I hope I didn't scare my readers away with th last post or so. 
I did warn that it wouldn't exactly be sunshine and roses here, though hopefully this part will make up for it a little bit. Please let me know what you think--or heck, just tell me if you're still reading. :p Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part:She didn't love him.
Clark shuddered and leaned on his elbows on the desk, bringing his face to his clasped hands as though he could hide behind them. The newsroom buzzed around him, but everything seemed to be in a distant haze. Clark didn't hear anything that people were saying to him, and frankly, he didn't care.
His own mother did not love him.
How?
How was that even possible?
Wasn't maternal love an instinct? Didn't it come with the territory? Yet here was a woman who abandoned her own son just because he was illegitimate; because she was afraid of what her father would say. She hadn't even been honest with him about his origins.
All that, he could forgive. But what hurt the most was that she hadn't even wanted to see him, had in fact desperately tried to avoid him.
Why?
A gruff voice wafted through the haze and reached his ears. "Kent, my office! Now!"
It took several seconds for Clark to recognize the sound of his own name. He stood up woodenly, and walked to the office as though he were entirely on autopilot. Once he arrived, he wasn't even sure how he got there, or how he ended up in the chair in front of his Boss' desk while Perry rattled off a story about The King.
Clark wasn't sure about anything, anymore.
**********
He didn't forgive her. Of course. Why should he?
She had been a slut! Worse still, she'd hidden the evidence.
Abandoned him.
Lara gritted her teeth and shoved a rack of test-tubes off of the counter, letting them fall and break. He was right. A good mother would have given up anything for her son. A good mother would have stayed with her child, no matter what! She should have taken him into hiding. Or stayed and begged for his life.
Either way, the two of them should be living on the streets of Krypton! They would be together, and anyway, it was what she deserved.
Poor Kal-El... He must've been shattered, to learn that his parents were so promiscuous in their youth. She'd just ground all of his illusions into dust.
Why?
Why the depths did she come?
He did not need her, was in fact better off without her. He said himself that he had parents, and that they were better people than she.
She should never have gone looking for him.
'At least you got to see him,' a small part of her heart pleaded. Lara almost smiled, but didn't. Her heart wrenched, and her eyes once again began to fill with tears.
"Lara?" The voice caught her off-guard. A white cloth--which she had learned was called a handkerchief--suddenly appeared in front of her face, held by a man's hand.
Lara looked up into the concerned face of Dr. Bernard-Klein. He once again offered her the handkerchief. She reluctantly took it.
His eyes went down to the floor where the broken test-tubes lay, the holder lying bent among the shattered glass.
"I'm very sorry," Lara said while dabbing at her eyes. "I didn't mean to---I guess I just... I will clean it up."
He stared at her blankly. Oh, right. English.
"<I am sorry--->" she began, but he shook his head, cutting her off.
"<It's all right,>" he told her.
"<It is not,>" she insisted, crouching down to pick up the glass. She seemed to be having trouble with this planet's gravity, lately. Honestly, her lack of professional behavior these days was appalling!
She looked at Dr. Bernard-Klein in surprise as he stooped down and began helping her pick up the pieces.
"<You are kind,>" she told him.
He shook his head and dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand. "<It's okay,>" he reiterated. He grabbed a piece of paper from a tabletop, and used it to scoop up some of the smaller pieces.
There was a curious design drawn on the paper, amidst squiggles, circles, and hastily scrawled English interspersed with numbers.
Dr. Bernard-Klein tilted the paper over a waste basket to let the glass pieces slide into it.
<"What is that?"> she asked.
"Hmm?" It took the scientist several seconds to realize she was referring to the paper. "<Oh, this!>" He shook the last bits of dust and glass from it. "<It's just something I was trying to work out during my coffee break. Of course, Kryptonian DNA is too complicated to figure out over coffee, so I gave up and just started doodling.>" He gestured to the symbol, then flipped the paper over to reveal an image of several tiny, winged humanoids dancing on a cupcake.
