More thanks to Beth, Carol, and Mark for all their help!
From Chapter 38
“Here,” Lois said, shoving the package at Clark.
He gave her a quizzical look, but took it from her. Unwrapping it, he smiled. “Lois?”
“Okay, okay. I know. A first edition of Alice in Wonderland is sort of stupid, but it was the best I could do on short notice. I know you had a lot of that kind of thing and I'm guessing many got ruined or stolen in the robbery, so I thought I'd help you rebuild the collection. Anyway, that's why I got you the Julia Child book, too. I'm not really sure if you like cookbooks and you're already a fantastic cook, but…”
“Thanks, Lois,” Clark said, his voice soft. “I love them. Both.” He reached out to pull her towards him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “I really appreciate the thought.”
“So,” Lois asked, pulling her head away from his chest to look up at him. “Does this mean I'm forgiven?”
Clark laughed. “Yeah, I think it does,” he said, releasing her.
“Good,” Lois said. “So you'll help me with my article? I think it might be too wordy.”
Chapter 39
“That your stuff?” Louie asked when they entered the pool hall.
Clark looked at the pile of stuff on the pool table. It did look like his stuff. He sifted through it quickly. CDs, books, random junk, but no globe. Disappointed, he turned back to Louie, “Yeah, this is my stuff.”
“Kid tried to move it through a guy who knows a guy I know,” Louie explained, gesturing to the boy.
He was about sixteen, but an old looking sixteen, roughened by a hard life, Clark guessed. “How old are you?” Clark asked.
“How old are you?” the boy asked in response. “Look, just let me go. I don't know nothing.”
“Is he handcuffed?” Lois asked, then turning to Louie, she chastised him. “Louie, he's just a kid.”
“He's a runner,” Louie explained, but he handed Lois the keys to the handcuffs.
The boy watched her warily as she undid the handcuffs and his eyes wandered back and forth between the three adults when he was released from them.
“Look,” Clark said, “I just have a couple of questions about some things that aren't here. Personal things.” Clark hid an inward smile – the boy had looked up quickly at that. He knew about the globe, and he was a scared kid. Hopefully getting it back would not be that hard.
Before he could say anything else, though, the boy had jumped up, ran between them, and out the front door. “Hey!” Lois called after him.
“I'll go,” Clark offered as he watched Lois start to look through some pictures the boy had taken of Clark's stuff.
************
“I'm not going to hurt you,” Clark said before the boy had even stopped running. “I just want to ask some questions.” The boy stared at him with wide eyes. “Do you have the globe?” Clark asked.
“I sold it,” he said. Then defensively he added, “I had to.”
Clark felt his hopes crash. “Who did you sell it to?”
The boy shrugged. “Older guys. No one I knew.”
“What's your name?” Clark asked.
“Jack. Was the globe yours?” the boy asked relaxing slightly now that Clark seemed safe.
“I've been…” Clark trailed off, not sure how to answer that without admitting it was his.
“Who was the guy with Superman's "S'?” Jack asked and Clark could feel himself start to panic.
“You saw that?” he asked. “What else did you see?”
“Nothing,” Jack said. “He said something like "This is the second time I will appear' and then I dropped it and it stopped. Look, just let me go, okay?”
“Where?” Clark asked. “Where will you go?”
“No where,” Jack said, his chin jutting out defiantly.
“Take this,” Clark said handing him his card. “If you want to talk, you can call me.”
Jack took the card and looked at it skeptically.
“Take this, too. It's cold out,” Clark said, handing Jack his coat.
************
“That doesn't change anything,” Martha said over the phone. “Whether or not you believe that he didn't know who he sold it to, you still need to get it back. If it was giving Jack messages, it probably will again and someone else will find out about you.”
“I don't understand it,” Clark said. “It said it was attuned to me. Why did it work for Jack?”
“Maybe you just had to be around to start it up?” Jonathan suggested. “Once the first message was played it wasn't looking for you anymore.”
