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Friday, Chapters 66 and 67, probably 10-11am ET

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Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Thanks.
Carol

I haven't read the actual parts yet, but...

Carol, believe me. If I didn't consider this Lois and this Clark redeemable, I would have given up reading by now. Believe me!

Carol, yay to you for providing us with such splendid entertainment! Please forgive us for grumbling a little about Clark, though. Pretty please?

Go, Carol!!!!

Ann

Okay, I've read now!

Clark is shaping up! Wow! Not with Lois, but with Christopher. Hopefully that means that he realizes that he can't just walk out on Christopher, and he can't just break up Lana's family either and take the father's place there.

And Lois has found the family that adopted their brother! And Jimmy is her brother's brother! That's lovely!

I still can't really stand Clark when he's moping over Lana, but you've got to understand that I've got a heart of stone when it comes to Clark's relationship with Lana, Carol. I'm not exactly an unbiased observer of Clark's Lana-heartache!

As for Lois's behaviour, I might have appreciated seeing a few more tender moments with Christopher. But if Lois's love for her son hasn't fully 'developed' yet, I don't altogether blame her. A friend of my mother's, a woman pushing eighty, suffered from post partum depression after she had given birth to her son over fifty years ago. She was unable to take care of her son for the first few months of his life. That's tough, but it happens. With everything that has happened in Lois's life, I can understand that she is depressed. I just hope that the pills she is taking won't harm Christopher!

Oh, and I loved seeing Star! She is one of my favorite female characters from LnC. She is wonderfully weird, and weirdly wonderful. I just loved that she could see that Clark was from far away! And she saw that Clark was somehow connected with a pregnant blonde, and it wasn't right. And she pointed out that Christopher was just so like his father, that is, Clark! Wo-hooo!!!! I wouldn't mind seeing more of Star!

I also think it's great that Rahalia is Lois's boss. I snicker happily every time you mention Rahalia's name!

My only complaint is that there wasn't more, Carol!

Ann

Okay, I meant to ask this in the last feedback thread, but what is with this "date night"? Is this something Sam set up to help Lois and Clark?

Something the whole Lane family does in general? (I noticed Ollie and Vicki had come as well.)

Is this based on Jonathan's idea that Clark should court Lois?

It's nice that Clark is acting like a real Dad to Christopher.

Oh, and I probably shouldn't be saying this because I've never been pregnuat or otherwise had a child. So in a certain extent, I don't really know what I'm talking about.

But a lot of readers have been upset that neither Clark or Lois feel any deep attachment to Christopher, particularly at the birth. But from what I've read, sometimes it takes time to develop a "bond" with your child, even though the myth is that all parents develop it when the baby first appears. (I know that this DOES often happen, don't get me wrong.)
Some parents need to find the child's personality first. Others just need time.

I'm glad Clark does realize he shouldn't be thinking of Lana the way he is, as well.

And poor Lois, still dealing with the hormones.

Oh, I certainly believe that these characters are redeemable. In fact, my intention with fdk has been to express how much I anticipate their redemption. I think the stuff that hasn't transferred from your mind to the screens is a two-fold issue.

First, I think we as readers are greedy. We'll take what you give and continue to want more- that's not something you can ever meet, so you just have to decide before hand what you're going to give us and then try to ignore the protests (i.e. 'Please, sir, may I have some more?'). The other issue, IMO, is that with first person narrative, we are inside the character's head and therefore we think that we are getting the full story. Some authors are able to use that assumption to their advantage and trick readers because they are so naturally trusting of the narrator.

This blind acceptance reveals a few things as well: the narrator is not always trustworthy, the narrator doesn't always have the whole story, and the reader is only getting select thoughts from the narrator. I said all that to say this--> while we are in Lois and Clark's heads, we have to remember that we are not always getting the full picture. After the birth, we got Lois's impression of Clark, of the parents, of she and Clark as a unit, but we didn't get a full dish of what she felt about the baby.

I think that the scene with Chris crying that night was one that many caregivers for infants can relate to. Lois was understandably overwhelmed, but because we didn't get *every* thought that was running through her head, we started to get suspicious. This makes it tricky to find the right balance of what to tell and what to imply; what scenes to show and what to describe. [For example, I was a little miffed that Lois went straight to the shower when she got home instead of greeting Chris, but I fixed it by imagining that she did it in some form anyway ] The balance of show/tell is something that I constantly battle when I'm trying to write myself, so I don't have any special advice there (not that you asked or need it, lol).

All in all, I'm still on board. I am waiting for these characters to step up and overcome their obstacles. I have faith that they will, even though I am irked and irritated with them right now. It's always easier to slide down a slope than climb up it, so they need to start carving stairs (just in case they slide again).

The Jimmy/Dave/Lois story is exciting. Can't wait to see where they go from the reveal.