Lara's eyes dried as she contemplated the paper and Dr. Bernard-Klein's words. "<You have been studying our DNA?>"
"<Well, yeah...>" Dr. Bernard-Klein straightened and silently offered to help Lara up as well. "<As I was saying before,>" he continued once they were both standing, "<STAR Labs has some affiliation with Superman. He often comes here when he needs help with something complicated.>" The scientist tilted his head and regarded Lara intently. "<In fact,>" he said slowly, "<Lara? How good are you with genetics?>"
She stared at him silently for a few moments before sighing and shaking her head. "<Not very good,>" she admitted. "<sorry.>"
Bernard-Klein's face fell.
"<Biology was never my field,>" Lara continued softly. "<If it had been...>" The room faded away as her mind drowned in the memories of Jor-El's last moments on this mortal plane. Watching the blazing, vivacious tower of a man slowly wither into a dead fragment of his former self had broken what was left of her heart. She'd been with him through all of it, and had loved him until the end. "<Why?>" Lara choked out, trying to drag herself out of her dark reverie.
"<Oh. Well, er, see...>" Dr. Bernard-Klein flustered. "<I can't really tell you without either security clearance or Superman's permission. STAR policy, you see.>" He sighed.
"<Is he ill?!!>" Lara asked, turning white as ice formed in her blood. "<He's not dying, is he?!>"
"<No, no,>" Dr. Bernard-Klein reassured her. "<It's just...a thing. You know--erm...>" He made a vague hand gesture. "<A Classified, personal thing that isn't really anything to wo---->"
Oh... That.
Her face must have contorted with the realization, because Bernard-Klein looked at her quizzically. "<What?>"
Lara hesitated slightly. "<There is something I should Mention,>" she finally began, her voice gaining strength as she spoke. It was something that Kal-El had a right to know. Frankly, she was disappointed with herself for not thinking to include such important information in his ship. Good Rao! What kind of mother didn't even give her own child access to his own medical background? "<Please tell Kal-El, there is a history of...fertility problems...from his father's line....>"
Dr. Bernard-Klein's eyebrows climbed up his scalp. "<There is?>"
Lara nodded and proceeded to explain the details as best as she could, which sadly wasn't very well. She knew only the basics -- bits and snatches of what the family sometimes discussed. It had fortunately bypassed Jor-El, and even if it hadn't, such an inconvenience as infertility would scarcely have mattered much on Krypton.
The good doctor leaned forward as she spoke, lapping up every detail she fed him as if it were an exotic delicacy. "<Do you know if there's a cure?>" he asked her when she stopped talking.
"<There is treatment on Krypton,>" she confirmed. "<I do not know of a 'cure', but then, one cannot rule anything out.>"
"<Excuse me...>"
Their conversation was interrupted by a feminine yet bold voice from the door. The two of them turned their heads toward the sound and saw a petite brunette standing in the doorway, her hand still pressed against the door to hold it open. She stood with a familiar power and presence, and her determined gaze found Lara and locked onto her.
"<Miss Lane?>" Dr. Bernard-Klein asked in surprise. "<What brings you here?>"
The woman didn't take her eyes off of Lara. "<Dr. Klein, I need to speak to your lab assistant.>"
Somehow, the words were commanding enough to move the scientist from his own laboratory. Bernard-Klein hastily agreed, mumbling an apology and a promise to continue their interrupted conversation at a later time. Then he gingerly took the doodled-on paper from Lara's hands and scuttled out the door.
The woman stepped aside, letting the door swing closed behind the departing scientist.
Lara studied this walking fury, then reached under the workbench and dragged two metal chairs out into the middle of the room. She sat, offering the other woman to do the same. Once they were seated, Lara looked her completely over before finally meeting her gaze and holding it.
"<So,>" she stated calmly. "<You are Kal-El's wife.>"
*****************
"My name is Lois Lane."
The older woman nodded. "Lois Lane," she acquiesced.
Lois tried to read the woman sitting in front of her, but her face was a stoic, impenetrable mask. "You're really Lara?" she asked, gruffly.
