Thanks again to Nancy and Carol for helping out with this.
PART FOURTEEN
*~Jay~*
I stood there staring blankly at Kaylie as she shoved past me and walked into my apartment. She was asking what *I* had done?
“What are you talking about?” I asked grumpily.
“Ellie showed up at our place crying so hard she could barely speak because of some horrible thing that had happened between you two. And I want to know what it is that you did to make her so upset. Because not that she’s not welcome at our place or anything, but having a weepy future sister-in-law over is not exactly my idea of good company. And then to find out it was *you* who caused the problem in the first place-”
“She’s upset?” I asked hopefully, zoning in on the only relevant thing I could pick out from her rant. Could there possibly be some hope for us after all?
“Jay, what is wrong with you?! How can you be happy about *that*?” Kaylie demanded.
“No, I’m not happy that she’s upset,” I clarified. “And I’m not really happy. It’s just that… Well, she broke up with me, okay? But if she’s upset, then maybe she’s regretting it or something.”
“Wait. You’re saying *Ellie* broke up with *you*?”
“Yeah. She came over here and was going on and on about whether or not we were even meant to be together.” Rehashing this hurt, but at the same time it felt good to talk about it. “Anyway, I asked her what she was talking about and whether that meant she wanted to break up.”
“And she said yes?!”
“Not exactly,” I shrugged. “But I knew what she was getting at. Look, I just thought it’d be best to let her go and not make a scene.”
“Jay,” she groaned. “You’re an idiot.”
“What? How?”
“Ellie does not want to break up with you, trust me.”
“And you know this… because?”
“Because I know you two,” she declared confidently. “And neither one of you are going to break up with the other. But at this point, I wouldn’t really blame her if she did.”
“You wouldn’t?!”
“Well, not really,” she confessed. “But seriously, Jay! You’re telling me you didn’t fight for her at all? It sounds like you practically pushed her out of the window.”
“I didn’t *exactly*-”
“Do you think it was always easy for me with Jon? Of course it wasn’t. And sometimes it still isn’t! But we’ve both decided that what we have together is worth all of our effort to maintain. And that’s the same way it has to be for you two. Now get out of here, take my car because it’ll be faster than trying to find a cab, and get over to Ellie’s. I’m sure that’s where she’s going to end up. And tell her that you’re not giving up.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I am going to wait until you leave, then call Jon, who is hopefully done slapping some sense into his sister by now. He’ll come pick me up and take me back to our now empty place. Now go get your girl, Jay.” She plopped onto my sofa, and stared at me expectantly. So I grabbed my coat, and exited my apartment, pulling on the sleeves as I ran down the stairs.
* * *
*~Ellie~*
“Do you… want some tea maybe?”
I paused long enough to shoot a dirty look over at Jon before taking another Kleenex from the box and blowing my nose again. Although I never got colds, my nose still ran just like everyone else’s did when I cried.
“Okay, I guess no tea then,” Jon carefully stated.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I’m being moody.”
“No, it’s okay. Just… Ellie, what exactly happened?”
I balled the Kleenex up and tossed it roughly in the direction of the kitchen garbage. Then I turned to speak to my brother.
“You know that aura thing I was doing today with Mom and Dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it worked just like I thought it would. I saw Dad’s aura and how it flows into Mom to protect her. And it was just so completely effortless. Like it was natural for them. When I saw the kind of bond that they have, I realized that there’s no way that Jay and I have that. And it just got me thinking about whether or not Jay and I are supposed to be together at all.”
“But Ellie, Mom and Dad have been together for years. Obviously you can’t expect the same thing from what you and Jay have.”
“Maybe,” I shrugged. “But you and Kaylie don’t seem to have any problems either, so clearly things are working out fine for you. It’s just me that has the problem.” I paused. “And it’s only with Jay,” I added.
“Huh?”
“Well, you know that Jay’s not my first boyfriend. And… Not that you really need to know details… But it’s not like it’s a completely new experience with Jay.”
“Please tell me you didn’t make out with Archie,” Jon winced.
“*Arty*. And why does everyone think he’s so terrible? Arty was really-”
“Nice, I know. I guess that means you did, huh?”
“So?” I asked defensively. “He was a pretty good kisser.”
“Even with the retainer?”
“Well, he took it out when… You know, never mind. The point is, I *never* had a problem with him as far as control. And don’t you think that’s a little odd? That it’s only with Jay? Maybe that’s some kind of sign that we’re somehow… incompatible.”
“Or maybe that’s the reason why you should be together.”
“What?”
“Well, not that *you* need to know details, Ellie, but when I’m with Kaylie, I don’t have to think about any of that control stuff we were taught when we were breaking in our powers. Everything just goes away and it’s only me and her. And that’s something I never experienced with anyone else. Not even with Amanda, no matter how close we had gotten.”
“So, what? The fact that I can’t control myself is proof that we’re meant to be together?”
