Last time:
Clark
Had I been using her to replace Lana?
I sighed. It was possible.
Was that the only thing I was doing?
I didn't think so.
Did I just want to satisfy some urge?
Maybe.
Did I want to make love to Lois because my feelings for her had changed?
Part of me was sad that the immediate answer was 'no, definitely not'.
I knew keeping my hands to myself wouldn't be a problem, so, after staring at the stars for a long while, I went and climbed back into the new bed.
Suddenly, I was even more glad that we could pretend we weren't sleeping in the same bed in this thing.
I had no desire to accidentally touch her in the middle of the night and, if the extra pillow separating the two sides of the bed was any indication, I was sure she had no desire to be that close to me either.
*~*59*~*
June 2004
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
I was sick of Braxton-Hicks and I still had a month to go.
I was as big as a house. None of my maternity clothes fit. I'd had to go to the store to buy a few things in a bigger maternity size – actually two sizes bigger than my original maternity clothes.
I flipped through a magazine waiting for Terri to call my name. Clark was in the chair next to me, but I wasn't speaking to him.
"Lois," Terri called as she opened the door.
I pushed up and out of the chair, tossing the magazine on the table next to me. I grabbed my purse and didn't look at Clark as he followed me.
This was going to be one of those incredibly uncomfortable appointments where Dr. McConnell checked to see if I was progressing towards giving birth.
We followed her down the hall and she handed me a cup as I made a stop in the bathroom. When I was done, I headed to the room where I heard Terri and Clark chatting about the St. Louis Cardinals. They'd discovered that they shared the same favorite baseball team – Clark from growing up in southeast Kansas and Terri from growing up in southwest Missouri about three hours away. We'd driven no more than fifteen miles from her house on our way to and from Smallville.
"Okay, Lois," Terri said when I walked in. "On the scale."
"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate this part?" I grumbled.
"Every time," she replied cheerfully as she slid the weights along the slide. "All done." She took my blood pressure. "That looks good." She typed it into the computer. "Go ahead and lie back and we'll check the heartbeat."
I rested my head on the pillow and lowered the band of my shorts until my abdomen was exposed. The cold goop took my breath away – as always – and I felt a slight thrill as the heartbeat came out of the small speaker. I didn't let myself think about Clark hearing it whenever he wanted. If there was some way I could have prevented him, I would have. I could have... forbidden him, but that would have meant talking to him.
The more I thought about it, the more upset I was that he'd decided he could have sex with me while still in love with another woman. And part of me felt sorry for him because Lana wasn't waiting for him anymore, but most of me was still just pissed. And even if we'd gone through with it, I would have been if I'd later realized he was still in love with Lana. If we were to eventually end up as – married – friends with benefits? That I might be okay with but not as a surrogate for someone I hated who would love nothing more than to see my marriage break up no matter what it might do to me or my baby.
And so I still wasn't talking to him. Even though we spent a lot of time alone together. In our room. Because there we didn't have to pretend to be nice to each other, much less in love. Sometimes, he'd take off for parts unknown, flying off of the balcony, but usually we just ignored each other. Instead of being the wonderful retreat it was designed to be, our bedroom had become another battleground filled with stony silences. The bathroom – with its very large tub and shower – was the only place I could truly find peace. The baby's room – as wonderful as it was – was still filled with fear and not just the serenity it should have. I was constantly reminded of how I'd gotten into this situation and how in danger both the baby and I were constantly.
Once the nanny's room had been finished, Clark had sometimes gone in there to watch TV or just be away from me. A beeping sound accompanied the opening of any of the doors to the floor, so he had plenty of time to do his 'whooshing' thing and get into our room and put on a good front for whoever might be visiting us.
I regretted that wasn't going to be possible once we actually hired a nanny who moved in.
I turned my attention back to the heartbeat.
Terri frowned as another Braxton-Hicks contraction hit me. "You okay?"
I nodded. "Braxton-Hicks, I guess. I don't like them."
