lois was indeed mad at him; there was no better way to put it. She was determined to weigh his every word, distrust written all over her face.
“I couldn’t,” Clark replied and was annoyed at how silly this sounded. “You were going to take me to a hospital. I was afraid without knowing why. All I felt was that I didn’t want to go there.”
“Do you really expect me to believe you?” Lois asked. Her arms were folded in front of her chest.
“Lois, I beg you to believe me!”
“Why should I?” Lois returned relentlessly. “Give me a reason to believe you and maybe I will. This story of yours is just way too ridiculous.”
She wanted to escape the room and get as far away from Clark as she could. At the same time it was as if someone had glued her to the floor. Inwardly, she hoped that Clark would come up with another excuse, something that didn’t sound like the weak storyline of an action movie.
“What I told you is true, Lois,” Clark said desperately. “What did I do to you that you have so little trust in me?” His voice was low, barely above a whisper. He didn’t really dare say anything. It was as if he had gambled away his right to defend himself. He tried to meet her gaze in a foolish attempt to make her give him a chance.
“What did you do?” she asked, sounding incredulous. “You keep standing me up without even trying to give me a good excuse. First you’re telling me something about a cheese of the month shipment and now you’re trying to make me believe that you’re amnesiac. You don’t trust me, that’s what you’re doing to me. You hurt me on purpose and I’m sick of it.”
Lois finally managed to turn her back on him. The tears in her eyes were breaking through her lines of defense and the last thing she wanted was to have Clark see it. With any other person she would have stormed out of the room by now, but with Clark she couldn’t.
Clark moaned like a hurt animal. His world was falling apart and there was nothing he could do about it. Cold beads of sweat were covering his forehead and his breathing had long since become shallow. He closed his eyes, afraid that Lois might leave.
“Don’t go,” he begged hoarsely and reached for her arm to hold her back. Lois shot him an excoriating glance that made him flinch.
“Let go of me,” she ordered needlessly. Clark had already drawn back his hand as if he had burnt himself.
“Please give me a chance, Lois,” he solicited.
“Then tell me the truth. Don’t lie to me for this once.”
“I’m not lying,” Clark replied and bent his head in shame. “I was trying to tell you about the amnesia when that guy asked me to sign that paper. I was scared to tell you because I was afraid that precisely this would happen.”
“It happens, because you didn’t tell me, Clark.” Lois pointed out and noticed that she was again able to use his first name. Calling him Kent had momentarily relieved her, because it was some sort of punishment. But it wasn’t going to help and moreover it caused her stomach to clench with guilt. “Anyway, why should Seakay be your last name?” Lois asked and noticed that her voice didn’t sound softer. Quite the opposite, her words were harsh and deep down inside she was sorry for it. Again, Mad Dog Lane raised her voice and her vow of love seemed to be forgotten. This wasn’t what love or even partnership was supposed to be like.
‘How can I speak about loving him, when I’m not even able to trust him?’ Lois thought, afflicted.
“I don’t know. The young man called me that and so I thought it was my name,” Clark replied with a helpless shrug.
“The young man? His name’s Jimmy. You should know that,” Lois said fiercely. She raised an eyebrow as Clark obviously refused to tell her another, better story. “It’s convenient that you’ve lost your memory, isn’t it?” Lois asked angrily and almost flinched as Clark grew pale. “It means you don’t need to tell me where you’ve been all this time,” she laughed bitterly. “You can keep hiding from me whatever it is that you won’t tell me. You even have a reason to refuse to commit to me without rejecting me! After all you don’t know me, do you?”
“It’s not convenient for me, Lois. I hate it,” Clark returned somewhat testily. He knew he was the bad guy in this scene, the evil liar. But that didn’t mean he had to swallow everything she was throwing at him. “Do you really think I enjoy that I don’t know who I am?” Clark whispered and closed his eyes. It hurt to be accused like this and Clark wondered what he had done to deserve this distrust. “I… I’m not afraid to commit myself to you,” he said nervously.
“How do you know?” she demanded sarcastically.
He was losing her. As nice as the day had started out, it had turned into a nightmare that he couldn’t wake up from. He was struggling for the words that could save him now, but his mind was blank and he realized that there was nothing he could say to make her believe him. He would have to solve this mystery on his own. The mere prospect made him dizzy and his breathing became rapid and shallow. Fear was getting hold of him and for a moment all hope was gone. His world had shrunk to the pair of brown eyes that was looking at him contemptuously. Clark wanted nothing more than to see Lois smiling. He wanted her to squeeze his hand assuringly, telling him that everything was going to be all right again. What would his life be like if he could never wake up to her kiss again?
“I love you,” Clark replied hoarsely.
Unconsciously, he loosened his tie. It felt like it was suffocating him, or perhaps rather his fear did. He knew it was the wrong thing to say, just like everything else. If Lois hadn’t believed him earlier, why should she now? It had to ring hollow, like a line from a bad movie with a stupid heroine, who only needed to hear the three magic words and everything was in apple-pie order. It wouldn’t be, because Lois wasn’t so shallow. And strangely, he loved her for it even more. Clark bent his head in shame.