"Yes."
"The one who's supposed to be dead?" Lois snapped before she could stop herself.
The woman winced and turned away. "Why did you come here?" she asked softly.
Lois dropped her purse onto the floor and folded her arms, shooting daggers at the woman with her eyes. "I'm here," she said, her blood boiling over, "because my husband won't make love to me anymore!"
Lara snapped forward again, gaping at Lois with eyes that widened until they seemed to bulge out of her face. Her cheeks turned a flaming red that would have rivaled one of Superman's capes. Lois would have laughed at her expression if she hadn't been so angry. Or so desperate.
She sighed, letting the emotions of the past few weeks seep out of her just a little bit. "I just want to know what happened," she said. "Why aren't you two speaking to each other?"
It took Lara a few moments to regain her power of speech. When it seemed that she could once again produce sound, she shook her head. "There is nothing to speak about," she said, her voice tinged with sorrow. "I've done some things which were unforgivable, and Kal-El does not forgive me. It is as simple as that."
Lois cocked her head in confusion. "That doesn't sound like Clark---er, Kal-El."
Lara leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and bringing her chin to rest on her clasped fingers. "Lois," she said, softly, "there are things about the El family, Kal-El in particular, that you may not know..."
"You mean that he's illegitimate?" Lois cut in.
The woman stared at her again, her eyes wide. "He told you," she stated.
"I was with him when the globe came to life and told him," Lois replied.
Lara sighed despondently. "Then you know my shame."
"Is that really how you think of Clark?" Lois asked her, unable to keep the disbelief out of her voice.
Lara fell silent, her eyes softly boring into Lois'. "I have," she spoke, her voice strangely calm, "spent my entire life, since that time, in regret. I am not a monster with no conscience, or an animal ruled solely by passion. I have regretted my actions deeply, but the one deed I regret most of all is abandoning that child." Her eyes flinched as though trying to keep tears at bay.
"You may think what you like about me," Lara continued, "but I still--I still think of him as my son." Her voice began to falter. "I still love him. I ne-never stopped loving him." She took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and drew herself into an upright position once more. Her face returned to a stoic mask, flashing fear and grief in the few seconds it took for Lara to compose herself.
"You should talk to him," Lois said after a moment of silence.
The mask cracked as Lara broke into a dry, humorless laugh. "Talk to him?" she echoed. "After our last conversation, I shudder to think of the damage a second attempt would cause." She shook her head. "Besides, he wouldn't listen to anything I have to say. He made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me." Her eyes lowered. "He has other parents, now. He doesn't need me."
"He does need you, Lara," Lois whispered. Her words were so soft that anyone else could not possibly have heard her, yet the older woman sitting across from her looked up, startled, meeting her eyes once more. "He needs you," she repeated. "He needs to know you love him."
Lara stared at her, her face completely white. A tear formed in the corner of her left eye and slowly rolled down her cheek. "Will he forgive me?" she choked out, her breathing now heavy and ragged.
Lois tentatively reached out to touch her hand. "There's one way to find out," she said, taking it.
**********
What was she doing here?!
Lara tugged her cloak tighter around her, but it could not hide her from the bright, yellow daylight the way it hid her in the nighttime shadows of Krypton, so long ago. The flat, open land and clear blue sky left her feeling exposed.
She had made such a fool of herself a few days ago! Not only had she broken down--again!--in front of Bernard-Klein, but she had undoubtedly left an unfavorable impression on her son's wife. By Rao, if her son's marriage became strained because of her behavior, Lara would never forgive hersel---well, never mind. That was already a moot point.
The road she walked along was bordered by fields of dark, hilly dirt and strange, tall grasses. A few men, working or talking behind the little wooden fences, had occasionally waved at her, staring as she walked past. Lara hadn't known how to respond, so she'd kept silent and continued to stride ahead.
Now, she paused, taking out a crinkled piece of paper and smoothing it out with her hand. She stared at the directions, trying to make enough sense of them to determine if she was even going the right way...
