Hi!
As always I’d like to thank my wonderful betas Kmar, Mona, and Mellie, who have helped to polish this part and had so many great suggestions
Michael
Disclaimer: The recognizable characters and settings in this story are the property of D.C. Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions, and anyone else with a legal right to them, and I have no claim on them whatsoever, nor am I profiting by their use. It’s just the original stuff, that would be mine, written down to bring some entertainment to other FoLC.
The setting is right after “Season’s Greedings” in Season 2.
Blocks in >> << are literal thoughts by the character.
Rating: PG-13
**********
After having shared a rather unloving encounter with Lois, Clark is guilt-wracked, believing he had actually raped his partner. Now he is trying to find Lois and tell her he is sorry and willing to accept the consequences of his actions, namely being found guilty of rape. But when he tried to find Lois at her apartment, he ran into Lucy instead, who is detailing the highlights of Lois’ emotions for him.
Part 18 /
TOC /
Comments **********
‘You died on me, you bastard. You died on me.’
Lois’ stabbing words from an hour ago were now once again fresh in his mind. And he had never even given her next statement a second thought in his own righteous anger. Instead, he had simply dismissed it as Lois lashing out at him.
‘And I actually spent the next day crying and mourning the best friend I’ve ever had. The man that I thought I loved. You died on me.’
She had told him all about her hurt. She had bared her soul in front of him, and all he had done was to think of himself and his own hurt. Even back then he hadn’t really thought of her, except that he had actually wanted to feel good about her devastation over his death. He had *wanted* to feel happy that she missed him like that. Lois had been so completely right in her anger at him. What sort of self-righteous bastard was he that he put his own need for acceptance over her peace of mind?
And then he had made a bad situation even worse. How could he have violated her like that? How could he have-
“Clark?”
-so easily disregarded every sensible-
“Clark!” the voice cut into his mind again, accompanied by a hand shaking his right shoulder.
He blinked and shook himself out of his haze.
“Hey, Clark.” Lucy stood in front of him, her hand still on his shoulder. “Are you all right?” she asked, her concern evident in her voice.
“Huh?”
“Good, your skin color is coming back. You know, you looked like you would completely lose it there, for a moment. And after what I went through with Lois yesterday, I’m not sure if I can handle a second loony within less than twenty-four hours. After all, I haven’t even started my psych major yet,” Lucy finished, a small smile playing on her lips.
Oh god, how pathetic would it be to lose it in the apartment of the woman you loved and had violated not even an hour ago while her little sister held your hand? Clark knew he had to get out of here. The Arctic sounded perfect right about now. Although he would have to make sure not to completely crush the ice or he could add the environment to the list of wonderful things he had managed to ruin over the course of the past two days.
“Ah, I-,” was all he managed to say before an insistent vibration between his right buttock and the sofa caught his attention. Lois! Was she trying to call him? He carefully pulled the beeper out of his pants pocket and checked the number. Not Lois but Perry. He so did not want to talk to Perry right now. He would probably get himself fired if he didn’t answer, but with everything else about to blow up around him, he wasn’t sure that it even mattered anymore.
“So, who is it?” Lucy asked curiously, trying to sneak a peek at the display.
“Oh, no one.” Clark waived his left hand dismissively, his right still holding the beeper and fending off Lucy’s attempt to see who wanted to contact him. “Just Perry.”
“*No one*?” she asked incredulously. “*Just* Perry? What are you trying to do, commit career-cide? Lois would never forgive you if you left her alone at the Planet. And I would end up with an even more heartbroken sister than I already have.” She stepped over to the phone and grabbed the cordless extension before holding it out to him. “Here!” She put the receiver in front of him on the coffee table. “Call your boss and find out what he wants.” And with those words, Lucy stepped away, muttering about how everybody called *her* the irresponsible one in the family.
Clark stared at the younger Lane sister for a few dumbfounded seconds, before common sense – or perhaps basic survival tactics – settled in. He picked up the device, dialed the familiar digits, and got greeted to a gruff “White” a mere two rings later.
“Uh, hi, Perry,” Clark began carefully, immediately recognizing his editor’s ‘no nonsense’ voice. “This is Clark… You beeped me?”
“Great shades of Elvis, Kent!” Perry’s voice shouted from the receiver. “Where in the name of the King are you? And do you have any idea where that partner of yours has run off to?
“Uh, I-,” Clark tried to come up with a reasonable explanation.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, stop stammering and just get to the courthouse already. Some guys took an entire courtroom hostage and I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the past *three* hours. What I give you guys beepers for I really don’t know.”
Clark could almost see Perry’s heavenward stare as he tried to formulate an adequate response. He had completely forgotten to check his beeper after he had spun back from being Superman. On the other hand, he hadn’t had much time to think about earthly matters such as beepers ever since. “There was this train-”
“What?” Perry’s voice boomed and Clark had to move the receiver away from his ear to forgo temporal loss of hearing – invulnerability notwithstanding. “Are you telling me you got the *Amtrak derailment* covered?”