Thanks for writing and sharing this story.
~s

What a nice little bedtime story! *g* I guess things are improving, if only slowly. Keep it coming!

I find that having Lois suffering from post partum depression actually explains a lot of things about why Clark isn't stepping up to the plate, so to speak. If the depression wasn't in the way, she might see that she's actively keeping him from properly relating to her.

Yes, he's still fixated on Lana who seems to have gone a little wild after Clark left her, but he also doesn't have anybody in the know who can tell him 'Hey, get over her, you have a life and she's not waiting for you.'

And yes, sometimes it does take parents a while to click with their newborns, and sometimes it never quite happens. (I mean, if the bonding was perfect and instantaneous, I doubt there would be nearly as much infant abuse.)

Several random points.

First of all I believe they're redeemable because of the fact that I have a feeling 1) this story isn't anywhere near the end and 2) there's a sequel. Sounds like there's a lot of parts left for something to happen! Second reason why I think they're redeemable is based off your previous story, Learning to Love. I just couldn't see L&C making up for a long time, but all it took was one really beautifully written part at the end to pull it all together. So I know you can do it!


This brings up SUCH a cute image of Clark telling Chris stories and talking to him! I needed that. I needed to believe that he's still a good albeit misguided guy. He's still being a moron about Lois, but I love him hanging out with the little guy and telling him stories.

Random third, Lois' PPD explains a lot; if she and Clark ever start talking, I hope she can tell him about it. And even though Clark is being a moron about Lana, I can understand the part about losing a best friend. They could both have that support if they would just start talking to each other again, but something has to break the ice...we'll just have to RAFO to see what it finally is.

JD

Hi Carol,

This is my every-15-chapters-or-so drive by to let you know that I'm still reading. Your story is such a pleasure, and I avidly look forward to your posts. New chapters every day is certainly ok with me!

I did see Clark's thoughts regarding Christopher at the end of 63 to be a turning point. But even before that, I was willing to forgive both Lois and Clark a great deal because they are 19 years old. I don't think very many of us could claim good sense at that age. Clark has done / is doing a very decent thing that he didn't have to do, and that shows a core goodness that I believe will eventually rise to the surface. In the meantime, their biggest problem is the inability to talk to each other, which isn't exactly a Class A marriage felony.

I must admit that I am looking forward to the day that Clark's memory of Lana begins to fade. His belief that she will be waiting for him when the five years is up is naive in the extreme. But, again, when you're 19, you don't have the necessary perspective to see that.

Looking forward to new posts tomorrow!

Please consider making Chris's middle name David

As it stands his name is Christopher Jonathan Kent. If you renamed him Christopher David Kent or David Christopher Kent it would show a hint that Clark had been more considerate of Lois's feelings earlier in the story.

Carol, your feedbackers (is that a word?) are so passionate because they love this story. The opposite of love isn't hate; it's apathy. The fact that everyone is hatin' on Clark right now is a sign that you've written the story so well that people care.

Also, the deeper the nadir, the higher the zenith! I'm looking forward to the point where Lois and Clark finally start talking with each other and develop the relationship that we all know they're meant to have.

Keep on posting; I check every day and I'm so happy that you're posting more frequently now! It really makes my day!

Carol, I apologize again. I never intended to make you feel that way. I hope you know by now that I don't feel the characters are irredeemable and that I don't want you to rewrite everything. I think I'll take a page from the way I deal with students in my writing classes and just ask you questions from here on out instead of making statements. The only thing is, you can't answer except by quoting from the story because what's in your head doesn't count; only what you've put on the page.

[Edited to explain: Carol, I'm not expecting you to answer me at all, or even stop your progress on your first draft. The questions below are just ones that trouble me as a reader that you can deal with when you start editing.]

In your author's note on Part 64, you said, "*I* took Clark's moment with Christopher as a turning point where he's starting to realize some things about himself and how he's been."

I don't understand why he changed. This is the last thing he thought before that scene: Not the sort of attitude that starts taking responsibility. The next scene is Lois at the Planet, and then Clark talks to the nanny and thinks: Then he picks up Christopher and has that monologue. I don't get it. Why has he suddenly decided to accept responsibility for this baby? What made the pain of staying the same suddenly get worse than the pain of changing?

Lovely word picture from Lois about Clark with Chris.

I liked Star, and I was glad Sam inadvertently forced L&C to go to the game together--until I read this: I assume that's Lois's PPD talking, but why is Clark angry enough to be speaking with icy undertones?

That marriage revelation at lunch was awkward but the revelation from Jimmy overshadowed it. That will certainly change Jimmy and Lois's relationship. Maybe they'll each take the place of the other's lost sibling.

A lot of the readers have said that Clark is like a sociopath. I disagree strongly. When men get depressed it doesn't look the same way as when women get depressed. It actually looks a lot like Clark, although it can get a lot angrier.

