Last time:
Lois
"I'm sorry for pushing you."
I saw him sitting in one of the chairs, his tie hanging from one side of his collar, jacket discarded, sleeves rolled up and forearms resting on his knees.
"Thank you," I told him quietly.
"I understand that there might be things you don't want to talk to me about and I shouldn't have pushed you."
"If there's anything relevant to anything, I'll tell you. And most things I want to talk to you about, but that doesn’t mean I want to share absolutely everything." I couldn't. I had to at least try to keep some sort of protection around my heart. It was too late - way too late – to keep from falling in love with him, but I didn't need him telling me he didn't feel the same way. "And I'm sure there's stuff you don't want to tell me about and that's fine with me. I don't need to know everything, just anything that's relevant and I trust you to decide what's relevant and what's not."
He didn’t say anything for a long minute. "Okay then."
He headed to the bathroom and I slid back under the covers, rolling onto my side, back to the bathroom. A minute later, Clark emerged and crawled into bed next to me, but instead of sliding in behind me with his arm around me like we'd woken up that morning, he rolled onto his side, his back to me.
That was how we fell asleep – or at least how I did, backs to each other like we had so many time before.
I tried not to think about how long it had been since we'd deliberately done that because I knew it would only end up depressing me.
I sighed as I realized that it was after midnight.
Happy anniversary to us.
*~*99*~*
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I didn't know what was going on in her head, but that was nothing new.
She was right – I didn't tell her everything and I shouldn't expect any more from her.
I didn't tell her that I was losing hope that I'd ever be able to work things out with Lana. I didn't tell her that I was afraid I was going to end up alone after this was all over; that I wondered about the same things she did – if I'd find someone else if I couldn't work things out with Lana, if I'd ever have that 'real' family she imagined; if I should give up on Lana and turn my attention to a life with Lois. I knew I couldn't *make* myself fall in love with her, but I could commit myself to a long-term relationship with her and see what happened.
We woke up the next morning as the sun streamed in the balcony doors. Lois groaned and pulled the covers over her head.
"Want to sleep a little longer?" I asked quietly, getting out of bed to pull the curtains shut.
"No," came the voice muffled by the covers. "I'm hungry."
I laughed, but it sounded strained, even to my own ears.
"Happy anniversary," came the voice again.
"Happy anniversary," I told her, before digging something out of my suitcase. I sat on the bed near her. "I got you something."
Her head slowly emerged from under the covers. "A present?"
I nodded and handed her the envelope. "It's nothing as nice as all this but... I hope you like it."
I'd thought about taking part of it out, but I hadn't. That would have been small and petty after the night before.
She propped herself up on her elbows and opened the envelope. She pulled out the card first. "Oh, this is great!" It was a gift card to the spa I knew she liked. She pulled the other piece of paper out. "An IOU for my favorite dinner and a night flight from the cabin." She turned to look at me. "Thank you. Really."
"You're welcome." I reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a package. "Something else. Second anniversary is cotton so..."
She looked puzzled but eagerly ripped open the paper. She stared at it for a minute then burst out laughing. "Thank you."
"It's officially yours," I told her taking the green shirt from her and holding it up. "I don't remember the last time I wore it, but I know how much you love it so..."
She sat up and grabbed at the shirt, holding it to her protectively. "Mine."
I laughed, more normally this time. "All yours," I confirmed.
We'd spent some time looking at what excursion we wanted to do during the cruise, but the couple that Lois most wanted to do she couldn't because she was pregnant and that meant I couldn’t do the ones I really wanted to either, unless we didn't go together, but I didn't think suggesting that would be a good idea. After all, it took both of us to get her pregnant and for me to go do the fun stuff we both wanted to do when she couldn't wouldn't be fair to her.
"You know, Clark, you don't have to do something that I can do. I know you'd rather go SCUBA diving or something and I can't go," she'd said. She'd flipped to the page on Cozumel and sighed, tears filling her eyes. "I can't do it. I can't believe I can't do it."
"What's that?" I'd asked, looking up from the pages I was looking through.
