Unexpected time this morning but not much... Thanks to the betas!
Last time:
Lois
"Dr. Klein. He's your husband's brother, right?"
I sighed and nodded. So much for no one noticing.
"Anyway, when Dr. Klein agreed with his assessments and they found the problem yesterday, suddenly he wasn't crazy anymore."
"Okay, so he's back on the transport."
"Right, but no one knows yet. Not his wife and daughter, not anyone. Only a couple of big mucky mucks. He's using false papers as a member of the hospitality crew on the transport."
"If he's not considered crazy anymore, why the secrecy?" That didn't make any sense.
"Because he knows something's going to happen. Something big and I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's going to happen on the launch pad or at launch or half way to the space station or even on Prometheus itself. I can't find out what it is and he can't either."
"So go and find out what it is?"
"I can't go take care of it because I've got this inner ear thing. I have another set of documents that would get you on board if you're up for it."
"Why me?"
"My gut says you're the one to go and my gut's always right."
I bit my bottom lip as I thought about it. The transport ship was only supposed to be gone for a few days – just long enough to drop off the colonists and supplies before coming back. I'd let Perry know where I was going and he could tell Clark. It could be the distance Clark and I needed to get our official separation started. The boys would be taken care of and Nate was showing signs of weaning anyway so... Especially if he was going to be living with Clark, he wouldn't be nursing much longer anyway.
I nodded. "Let's do it."
*~*138*~*
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
I took a big bite of my sandwich to avoid the question. We'd been sitting there long enough that it was a bit stale, but that didn't stop me from eating most of it while Lana watched with an amused look on her face.
"What?" I asked her.
"You're avoiding the question."
"Are you really sure you want to talk about this?"
"Are we getting back together?" she asked quietly. "Is that what you want?"
I thought for a long moment before answering.
Was that what I wanted?
Did I still miss Lana? Did I still miss my friend?
Yes.
Did I miss Lana, my girlfriend, the person I was going to marry?
I sighed as the realization came over me.
"No. It's not what I want. I'm sorry."
"I'm not," she said with a smile. "I wish things could have been different, that none of us would have gotten hurt like happened over the last three and a half years. That you guys wouldn't have lived through everything you have. But now... I've met someone. He's a great guy from Hutchinson. He's studying to be a pediatrician and will be moving back to Kansas before long to do his residency. His name is Chad and he's going to take over for Doc Johnson in a few years. He's twenty-six and a great guy. I think you'd really like him." She smiled at me.
I frowned for a minute. "Chad Andrews?"
"Yeah. You know him?"
I thought for a minute. "I think he dated my cousin, Kim, for a while in high school – my Aunt Dorrie's daughter."
She shrugged. "Maybe. He graduated from Smallville, but a few years before us."
I smiled back. "Well, I'm glad."
"So, I'm okay with talking about this if you are. So, do you want to stay with Lois? Is that an option for you?"
I sighed. "She's said for a long time that if I want to stay because I want to be with her, she'd be open to it but only if I really wanted *her*. Not because you'd moved on or there was no one better – she wouldn’t settle for second choice or 'better than being alone' and I wouldn't expect her to and I wouldn't want to either. 'Friends with benefits', she called it, isn't an option and, really, to this point, 'benefits' hasn't been part of our relationship."
"Why not?" she asked suddenly. "Was it that bad?"
I raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"
She shrugged. "I don't want *details*..."
"It was good, really good," I admitted. "But..." I winced at the memory. "...the first time I *really* kissed her was when she was still pregnant with Christopher and... I still don't remember saying it, but she wouldn't lie about something like that..."
"Like what?" she finally asked, when I didn't continue.
"She said I, um... called her Lana."
Lana winced. "Slick."
I sighed. "Like I said, it was a long time ago, when I still hoped that we'd get back together. Anyway, she said if I ever tried something like that again without *really* meaning it... The only other times we've *really* kissed was after her dad's heart attack and I kissed her after Nate was born, but that's it."
"Why not?"
"She meant it when she said I better really mean it. After the heart attack... it wasn't really like that. She instigated it and the understanding was that it was essentially a one-time thing."
