PREVIOUSLY...
“You know, you sort of scared me that day,” Lois said. “I wish I’d known what the problem was. But you’re behavior... It was a little stalkerish. It made me realize just how little I knew about you - in spite of this unexplained feeling I kept having whenever I was around you.”
Clark nodded. “I did think of calling you to apologize, but... I guess I was fairly convinced by then that you wouldn’t want to hear from me again - not even to apologize. And I wasn’t sure what I could say to explain my behavior. Anyway, that was when I started seriously dating Mayson. I was just so desperate to connect with someone. And so when she started asking me out...” He shrugged. “I guess I didn’t have the strength to say no.”
“And that was when I started seriously dating Dan. For much the same reason.”
AND NOW...
* * * * * * * * *
Chapter Twenty-Eight
* * * * * * * * *
Lunch ended up being a quiet affair. Both Lois and Clark were lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts they weren’t overly anxious to share. Memories of the first couple of months following Clark’s encounter with the red kryptonite.
Clark frowned down at his stake sandwich and fries as a particularly vivid memory hit him.
**“So do you want to come in?”
Clark was about to turn down her offer, just as he had every other time she’d invited him in after a date, only to hesitate. How many times could he decline before she started to think something was wrong?
“I just don’t want the evening to end,” Mayson said, sounding as if his non-rejection had given her a small amount of hope that this time he wouldn’t refuse.
He swallowed hard. They’d been dating, fairly regularly, for the last couple of months. And he enjoyed her company. But when it came to the end of the date... he hadn’t been able to move things past a quick goodnight kiss at the door. In fact, in most cases, she had been the one to initiate those kisses.
Not that Mayson would have minded if he had taken things further. On more than one occasion, he’d seen the frustration in her eyes when he’d pull back and say goodnight. Exactly how long could he expect her to wait for him to deal with his demons? Surely it was only a matter of time before he’d frustrate her so much that she’d walk away.
And right now, he needed her. He knew that didn’t sound particularly romantic, or even noble. But he just so desperately needed to connect with someone. And Mayson was nice. He liked her. He enjoyed her company. The only problem was she wasn’t... He cut off the name before he even allowed himself to think it. It wasn’t fair for him to be thinking about another woman while he was with Mayson.
And really, if he did go home tonight, wouldn’t he just spend the rest of the night thinking about she whose name he would not think? Was that really what he wanted - especially when a beautiful woman desired his company?
“Well, maybe for a little while,” he said, trying to push his concerns aside. Just because Mayson had invited him in didn’t mean that she was expecting... anything.
Mayson’s resulting smile made him hesitate - or maybe she was. Maybe going in was not such a good idea. Still, he was committed now.
“Great!” She opened the door to her apartment and he followed her inside.
‘Come into my parlor,’ said the spider to the fly. The saying echoed around in Clark’s mind as he stepped over the threshold, closing the door softly behind him. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears.
“What did you say?” Clark asked when he realized the hammering in his ears had drowned out Mayson’s words.
“I wanted to know if you’d like a glass of wine. I have a very nice merlot from France. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”
“Sounds good,” Clark responded, wondering suddenly just how ‘special’ she expected this occasion to be. Damn, what was wrong with him? With... someone else, all of this had been natural. In fact, with hindsight, maybe he’d been a little too eager to make love to... her. Jumping into bed with no thought about the consequences - and he’d been paying for it ever since.
On the other hand, maybe that was the problem. Maybe his hesitancy was not about him having feelings for someone else. Maybe his knowledge that ending up in bed too soon could lead to disaster was holding him back. After all, he didn’t have feelings for... anyone else. No. Obviously not. That would be ridiculous. He was over... anyone else. His hesitancy was just a consequence of having a previous disastrous experience. Nothing else.
“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable?” Mayson said, gesturing to her living room even as she walked to the kitchen.
