Hi!
Thanks go to my marvelous betas Kmar, Mona, and Mellie, who checked over the course of daily updates as I finished two or three pages a night. You girls are the best
And just in case there is someone out there who doesn’t know this: I’m not the first one to do an ‘Angry Clark has sex with Lois and later feels guilty about it’-scene.
Michael
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters and settings in this story are the property of D.C. Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions, and anyone else with a legal right to them, and I have no claim on them whatsoever, nor am I profiting by their use. It’s just the original stuff, that would be mine, written down to bring some entertainment to other FoLC.
The setting is right after “Season’s Greedings” in Season 2.
Blocks in >> << are literal thoughts by the character.
Rating: PG-13
**********
When Lois had threatened Clark with exposure – again – he had decided to confront her about it once and for all. But instead of submitting, Lois had begun to let loose her own pent up feelings on Clark’s behavior over the last year. And when they had finally reached the point of who had seduced whom, things got totally out of hand and Lois ended up having sex with Clark - again.
Part 17 /
TOC /
Comments **********
Collapsing against Lois and then the table had taken Clark completely by surprise. In fact, his loss of control had been so complete that he hadn’t even had a chance to soften his fall. Which explained why he was now lying on top of Lois, her body still radiating from their shared exertion. But the position wasn’t right, some lone neuron still capable of higher brain functions informed him. He had collapsed *onto* the table but now he could see that they were mere inches from the floor. That was when he realized that the table must have given way in the face of their combined onslaught.
And now, he didn’t even feel like he had the strength to do as much as lift a finger, let alone roll off of her. That was until he felt Lois buck underneath him, shifting to throw him off. He took the cue and rolled over onto his back as Lois first got to her hands and knees and then straightened herself, groaning as she did so.
His mind was still working on processing what had happened. Not the obvious thing, of course, since it was pretty clear even to a novice like him that he had just had sex with Lois Lane. No, what he didn’t understand was why he had had sex with her.
One minute they had been at each other’s throats, and the next, they had been at each other’s clothes. And once that had happened, something had just snapped within him. He couldn’t describe it any better. He had simply known two things at the time: One was that he was furious with her and the other was that he had to have her, right then and right there.
His eyes drifted to Lois, who had already managed to stand up by now. She wasn’t looking at him and her hands rested on one of the chairs as if she needed to steady herself. Her clothes were rumpled and he could see her creamy skin at the places where he had torn the fabric.
It hadn’t been anything like the gentle lovemaking he had experienced two nights ago. No, this time he had been driven by raw need and maddening anger. And the worst part of it was that he hadn’t even thought of her, but only of the fact that if she wanted to have sex with him, then she would get sex with him. And now that he was looking back at it, it horrified him. How could he have done what he did?
Glancing over to where Lois had managed to calm herself by drawing several heavy breaths, he saw her now bending forward to pick up her coat. And as she did so, she winced.
>>Oh god, what did I do?<< The thought shot through Clark’s mind like ice water. Lois was in pain. *He* had caused her this pain when he had forced himself on her. How could he have done that? He was no better than the rapists he caught when he was patrolling the city. It didn’t really matter that she hadn’t told him ‘no’, now did it? He hadn’t really given her a choice. >>Oh god, what did I do?<<
“Are you going to let me out of here now?” Lois’ voice jolted him out of his self-deprecating thoughts. Her tone was flat and emotionless, and she kept facing away from him. As he took in the rest of her, Clark noted that she was now wearing her coat again, bound tightly around her waist as she held herself rigid in front of the door. It was obvious that she felt the same way as he did and this time she really had grounds to accuse him of raping her.
>>Oh god, what did I do?<<
He rose dejectedly to his feet, only to flush deeply as he noticed the disheveled state of his own clothes. And Lois had probably glimpsed him like that, lying there like the sated bastard he was. How could he have done that to her? “Lois, I’m s-“
“No,” Lois’ flat voice cut him off without her even turning around to face him. “Don’t. I can’t talk to you.” She paused and he thought he saw her swallow. “I just… can’t,” she said with a small shake of her head.