“Maybe,” Clark said. “I'm waiting for Superman to get back. I'm not sure, but I'm hoping he'll be able to share some information with me on this.”
“Don't push him, Clark,” Martha warned. “This is tough for him, you know. He's just doing what he thinks is right in keeping things from you.”
“I know,” Clark said, feeling vaguely annoyed that his mother was taking Superman's side, but he knew she was right.
“Good luck, son,” Jonathan said. “We love you and we're here if you want to talk later.”
“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too. You, too, Mom,” he said as he hung up the phone.
Hanging up the phone, Clark put his head on the desk. He was feeling tired, but he knew it was all emotional. It felt like an emotional draining few days – the globe, the robbery, the fight with Lois, Lois' saying she was in love with Superman, it all felt like a lot to deal with.
He was just starting to doze off when he heard the voice. “This is the second of five times I will appear.”
Clark bolted upright. The globe was giving another message and while he could see it, he could only assume that so could the person who had bought the globe. He felt his fingers splinter the wood on the edge of desk and released the tight grip he had had. A moment later, he was once again seemingly embraced by the hologram with the details of his bedroom fading.
He watched Jor-El and Lara continue to work. Jor-El explained again that time was short, but again, did not explain what the deadline was. Another tremor shook the lab they were in and Jor-El said something about a pattern of core-disintegration. Then the image seemed to focus on the small capsule in front of Lara. Inside was a small baby a couple of months old. The jet black hair and black eyes made it clear to Clark even if he had not recognized the capsule as his spaceship – the baby was him. The question was: would whoever else saw this also guess that?
The hologram ended and disappeared on the image of the baby and as Clark became aware of his surroundings, he realized he was not alone.
“Superman?” he called.
Superman stuck his head in Clark's room. “How are you holding up?” he asked.
Clark shrugged. “Could I ask you a question? Or maybe two? It's okay if you can't answer. But in case you can…” He did not want to push. He had been trying to be understanding about Superman's reticence to share things with him. After all, in the end Superman had told his father that his mother was not having an affair, even if Superman had not told Clark. He clearly was trying to do what he could.
“Sure,” Superman said, settling on Clark's bed.
“Could whoever bought the globe see the message? I mean, Jack said he saw the beginning of it, so I think they can, but I thought it was attuned to me,” Clark said.
Superman smiled thinly. “I know. I never understood that either. Honestly, I don't know if who ever bought the globe saw the message, too.”
“I don't suppose you'll tell me who bought it so I can get it back,” Clark asked, but his grin made it clear he knew Superman would not say.
“I don't really know, anyway,” Superman admitted. “While I had suspicions, I never knew for sure.”
“I won't get it back?” Clark asked looking panicked.
Superman sighed. He was getting worse and worse at this. It was just so hard. The more he got to know the people here, the harder it was to stay detached. Finally, he decided he had already gone too far. “No, you will. It just won't tell you who had it.”
“You think it's Luthor, though?” Clark asked.
“Well, I did have a habit back then of blaming him for everything,” Superman smiled.
“How often were you wrong?”
“Not often,” Superman said and the two men laughed. “Let's do something,” Superman suggested.
“Feeling stir-crazy again?” Clark asked. “I'm sorry. I'm sure sitting around here half the day so you don't help too much can't be fun. I know I have trouble not responding to the calls for help, and I don't even respond to the name Superman.”
Superman nodded, “It's just the desperation in their voices. I know. Anyway, I just thought you might want to do something to take your mind off the globe.”
“Sure,” Clark answered, standing up. “Can I ask you one more question first?” Superman nodded and Clark said, “Jor-El said that I was seeing these messages now because I had reached full maturity. Was that… does that mean I'm ready to take on being Superman now?”
Superman closed his eyes, weighing the answers in his mind. The honest answer was obviously no. He had heard the messages about the same time and had been Superman for months. On the other hand, what if this was the push Clark needed? What if he could go home tomorrow? The thought brought Lois' face to his mind, his Lois, and he knew he could not do it. She would be so disappointed in him.