Clark nodded. As she disappeared into the kitchen, he plopped down onto the couch. Comfortable. Yes, definitely comfortable. That’s what he was. Very, very comfortable. He looked down at his hands, watching them fiddle as if looking at foreign objects. He changed positions, laying his arm across the back of the couch. Yes. Much more comfortable.
“Why don’t you see what’s on television?” Mayson suggested from the other room.
Oh. Good idea. Reaching over, he picked up the remote and turned on the television, absently flipping through channels until he happened on one playing international news.
“Not exactly romantic,” Mayson said, handing him a glass of wine as she took a seat next to him.
“Huh?”
She gestured to the television.
“Oh, if you want...”
“No. The news is fine. Guess that’s one of the down sides to dating a reporter,” she said, bumping against his shoulder to let him know she was teasing.
When she didn’t move away again, he shifted uncomfortably.
“What’s wrong, Clark?”
“Nothing.”
She seemed to study him for a moment, but then turned her attention back to the television, obviously deciding not to pursue whatever was on her mind.
Okay, well, the appropriate move here would be for him to put his arm around her. He felt as uncomfortable as a teenager as he moved his arm onto the back of the couch, behind her shoulders. He had to fight the urge to yawn while he did so. That would be just too cliche.
“Mmm... This is nice,” Mayson murmured, snuggling up against him.
Yes. This was nice. This was what he wanted, after all - someone to snuggle up with in front of the television after a long day. And this was nice. Yes. Nice was definitely what this was.
His attention was directed to the television. A volcanic eruption near a small village on an island in the Pacific. He felt himself tense, wishing there was something he could do to help.
His attention shifted abruptly when Mayson began tracing an abstract pattern on his upper thigh.**
Lois’ thoughts were currently heading in a very different direction.
**“I can’t go out tonight, Dan. My mother is coming to town and she wants to have supper with Lucy and me.”
“Great!” Dan said. “I’d love to meet your family.”
Dread rose in Lois’ chest. “Oh, you don’t want to do that. Really. I don’t expect it. And, trust me, I can think of lots of things you might want to do that would be much more fun. Having a root canal comes to mind. In fact, why don’t I call a dentist and book one for you right now?” As she spoke, she picked up a phone book.
Dan laughed, taking the phone book out of her hands. “It’ll be fun,” he said, setting the book down. He took her hands, turning her until she was forced to meet his eyes. “I’d love to meet your family.”
Oh, god. Did he have the faintest idea what he was saying? Dealing with her mother and Lucy in the same room would be bad enough. Her job at such meetings was to keep the peace. Having to deal with Dan, too... Just the thought sent chills down her spine.
Dan laughed. “Hey, lighten up. That’s your problem, Lois. You take things too seriously. So... what time am I picking you up?”**
“Do you want some fries?” Clark asked.
“Huh... Oh... Uhh... No.” Absentmindedly, Lois picked a fry off his plate and dipped it in ketchup. Even before she’d finished eating it, she was again lost in thought.
**Lois had gone through at least a dozen changes of clothes getting ready for tonight. Deciding what to wear on a date was always a nightmare. Deciding on what to wear when meeting her mother for supper was even worse. But trying to juggle the two together... now, that was best described as navigating shark infested waters in a leaky dingy during a thunder storm. How was one expected to survive?
She had just made her choice when Dan picked her up to take her to the restaurant where they were to meet her mother and Lucy.
Ellen Lane was taking a sip of wine when Lois first spotted her at the table. Lois immediately took a steadying breath. Obviously, her mother had already started drinking.
“Oh, Lois, you made it,” Ellen said. “I was thinking I’d been aband... abandoned by my daughters. After bringing you into the world, I would think the least you could do is to meet me once in a while for supper. I mean, it’s not as if I came to town and expected to stay with you or anything. I got a hotel room. Is it really too much to expect my daughters to want to see me occasion... occasionally?”
“I’m only a few minutes late, Mother,” Lois said in exasperation. “I wouldn’t call that abandoning you.”
“Well, at least you didn’t do what Lucy did,” Ellen said. “She called the restaurant and simply left a message that she wasn’t going to make it. I mean, really, not to even tell me in person! Can you believe that ungrateful child?”
