Last time:
Clark
I hesitated. "I don't know that nothing can happen to me. Remember our first night here?" I reminded her.
"You mean the night we supposedly made Christopher together?" she asked with a smirk.
The vision of her in front of the fire flashed before me for a split-second. "That's the night," I said, brushing the mental picture aside. "I would have died if it wasn't for you and I have no idea how or why I ended up that vulnerable. There's no way to know if it'll ever happen again."
She suddenly yawned.
"Come here," I said, reaching for her again. "I'll keep you warm tonight."
"Thank you," she murmured as she settled her head on my chest.
I noted again how well we fit together, even like this.
Better than Lana and I ever had.
*~*73*~*
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
Sleeping in Clark's arms was everything I'd remembered it to be.
I'd fallen asleep with my head on his chest, one arm wrapped around me, but by the time I woke up, I'd rolled over and he was behind me. One arm was looped over my waist, holding me close to him. My back was certainly warm enough.
I tugged the blankets a little closer around me and felt him tug me slightly farther back against him.
I remembered the last time we'd woke up like this in this bed. He'd thought he was on his honeymoon with Lana.
I sighed.
"What're you thinking about?" came a soft voice in my ear.
"Nothing," I said quietly.
"The last time we woke up here like this?" he asked.
I nodded.
"I felt so guilty about that, you know – I still do. The first night we were here was completely justifiable, but regardless of the reasons for the other two..." He sighed. "I shouldn't have been sleeping with you at all."
I shrugged. "None of them were your fault," I told him. "The second time you were still sick and the third I wouldn't let you leave."
"But that second time..." His voice trailed off.
"What?" I finally asked.
"Right before you woke me up the second time, I dreamed I was here on my honeymoon."
O-kay. Would Daddy have let him and Lana... I didn't even finish the thought.
"With you," he finished so quietly I could barely hear him.
"What?" Part of me wanted to roll over and stare at him, but I didn't want to move. It was so comfortable and so safe.
"I dreamed that we were here, in this room, on our honeymoon."
"You asked if I thought your parents would let me stay in your room now that we were married."
"I did?"
I nodded. "I thought you were dreaming about Lana."
We were silent for a minute.
"What do you want to do today?" he finally asked.
I winced. "I need you to go get batteries for my pump. It's been a while since I either pumped or nursed so..."
"Ah, right." He sounded a bit uncomfortable, and I couldn’t blame him. I'd run into Kristi a couple weeks earlier and she'd confided that Kevin – the husband of an OB – was supremely uncomfortable with the whole pumping thing, too. "So batteries and... that. And then what?"
I shrugged. "Games? Snowball fight? Nap? There's still no power so movies are out."
"Yep. And we don't have to be back in Metropolis until almost bedtime for Christopher so... We have all day to kill."
"I'd say lounge around and do nothing, but I think that's pretty much the only choice we have unless we decide to head back to civilization early."
I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to break what seemed to be a magical spell here. Once we'd got past the 'let's get a divorce thing', our anniversary had been good. We'd had fun. We'd been close. I could almost believe that we were... dating. On the cusp of a real relationship. In that early phase where all you wanted to do was be close together, little touches at every opportunity.
But without the kissing that would go with it.
What would it be like to kiss Clark? To *really* kiss him?
I'd kissed him before – lots of times – but only the 'we're on display and you never know who might be watching' kisses.
And the night he'd thought I was Lana.
I sighed as I closed my eyes and imagined a *real* kiss with him. Where he kissed *me*. In my mind, he was cradling my face in his hand, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone and, as he leaned in whispering my name, just before his lips brushed against mine...
The TV came on.
I squeezed my eyes shut even more tightly and willed the tears back inside.
"Guess the power's back on," he said, rolling away from me and out of bed.
"Guess so," I whispered.
*~*~*
March 2004
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I pressed carefully into the base of the car seat, while buckling the seat belt of the rental car. Since we were going to be using it for a week, it only made sense to bring the base, too.
"All set," I said, turning to take Christopher, in his car seat, from Lois clicking it into the base.
"How far to Smallville?" Lois asked.