"Essentially?" she asked with a smirk.
"So it was more than once, but over a short time period." I couldn’t look at her as I said it.
"So you're really good together, you have two kids, you're *already* married. Why don't you want to give a shot?"
I poked at the last tomato before glancing at my watch. "I love her – she's my best friend; I'd miss her a lot – but do I love her like a man should love his wife? The kind of 'who you can't live without' kind of love?" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Wouldn't I know that by now? It's been three and a half years. Wouldn't I know by now if I was in love with her?"
Lana shrugged. "There's lots of different kinds of love – you told me that, remember?"
I nodded, glancing at my watch again as I did. "I gotta go. I'm going to be cutting it too close as it is. I'm covering the transport launch at EPRAD."
We stood and I gave her a big hug. "Thanks. And good luck with doctor man."
She laughed. "Thanks."
We headed out the door and shared another hug. She waved as I climbed in a convenient cab.
"EPRAD," I told the driver. "And step on it."
~~~~~
Lois
~~~~~
I saw Clark hugging a blonde in front of the deli near the Daily Planet. I was in the back of the dark panel van, sitting out of sight, but I could see them through the windshield as we sat at a stop light.
I got a good look as she pulled back and smiled at him. He smiled back.
Lana.
Of course.
Who else?
It further reinforced my decision to go.
Bobby would tell Perry where I'd gone once I was gone. I wasn't about to take any chances with him telling me not to go. I'd also told him I'd be incommunicado until after the launch so he wouldn't expect to hear from me and an ill-timed text message from Jimmy wanting an update wouldn't screw things up.
"So what exactly is the plan?" I asked Bobby.
"We're picking up Platt," he told me from the driver's seat of the van. "Then we get you and him into the EPRAD building. He'll have a colonists' jumper for you to put on. You need to get your hair all appropriate and all that."
I nodded and dug through my bag and found a hair band, pulling my hair into a tight ponytail at the base of my neck as we lurched forward.
Fifteen minutes later, Platt was huddling in the back of the van. He dug a tan jumpsuit out of his bag. It was wrinkled but looked clean enough.
"Put that on, Ms. Kent."
I raised an eyebrow at him. I was still in a suit skirt.
"Please, Ms. Kent," he said, exasperated.
I sighed and motioned to him to turn around. He complied before I'd finished the motion. I took my suit coat off and tugged off my nylons. "I can't wear pumps," I said. "Do you have any shoes?"
He nodded.
I pulled the jumpsuit on as far as I could before managing to wiggle out of my skirt. I tugged it up over the camisole I'd been wearing under my suit coat, zipping it up in the front.
"You'll need to take off your jewelry, too," Platt told me as he handed me a pair of utilitarian socks and soft soled boots.
I fingered my earrings. They'd been a present from Daddy for my sixteenth birthday.
"I'll make sure you get them back, Lo," Bobby called from his seat.
I sighed and took them out, sticking them in the small zippered pocket of my briefcase.
"And your wedding ring," Platt said, staring out the window.
"Are you serious?" I was dumbfounded. Surely they didn't expect people to remove wedding bands – diamonds, sure, but bands?
"Yes. Can't wear them."
I sighed, tears filling my eyes. I knew that my marriage was essentially over but removing my ring...
With one swift movement, I tugged it off and slipped it into the pocket as well.
We were rapidly approaching EPRAD.
"There's about four hours before the launch," Platt said. "There will be a briefing that you need to attend. I know you're not a real colonist but in case of emergency or something, you need to know those things."
I nodded.
"Under here," he said, pulling me down and covering us with burlap.
After a cursory examination of the van – during which Platt and I stayed extremely still – we were waved through.
Fifteen minutes after that, I merged myself into a line of colonists. Platt had promised to meet up with me again when we boarded the ship itself. He'd show me a jump seat that I could stow away in. Meanwhile, I was supposed to be keeping my eyes open for anything suspicious.
Of course, I didn't know what normal was so I wasn't entirely certain what I was supposed to be looking for.