Lois sighed. She almost wished she had Lucy’s chutzpah when dealing with their mother.
Still, maybe if Lucy had been there, things wouldn’t have gone the way they did. Lucy could have taken her share of the burden in dealing with their mother. Or maybe things would have been different if Ellen Lane hadn’t started drinking again because of that incident with Kent.**
Lois hesitated in her thoughts. What incident with Clark? And how did her mother fit into it? Lois knew she should know. She could feel it pulling on the edges of her brain. But like most thoughts that won’t come when one searches for them, it seemed the harder she concentrated, the more evasive the thought became.
Sighing, she allowed herself to get lost, once again, in the memory.
**Or maybe if Ellen hadn’t already started downing the wine when she thought she’d been ‘abandoned.’ Maybe if any of those things hadn’t happened, things might have been different. As it was...
“Who... Who are you?” Ellen demanded, finally noticing the man with Lois.
“Mother, this is Dan Scardino. He’s my...” She hesitated briefly, not entirely certain how to classify Dan.
“Boyfriend,” Dan said, stepping forward to shake Ellen’s hand.
Ellen didn’t seem to notice the hand as she checked Dan up and down, an obviously disapproving frown on her face.
“Why don’t we all sit down?” Lois said, taking her seat and encouraging Dan to join them.
“So Dan, is it?” Ellen said as Dan took his seat at the table. “What exactly is it... What do you do?”
“I work for the D.E.A. I’m one of their agents.”
“Sounds like dangerous work. Do you really think you can afford to have a relationship in that line of work? Isn’t that a little irre... irresponsible? After all, what happens if you have a wife and kids and then somethin’ happens to you? I was aban... aban... My husband left me with two small kids and a mortgage - and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. Now he didn’t die, although that might have been easier...”
“Mother!”
“Well, it would have been,” Ellen said unrepentant. “At least there would have been life insur... life insur... money to raise you and your sister. God knows I could have used it. Not that it would have helped in dealing with two young children... And God also knows that you and your sister weren’t easy to raise. But at least there would have been money. Do you have life insurance, Dan?”
“It’s part of the benefits the agency gives its employees,” Dan answered. “So yes, Mrs. Lane, I do have life insurance.”
Lois looked at the half empty glass of wine in front of her mother and for a moment was tempted to pick it up and down the contents. Only the knowledge of who her drinking companion would be kept that impulse at bay.
“So how much does a D.E.A. agent make?” Ellen continued.
“Mother!” Lois said again, turning about five shades of pink.
Fortunately, just then the waitress came over. Lois felt the weird impulse to hug the woman and beg her to stay... or better yet, to swap places.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” the waitress asked while handing Lois and Dan their menus.
“Just water,” Lois said, eyeing her mother’s wine warily. Just how much had her mother had before they arrived? The glasses must have been removed - because her mother’s gestures and speech patterns told Lois that she was already half smashed. Either that, or she’d been drinking before coming to the restaurant.
“I’ll have a scotch and water,” Dan said.
The waitress nodded and left, leaving Lois staring wistfully after her.
“So you drink?” Ellen asked Dan.
“Sometimes.”
“And just how often is sometimes?” Ellen asked. “Because, you know I used to be an alcoholic. I know just how easy it is to drink too much. Fortunately, I got better. Now I know my limits.”
Lois rolled her eyes.
“Of course, my daughter thinks I don’t know... know my own limits,” Ellen said, glaring disapprovingly at her daughter. She turned her attention back to Dan. “So... do you know your limits? Because I think my daughter has a right to know.”
“I know my limits, Mrs. Lane.”
“I hope so,” Ellen responded as if not convinced. She turned to her daughter. “So do you really know this man? I thought I knew your father. He was a brilliant doctor and I was his loyal nurse. But it turned out I didn’t know him at all.”
“That’s the point of dating, Mother. To get to know each other.”