"About two, two and a half hours to the farm," I told her, moving to the driver's door. "We won't go through Smallville."
She sighed. "Well, let's get this show on the road."
I pulled out of the spot and we were soon on our way.
Flying in an airplane with Christopher hadn't been as bad as I'd been afraid of - not after the horror stories you hear about flying with babies. Of course, I would have preferred flying under my own power still, but it could have been much worse.
Things were much better between me and Lois since our anniversary. Not great, but better.
We were friends again – more like before we went to Bremerton, before our relationship got a little weird because of Lana's increased jealousy of our friendship because we'd actually slept in the same bed together.
Well, and naked in front of the fire.
But I'd been sick and would have died otherwise.
Regardless, we were friends again and that was good. We were at least spending more time with the rest of the family – I thought they thought once we got the first year, honeymoon phase out of the way we were more sociable or something – and were more comfortable with the pretense there. Alone we were... better, too. We talked and shared stories about growing up. Lois told me about her mom and her sister. I told her about Smallville.
I'd never really told her much about Krypton, though. I wasn't sure why, but I couldn't bring myself to share too much of that with her. All she knew was that they had left me some information. That I'd somehow absorbed some of it. And maybe seen a picture or something – a letter. I'd never told her about the holograms or asked if she'd like to see the ship and the globe sometime.
I'd told her what it was like learning to use my different powers. The dangers of them – like when I'd looked through my parents' wall or I hadn't figured out how to turn my hearing off and on – and the benefits – like when I caught my great-grandma Kent's plate when Mom and Dad knocked it off the counter dancing in the kitchen one night.
I was holding back part of myself.
Sure Lois knew about me and what I could do, but it still hurt a bit that Lana wouldn't be the only one to share that distinction, too. It had been well over a year since I'd had a real conversation with her – the love of my life.
I sighed.
Lois was asleep against the window. Christopher hadn't been sleeping well – he was getting a tooth or two – and she'd been up much of the night before with him.
I still missed her. So much some times.
I knew she wasn't the same... innocent girl I'd fallen in love with over the course of my lifetime.
She had changed – and so had I. I was a dad, a... husband, of sorts.
If we could manage to work things out once this was over, I wouldn't be the only one she'd ever have been with. She'd always have the memory of other guys that I'd have to... compete with or be compared to or whatever.
Though I was still saving that part of myself for only her – I wasn't sure how I'd be able to prove it to her, not without a sworn statement from Lois or something – it wasn't something that would only belong to us.
Krypton though...
Lois knew a little bit, but not much. I'd eventually tell Lana everything if we managed to work things out.
But what if we didn't work things out?
Was I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
If Lois and I divorced and then Lana and I couldn't work things out, I'd be alone. Not completely alone, of course. I'd have my parents and Christopher. But what about when Lois met someone else? When Christopher had a step-dad? What about then?
Should I just commit myself to this marriage for the rest of my life? Was this what I wanted with the rest of my life?
Not really, I admitted to myself. Part of me – a big part – still held out hope that Lana and I could work things out some day. Another part of me knew that possibility was getting smaller every day I didn't go to her and tell her the whole truth and ask her to wait for me.
I sighed again as I pulled onto the driveway.
The crunching gravel woke Lois and a minute later we pulled up in front of the house.
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
Clark had flown some things out earlier in the morning – like the playpen and a bunch of diapers and stuff like that so we wouldn't have to deal with them on the airplane.
I'd set up the playpen in Clark's room earlier and carefully set a sleeping Christopher in it at bedtime.
We'd spent the rest of the afternoon with Martha and Jonathan and Granny Kent. I'd missed her – she was so much fun and Christopher loved her.
Things were going better with me and Clark, and it was showing. After Christmas, Martha had watched us carefully and she still was, but now, she was smiling a bit more when she was done. Apparently, we were doing something right.
I still felt like I was holding part of me back though.
I knew I was.
I couldn't let myself get too invested in the relationship.
We were having fun most of the time. It was like the first semester in the dorms, without the bunk beds. But I couldn’t let my heart get involved. That would be way too easy and truly falling in love with my husband would only result in heartbreak for me in the long run.