She handed me a few Kleenex to wipe my stomach off. "How long have you been having them?"
I shrugged as I struggled to sit up, avoiding looking at Clark in the chair. "Off and on for a couple months, but they've gotten worse in the last couple days."
She nodded and pulled a sheet out of a drawer. "Okay, everything off from the waist down and Dr. McConnell will be in in a few minutes."
Clark shifted uncomfortably. "Actually, I need to go to the bathroom." He followed Terri out of the room. "I'll be back in a minute."
I was glad he was gone while I did this. I was going to make him turn around or something, but this was better.
By the time he came back in a few minutes later, I was completely covered up. He sat in the chair and picked up the magazine he'd brought with him.
"Just so you know," I said quietly. "I know you need to be there for the birth and all that, but if you even think about sneaking a peek, you'll find yourself six feet under, invulnerable or not."
"Don't worry," he said, never taking his eyes off his book.
There was a knock on the door. "Hello," Dr. McConnell said as she opened the door. "How're you feeling today?"
I shrugged. "I'm okay. Tired, sore, my back hurts. Braxton-Hicks."
She smiled. "All part of being pregnant, I'm afraid." She helped me lay back down and reached under the sheet, one hand on my stomach as another one hit. She frowned.
"What?"
"I don't think those are Braxton-Hicks, Lois."
"What?" I wasn't sure what she was saying.
"How far apart are they?"
I glanced at Clark. "I think the last one was about five or six minutes ago when Terri was in here," he said.
She nodded. "That's what I thought. You, my friend, are headed to the hospital."
My eyes went wide. "What? It's too early."
"Possibly," she conceded. "You're about thirty days from your due date. I'm not going to try to stop labor, though. We'll contact the neonatal specialists and let them know, but it's very possible that this baby will be just fine." She helped me sit up. "You're already three centimeters dilated. Do you have your bags packed and all that?"
I nodded. "Vicki laughed at me when I put everything in the Jeep today. I told her I couldn't explain it, but I needed to be ready."
"You don't know how many times I've heard that." She made a couple of notations on the chart and on the computer. "I'll call over there and tell them that you can skip triage and go straight to a room. Do you know if you want an epidural?"
I nodded. I hadn't admitted to anyone just how bad some of the contractions had been. "I met with the anesthesiologist last week and filled out the paperwork."
"Okay, I'll have them get a page in to whoever's doing epidurals today and we'll get you one here pretty quick. Why don't you go ahead and get dressed. Are you up to walking over or do you want a wheelchair?"
"I can walk," I told her, trying to squelch the rising panic.
"Okay." She smiled at me. "I'll see you in a little while then. I'll come check on you in a bit and you'll have a baby before too long." She left the room.
Clark shuffled slightly. "Why don't I start making phone calls while you get dressed?"
"Fine."
"Do you want to call your dad and Vicki and everyone or do you want me to?"
I started to tell him I would, but another contraction hit and all I could do was breath through it. "Go ahead," I said when the pain subsided.
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I sighed as I dialed another number on the cell phone Sam had given me as part of the whole protection for Lois thing.
"Hello?" came the voice on the other end of the phone.
"Hey, Mom," I said.
"Clark! What's up?"
"Lois is in labor," I told her.
"What?!" I could hear her voice grow a bit more distant. "Jonathan! Lois is in labor!"
I could hear Dad heading towards another phone.
"Isn't it too early, Clark?" she asked me, concern evident in her voice.
"The doctor doesn't think so. She thinks it'll be okay."
"Clark?" Dad broke in. "Call us with updates, okay?"
"I meant to tell you this before but... I can't believe I forgot. Sam's making arrangements for tickets for whoever wants to come – you two, Granny, Nana and Pop Pop, Grandma Davis – whoever else. You just need to call him and let him know who all's coming and how soon you can be at the airport. He's got a travel agent to make the actual reservations and stuff, but he said there's probably a lot more options out of Kansas City, even though the drive is a bit longer, than there will be in Tulsa or Wichita. Call the house and whoever answers can put you through to him or the agent."