“No,” he said, dispirited. “I saw the messages at the same time. I'm not sure if there's something else going on in our bodies we're not aware of, or we were supposed to see the messages when we were younger, but were separated from the globe too long.”
Clark nodded. “Thanks, Clark. That makes me feel better.”
They both heard the cry at the same time. “Of course, if you think you might be ready…” Superman said.
Clark looked anguished. “Okay,” he agreed, although he sounded unsure. He moved to Superman's room and borrowed a suit.
“You'll be fine,” Superman said. “And when you get back, we'll do something to celebrate.”
“Thanks,” Clark said smiling although he felt sick to his stomach.
************
Lois sat on her couch staring at the picture in her hands. She could not decide if she was more upset or curious. How did Clark know about this… whatever it was that produced the image the boy took a picture of? She assumed, given the clothing on the man, that it was Superman's. Was it in Clark's room? It was with his stuff and Superman said nothing had been taken from his room.
And that hurt. Superman had some sort of prized possession and not only did Clark know about it, but it sounded like he was allowed to keep it in his room. She thought she and Superman were friends, but was it all one-sided?
She stood up. She could not sit here thinking about this any longer. She was going to take care of this.
************
“Where's Clark?” she asked as she entered their apartment.
“He's… not here,” Superman said, wondering if he had made a mistake in answering the door. What if Clark came back while she was here? He had not been able to leave her out there, though. One glance with his x-ray vision showed her outside visibly upset. He had not even bothered to think about it – he spun into his suit and answered the door. “I can tell him you dropped by,” he said.
“Don't you even care?” Lois asked and the anguish in her voice made Superman take a step back. “Can't you tell that I'm upset?”
“I can,” Superman said, trying to keep himself from reacting to her. The urge to bring her into his embrace was strong when she was so upset. “But I thought you wanted to talk to Clark.”
“I do. But I want to talk to you, too,” she said. “What is this?” she asked defiantly, shoving the picture in his face.
Superman gasped. He had not considered this – this Lois was more brazen with him than his wife had been. She had told Clark she was in love with him just yesterday. Of course she was hurt that he had shared the globe with Clark and not with her. Unlike in his universe where Lois thought Clark had kept it from Superman, here she would not make the same assumption. It was unlikely Clark would try to keep something from Superman in the apartment Superman lived in.
“Lois,” he said, trying to find the right balance between apologetic and distant. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this.”
“You have secrets,” Lois said cutting him off. “I get that. But… if you couldn't tell me about this, why could you tell Clark?” The tears slipping down her cheeks were in contrast to the fierceness of her words and Superman felt himself take an involuntary step towards her.
Gripping his fingers in a tight fist in a symbolic attempt to strengthen his resolve to keep his distance, he apologized again. “I'm sorry. I wasn't really trying to keep it from you. I just…”
“You just what?” Lois demanded when his voice trailed off.
Finally Superman decided to be honest. “It's hard for me to talk about, Lois. Even though Clark knew about it, we never talked about it either.”
“What is it?” Lois asked, her voice still hard.
“I don't really know. It has messages on it from my parents. I…” Superman felt his resolve weakening. He had to make her feel better without touching her. He could not stand to see her so hurt. “Lois, you can't tell anyone this. You can't print it.”
“No one knows you live here,” she pointed out.
“My parents sent me here. The globe has messages from them explaining why they did that,” Superman said, trying to keep his words vague. The last thing he wanted was for Clark to find out he had told Lois about the rest of the messages when he was unwilling to share that information with Clark.
“Why didn't you tell me this before? Does Clark know?”
Superman nodded, and Lois' rage, which had cooled slightly, boiled again.
“I thought we were friends, Superman!” she yelled at him. “I mean, I know I don't live here with you or anything, but I thought…” Tears fell down her cheeks once more. “I care about you. I thought you cared about me, too.”