The briefing lasted about an hour and was full of last minute instructions and emergency evacuation procedures if something happened on the launch pad.
My gut feeling was that if something happened on the launch pad, the man who was still my brother-in-law was our best chance of survival.
All luggage – and there wasn't much apparently – had already been stowed for the passengers. I got the impression that the two or three day trip to dock with Prometheus was going to be a pretty boring one for most of the passengers. Storage space was so limited that they were unable to bring much to do. There were screens built into every other seat back so that they could watch the movies or television shows from the central database. There were also infomercial type programs available with just about everything you'd want to know about the space station.
I sighed. I'd have even less to do, I was sure. Brood, cry, relive my night – nights – with Clark...
Suddenly, the meeting broke up and I stayed near the back center of the crowd as we left the room.
~~~~~
Clark
~~~~~
"Have you heard from Lois?" Perry asked when I answered the phone.
"No," I replied. "Why?"
"My gut is telling me that girl's getting into something."
I sighed. "Probably. She didn't give you any indication what she was working on?"
"Not really. Something with that Bobby Bigmouth Billy and Serena swear by, but that's all I can tell."
"I'm sure she's fine," I told him, though my gut was starting to churn as well.
"Probably, but keep your ears open."
"Will do."
"She said she won't be able to be in contact with us for a while – no phone calls or text messages until after the launch."
I sighed. "Okay. Thanks."
The cab pulled up to the main EPRAD gate where I got out, paying him and making sure I got a receipt so I could get reimbursed.
I was cleared by security and sat for about fifteen minutes on a shuttle bus that would take me, other members of the press and others to the observation areas.
As a member of the press, I was ushered into a building where a few statements would be given as the launch time neared. About half an hour before the launch, we'd be taken to the press area to watch the launch itself.
I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling settling in my gut.
I wasn't sure what it was. Lois? Something was going on with her?
The briefings were pretty standard stuff. Yes, they'd found the problem with the coolant that Dr. Platt had brought to light and Dr. Klein had confirmed. No, they didn't anticipate any problems with the launch. Yes, everything was going smoothly. No, they wouldn't be allowing any interviews with colonists at this point.
There was an update on how things were going every hour or so. Two hours before the launch, the colonists entered the ship. We watched that on the big screen in the press briefing room.
My eyes narrowed as I thought I caught a glimpse of...
Lois?
Getting on the transport?
Surely not.
Could it be?
I slid my glasses down and tried to zoom in, but she – whoever she had been – was long gone and using my x-ray vision only showed me the wall behind the screen. I'd have to try to get a better look when we got outside.
There was about twenty minutes before the next briefing. Was there anything I could do?
I called her cell phone and – unsurprisingly – it went straight to voicemail. I hadn't really expected her to answer.
With little else to do for the time being, my mind wandered to my conversation with Lana.
Did I want to make things work with Lois?
Maybe?
Gee, what wonderful lukewarm sentiment.
I mentally rolled my eyes. I was quoting Friends to myself. That was something Lois would do – should I read anything into that?
I didn't think so. It just meant that we'd been in close proximity a lot over the last few years.
Right?
So did I want to make it work?
Did I want to live a life without my sons?
No.
Did I think they needed their mother?
Definitely.
Was the best thing for them Mom and Dad together?
Probably, but only if we really wanted to be together. Contentious parents who fought non-stop or ignored each other or otherwise modeled behavior that we wouldn’t want them to grow up thinking was normal probably wasn't a good plan.
I sighed. I didn't think I'd come to a solution watching a colonial transport launch.
My thoughts were interrupted by the T minus ninety minutes statement.
I wondered if Van-El was around – just in case something did happen – that the end of whatever this was hadn't ended with Baines death.
I sincerely hoped he was around – especially if that was Lois I'd seen getting on that ship.
Just because she'd moved out, because we'd said our marriage would end once the threat from Navance was over, didn't mean I wanted anything bad to happen to her.
Whatever it was she was doing, I hoped she knew what she was getting into and I hoped she knew how to get out.
The feeling in my gut was intensifying the closer we got to launch.
But what exactly was I supposed to do about it?
*****
TBC