I headed back down the stairs to find Martha and Jonathan getting ready to head up.
"Why don't you two take a walk or something?" Jonathan suggested. "We'll get Christopher if he wakes up."
Martha winked at Clark. "You could always show her the hayloft," she said as she turned to walk up the steps.
Clark groaned. "Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad."
They were laughing as they disappeared up the stairs.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Clark asked.
I shrugged. "Sure." I grabbed the same coat I'd used the year before and put it on as we headed out the door. "Where are we going? The hayloft?" I asked with a twinkle in my eye, playfully bumping his hip with mine.
He moved ahead of me and down the stairs, heading away from the barn. "No," he finally said shortly.
I paused for a second at the top of the stairs, before sighing and following him. He'd made it about thirty feet when he stopped, shoulders slumped, hands shoved in his pockets.
"I'm sorry," he said as I neared him.
"For what?" I said, not understanding what it was that I'd said or done.
"For snapping at you." He turned and faced me, but continued staring at the ground. "The hayloft... That was where Lana and I always went."
"Oh."
He gestured towards the barn. "I mean, if you really want to see it..." His voice trailed off.
I shook my head. Not if that was where he and Lana had made out and daydreamed and all that kind of stuff. "No. Walk is fine."
We headed down the same path we had the year before, to the same clearing. We spread out the blanket and laid back on it, close but not touching.
I enjoyed this – I really did – but I had to build a wall around my heart, to protect it from the all-too-easy proposition of falling completely head-over-heels in love with my husband.
"Do you know which one was Krypton's star?" I asked. Had I asked him that before? I couldn’t remember.
"Not a clue," he said, folding his arms behind his head. "What do you want to do while we're here?"
I shrugged. "I don't care."
"Do you want to see Smallville?"
I sighed. "I don't know. Is Lana home for break?" I'd seen her a couple of times on campus and, even though I still felt badly for what she'd gone through over the holidays, there was no love lost there.
He shrugged. "I'd guess so, but I don't know."
"Then I think I'd rather not."
"Mom said the whole family is supposed to come over tomorrow afternoon for lunch and games and dinner."
"Ah." Time to meet the whole family. "Who all are we talking about here?"
"Well, we never had a wedding or reception or anything like that so pretty much the whole family remotely within driving distance will be here – I think even my Aunt Opal and her kids from the St. Louis area are coming and my Uncle Joe and his family from Kansas City. This is sort of the 'Clark and Lois got married' party or something. Didn't Mom tell you?"
I shook my head. "She said there was a big pot luck barbecue but that's it."
"Ah, well, who's going to be here... Nana and PopPop, Grandma Davis – except she's Grandma Lewis now. Grandpa Davis died before I was born, got here, whatever and she remarried a few years ago. We all still call her Grandma Davis when she's not around though. I'm not sure why, but we do."
"Who's we?"
"My cousins. My aunts and uncles will be here along with all the cousins that live close by."
I groaned. "How many people are we talking about here?"
He winced. "If everyone comes who's supposed to, seventy or eighty, maybe more. Don't expect to see Christopher the whole time."
"What? Why not?"
"He and Jerry – my cousin's newborn – will get passed from female relative to female relative – along with all other children not quite old enough to get away on their own. They all love babies. Well, all kids really."
"So what'll be expected of me then? If Christopher won't need me?"
"Well, there'll probably be a game of basketball or football or something during the afternoon. If the weather's nice, that is. It might rain tomorrow. Inside there will be a game tournament or two going on. I'm sure you'll hear plenty of embarrassing Clark as a kid stories, except that none of them know the really embarrassing stuff like when I accidentally looked through walls I shouldn't have because none of them know about the whole alien-baby-in-a-spaceship thing. I still think Granny might suspect something but..."
"Well, I won't mention it then. But I will manage to get all of the photo albums out and hear all the stories about little Clarkie Davis and slightly older Clarkie Kent."
He groaned. "Remind me to fly you somewhere far, far away and drop you off for a few hours tomorrow."
I laughed. "No such luck, mister."
*****
TBC