Clark moved towards the door, making sure he didn’t step too close to Lois as he did so. When he moved to unseal the door, he just barely remembered to check that nobody was paying attention and would therefore bear witness to their sneaking out of the room. After all, about the only thing that could make this situation even worse would be if they got spotted by someone when they left the room. There was just no way that he would be able to explain the mess he had made without causing Lois further embarrassment. Not that it mattered if Lois chose to file charges against him.
Fortunately, there wasn’t anybody paying attention as far as he could see. The hallway was still as busy as it had been before, with police officers and what looked like FBI agents working on dealing with the aftermath of the hostage crises. Which reminded him that the emergency services could probably use more of Superman’s assistance during the cleanup of the train derailment.
The door was finally open and he barely noticed how Lois slipped outside as he further pondered the consequences of what he had done. Flying to the site of the train crash was out of the question. There was no one he had left behind who had still been in any danger and he had no desire to assist in the cleanup of that mess. He had a far bigger mess the deal with right here. And besides, how could he even contemplate wearing the colors that stood for truth and justice after what he had done?
Perhaps it would be best if he were to just turn himself in. But he had to tell Lois first. He couldn’t allow her to be blindsided by this. After all, the police would require a statement from her. Then there was the matter of the press. Someone was bound to tip them off and their esteemed colleagues would be hounding her for the story without any sign of compassion. He had already hurt her so much that if he didn’t give her a word of warning, he would hurt her even more. >>Oh god, what did I do?<< he screamed out silently yet again as he stepped though the door, pulling it shut behind him.
**********
“Clark?”
Clark was on his way down the hallway when a familiar and at the moment most unwelcome female voice interrupted his attempt to catch up with Lois. He groaned inwardly. Why did he have to run into Mayson when he had just behaved in the most despicable way, ever? Resigning himself to his fate, he turned towards her and tried not to look like he had just committed an atrocious crime. “Uh, hi, Mayson,” he greeted her flatly.
“Hi, Clark!” she returned his hello, seemingly more relaxed now than she had been earlier. She had almost been killed and yet here she was, standing two feet away and looking at him with the hint of a smile on her lips. He knew Lois had a tendency to just brush danger off, but he hadn’t realized that this was a common trait in Metropolis’ female population in general. Or perhaps it was just those women who were attracted to him.
Before he had a chance to think about what else to say to her, Mayson had already stepped even closer and thrown her arms around him. “Oh, thank god you’re here, Clark,” she whispered as she hugged him dearly.
Clark was shell-shocked. What was it today with the women around him? First Lois and now Mayson. And given what had just happened with Lois, he had to get away from Mayson. Clark began to gently pry her limbs from his jacket before holding her at arm’s length and looking into her eyes. “I heard, Mayson. I’m happy that you’re alright.”
Mayson stared back at him wide-eyed, before she shook her head and took a step away from him, effectively breaking the contact. “Yes, of course you heard. Is that why you’re here? To get the story?”
Glad that she had offered him an out, he jumped at it, hoping he would be able to get back to his search for Lois. “Yes. The hostage situation. That’s why I’m here.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” she said, looking for all intents and purposes as if she had expected him to have come solely for her. “So, where do you want to do it?”
Clark blinked. Had he heard her correctly? It had to be him. There was something that made women crazy when they were around him. Was it an aftereffect from Winninger’s drug? Was something stimulating his own pheromone production? “Do what?” he asked warily.
“The interview.” Mayson sighed. “Isn’t that what you guys do? Ask the questions to reveal the truth behind the story?”
“Yes,” he mumbled slowly, Mayson’s explanation slowly managing to tear a response from his sluggish brain. And once he had realized that she wasn’t just going to jump him like Lois had done, he stated louder, “Yes, of course.”
“Good.” Mayson reached for his arm and began to drag him towards the elevators. “So how about we get lunch and I’ll try to answer any questions you have on this whole mess.”
Clark felt himself unable to resist her pull, his mind still occupied with finding a way to escape from her and find Lois. He really had to find her. He couldn’t just sit down and have lunch with Mayson after he had basically forced himself on his partner. He just had to get away. “Lois.”
“What?” Mayson stopped and turned to face him. “What about your partner?”