"Are you sure he doesn't mind?" Mom asked, sounding a bit nervous. "It's so much and last minute fares aren't cheap."
"Believe me, Mom, Sam can afford it."
"Still, it seems like..."
"He wants to, Mom. I promise." I looked up to see Lois slowly walking out of the office. "I gotta go. We just left Lois' doctor's appointment and we're walking over to the hospital. She just came out."
"We'll see you soon then," Mom said. "Love you. Give our love to Lois."
"Okay. Love you, too." I flipped the phone shut. "Mom and Dad give their love. Your dad's flying them out."
She nodded. "I knew he was planning on it." She slowly headed towards the elevators. "She said I didn't need to check out like usual." She stopped and punched the down button. It took a minute for the elevator to arrive, but once it did, she walked in and jabbed at the button for the bottom floor.
She sunk into the corner of the elevator, her hand resting on her stomach. Her eyes closed and her face showed strain.
"Another one?" I asked quietly.
She nodded as she bit her bottom lip.
"Anything I can do?" I asked, my hands shoved deep in my pockets.
She shook her head and she let out a sigh of relief as the contraction passed. I let out a sigh myself. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to be a dad to a baby that wasn't mine. I wasn't ready to be a dad, period. I hadn't even slept in the same room with Lois the last few nights. If I had, I probably would have known that she couldn't have slept well. Not if she'd been having these contractions for a couple days already.
I didn't think she realized I'd been sleeping in the nanny's room, but when it was finally done a few days earlier, I couldn’t take the frostiness of ours. I'd been in there for a couple weeks when it was time to watch some TV or when we were avoiding the other family members, but after Lois snapped at me two nights earlier... I'd decided sleeping in there was a good plan for now. Looking back, it was probably early labor that had made her short-tempered, but my sarcastic comment about her nightgown when she'd gone downstairs to get a drink hadn't helped, I was sure.
It was the same gown that she'd worn the night a month earlier when we'd gotten into our biggest fight yet.
And we didn't even get to make up.
Of course, 'making up' was what had started it.
The more I thought about it, the more I wasn't sure what to make of what she'd said and done that night. We'd both been awake and perfectly coherent – well, she had been once I woke her up a bit. I knew she hadn't been sleeping deeply or a marching band could have come through and she never would have noticed, so a few kisses to her neck from me woke her easily.
But she'd been *responsive*.
She never indicated that the idea of having sex was repulsive or bothered her or whatever, only that she didn't want me to use her as a substitute for Lana.
The car arrived at the bottom floor and she pushed off against the sides of the elevator and headed out into the wide hall that led from the Women's Center to the Ellen Lane Memorial Medical Building. It housed the Emergency Room – where Lois had spent an uncomfortable night not long after we got back from Europe – as well as Labor and Delivery, the Post Natal Ward, the Women's Surgical Unit and the Pediatric Unit – complete with PICU and NICU. It was connected by hallways and skywalks to the other buildings that were a part of Met U's Medical Complex and School.
Part of me wanted to put an arm around her, support her as we walked slowly down the hall, but a glance from her as I moved closer stopped that thought in its tracks. She'd kept her distance from me for the last month and I didn't blame her. I had been working full-time since school was out, but when we were home together, she'd found time to watch girly movies with Vicki or go shopping or anything else where it wouldn't be unusual for me to be somewhere else. We'd managed to avoid watching movies or TV together with the rest of the family and once we retired to our room for the night, we didn't say anything to each other.
If I really had called her 'Lana' that night, I couldn't blame her.
She stopped and grasped the rail along the wall.
"They're coming closer together," I said with a frown.
She glared at me and her face relaxed as the contraction let up. "Thanks for that newsflash, Mr. Newsman."
"Who?"