“Well, I’m not an expert, Ellie, but maybe it means that there’s something going on between you two that you never had with anyone else before.”
He was right. I couldn’t exactly put it into words, but there was some sort of intrinsic feel of belonging when I was with Jay. A sort of comfort that I felt, along with a sense of openness. Partially, I think I had attributed it to the fact that he was the first person I had dated who knew who I was. But was there more to it than that?
“So you’re saying that Jay and I *are* meant to be together. But just that something else isn’t cooperating? What would that be?”
“Hey, I’m not the scientist, Ellie. You tell me. But think about it seriously. Why would *Arty* be better for you than Jay?”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I admitted.
“Ha! So you admit it!” he proclaimed triumphantly. “Arty *was* a dweeb!”
“What?” I sputtered. “That wasn’t what I… Arty was…. Whatever. Never mind. When are you going to stop teasing me about him, anyway?”
“Not anytime soon,” Jon replied. “So are you feeling better about you and Jay?”
Just when I thought I had stopped crying, a fresh flood appeared.
“Hey, what’s wrong? What was it I said?”
“I think I blew it, Jon,” I whispered.
“What did you do?”
“I went over to his place,” I began quietly. “And I told him the whole thing about the aura and what I was thinking and then… I think he misunderstood or something because then he was asking me if that meant I wanted to break up. And I didn’t know what to say! It was just happening too fast and it was out of control and I just didn’t know and the next thing I knew I was out of his apartment and coming over here.”
“Go home,” Jon told me.
“What?”
“Go home. He’ll be there willing to do whatever it takes to win you back.”
“How do you know?” I asked timidly.
“I don’t know if you noticed Kaylie slip out, but I know that she was going to smack some sense into him and I know that she’s going to be successful. So go home and wait and he’ll be there. Trust me.”
* * *
***
I had successfully repaired Jon’s memory. Feeling very proud of my accomplishments, I shooed him off with Kaylie to do some fiancé type bonding. Mom and Dad and Aunt Lucy and Uncle Brad also left, but for some reason Jay still stuck around. I shied away from starting a conversation with him. I wasn’t really sure how we stood anymore now that the whole mess was over with. We weren’t just going to walk away, were we? I didn’t want to, but we had never really discussed what our plans were. Did he want to walk away? Finally, I mustered up enough courage to speak.
“Are you sure you don’t want some ice for your eye? It’s going to bruise, I can tell.” Maybe not the most courageous move, but it was a start.
“Oh, I bet you can, Ms. Know-it-all,” he replied. “But I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” I nodded. I had wiped down all the counters and put everything away, even at a slow speed as a stalling tactic. The lab was completely spotless, and I didn’t have anything else to do here. But I couldn’t leave yet. I wasn’t sure if this was going to be the last time I saw Jay.
“Look, Ellie,” Jay spoke, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.
“Yeah?” I stood up a little straighter.
“Now that we don’t *have* to spend time together, I was wondering if… If you wanted to go on a date sometime.”
I let out a grateful exhalation. “Oh, I would love to. Where should we go? You know, I can fly us anywhere in the world. We can go to China or Italy or Japan or – Ooo! I know this really great Indian place. Trust me, you’ll love it.”
“Ellie,” he interrupted me. “I think I was the one who asked you on a date. Not the other way around.”
“Oh.” I guess he wasn’t interested in being impressed that way.
“Kind of strikes me as a cheesy move to expect my date to provide the transportation. Tell you what: I’ll take care of everything this first time, and then next time you can take me wherever you want, okay?”
“You’re just scared to fly with me, aren’t you?” I teased.
“Not a chance,” he replied. “I’m fearless, Ellie, didn’t you know?”
“Yeah, sure,” I rolled my eyes. “So when are we going on this date?”
“Tomorrow good for you?”
“Yeah, it is. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“So, I guess this is bye. For now.”
“Yeah. For now.”
***
* * *
*~Jay~*
I slammed the door to Kaylie’s car behind me as I strode up the walk to Ellie’s house. I felt like I hadn’t slowed down at all since I had left my apartment. I had been carried by the momentum of Kaylie’s lecture, and ended up here faster than I ever thought possible.
I pushed the doorbell, and the door flew open a second later. Ellie stood there.
“Ellie,” I spoke with more confidence than I felt, “I’m not giving up on us yet.”
“Oh, thank god.” Her arms flew around me and I gladly absorbed the feeling of having her in my arms again. Sure, it hadn’t really been that long since I had last hugged her, but the emotional journey we had been on was huge.
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come,” she mumbled into my coat. “Jon told me to wait for you here, but then you didn’t come right away. And I thought maybe I should go to your place and see you there but that wasn’t right. I wanted you to come here. But Jay, it seemed like forever.”
“Ellie, I came by car,” I explained with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “And you know how the traffic is on 112th. There’s no way I could’ve broken the sound barrier.”