“Huh?” Had he just said that? How he was going to explain that one, he had no idea. “Uh, yeah, Chief, Superman-”
“Good. Then why are you standing wherever it is you’re phoning me from, instead of being seated behind your computer and typing this up? LNN is already speculating about foul play being involved. Did Superman give you any quotes on that?”
Clark wasn’t sure what to say, but luckily Perry didn’t require a response.
“What are you waiting for, Kent? Git!” And with those words the line went dead on the other end.
Clark was still holding the receiver, staring at it as if it held the answer to all the questions in the universe. But all it did was beep at him, and the beeps didn’t sound like forty-two at all.
“Uh, I think I better go then…” Clark mumbled as he slowly lowered the wicked piece of technology to the table.
“No kiddin’,” he heard Lucy’s voice and the smirk she was not trying to hide. “Mad Dog White in attack mode.” She shook her head, grinning under her breath. “Lois has often told me about his barking, but up until now I never had the pleasure of actually witnessing one of his infamous outbursts.” She began to drag him towards the door. “Go! My sister can’t use a bum for a boyfriend, even if it would be a good defense for me when she tries to come after one of mine the next time.”
Clark soon found himself in the hallway, looking at the already closing door.
“And *talk* to Lois, okay? She needs you, more than probably even she knows.” And with those words the door closed in his face.
Clark still wasn’t too sure what had just happened but he made his way down to the lobby and flagged down a taxi. For some reason, flying didn’t even cross his mind.
**********
Twenty-five minutes later Clark paid the cab driver his fare and made his way to the newsroom, briefly contemplating whether Metro-Cab had increased their rates again since he had last taken a cab.
That he was even capable of such thoughts was probably due to the cab-drive itself. It had been the first time since his world had come crashing down around him a couple of hours ago that he had actually had time to really think. And it probably was a good thing that he had gotten this chance *after* his chat with Lucy.
If it was true what Lucy had told him – and he had no reason to believe otherwise – then Lois really had cared about his being dead, even after she had known that he was Superman. So she really did care for Clark, too. Perhaps she had even loved him. Before he had gone and screwed it all up by violating her this morning.
Yes, before this morning things might still have worked out between them. Because if Lois really did love him, then it had been mutual what they had shared two nights ago and all he would have to do now would be to decide whether or not to forgive Lois her acts of vengeance. Provided she would forgive him his lying, of course.
But now he had ruined everything. In one act of thoughtless lust he had forced himself upon Lois and she surely would never forgive him for this. And neither could he. Not that it made much of a difference if he couldn’t find Lois and tell her all of this.
**********
Clark was still contemplating this new outlook at Lois’ behavior and his own actions when he exited the elevator a few minutes later and made his way to his workstation. There he forced himself to put aside his thoughts of self-incrimination in order to focus on the article he had to write.
Then it hit him. Before, he had just focused on the scene of the accident, on the actions he had to take, on the survivors he had to dig out from the mangled steel frames. Right after that he had had the rescue in the courthouse to occupy his mind and then there had been Lois. And during all this time he hadn’t had a chance to actually contemplate what had happened to the people on the train, the lives that had been lost. Even the grief he had seen and his stoic despair when he hadn’t been able to save someone had been banished into the deepest recesses of his mind. But now as the stress finally left his body, his memories began to resurface and he allowed them pour out and into the article.
The family of four that had survived unscathed inside their train compartment when to the left and right there had been no survivors. The firefighters cutting into the metal to free those that hadn’t required his *immediate* attention. The mother who had held her dying daughter, she herself helplessly trapped in the wreckage; the young man who had lost both his legs; the just married couple on the way to their honeymoon – the bride would return a widow now. And mixed in between the dead and injured claimed by this catastrophe was the sheer impotence of even Superman when he was confronted with an event of that scale.
“…and a toll of over ninety-three dead and four hundred injured marks yesterday’s derailment of Amtrak 2209 as the worst train disaster in recent history…”
Clark startled as he heard his editor’s gruff voice from behind him as Perry read the article on the monitor.
“This is good stuff, Clark,” Perry approved of Clark’s work as he placed a hand his shoulder. “One might almost believe you had seen it yourself instead of getting the story from Superman.”
Clark turned around on his chair, staring at his boss. “Uh… I’m sure it’s just the usual…,” he tried to distract the editor, realizing he might have let too much of Superman’s experience flow into the article.
“Hm… Yeah, you could be right about that. You do usually manage to capture Superman’s point of view quite vividly in your articles.” Perry waived his hand, dismissing the topic. “Anyway, what’s missing in there is the cause of this *accident*.” Perry emphasized the last word with finger-quotes from his right hand.