Had he said that out loud? Yes, apparently he had. “Ah, I… Well… Lois was a hostage, too, and I really should make sure she’s okay. Can we postpone this? I really have to find her and talk to her.” Yes, that was good. That would work.
“I’m sure Superman is already helping her through this,” Mayson said acerbically.
“Superman? Why would Superman…?” Clark was confused but before he could focus on this thought, Mayson continued.
“I mean, they’re dating, aren’t they?” she asked with a hint of hope in her voice.
What was that about Superman and Lois dating? He had kept an ear on Lois even after he’d left her alone with Mayson and she hadn’t said anything about them dating. And why should she have done that in the first place? Especially after the last two days. Something just didn’t feel right, there. “Why would you think that?”
“Are you saying she isn’t?” Mayson looked at him dubiously. “Look, I know that I might have been a little hostile towards Superman in the past, but that doesn’t mean I would try to make trouble for him and Ms. Lane.”
Even in his current state of being he couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow. “A little hostile?” he breathed, obviously loud enough for Mayson to overhear.
“Okay, so it might have been more than a little. But the thing is: I really don’t want to get into this right now. Especially with everything else that has happened today. I guess it does help to have him around from time to time, but I still can’t fit him inside the executive branch of the government.” She sighed. “I guess what I’m trying to say here is, you’re his friend, and you’re a nice guy, and with everything that has happened, I guess I should give him the benefit of the doubt, okay?” Mayson looked down and shook her head before looking back at him. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that I really like you, okay? And I’d like to get the chance to find out if your feelings for me could grow into something more than just an ‘I like you’, too. And if that is the case, then I assume I will have to eventually get to know your friends, so I can’t just-“
Clark had finally realized what Mayson was trying to say. He absolutely had to get out of here. He had to find Lois and he had to make things right with her. And he would never be able to do this by starting to treat Mayson to lunch.
“Uh, wait, Mayson,” he interrupted her. “Lunch wouldn’t be a good idea right now. I, uh-“
“What’s going on Clark?” she inquired with a wary voice.
He desperately tried to figure out how to tell her that he couldn’t pursue a relationship with her. But how could he explain it. “I like you, too, Mayson, and I’m sure you will find a nice guy, but-“
“But?”
“-but I can’t be that guy. I would be glad to call you my friend, but I can’t just-“
Mayson swallowed and her posture had stiffened. “It’s your partner, isn’t it? Even with her attachment to Superman you still carry a torch for her, don’t you?”
“Ah, yes… and no.” he paused. “I… it’s complicated. And dating you right now… It wouldn’t be fair. To either one of us.”
Mayson withdrew the hand that had been resting on his right arm. “I see. Then why have you agreed to have dinner with me tonight?” Her voice was hard and her gaze steely.
“Dinner? What? No, I’m sorry. I really did want to just talk to you tonight about the pheromone stuff. Lois and I, that is.” Well, it was at least somewhat true. Just how did he always get into these messes? And how did he usually manage to get out again?
“I see.” Her voice was emotionless and she avoided his eyes. “I hope she realizes what she has in you. You know, there are not many who would try to remain friends in a love triangle. You are a special man, Clark Kent, and I’m sorry I didn’t meet you before you fell for her.” She straightened and flipped her hair back. “So this means it’s going to be dinner for three at the Planet this evening?”
Clark still stared at her dumbfounded. Had he just broken up a non-existent relationship with her? And did she really believe him to be the jilted guy in a love triangle? Granted, it could have been far worse, but still… And then there was this evening. And given how he wasn’t interested in pursuing Mayson romantically and the need to investigate Revenge had evaporated with Lois’ confession, there wasn’t really a good reason to have dinner with her tonight. “Actually, that lead sort of dried up.”
“Dried up?”
“Yeah… It turns out that it had all been an elaborate hoax.” He was now actively trying to avoid her gaze, too.
“Oh! Well, I’m glad it did.” Mayson awarded him a slight smile.
“Yes, I am, too. It could have turned out pretty bad, if it had been real.” And ironically, it had turned out even worse now that he knew it hadn’t been real.