“Hmph,” Ellen said, but whatever comment she might have wanted to make was interrupted by the waitress returning with their drinks and to take their orders.
The conversation continued much the same as Ellen ordered a bottle of wine for the table during the main course - most of which she polished off herself. So Lois could hardly blame Dan for what happened during desert. Whether he was joking or not, trying to lighten the mood, Lois was afterwards not exactly certain. Or had the normally laid-back man finally reached his limit? She could hardly blame him if the second option were true.
“So what are your intentions towards my daugh... daugh... Lois?” Ellen asked.
“Well, at the moment, my intention is to get your daughter into bed,” Dan replied casually. “If that goes well... who knows.”
The silence that followed his comment was deafening. If Lois hadn’t been worried about making a scene, she probably would have crawled under the table.
Instead... “Okay, well...” Lois wiped her mouth with her napkin before placing it on the table. “This has been nice, but I think it’s time...”
“And just what is that suppose... supposed to be, young man!” Ellen said. “Humor?”
Dan let out a breath. When he spoke again, he sounded much more conciliatory. “Look, Mrs. Lane...”
“I’d like to talk to my daughter alone, Mr. Scardino. I think you’ve worn out your welcome.”
Lois rose to her feet. “If Dan goes, so do I.”
Mother and daughter stared at each other for a moment in a silent battle of wills.
“I’ll wait outside,” Dan said softly, ending the confrontation.
“No, Dan, I’ll come...”
“Talk to your mother,” Dan said. Then, after a brief look at Ellen Lane, he leaned in, giving Lois a very chaste kiss on the cheek.
Lois watched as Dan went to pay the bill - although she determined at that moment that she would pay him back. There was no way he should have to pay for this debacle. Finally, she turned back to her mother. “What?”
“Lois, sit down.”
Lois simply raised her eyebrows.
“Okay, you want it straight up? Fine. I don’t like that young man. And I forbid you to see him any more.”
Lois snorted. It wasn’t very lady-like, but she couldn’t help it. The very idea of being ‘forbidden’ by her mother to do anything... Her mother hadn’t been able to keep her from doing anything when Lois was a teenager. What made her think she could do so now?
“I hope you’re planning to take a taxi back to your hotel,” Lois said instead of responding to her mother’s comment.
“I know what I’m talk... talk... saying,” Ellen said. “That man can not be trusted. He only wants one thing from you.”
Lois fought the urge to roll her eyes again. “I know what I’m doing, Mother.”
“I just hope you’re not sleep... sleep... having sex with him.”
“If I were, do you think he’d be talking about trying to get me into bed? Of course, I can’t speak for what might happen after we leave here tonight. After all, I’m going to have to try to think of some way to make it up to him for...” She gestured towards her table where the disaster had occurred. “...this.” She couldn’t help it. She really couldn’t. The opening had just been too good to resist.
“Lois Joanne Lane! How dare you...”
“I was just joking, Mother,” Lois said, instantly contrite as she found herself taking the first steps in the dance her mother had forced her to practice since she was a child. Either she could apologize now, or apologize later. Apologizing now was easier. “And I’m sorry. Just so you know, Dan was joking, too. I’m sorry, but I have to go. He’s waiting for me.”
As she walked to the car, she found that she could only be grateful she wasn’t trying to introduce her mother to Kent. After all, if this was how she responded to Dan, Lois figured her mother would likely kill Kent if Lois were ever foolish enough to show up with him. It was just as well that her mother would never know about that particular momentary insanity.
Still, when she got out to the car, Lois hesitated.
“What is it?” Dan asked.
“I just think...” She gestured to the door of the restaurant.
Dan nodded. “Go. Your mother needs you.”
Lois sighed. Still, it was true. If she didn’t make sure her mother got safely back to her hotel room and something happened... Lois knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself.
She leaned forward, giving Dan a quick kiss. “I’m sorry about... everything. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“You better,” Dan said with a grin.**
“Clark, I think I might have just remembered something important?” Lois said, snapping Clark out of his thoughts.
“Hmm?” Clark responded.
