This is a result of seeing this thread
here It's also a response to Labrat's one hour challenge. I'm far from happy with this, but I wanted to stick to the time limit, so here goes. Any suggestions are welcome, along with comments, positive and negative. Apologies for the lack of polish. I'm working without a BR, mostly because I'm afraid Carol will hunt me down when she finds out I unleashed my mused and was writing stuff besides Strength.
SUPERHERO RETURNS!
Clark Kent stared in horror at the toy innocently sticking up out of the gift bag as it sat on his kitchen table.
“Honey!” he called loudly, anxious to get this situation sorted out. The mere presence of the toy was already causing him to grow tense. Thankfully, Lois soon arrived from saying goodbye to the last of Jon’s birthday guests.
“Clark, what’s the matter?” she asked with concern.
“Have you seen this?” Clark gestured frantically at the object that had caused him so much worry.
“It’s a Superman toy,” she shrugged. “We talked about this, Clark. It was only a matter of time before Jon would either want one or would be given one. Trying to control that would be the same as trying to limit Ellie’s Barbie collection. We’ll just be like every *normal* family if Jon has something like this.”
“Yes, I know we agreed on that,” Clark replied. “But have you *seen* what that thing is?”
“Not really,” she shrugged. “You had left to go take care of that earthquake, which left me to deal with a pack of eight-year-olds by myself plus a very left out little sister. I was a little too busy to pay close attention during present time.”
“I’m sorry, Honey.” Clark kissed her cheek in apology. “But I couldn’t just-”
“Yeah, I know. You had to help,” Lois conceded grudgingly. “Anyway, I can’t look through the packaging like you can, so I still don’t know what makes this toy so terrible.” She reached over and pulled the plastic package out of the bag. Then she stifled a giggle.
Clark stifled a groan. It looked even worse when he didn’t have to use any of his special vision capabilities. Although they had gotten the general traits right, the man on the package didn’t look much like him at all, and even the suit was a bit off. The words “Superhero Returns” was inexplicably emblazoned across the package. And that was saying nothing about the actually contents.
“I like the motorcycle,” Lois commented cheekily.
“It’s completely pointless!” Clark objected. “Why would I-“ he stopped, aware of Jon and Ellie, who he could hear in the next room. “I mean, why would Superman ride a motorcycle? He can get wherever he wants to go by flying! Could you imagine what everyone would think if I turned up to the next emergency riding that thing?”
“You’d get some attention, that’s for sure.”
“But even the motorcycle’s not as bad as the guns! That directly contradicts everything that Superman stands for. Superman would never shoot at anyone to hurt them, which is exactly what that guns are designed for.” He was becoming increasingly upset by this, but Lois still seemed to be pretty calm, if not amused by the blatant errors.
Lois tilted the package in her hands and squinted at the toy. “Well… maybe they‘re not meant for you to shoot. Maybe you’re supposed to crush them up with your hands or something.”
“I doubt it, Lois. And it’s not me, remember? It’s Superman.” They had to be especially careful now that the kids were getting older.
“Right,” Lois nodded. “And when you think about it, Clark, it’s not even really Superman. It’s just… Superman turned into a doll.”
“Action figure,” Clark replied absently.
“Sorry.” She rolled her eyes. She drew breath to continue, but was interrupted by their two children bursting into the room in the middle of a fight.
“Mo-om!” Ellie complained. “Jon won’t let me see his Nintendo DS! He promised I could look at it, but he still hasn’t!”
“Jon, you need to give your sister a turn,” Lois told him sternly.
“But it’s my birthday present!” Jon objected.
“You still need to give her a turn,” Clark said firmly. “You have a lot of new toys to play with, and I’m sure you can include Ellie in a lot of the games.”
Not ready to give up yet, Jon snatched the Superman toy and dangled it front of Ellie enticingly.
“Ellie, how about you play with this for a while so I can finish up my level, okay?”
“No way,” Ellie replied firmly. “I want the DS, not Superman!”
Clark couldn’t help feeling a little wounded at this. Cheap toy or not, he would like to think that he ranked higher with his kids than an electronic game. Of course, having his kids hero worship his alter ego would probably make him even more unsettled.
Jon sighed heavily, and then complied with his parents’ request. They exited the kitchen, with Jon hovering over his sister the whole time ‘helping’ her play the game and Ellie telling him to back off. Lois, meanwhile, returned to studying the awful toy in her hands.
“I *think* it’s trying to say something about Superman coming back from New Krypton,” she told Clark. “But it’s such a poor translation, it’s hard to tell. It says we’re in New York, not Metropolis.”
“I guess that explains the title, but I had never actually been to New Krypton in the first place,” Clark replied irritably. “They don’t even seem to have their facts straight.”
“And the last part of the summary makes no sense whatsoever,” Lois concluded. “It’s possible that I’m supposed to be ‘Louis silk’, if they assume that that rumor of Superman’s affair is correct, but I certainly did *not* have a child when you came back. It’s like they’re trying to tell a completely different story here.”
“Where did this come from? China?”
“Yeah. Probably all kinds of cheap materials in the toys as well.” She offered the package to Clark, who took it from her.
Clark tsked, and turned the package over in his hands. He really wanted to just get rid of the toy, however it was a present to Jon, and he couldn’t just throw it away.
Lois reached up and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “Clark, it’ll be okay. It’s just some cheap knock-off toy that slipped through without the Foundation’s knowledge. We’ll alert them of the problem, and they’ll take care of it. It’ll be off the market as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Why do I get the feeling that there’s more to this that’s bothering you?”
“It’s just that… The idea of seeing my son playing with a Superman toy, even if it is approved by the Foundation, is a little strange. And it’s a constant reminder of what we’re keeping from him. When are we going to tell them, Lois? Jon’s eight now, and before we know it, Ellie will be six.”
“I’m not sure,” Lois replied slowly. “They seem too young right now.”
“They do.”
“But if we keep waiting, then sooner or later they’re going to find out for themselves. There’s only so long we can keep a secret like this from them.”
“And I don’t want that to happen to them,” Clark said. “But I’m not sure what to do.”
“Me neither,” Lois shrugged. “But I guess for now, we’ll just keep doing the same thing we’ve always been doing.” She reached over and reclaimed the toy from Clark. “And about this toy…”
“Yeah?”
“Although the motor bike is a little unnecessary, I can definitely see the attraction.” Her gaze travelled from the box and crawled up Clark’s body, finally locking eyes with him.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, his voice suddenly husky.
“Definitely.” She took a step towards him, but Clark suddenly stopped her.
“Wait! Lois—the kids.”
“They’re playing with that game whatever thingy. You’ve seen them at those, they’re completely oblivious to anything around them. We have more than enough time to spare.”
In a flash, the two of them escaped to the master bedroom, leaving one cheaply made foreign toy behind in the kitchen, forgotten for the time being.
A/N: Some of you may recognize the kids.
But I hope that those of you who haven't read any of my nextgen stories can still read this one as a stand alone piece.