“So, you’ll call me if you need more information, right?” Mayson was now once again looking at him, but her eyes belied her easygoing attitude. She was hurt. He really had a knack for hurting the women in his life, hadn’t he?
“Yes. If I need something, I’ll let you know.” He grasped her hand. “And thank you for being so understanding. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you’re looking for.”
Mayson returned his clasp. “Yes, I am, too. And I hope she realizes sometime soon what she has in you. You’re a far better man than Superman, you know that, right?”
Clark just smiled noncommittally, released her hand, and rushed for the elevator.
**********
On the way down Clark realized that he could no longer hear Lois’ heartbeat. And this meant that she was no longer in the building and he had no idea where she had gone. He had to find her. He *had* to talk to her. To apologize. To tell her he would accept the consequences of his actions. How could he have done what he had done?
He could still see Lois in front of his mind’s eye as he had turned her to face the table. She had just stood there, awaiting his next move after she had told him she wasn’t going to take her clothes off. And he had just ripped them open and proceeded to have his way with her. What sort of monster was he?
The scene kept replaying itself in his mind until he reached the main exit of the courthouse. Clark took a moment to look up and down the street, but there was no trace of Lois. So had she gone back to the Planet? It didn’t seem likely. She hadn’t been crying when she had fled, but that was probably just because of the shock from what he had done to her.
And perhaps the most damning and haunting image in his mind was the memory of seeing Lois’ slacks with a gaping hole right where her crotch had been. >>Oh god, what did I do?<< He vividly remembered how Lois had fastened her coat, making sure she was covered, no doubt. So, even if she would feel up to it, she wouldn’t want to be in public like that. Which left her with only one option, didn’t it?
**********
An expeditious dash into the next alley enabled Clark to take the quickest route to Lois’ apartment. He hated that he had to put on the red and blue suit for this; it just felt wrong now. He had always known that he was just pretending to be Superman, of course. Nobody was as good and true as the caped hero he portrayed himself as, but before he had at least not been a vile criminal.
What had Lois called him? Worm-ridden sea-slime or something like that. And she had been right. He was just bottom-feeding scum. The worst humanity had to offer, figuratively speaking. And now he again pretended to be the symbol of truth and justice, of everything that was good and right in the world. He felt like retching at the thought of his own depravity. How could he have done this to Lois? It was probably only the fact that he hadn’t eaten since yesterday’s lunch that prevented his fellow citizens from receiving a nasty surprise as he made his trip to Carter Avenue.
When he arrived, he didn’t bother with landing in a nearby alley. Instead, Clark just dropped down onto the roof, spun out of his suit and made his way down to the fifth floor. Taking a calming breath, he rang the door bell. Now he just hoped Lois was home. Of course, if she was, would she even allow him inside? Not that it mattered, really. After all, he could simply talk to her through the door.
Before his thoughts could drift any further, he heard the door being unlocked – just one lock, he noted in surprise – and gaped at the woman greeting him.
“Hello, Clark,” Lucy greeted him merrily. “That’s so great you’re here. Why are you just standing there? Come in. Come in,” she continued even as she grabbed his arm and dragged him through the now wide open door.
“Uh, hi, Lucy,” he stammered. Of course, now he remembered that he had seen Lois’ sister last night. He just hadn’t expected her to be there at – he checked his watch – almost two in the afternoon. Then he found himself sitting on one of Lois’ loveseats and facing Lucy, who had taken residence on his sofa’s companion piece on the other side of the coffee table.
That was when he noticed the almost untouched box of pralines on the table. His token gesture of making amends from last night. Apparently Lois hadn’t been any more interested in this one than she had been in the one he gave her this morning. But why? After all, he hadn’t done anything to her before this morning. Then an unbidden thought entered his already troubled mind. Oh, god, Lois must have *already* hated him when they had been together the first time. And hadn’t she told that she hadn’t wanted to go to bed with him two nights ago, either? Had he actually forced her back then, too? >>Oh god, what did I do?<<
“So, has Lois talked to you already?” Lucy asked him, breaking through his haze of well deserved self-recriminations.