“Well, apparently in this reality, my mother started drinking again.”
“Oh, no,” Clark said softly, giving her arm a sympathetic squeeze. “Any idea why? After all, that might help us figure out what we did to change the past?”
Lois let out a breath. “Well, it seems... Now, don’t take this the wrong way but it seems it might somehow be connected to some incident concerning you.”
“What? But in this reality I haven’t even met your mother, have I? I mean, in our reality, I can remember meeting her after Luthor committed suicide. But in this one...” He gestured helplessly.
“I don’t understand it either, Clark. But... I don’t know. I just mentioned it because I was hoping it might trigger some memory for you.”
Clark shook his head. “But...”
“But...?” she prompted when he didn’t continue.
“Well, I’m just wondering if we could get some information from your mother. I’m sure that you could find a way to probe without... giving anything away.”
Lois was shaking her head by the time Clark finished.
“What?”
“It’s just... the memories I have of her... the way whatever happened affected her... I just don’t think it’s a good idea involving her in this. I think it might... I don’t know... send her on a binge or something.”
Clark wasn’t entirely sure he understood. But then, he had no memory of Lois’ mother in this reality. Nor did he remember what Ellen was like when she drank in his reality, so he’d have to rely on his wife for this. And if she didn’t think approaching her mother was a good idea, he’d have to trust in her judgment.
Lois bit her lower lip and then looked up at him. “I suppose we should be getting back to the Planet,” she said.
Clark nodded and stood up, automatically pulling out the back of her chair to allow her to rise as well. By the time they left the restaurant, Clark was again lost in thought.
**Things had calmed down slightly since Clark had reached over, taking Mayson’s hand, stopping its exploration. He hoped that Mayson read it as nothing more than a desire to hold her hand and so, to cushion the blow, he allowed his arm to slip off the back of the couch and around her shoulders before pulling her closer.
Seeming satisfied, she sighed softly, resting her head against his shoulder.
And so as they sat for a while, Clark began to relax. This really was nice. He looked over at the woman at his side. She raised her head to meet his eyes. She really was beautiful, and the softness in her eyes... Leaning in to kiss her was natural.
Their lips met in a sweet caress, which quickly turned to two. It was nice, pleasant. Her lips were soft. She tasted faintly of wine. Clark moved back in for a third kiss. Distracted, he didn’t notice that her hand had escaped his grasp. When it landed on his thigh as she moved closer for a fourth kiss, her hand was a bit too high for Clark’s comfort.
“Whoa!” Clark exclaimed, jumping off the couch before he could stop himself.
“What’s wrong, Clark?” Mayson said, sounding hurt. “Is it me?”
“You?” he croaked out.
“It’s just... Well, I keep getting the impression that you’re not... interested in anything physical with me.”
“We haven’t been dating very long.”
“Okay, fair enough.” She rose from the couch. “But you seem... jumpy whenever anything seems to be heading in that direction. I just need to know if it’s me. Is it that you don’t find me attractive?”
“I find you attractive. Mayson, trust me. You’re a beautiful woman.”
“Then what is it?”
Clark was about to deny that there was any sort of issue. But by the look on her face, he knew it would do no good. Truth was, he wasn’t comfortable when things between them got physical. And, unfortunately, she had noticed. He let out a breath. “You know, maybe this just isn’t working.”
“No, Clark. Don’t do this. I’m not trying to force you into anything you’re not comfortable with. I just need to understand. Is there something going on here that you don’t want to tell me?”
“Like what?” he asked nervously.
“Like... maybe you’re gay.”
“What? No! That’s not it at all!”
“Then what, Clark?”
He hesitated for a moment more. Finally, he made his decision. “Okay, I had a... bad experience. And maybe I’m just a little gun shy.”
The look of relief on her face was obvious. “Okay, I can work with that.”
“How?” he asked warily.
“We can take it slow. As long as it’s not me.”