"<Need any help, Ma'am?>"
She turned and saw a man leaning forward against a fence, holding a primitive tool in one hand.
"<Yes,>" she replied. "<Can you please tell me how to find the Kent house?>" She proffered the piece of paper.
Without even looking at it, the man gave a curt nod of his head. He stepped over to a small gate, opened it, and motioned for her to follow him. "<Come right this way.>"
"<Watch your step,>" he gently warned her as they made their way across a grassy field, the air ringing with the calls of various exotic animals. Eventually, they came to a small, gravelly path that led up to a boxy little house. Her guide went straight to the front door and, after leaning his tool against the wall, opened it. "Martha!" he called. "<We have company.>"
A short, fair-haired woman stepped into the room. Lara looked from her, to the portly man now washing his hands in a nearby basin, and back again.
"<Hello,>" the woman said. "<I'm Martha Kent. You've met my husband Jonathan.>" She gestured to the man, who gave a slight grunt. "<And you must be....>" She trailed off, allowing Lara to finish for herself.
"<I am Lara,>" she replied. "<Lara Jor-El. I...>" she gaped, not sure what else to say.
The other woman smiled reassuringly. "<Come on inside.>"
She was taken further into the house and brought into a room with comfortable furniture. The woman offered her to sit, and soon, the woman's husband joined them. "We've been looking forward to meeting you," she said.
"<So you're Lara?>" her mate chimed in.
Lara did her best not to look uncomfortable under their scrutiny. "<I---yes,>" she answered. "<Are you---you're the people who raised my s----who raised Kal-El.>"
They nodded.
"<---Thank you.>"
The woman---Martha---smiled at her. "<Thank *you*,>" she said. She casually took the hand of her husband, who shifted closer to her on the couch. Lara felt her cheeks warm slightly. "<Before your son came into our lives,>" Martha continued, "<my husband and I had been told we would never have children. Your son changed all of that. He changed *everything*...>"
"<Clark has not only done a lot for us; he's done a lot for the world,>" her mate added, picking up where she left off, "<both as a reporter, and as Superman.>"
Lara nodded. "<I have heard of some of his deeds.>"
"<He was such a good boy,>" said Martha, "<a beautiful child, and he's grown into such a fine young man.>"
"<I wish--->" Lara said, her voice starting to crack, "<I wish I could have seen him growing up...>"
Martha smiled at her again, her eyes misty. She stood up and crossed the room to a shelf, taking several books down from it. Lara gasped as Martha sat down beside her on the arm of the chair, loaded with books, and opened one for her.
Inside, the pages were decorated with flat images of a dark-haired boy with Jor-El's face and her smile.
As they turned the pages, Martha recounted the story behind each individual picture. Snippets of her son's life, from everyday moments to landmark events, cascaded through the pictures and Martha's narration. Jonathan joined in the reminiscence, giving even more depth to the stories the flat pictures were telling.
Images of her teen-aged son blurred into indistinct blotches of color, and Lara had to pause repeatedly to wipe at her eyes. Soon, Martha departed to the kitchen to begin cooking, leaving Jonathan to continue guiding her through these captured moments in time. They must have spent hours...
A sudden noise startled Lara out of her blissful commune with the images---her son's life. Her motion caused Jonathan to look up as well. Delicious smells were coming from the kitchen, and the door there had just swung open. Her son stood just inside the doorway, dressed in his tight, blue-and-red Superman outfit, holding his wife in his arms.
Even though she had met with him before, and even though she had just spent the better part of the day looking at pictures of him----nevertheless---it never ceased to amaze her how much he resembled his father. She would never get over that, until the day she died.
His eyes were locked with hers. Lara slowly stood, removing the book from her lap and setting it down with the others. "<Hello,>" she said softly.
"<What's going on here?>" he asked after a long silence.
His wife scrambled down from his arms, straightened her skirt, and said, "<Exactly what I told you, Clark---dinner with your parents.>"
**********
TBC