Also, I have a very different view about Lana. She is going down a very destructive road. This isn't just a woman on the rebound; this is a woman making life-changing decisions based on what her emotions for the last thirty seconds tell her.

There isn't an emotionally healthy one in the bunch.

While Clark doesn't need a lot of sleep, he still needs sleep. For both my husband and myself, extreme exhaustion, lack of a healthy diet and lack of exercise have caused short term bouts of depression. After two or three nights of decent sleep, suddenly rational thought returned. Perhaps with the wonky dreams Clark hasn't actually been sleeping correctly. Or maybe for him it's a sunlight issue. Or maybe I'm way off-base.

I didn't bond well with my eldest daughter for the first three months of her life. It wasn't until after her health problems were on the mend that I had the mental energy left to get to know her as a person. I also didn't realize that babies had personalities. It sounds stupid, but I didn't realize how much she communicated that wasn't daily needs. I also didn't know that I should be talking to her before she reached the babbling age. So I lived in a silent world where I spoke to no one and did nothing but care for what I deemed as a self-centered child. At the time it seemed very rational. But nobody told me differently. I tend to give new moms and especially non-lactating new dads a lot of grace.

I am, however, concerned that the trend is now for both Lois and Clark to avoid each other, particularly emotionally, and to assume the worst in each other.


Elisabeth

Few quick notes before posting again and then cleaning :p but MIL is coming over to make cookies later and then company we haven't really seen since Jan... [we've been to their restaurant and chatted for a few minutes here and there but that's it].

Anyway...

Ann - thanks . The meds won't hurt him. I've struggled with PPD myself for years [though am doing much better now - that I'm not pregnant or nursing] and Wellbutrin is safe for both pregnant and nursing women. Hehe! Star just *came* to me when I was writing that. I love her too, except that i rarely make it to her part of the series. I tend to get frustrated and not put the next disc in post haircut [of course, I know that's lots more than you've seen ].

Sara - When they first moved in, Sam said part of the nanny's job would be while they're at work/school as well as a couple date nights a month for them and a weekend every few months. This time, they decided to go to a ball game that I'd imagine Sam was planning on watching anyway. I see him/Ollie/boys watching games together and stuff on a semi-regular basis, and this time since L/C will be there, they're making it a point to watch the game together. And you're right about the attachment, it can take time.

Sonia - yeah I tend to be greedy as a reader too . That was a comment one of my betas mentioned at one point - the email thing I thing. That they'd never seen a first person narrator keep stuff from a reader, but esp since we're rotating first person, we don't see everything anyway - at least that was my thought... As for going straight to the shower, Clark had Christopher all cuddled up with him and greeting Christopher would have meant being close to Clark and she's irritated with him - don't take that the wrong way, but C was asleep [in my mind, I don't know that it's actually specified] and she may not have wanted to disturb him either. I don't think anyone can guess what Jimmy's going to do 'today' .

Lara - thanks.

Dandello - you've hit the nail on the head with some of that.

JD - no not anywhere near the end and yes there is a sequel. And *sniffle* thanks . And yes - RAFO.

Lisa - thanks for the drive by! You're right, we've all done stupid and not just at 19.

Patrick - No, I'm not going to go back and change it and there's a reason for that - besides the Navance thing [Daniel suggesting using names from Clark's family]. I know we didn't see the actual decision, just Clark's saying the name at the one point, but maybe that's something I'll add back in and he'll suggest it or something like that.

Iolan - hehe, yes I know. But as I mentioned in my last post in the other thread, yesterday morning was a bit tough anyway and I knew I probably shouldn't post but I didn't want to wait until late last night either knowing I'd be posting early today.

Sheila - I've posted again in the other thread too. Wait? You can't see what's in my head? Really? . After that came:
Then
I see some time in there - maybe I need to show some of the thoughts that go through his head, but I saw it as 'if I'm willing to do that for Lana's kid, why am I not willing to be a dad to the kid that's legally mine?' smacks self upside the head 'maybe I just need to start being willing and I'll start right here right now and talk to him and make sure I don't miss anymore of his life'. That's how I saw that anyway... As for Clark's icy undertones... He just found out Lana's pregnant and Lois is acting that way towards him and he's being that way back.

Elisabeth - I waffled on where Lana was going to go. I ended up going with the sort of middle path - one thought was complete party girl but I didn't want to go that far. And yes, they all need help. I'm so sorry about those first three months. They can be so hard, especially with health problems - you know I can relate to those.

All that said... Look for over the weekend when something extra big happens.

Carol

Haven't read any of the FDK yet, and just want to get this off my chest:

I read the first two lines about Jimmy's brother and dying and was like "NOW WAY, NO WAY, you can't make this stuff up if even you tried."

Michael