“It’s not you,” he assured her again, not adding the final phrase that passed through his mind - ‘it’s her.’**
* * * * * * * * *
Jimmy looked up as Lois returned to the newsroom, followed, of course, by that snake, Kent. They appeared to be walking a little too close in Jimmy’s opinion. And after what he’d seen earlier, he had to admit, he was concerned. When Kent placed a hand on the small of Lois’ back, almost as if he’d done the same thing every day for years, and Lois accepted without as much as a glance at Kent, every protective bone in Jimmy’s body came to life.
Kent had promised not to hurt Lois. Jimmy didn’t believe that for a second.
Besides, Lois didn’t exactly look happy. She seemed depressed, lost in thought as they stepped into the conference room.
Rising from his seat, Jimmy found himself walking towards the conference room. He wasn’t exactly sure what he hoped to achieve, but he had to know that Lois was all right.
When he arrived at the conference room, he realized that the door was open a crack - obviously not on purpose.
“I know this is hard. But no matter what happens, just remember... I love you, sweetheart.” Kent’s low, intense grumble was clear enough.
“I love you, too,” Lois responded. “It’s just... our daughter.”
“I know,” Kent responded.
Stunned, Jimmy backed away from the door. Their daughter. What the hell did that mean?
He briefly glanced at the door to Perry’s office. Whatever was going on here, it wasn’t kosher. Maybe it was time to bring Perry in on what he’d heard and seen since Kent had come into the newsroom.
On the other hand, would he be betraying Lois if he did so?
He slowly made his way back to his desk, trying to figure out the right course of action.
* * * * * * * * *
“You want to know something kind of funny,” Lois asked as she and Clark got settled in the conference room once again.
“What’s that?”
“Well, I just remembered something - a dream I had around this time.”
**Lois jerked awake to the sound of pouring rain. That dream had been so vivid, so real. She’d been walking in Centennial Park with Kent, arm in arm.
In the way of dreams, some of the conversation they’d had, although it had made sense to her at the time, was something of a blur now. But the moment he’d told her he loved her was still clear. She’d known he meant it. She could practically feel that love coming off him in waves.
A flash of lightning lit up the sky, followed by thunder and a moment later, rain was pouring down on them. At first, she’d suggested going back. But he had other plans. As the rain continued to fall, he’d dropped to his knee, pulled out a ring and asked her to marry him.
Getting out of bed, she stood at the window, looking out at the pouring rain. A night just like this one.
It was crazy, of course. After all, she would never even consider marrying Clark Kent still... the dream suddenly made her wish she could. She felt such love for him.
She turned away from the window, growling to herself as she did. What was she thinking? She was dating Dan. The dream proved nothing more than... she was seriously messed up in the head when it came to Kent. But that wouldn’t last forever. It was a phase she was going through. And the sooner it ended, the better.
And as for thinking she loved Kent... impossible. Laughable really. Just the byproduct of some stupid dream. Not real at all. Nope. She knew herself better than that. And if there was one thing she knew with unquestionable certainty, it was that she absolutely did not love Clark Kent.**
“That sounds a lot like...”
“...when you asked me to marry you - or at least up until the part where I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t love you.”
“So did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Love me.”
“You know I did. I just was... confused about Superman. I just needed time to...”
“No. I meant in this reality. Did you love me?”
She let out a breath as she thought back. “I don’t know,” she said after a moment. “In the dream I did. But in the cold light of day... I just don’t know. I do know that I didn’t want to love you.” She gave a confused shrug. “But then, the dream... I mean maybe I’m mixing up memories. In fact, that’s probably what’s happening. Because it was about this time that in our reality that you did ask me to marry you, but... I don’t know, Clark. It just seems like a dream somehow.”
“It was a dream,” Clark said, leaning in to kiss her lightly. “Not quite as good, of course, as the one where you asked me to marry you, but...”
“You know what I mean.”
Clark nodded. “Okay, well, let’s get back to work. Maybe our next memory we have will tell us how to get Vicky back.”
* * * * * * * * *
END OF SEASON TWO
* * * * * * * * *
TO BE CONTINUED...