Clark was immediately relieved that Perry hadn’t made the connection between himself and Superman. But he would have to be more careful in the future or he would soon be able to fly out of the Planet building by way of the big picture window in the newsroom instead of the stairway exit on the roof without causing a fuss. Then there was his boss’ comment on this not being an accident. “Uh, Perry…?”
The editor gave him a grim smile. “Well, after LNN had started the speculation on how this might not have been an accident, I decided to contact a few sources I have high up-,” Perry informed him, his voice showing the satisfaction that he still had more to contribute then just distributing the workload and putting together the front page. “-and they speculate on how a train normally would not just jump from the tracks and burrow itself into the rock formation the way it did. Did Superman notice anything on that?”
Clark listened to Perry’s explanations and remembered his earlier mentioning of the speculation by LNN. And he had to admit that it did sound suspicious. Of course, why anybody would want to derail a passenger train was beyond him. “No, Perry. As far as I know, Superman doesn’t know anything about sabotage being involved.”
His editor squinted at him, harrumphed meaningfully and got on with the subject. “Well, I sure hope you check further into this. I don’t want to see LNN’s Cindy Marges telling me about it before she has had a chance to read the story in the Planet.”
Clark nodded dutifully, mentally calculating the time he would have to spare for this besides his search for Lois. He *really* needed to talk to her.
“Which brings me to the reason why I’m here instead of in my office.” Perry placed a sheet of paper in front of Clark. “This is the rough draft of the courthouse hostage situation.”
Clark looked back at Perry, the confusion evident on his face. Hadn’t Perry grilled him earlier about where he had been during the hostage situation? Which obviously meant he had had no other reporter assigned to it. So where did this article come from?
“Lois phoned it in a few minutes ago and asked that you would add Superman’s side to it.” Perry pushed the paper around a bit with this index finger as he continued to detail Lois’ adventure, “Turns out, she had a ringside seat during the whole thing. It shouldn’t really surprise me, you know? She also told me that Superman literally arrived at the last second to save one of the hostages – the Assistant D.A. in the proceedings by the way.” He shook his head. “Yeah, I couldn’t believe it myself. Apparently Lois hadn’t been the one in immediate danger this time. You seem to be finally rubbing off on her.” Perry smiled and stepped away to make his way back to his office. “Oh, and in case you wonder. Lois ‘informed’ me she would take the rest of the afternoon off and said something about one major scoop a day being enough.” Still shaking his head, Perry retreated back to his office, yelling out to Jimmy to follow him there.
Clark was left behind at his desk to stare at the sheet of paper with Lois’ article on the hostage crises. It might as well be covered in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs for all that it mattered. *Lois* *wanted* *him* to add to her article. And she didn’t just expect him to slip in a Superman quote and then hand it back to Perry. No, she had gone the extra mile to make sure Perry *knew* that it was a joint effort. And from *where* had she phoned the article in? And what did this mean?
Clark took a deep breath and decided to approach this problem one baby step at a time. He still had to finish his own article, which meant getting out of here and in contact with the on-site investigators. And he knew from experience that they wouldn’t be too willing to divulge anything before they were ready for an official statement. So the next best thing would be to just finish Lois’ article and get that one out of the way.
Ten minutes later he again stared at the paper, only this time he had had a Rosetta stone at hand as he read it. Not for Lois’ reasoning behind sharing her scoop, mind you, but at least for the incredible coincidence of today’s events. The hostage situation had been aimed at breaking an Intergang big shot free. Something only the dumbest of gangsters would attempt in Metropolis. But while Intergang was infamous for many things, being dumb wasn’t amongst them.
The timing of the hostage situation had coincided with the train derailment in a way that was beyond happenstance. And if it hadn’t been for the mysterious urge to fly back to Metropolis, he might still be digging through the wreckage, trying to help the emergency services. The police usually didn’t call upon his help, so nobody would have asked him to return to Metropolis while he was busy helping out at the site of the accident. Only it hadn’t been an accident. He was now convinced it had been a deliberate act, designed to occupy the resident Superhero and thus preventing him from interfering with the hostage taking and subsequent escape of the perpetrators.
Intergang had unscrupulously risked a thousand lives and killed almost a hundred people just to break one of their leaders out of custody.
This was big. And it was horrible. But it wasn’t anything he could prove yet. The whole mess made him sick to his stomach. Literally.
Clark barely managed to reach the men’s room in time for his dry heaves to set in. He couldn’t believe the depravity of this act of coldblooded murder. A mass murder committed solely for the sake of distracting Superman and luring him away from Metropolis. How could people do something like that?
**********
As Clark slouched back to his desk, he contemplated his findings. He knew he was right, even if deep down he hoped that he wasn’t. But still, he needed to talk this over with someone else to make sure his theory was viable. And there was only one other person he could reasonably do this with. Unfortunately, she had decided not to come back for the day and he had no idea where she was.