"Swimming with the dolphins. 'For safety reasons, expectant mothers, guests with heart and respiratory conditions and those with back/neck injuries cannot participate.'"
"I'm sorry," I'd told her honestly. "But whatever we do, we'll do it together. It is our anniversary after all."
We'd finally decided on some excursions that we'd thought would be interesting if not the most exciting ones ever.
The thought that maybe we could do this again sometime – when she wasn’t pregnant – crossed my mind, but then I realized that it was unlikely we'd do this again. If the last time was any indication, she'd nurse for a year or longer when she wouldn't want to – or be able to – leave the baby for an extended period. By then Christopher would be three and we'd be out of college and we'd have work schedules and all of that to deal with and... it just didn't seem likely.
We spent the day exploring and the evening eating at one of the much more casual restaurants. We talked about going to one of the club type areas for dancing or something, but Lois said she wasn't up for it.
Her hand was nestled in mine – I hadn't even noticed when it had gotten that way. We ended up just walking around the decks – and talking about some things we needed to discuss. It was a nice night, but I still noticed when she shivered slightly.
I took my hand out of hers and wrapped an arm around her. "Is that better?"
She nodded. "Thanks. It's a nice night, but the wind is a bit chilly."
"You know, I never did get my sweatshirt back last year," I said with a hint of amusement in my voice.
"No, you never did." She didn't comment further.
I chuckled. "Imagine that."
We walked for a while, continuing to talk quietly.
"Is it anything you want to talk about?" I asked her quietly. "I'm not pushing, I promise. I just want to know if I can do anything to help you with whatever it is." I squeezed her lightly. "That's all."
She shook her head. "No, there's nothing you can do. It's something I need to work through on my own."
"Well, I'm here if you need me."
We'd come to a stop near the railing and leaned on it.
"I guess today's as good a day as any to tell you this," she finally said with a sigh.
Nothing could have prepared me for what she said next.
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
I laughed when I opened the second present from Clark. The day at the spa and the IOU had been great, but his John Deere shirt was priceless.
We took turns getting ready and I put on my most comfortable tennis shoes. I felt so badly that Clark wasn't going to be able to do the things he really wanted to do on this trip. He felt obligated to stay with me and do whatever tour it was that I wanted – and was able – to do.
First, we went to the Key West Lighthouse Museum. The trip up the 88 steps made me a bit nervous – though I couldn't really define why – but the view was spectacular. We read the brochures and learned about the history of the lighthouse – how Barbara Mabrity had been fired for making anti-Union statements though the area was controlled by the Union during the Civil War. She and her children took shelter in the lighthouse in 1846 during a hurricane. The station was destroyed – she survived but six of her children didn't.
After we finished there, we headed to Ernest Hemingway's home and museum. Our tour was led by a guy named Joe Buggy. He was a self-described 'edutainer' and several members of our tour had been through his tours before.
It was easy to see why people came to see him over and over. He was great fun.
After that we headed to eat and then a local beach to soak in the sun for a while before heading back to the ship.
Dinner was pretty casual, not nearly like the formal affair the night before.
Clark looked beyond fabulous in his black, short sleeve, collarless shirt that showed off his chest and arms to near perfection – though I didn't think he realized that.
It occurred to me that he'd filled out since last year when we'd flown to see his parents and he'd given me his sweatshirt. He'd looked good then, but he looked better after another year.
"You can go on one of the other things without me, you know," I told him as we ate dinner. "It's not fair that you can't go SCUBA diving or something just because I'm pregnant." We were both certified divers, but there was no way they'd let me go – unless I didn't tell them I was pregnant, but that wasn't right and I wasn't about to do anything that would risk me or the baby.
He shrugged. "But I do want to hang out with you and, besides, I helped you get that way. It wouldn't be fair that I get to go when you can't when it took both of us to get you pregnant."
"Still, it's not every day that you have the opportunity to go swimming with dolphins." I realized who I was talking to and lowered my voice. "Okay, *you* might have the opportunity to swim with Orcas whenever you want, but the rest of us... You should do it – if there's an opening. Or whatever else you want to do. I can find something else to do – or even rest on board and take a nap. I would have enjoyed one this afternoon."