“Talked to me?” Why should Lois have been talking to him? And more importantly, when? It had been less than half an hour since he had forced himself on her and Lois wouldn’t even have had a chance to get back to her apartment by now. Or maybe just barely so, given how the cab-drivers kept racing down the streets of Metropolis. But this certainly explained why he hadn’t found her here in the first place. He should have checked the streets *between* the courthouse and her apartment instead of just heading *straight for* her place. And had he actually expected Lois to get here before he did? He wasn’t just a deviant, he was a *stupid* deviant.
“Yes, *talked* to you.” She paused, looking as if she tried to figure out where to go next, before she went on. “You know, about what had happened between the two of you. And how horrible she felt about how she had-“ Lucy swallowed and looked to the wall behind him. “-drugged you.” Her mumble was almost inaudible. At least for humans.
“Drugged me?” Yes, that was right. Lois *had* drugged him! She had made sure that his mind was focused on anything but proper behavior just so she could get back at him. And he had given her a taste of what she had done to him. >>How could I do that?<< he thought with a strange cocktail of anger at Lois and disgust for himself.
Lucy blinked. “She *did* tell you, didn’t she?” Her voice took on a slightly panicked quality. “Oh god, please tell me she told you the whole story.”
“The whole story?” Why was Lucy suddenly panicking at the thought that Lois hadn’t told him about what she had done? Then it hit him. “Oh, no, don’t worry Lucy. Lois told me. I’m pretty sure she told me every last nasty detail of the whole affair.” And she really *had* told him everything. Not that it had helped at all. She still had maliciously done everything she could to hurt him. Just like he had done to her in return. How could he have done that?
“So, does that mean you have forgiven her for it?”
“Forgiven her?” Why was Lucy asking him if he had forgiven her? What was it to her?
“Well, yes. You’re here, aren’t you? Looking for Lois, I mean.” She reached forward and liberated one of the chocolates from the box. “You know-,” she mumbled as she chewed the sweet, “-those are really good. And I *am* right that you wouldn’t just try to find Lois here in her apartment in the middle of the day if you wanted to scream at her, right?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Clark replied distractedly as he pondered Lucy’s words.
“That’s great, Clark.” Lucy beamed at him. “You know, Lois was completely guilt-wracked last night. I’ve never seen her like that. She really hadn’t intended to go all the way with you. She never meant to take advantage of you like that. And she isn’t really dating Superman, she just wanted to make you feel bad. She never was the dating-sort of woman, did you know that? Last year was sort of a big surprise for all of us, with both Luthor and Superman courting her. And now I’m just happy that she has found a nice, normal guy who is willing to forgive Lois her stupidity *and* buy her those amazing chocolates. I think she really does love you, you know. She’s just afraid of saying it out loud.” Lucy stopped her babble and reached for another piece of the dark delicacy lying on the small table between them.
Clark had serious trouble following Lucy’s stream of words, which was strange given how he had already attended the Lane school for babbling comprehension, but one bit did get stuck. Lucy thought that Lois *loved* him? “You think Lois loves me?”
“Huh?” she mumbled around the melting chocolate in her mouth before she swallowed it. “Yes. She does love you. She wouldn’t have broken down like that if she hadn’t. She was so scared that she had lost you. That she had ruined everything. And now you’re here. I’m so happy for the two of you.”
“Ah, Lucy,” he began carefully. “I honestly doubt that Lois loves me.”
“Nonsense, Clark.” Her eyes captured his “Why would you say that?”
Yes, it was defiantly him. Women just stopped thinking rationally around him. “Because she told me so.”
“When? Yesterday, when she was scared and hurt? Clark, you should know not to listen to her when she is like that. And aside from that: Do you honestly think you could have hurt her so much if she wasn’t in love with you?” At Clark’s wide-eyed look, she continued. “Yes, you heard me correctly. She had been pretty upset at the time, but she did tell me that you hurt her, something about lying and dying.” She looked at him, noting his lost look. “Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense to me, either, especially the dying thing. But you must have hurt her deeply for her to lash out like that.”
Clark stared blankly at Lucy, her words reminding him of Lois' own words and his easy disregard of them just an hour ago. >>Oh god, what did I do?<<
**********
tbc