She rolled her eyes as she continued down the hall, taking a right at the next opportunity. "From Sesame Street. He was the news anchor. That was his name."
She stopped next to a window next to a door and spoke briefly to the woman on the other side. A buzzer sounded, then there was a click and Lois opened the door. She walked through and set her purse on the counter. I stood next to her as she handed over her insurance and ID cards and answered a few more questions, filled out a few papers.
"You can have family and friends in the room with you while you're in labor," the woman said, "but when it comes time for delivery, you can only have one person. I need you to fill out this form with the name on it and then that person will have to sign a waiver that says that if he – or she – passes out or anything, you and the baby are our top priority."
Lois took it from her and I could see her hesitate for only a second before she wrote down my name and handed me the form. I signed it and handed over my ID. The lady made a copy of it and then picked up the phone and called the nurses' station. A minute later, a smiling red headed nurse walked around the corner.
Lois was in the middle of another contraction and when it was over, she led us down the hall to Labor and Delivery Room Eight.
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
If I *ever* got my hands on whoever it was that drugged me...
I would kill him.
Literally kill him dead.
This *hurt*.
Clark had looked for a minute like he was willing to hold my hand or something and if I thought for one minute that I might be able to make him feel even a smidgen of the pain I was feeling I might have taken him up on. But since he was invulnerable... There was no point.
Leslie, the nurse who led us to the room, handed me a gown and a cup – again? I'd just gone at the office, I informed her; she said to try – and sent me to the bathroom to change.
It took two more contractions, but I was finally ready to come back out into the room. Leslie – and Clark, because he thought she expected it I thought – helped me up onto the bed. She wrapped the monitors around me – one to monitor contractions and one to monitor the baby's heart rate.
She started an IV and I could feel myself relax as she gave me a dose of Stadol – a narcotic – to take the edge off the pain. I could still feel the contractions, but I just didn't care anymore.
I glared at Clark as Leslie told me that she was going to check to see what kind of progress I was making. He held my hand – because it was expected again – but stayed near my head, studiously looking anywhere but at Leslie. She'd just told me that I was dilated to five centimeters when another doctor and a nurse walked in.
They helped me sit up on the side of the bed. Clark moved a chair in front of me and I rested my head on his chest as he supported me for the ten minutes or so that it took to get the epidural in. A few minutes after that, I breathed a huge sigh of relief as I noticed a contraction on the monitor but didn't feel anything but a tightening in my stomach. Tears of relief actually streaked down my face. I'd managed to remain fairly stoic but it had hurt far more than I would ever let Clark see.
There was a knock on the door that led to the public hallway and a second later, Daddy and Vicki came in.
"Hey, Princess," Daddy said with a smile.
"Hi, Daddy," I whispered, resting on my left side, a warm blanket pulled over me. He came over and brushed the hair off my face and kissed my forehead.
"You're doing great," he whispered.
"That's the epidural," I told him, another tear escaping. I felt something unfamiliar and told him so. He pushed the call button on the remote.
"Can I help you?" came a voice out of it.
"Lois' water just broke," Daddy said.
"I'll send Leslie in."
A minute later, Leslie and another nurse came in and switched out the now wet bedding on the bottom half of the bed for dry, being careful to keep me appropriately covered. Still doing so, Leslie checked again to see if the water breaking had sped up the progress of my labor.
She smiled up at me. "It's almost time. I'm going to call Dr. McConnell. By the time she gets over here, you'll be ready to push." She looked at Daddy and Vicki. "You two will have to wait outside."
They both gave me a hug and a kiss before they left.
Clark shifted uncomfortably and moved back to my side. "I guess this is it."
"I guess so," I said, shifting slightly. I closed my eyes. Something felt weird again and this time it was just Clark and me in the room. "Something feels weird, Clark," I whispered, tears filling my eyes again. "And not good weird."
He pressed the call button repeatedly and I could only wait for someone to come in and tell us what was going on.
*****
TBC