He smirked.
"What?"
"You did take a short nap on the beach," he told me as he took a sip.
"I did?"
He nodded.
"Well, a longer one would have been nice then."
"I'm sorry it's taking so much out of you," he said quietly, without looking at me. "I wish we *knew* about Christopher so we could compare but..."
I sighed. "I know, but unless you know a guy with a time machine, there's no way to find out. Or unless you want to submit to a DNA test or something and find out for sure."
He shook his head. "No. All of the reasons why my parents didn't think it was a good idea to run a DNA test two years ago are still valid. What if something odd shows up? It's not a risk I'm willing to take with either Christopher or the new baby – or you either."
"Me?"
He hesitated. "Let's get out of here before we talk about this more. Do you want to go to one of the clubs or whatever for dancing tonight?"
I shook my head. "I'm not up for that."
"Walk it is then."
I didn't think he realized that our hands found their way together as we walked.
"What did you mean?" I finally asked as we walked.
"Well, if something odd about my DNA came out, and someone came after me – there's not much they could do to me. But you, Christopher, the baby..." He sighed. "All of you are vulnerable. If some xenophobic nutcase found out about me and that he couldn’t do anything to me, he could come after the three of you. As long as no one finds stockpiles of that green meteorite, we're okay."
"Kryptonite," I said quietly.
"What?"
I shrugged. "It's something that stuck in my head. A Kryptonian meteorite – Kryptonite."
"Ah."
"That might be one way to prove Christopher's your son," I said slowly. "Not that I'd ever willingly expose him to it, knowing it's even a possibility, but if he ever was exposed and reacted to it... If he was exposed and didn't react, it could be because he's not a full-blooded Kryptonian or something."
He shook his head. "He'll never be exposed – neither of them will be – if I have anything to say about it."
"I'm with you there." I sighed. "I almost brought him in the house when you passed out at Danielle's. If I had, we might know."
"It's not worth knowing. Exposing him to that stuff – on the off chance that my son... I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone – with the possible exception of Navance and his nephew. And even then I'm not sure."
"Right." I couldn't imagine a pain so bad I wouldn't wish it on Navance. There was no way I'd put my children through it willingly.
We wandered slowly around the decks and when we came out the other side of a wall, the wind caught me off-guard and I shivered involuntarily.
Clark took his hand out of mine and wrapped an arm around me. "Is that better?"
I nodded, reveling in the warmth of his body near mine. My eyes closed as I soaked in the experience. "Thanks. It's a nice night, but the wind is a bit chilly."
"You know, I never did get my sweatshirt back last year," he said, and I could hear the underlying chuckle.
"No, you never did." I didn't tell him I wore it when I knew he wouldn't be around.
He laughed. "Imagine that."
We walked a little further, his arm around me. "Regardless," he said. "I'm not about to expose you or Christopher or this baby to... Kryptonite."
"I'm not either," I said quietly, though my accidental exposure hadn't occurred to me until he said something. I was sure that wouldn't be good for me or the baby.
"So no way to know if Christopher is my son without a DNA test or a random guy walking up to us and saying 'oh by the way, it was me who drugged you that night, but don't worry, I didn't actually get to finish what I started'. And he'd be lucky if he survived the encounter."
That warmed my heart slightly. That he'd feel that strongly if he found out who it was who had tried to do that to me.
We walked along a little further, the silence between us comfortable and not awkward.
"Is it anything you want to talk about? I'm not pushing, I promise. I just want to know if I can do anything to help you with whatever it is." He lightly squeezed my shoulders. "That's all."
I shook my head. "No, there's nothing you can do. It's something I need to work through on my own." I needed to work through how being in love with my husband was a good thing.
"Well, I'm here if you need me."
We'd come to a stop near the railing and leaned on it.
I sighed. It *was* our anniversary after all.
"I guess today's as good a day as any to tell you this," I finally said with another sigh.
I couldn’t look at him and it took me several more minute to work up the courage to actually say it. He waited patiently, as though knowing I needed to decide for sure if I was going to tell him.
I took a deep breath and took the plunge.
"I think I've fallen in love with you."
*****
TBC