“Oh my God,” Lois breathed.
With a frown, she realized that her heart cared about his words even if her mind wasn’t convinced by his declaration of love. It wasn’t an answer to her question, but yet, she hadn’t heard anything more honest than this. She didn’t know why, but a simple gesture, and not his words, were what made her ready to believe him. He had loosened his tie. He frequently fixed his tie in her presence but never had he loosened it. Her fierce expression faded and she gazed at Clark worriedly.
“You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?” she whispered as the realization sunk in.
Clark lifted up his head and the utter despair was replaced by hope that flashed across his face. A weak smile appeared on his lips and he breathed a sigh of relief. His shoulders straightened a bit and he didn’t look quite so small anymore. His look was still shy as if he didn’t believe the peace would last. He swallowed hard.
“Yes, it’s the truth, Lois,” he responded. “I didn’t shave because I couldn’t find my razor.” That explanation seemed pointless, but he didn’t want to hide anything, not anymore.
“That was just one of the odd things that occurred, Clark. Promise me that you won’t lie to me again. I can’t stand it when you’re lying,” Lois said calmly. She sounded hurt, as if this incident was only one more confirmation that Clark Kent lied regularly.
“I didn’t enjoy lying to you, Lois. I hate myself for it. I’m sorry I did this to you. You didn’t deserve this, not after helping me so much. When you found me in Suicide Slum, I was so afraid I could barely breathe. And I’m not sure why, but I just *couldn’t* let you take me to the hospital. I should have trusted you with this. But I just couldn’t. Please forgive me.” He glanced at her, his eyes begging for her to understand him, to believe him.
Lois was torn. She felt her anger diminish at the sight of him. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to know that he wasn’t like all the other men she knew. But Mad Dog Lane wasn’t willing to give in so easily. For weeks if not months she had listened to excuses, every new one weaker as the previous. Mad Dog Lane still thought that Clark’s amnesia story was nothing but a new attempt to escape commitment.
“No more secrets, Clark. I mean it!” Lois said sternly. “Or you’ll learn what it means to incur the wrath of Lois Lane.”
“No more secrets, I promise,” Clark replied quietly.
“And what are we going to do now?” Lois wanted to know and breathed an audible sigh.
Now that her rage was abating, she felt worn out and again all the pain of the morning swept over her, threatening to drown her. She collapsed on a chair and buried her face in her hands. Lois wasn’t sure she could do what Perry had asked her to do. However professional she was at other times, she certainly couldn’t be objective when it came to Superman. Truth be told, she wanted to just sit there and cry, even though she would hate herself for it. Lois Lane didn’t wail. She was a fighter.
But Lois had cried her heart out when she had thought that Clark was dead after Dillinger had shot him. Those had been the worst days in her life and the days to come would surely measure up to them. She couldn’t hope for a miracle this time. Superman was dead.
She felt a warm and reassuring hand on her shoulder. A strong thumb was caressing her so tenderly that Lois felt her tension slacken. The unbearable pain however remained. The pressure of the hand on her shoulder increased and she heard Clark taking a seat right next to her.
“You really liked Superman, didn’t you?” he asked softly.
“Ye…yes,” Lois whispered, interrupted by a sob. “He was the kindest man you could think of. He wasn’t just pretentious about his superhuman powers, he really cared.” She paused, then said, “But you liked him, too. He was your friend - maybe even more yours than mine. I...” she harrumphed. “I never really understood how you could mean more to him than I did. When he first appeared in Metropolis, I fell for him like a teenage girl. I admired him and thought it was real love. I even imagined how life would be if only he returned my feelings. And sometimes I thought that he did.”
“I’m sure he cared for you. A lot,” Clark said reassuringly and continued to caress Lois. He was glad that she didn’t flinch anymore, that she let him touch her. He felt her shudder with every sob that escaped her from time to time. Being this close to her had become Heaven again, when only moments before it had been Hell. Clark wondered if life with Lois consisted of these stark ups and downs. It surely wasn’t boring.
“How would you know?” Lois asked and her brows furrowed again as she raised her head and looked at him. But the threat that had earlier been inherent in this gaze had faded.
“You’re right, I don’t *know*,” he admitted. “But how could a man not care for you? You’re strong and courageous and beautiful.” He paused and took in a deep breath, before he continued to speak, “I’m really sorry, Lois. I shouldn’t have done this to you. I know that maybe you can’t forgive me anytime soon and I would understand if you need time. But please don’t shut me out. Yell at me, beat me up, but don’t leave me alone. You’re the only person on this planet I know and I couldn’t stand to lose you.”