She hugged me tighter and we stood there on her stoop for a while before she pulled away. “Will you come in?” she asked me.
We stepped inside and she closed the door as I got rid of my heavy coat. I reached over to flip the bolt on her door when she didn’t, and her mouth tugged into a smile. But she quickly sobered.
“Jay, I’m so sorry,” she said. “About what I did today. It seems that everything I do in the lab has led to discouraging results. And today was just kind of the last straw for me.” She sat down on the stairs heading up and placed her head on her hands. “I just want this to be solved, but everything just seems to lead to more problems.”
“So you started wondering if it was us that was the core problem?”
“I guess I did,” she admitted. “But I talked to Jon about it some. And he helped me see that it’s not us that’s the problem. And I feel so much better about it now, I really do. I was just letting my frustration get the better of me. There’s no way I think that we shouldn’t be together.”
“So you just got over all your doubts? Just like that?” I didn’t think it would’ve been that easy.
“I think what I needed,” Ellie told me, “was just for someone to say that we were doing okay. That was it.”
“I wish I could’ve done that for you,” I told her. “You know, what Jon did. Made you feel better and put your doubts at ease.” I sat beside her on the stairs. “I *should’ve* been able to do that. But instead I basically kicked you out without really letting you talk. And I’m sorry for that.”
“That’s okay, Jay.”
“I believe in us, Ellie, I really do. But I guess part of me has just been waiting for the day when you realize that you want something more. And who am I to hold you back from that? You deserve the very best, and if I can’t give that to you, then I’m not going to stand in your way.”
“Oh, Jay,” she groaned. “You idiot.”
“What?” That had been the second time I had been called that today, and I wasn’t really enjoying it any more this time.
“*You’re* the very best, you moron.” She nudged me with her shoulder. “Nothing better could possibly come along.”
“You’re serious?”
“Yes! Of course I am,” she insisted. “For starters, you’re the most irritating guy I’ve ever met, and that includes my brother.”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“Yeah, of course it is! It means that I care about you. More than I ever did with anyone else. If you didn’t matter to me, then I would be able to brush off whatever you do or say easily.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I said cautiously.
“Do you remember when we first met? How much we hated each other?”
“Yeah.”
“I wanted so badly to see you just walk out of my lab and never come back,” she confessed. “But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t ignore you. Something about you always kept me coming back. I don’t really know how to explain it. A kind of magnetism, I guess. But now it goes beyond that. The very thought of separation just… I don’t even want to think about it. It’s…it’s like a remora!” she said in a burst of inspiration.
“What?”
“You know, those sucking fish? They attach themselves to sharks or whales or turtles or whatever by suction. The shape of their dorsal fin allows them to cling to the body of a host and they hitch a ride to the site of a kill and… and this isn’t sounding one bit romantic, is it?” she asked ruefully. “More like disgusting. See, this is why I would never make a good writer.”
“I think it’s cute,” I told her with a smile. “And I’ll certainly give you points for trying to come up with a romantic metaphor.”
“Thanks. Anyway, the point is, I’ve attached myself to you, Jay, and I’m not about to come loose anytime soon.”
“Ellie, have I ever told you that you’re absolutely amazing?”
“Maybe once or twice,” she shrugged cheekily.
“Well, let me say it again. You’re truly amazing. I have no idea what I would’ve done without you. Have I ever told you that? You’ve kept me from completely falling apart, despite the rut I’ve been in. I mean, now things are finally looking up for me,” I told her, remembering the job offer I had received earlier today. “But you’re still my anchor.”
“I never congratulated you about the job,” she remembered. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well we were both too busy messing up our relationship to think about that.”
“Well, congratulations,” she said hugging me. “I’m so happy for you, Jay. You have no idea.”
“Thank you.”
We were silent together for a moment before Ellie spoke again.
“So we both agree that we mean a lot to each other and we’re not about to go anywhere.”
“I guess we just can’t communicate that,” I finished wryly. “Looking at our history, we don’t have a very good track record of that kind of thing. Like that whole fiasco with the necklace? It probably could’ve been avoided if we had just talked before you decided to try your hand at jewelry design.”
“Jay, no wonder we can’t share an aura,” she groaned. “Considering how bad we are at sharing our own feelings, it’s not really a surprise.”
“Do you really think that’s the problem?” I asked her.
“I’m not sure,” she shrugged. “But it can’t be helping. Can we make a promise, Jay? That we’ll be completely honest and open with each other from this point on? No more keeping our fears and worries to ourselves?”
“Okay,” I agreed, trying not to let on how much that scared me.
“Even though it’ll be hard,” she added. I guess I had been more obvious than I thought.
“Okay,” I repeated.
“We’re in this together,” she said, taking my hand and intertwining her fingers with mine. “And it’s time we started acting like it.”