Except, of course, that she might indeed be at home by now. Should he call her? Or would she ask Lucy to deny her to him? And why *had* she offered him a shared byline on her story on the hostage situation? Should he even be thinking about Lois at a time like this? Even if what he had concluded on today’s train catastrophe *weren’t* true, the sheer magnitude of the disaster alone should be enough for him to discourage the pursuit of any personal agenda.
But try as he might, his mind kept wandering back to Lois. Back to the way she had twisted his psyche around with her games until he had snapped and taken her simply because he hadn’t been able to deny his rage and his raging hormones any longer. What was wrong with him? Just because she had grabbed him, didn’t give him permission to trap her and seek out his pleasure like a man possessed. Even when he had been drugged he hadn’t felt this overwhelming a need. Or perhaps he had, only to have it tempered by love instead of fueled by anger.
Was that it? Was he still under the influence of that potency drug? But how could that be? He frequently had been in close quarters with Lois yesterday and this morning, and yet he hadn’t felt more than a lingering reminder of their shared passion. So why had the smoldering embers burst into an all-consuming fire once she had grabbed him and he had grabbed her, leading to them going at it like crazed animals.
Clark blinked and fell back against the chair’s backrest, his head lolling back into his neck as he stared unseeingly at the ceiling. Had he really just thought that? Had he really just thought that *they* had gone at it like animals? He sat back up and swallowed heavily. Yes, that’s what he was starting to remember. The feeling of Lois’ body in his hands. Lois waiting for him to make the next move. Lois moving in sync with him when they had been together. Today might not have been about making love, but it hadn’t been rape either. She had wanted it as much as he had. That much he now was sure of.
A part of him was relieved at this realization. But another part was still struggling to understand why he had been so overcome by need. And the only explanation he could come up with didn’t make sense, because it would suggest that she had drugged him again. And that was *impossible*. Not because he would put it past her, but because he hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since yesterday. Lois simply wouldn’t have had the chance to drug him. So why had he been so out of control this time? And he refused to believe it was just because she had managed to find a way to switch on his most primal instincts. He just *had* to have more self-control then that.
So where did this leave him? He stared at Lois’ article in front of him. Well, for starters, it left him with the need to finish her article. Then he could contemplate *why* she had asked him to complete it in the first place.
**********
Less than half an hour later he knocked on the open door of Perry’s office, the printed-out version of Lois’ and now *their* article firmly clasped in his right hand. “Perry, the article on the hostage situation is done, but I believe there is more to it than meets the eye,” he finished as he stepped through the door and pulled it shut behind him.
Perry looked up from where his gaze had been focused on some papers on his desk and offered the male half of his star reporting duo an expectant glance. “Yes…?”
Clark took the cue and placed the article on Perry’s desk. “I still have to discuss this with Lois, but after comparing the facts of both the hostage crisis and the train accident…” Clark paused, preparing himself to deliver the conclusion, wishing once more that Lois were here with him. She was so much better at selling farfetched stories than he was. “Well, if it hadn’t been for the train derailment, chances would have been pretty big that Superman would have been in Metropolis far earlier than he had managed. In fact, it was sheer luck that he had been in time to save Mayson Drake – the Assistant D.A – from getting murdered.” Seeing the undecided look on Perry’s face, Clark hurried to finish his explanation. “So, what if the train derailment hadn’t been an accident but a deliberate act designed to draw Superman away from Metropolis?”
“Hm…,” Perry mused. “I see Lois is starting to rub off on you, too…” Perry contemplated this information for a little while longer. “It’s a theory, although if you and Lois could prove this, it would certainly shake things up with the public and the government, as far as Intergang is concerned.”
Clark nodded his assent as Perry continued. “Okay, I want the train-story on my desk before you leave, but keep the cause of it vague. I don’t want to print ‘accident’ only to have an update saying ‘deliberate act’ in the next edition.” Perry waited for Clark to nod his assent before he continued. “And then I want you and your partner to dig into this mess. If Intergang really *is* behind this, it means they have upped their game. We might also have to involve the D.A.’s office in this investigation as well as the FBI if it turns out to be true.”
“Lois won’t like that,” Clark mumbled.
“Neither do I,” Perry agreed, proving to still possess excellent hearing. “But once a story involves a criminal organization whose actions could rival those of international terrorists, it gets decidedly too big for us not to involve the proper authorities before we go to print.”
“I agree,” Clark acquiesced carefully. “I just hope Lois will, too…”
“If she doesn’t, tell her she can file a complaint with me.” Perry gave him a half smile, the editor obviously just as torn by the news as he had been. “And now, git! You have an article to finish and an investigation to begin.”
Obviously dismissed, Clark rose and stepped back out into the newsroom.
**********
tbc