“You’re not making it exactly easy to love you, Kent. Do you know that?” Lois said and ran her hand through his hair. It caused a pleasant shiver to run down his spine. For the first time since they had entered the conference room she didn’t sound mad at all. She even glanced at him in a way that could have been mistaken for loving. But Clark didn’t dare expect that much, he was lucky that she hadn’t taken his head. Her use of his last name however had sounded almost affectionate. And her gesture substantiated that impression.
Clark nodded in reply and his lips twitched in a faint smile. “But you do?” he asked shyly.
Lois looked at him and rendered Clark breathless at how beautiful she was even when her eyes were swollen from crying. She seemed to study him as if she hoped to find the answer in his eyes. For a while she didn’t move and Clark began to wonder if she would ever speak again. It was as if time was standing still, forever waiting for her nod that would tell him that everything was all right again.
“Well, you don’t make it easy to hate you either,” she replied with a frown and fell silent for a while. “Heaven knows why, but I love you,” Lois added after an eternity. And then she leaned in and her lips met his in a brief kiss that sent jolts of electricity through Clark’s entire body. “Don’t ever lie to me again,” Lois muttered against his lips.
“Never again,” he vowed and once more closed the distance between them.
Her lips were warm and softer than anything he could ever have dreamed of. They tasted salty, moistened by the trail of tears that had run down her cheeks. Clark gently licked the saltiness away, leaving just the sweet taste of pure Lois, chocolaty and incredibly addictive. He felt her teeth against his lower lip, nibbling softly but with the hunger of a woman who was trying to strengthen a special bond between her and her love, one that would keep her safe from ever being lied to again.
Lois had her eyes closed, savoring the passion of a man who had been about to lose her. In his kiss lay gratefulness and adoration and the shy moves of his tongue were testament to his fear and her power. However helpless Lois had felt as she had realized that Clark had been keeping something important from her, it slightly scared her now to sense the remnants of panic that had coursed through Clark. Every gently stroke of his tongue seemed to plead with her to forgive him and Lois knew that there wasn’t much she could do to resist him, even if she had wanted to do that.
Suddenly Lois pulled back and sat straight. She wiped away her tears. Determination was written all over her face and her stern expression warned anyone to mention her moment of weakness. She visibly fought for control and Clark knew better than to question her behavior. He had no idea why he knew that, but most of the time it did no good to push unpleasant feelings away. They tended to hurt all the more.
“We should start with filling you in on what has happened in the past four days,” she said matter-of-factly and there was not much in her voice that reminded Clark of the desperate Lois that he had encountered earlier.
“Henderson wants to meet the two of us. He told me to come to his office at three p.m,” Clark repeated, remembering the phone call that had caused them to sit in this conference room. “I can tell that he’s annoyed, because he had to search for us all morning. He thought you had taken me to a hospital. By the way, I still need to thank you for not doing that.”
Lois pulled a face. “You better not thank me Clark. I still think you should have seen a doctor. You’ll have to explain that one to me as soon as you remember.”
“I will,” Clark promised. “What are we going to do about us now that you know, Lois? I mean that I don’t remember anything before I met you in that alley.”
“What we’re going to do?” Lois asked hesitantly. “Well, honestly, I have no idea. It’s not as if I knew exactly what you wanted. I was still waiting for you to tell me how you imagined things would go on. You didn’t seem eager to commit and always ran out on me when we had to discuss something important. And then there was Dan Scardino. I had to come to terms about my feelings. If it helps you, I decided that I want to spend my life with you. But I couldn’t tell you, because you were gone when I visited your apartment. But concerning us, I don’t think now is not the best time for you to make any decision. As much as I wish you would.”
She blushed and lowered her gaze to the floor. Gone was the tough reporter and for a moment Clark could see the vulnerable Lois. A little guiltily he rested his hand on her shoulder. He couldn’t remember that he had hurt her back in the days she was speaking about. But he couldn’t stand seeing her so sad, particularly when he knew it was his fault.
“I’m sorry, Lois,” he said quietly. “I’m sure you imagined this day differently. I was back and now you realize that I’m not, at least not for real. You’re right, I can’t make a decision right now and moreover I don’t dare make any promises now. All I can say is that I was attracted to you from the moment I almost ran into your car. I… I like you, very much. And whatever reason a Clark Kent with memory has to push you away, I’m sure it’s a good one. The possibility scares me, though, that I might be wrong there. Maybe Clark Kent is just an idiot.”
“You’re not speaking of yourself in the third person, are you?” Lois asked with a frown.
Suddenly the door to the conference room flew open and Jimmy stormed in.
“You need to see that, or you won’t believe it!” he exclaimed breathlessly and waved at Lois and Clark to follow him back to the newsroom. Several of their co-workers were standing at the windows and stared down to the streets below. Obviously there was again something interesting interrupting the routine work that rarely brought any valuable results. Lois knew that everyone was waiting for the press conference. Until then no new information would be released. Thus people were stuck in their work and whatever could distract them was welcome. The excited viewers started murmuring and soon there was a heated discussion going on. Curiously, Lois and Clark stepped closer to find out what had caught their colleagues’ attention.
to be continued...