“I do,” Superman replied honestly, hating himself both for having hurt her and for being honest with her now. That was not helping, but she was crying and… It was so unfair. It did not matter that this woman was not quite his wife. He still could not stand to see her cry.
The truth was that even if he had told Clark about the globe – he was closer to Clark than to Lois. He thought that would be obvious, given that they lived together, but he also knew Lois. It was not surprising that she did not understand that, particularly given how she viewed her emotions for him. And the truth was, he could not tell her that – it would hurt too much and she was already hurting.
“Then why didn't you tell me?” Lois asked, her voice small, her eyes looking exceptionally large when covered with tears.
“I'm sorry,” Superman said, not sure what else he could say. Then, finally losing the battle with himself, he moved forward to place his arms around her and held her while she cried.
************
Clark landed on the balcony, feeling sort of weird. “So?” Superman called from the living room.
“I think…” Clark floundered for words. “I think it went okay,” he finally said.
“Really?” Superman smiled.
“Yeah. I um… maybe we could turn on LNN? See what they had to say?” Clark suggested. He was hesitant to feel too happy with how things had gone until he knew what other people had thought.
Superman turned on the television, glad to have an excuse not to talk. He should tell Clark that Lois had been here – that she had left not that long ago, but he was not ready yet. While he felt like Lois left feeling better about things with him, he also felt like he was leading her on. He did not mean to be, but it was so hard to keep his distance sometimes. Additionally, he knew Lois, or at least he thought he did, and just because things were okay between them now did not mean she was not still angry at Clark.
“A grease fire at one of the many restaurants at the ferry terminal spread quickly today,” the reporter said, the video showing the terminal on fire. “The fire quickly spread from kitchen to kitchen in the food court and it took more than an hour to put out. With the help of the fire department and Superman, though, there were no deaths and the number of injuries was minor.”
Superman turned to Clark with a smile. “It went more than okay,” he said.
Clark smiled too, but then turned back to the television when the newscaster spoke again. “Connie, did Superman seem off to you?” he asked the woman in the corner of the screen who was at the docks.
“Off?” Connie asked.
“He seemed a bit more formal than normal,” the man explained. “Something about him…”
Connie shrugged. “He came in and helped. He didn't stay to talk to the press, but other than that, no. Sorry, Eddie.”
The other anchor gave Eddie a dirty look and in an effort to wrap up the chitchat he started introducing the next news story.
Clark looked at Superman with wide eyes. “Or maybe not so well?” he said, his voice sad.
Superman put a hand on his arm. “No. It's unavoidable that we won't act the same. Over time, though, people will get used to you.”
“Over time?” Clark asked.
Superman looked at him oddly. “Over time. If you're out there all the time…”
“No!” Clark said, rather loudly. “I didn't realize…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “I'm not ready yet,” he finished, his voice much softer.
“Clark,” Superman said, trying to keep his voice calm as well. Still, he could not help but feel disappointed. He had thought… He so wanted to go home. “It's okay. Whatever it is that's making this so hard for you, I'm sure we can work through it. Just tell me what it is.”
“It's nothing,” Clark said. It was one thing to remember what had happened. It was quite another to put voice to it.
“Okay,” Superman said, wondering yet again what Clark was not telling him – what part of this man's history was so different from his own that he was nearly physically frightened of the suit. “Let's do something,” he said. “Like we talked about before. Something to celebrate your success today.”
“Okay,” Clark said and Superman could see that he was trying to control his breathing. “Lois gave me a cookbook earlier today. Feel like cooking?” he asked.
“Lois bought you a cook book?” Superman asked.
“It was… an apology,” Clark finished. “She was sort of obnoxious yesterday.”
“Lois apologized for being obnoxious?” Superman asked in surprise and that seemed to dispel the tension in the room.
Clark laughed first and then Superman played the words in his head again and realizing what he said he laughed as well.
“Probably a once in a lifetime experience,” Clark said, still laughing as they made their way to the kitchen.
